Author's Note:  Footnotes at the end of the chapter.

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There and Back Again

Chapter Nineteen:  Hiking Back

            His answer placated Ruri.  She let herself fall back into the grass.  'I wish we could stay here.'

            The youkai decided to tease the hanyou despite his better judgment.  'Did I just hear computer-girl extraordinaire Hoshino Ruri say that she wanted to stay in a time when there is no electricity for her comp, no running water for her hair, and a fight around every corner?'

            'Baka.  I meant stay here.'  She thudded a fist softly into the ground.

            Inuyasha paused to take in the surroundings again.  "I know.  I wish we could too.  No Nergal, no Jovians.  No worrying about protecting jewel shards until you figure how to go back in time to get rid of them."

            Ruri rolled onto her stomach and propped up on her elbows.  "Inu-kun, I don't get one thing.  You're strong enough to not be controlled by the shards like that centipede, why do you hate them so much?"

            Inuyasha popped a few joints as he thought.  "It's not that I hate them, Ruri-chan.  It's that I... fear them."  Ruri's eyes widened at the thought of him fearing something.  "They have a tremendous amount of power that requires your entire focus to be able to control.  You've heard us talk about Naraku.  He rarely fought his own battles unless forced to, because he focused all of his energies on controlling the shards themselves instead of the shards controlling him.  And who's to say that they weren't controlling him?  It's not like he was trying to use them to help the world.

            "No, I think that there is only one person in all of time who can actually control the Shikon no Tama.  Kagome-obasan.  Not even her predecessor in reincarnation, the miko Kikyou, could purify the jewel, and she herself was destroyed by its evil through Naraku.  If I were to actually use the jewel, even for noble reasons, even with all of the power I have, it would consume me."  He looked straight at Ruri.  "Um, I'm about to say something that will show just how much I fear that jewel, but it's very arrogant for me to say it, so feel free to be liberal with 'baka', okay?"

            Ruri nodded and he continued.  "To be honest, I haven't shown you half of what I can do.  I possess all of the Inu-youkai powers of my father and all of the Mizu-youkai powers of my mother, plus several variations which combine their attacks, such as how I performed Mizu no Shi on my grandmother."  Ruri sorted back through their "mind meld" to see the pentacle carved by the energy whips of his father.  "With power does come responsibility.  Each attack requires a little more mental strength to be able to control it and keep it in check.  The more attacks you can use, the more your mind must control them.  Inuyasha-sama doesn't have to have much mental control to be able to command his attacks.  Otou-san requires much more, but it still doesn't approach the control which I have of my mind.  All of that, and I still fear that the jewel will possess me."

            "Baka.  'It ain't braggin' if you can back it up.'" she countered in perfect English.

            The youkai smiled warmly.  "I guess you've got a point."  The smile faded slightly.  "When Otou-san found the first Shikon no Kakera, it was already several years after Kagome-sama and Inuyasha-sama died.  At that point, he was still far stronger than I was, and he forced me to use the shard one day in training.  It consumed me.  I was unable to fight its control.  Otou-san saved my life when he removed the shard from me as much as if he had blocked a sword aimed at my throat.  His plan worked though.  Since then I've never had any desire to possess the completed Shikon no Tama for myself."

            He stood and stretched.  "We should head back."

            Ruri sighed.  'I don't wanna.'

            'You asking to be carried, imouto?' [1]

            'I dare you, nii-chan.' "EEP!"[2]

            Ruri found her self hoisted onto the youkai's back.  They again were inside of each other's minds, but Ruri found it more controlled this time.  She propped an elbow on each of his shoulders, and placed her chin in her hands.  'Nii-chan, are you learning more control?'

            'With added power comes added responsibility,' the youkai repeated to the hanyou.  'It's getting easier to keep my mind focused so it's not a deluge to you when we're in contact.'  He kept the floodgates of his mind open enough for her to not be overwhelmed, and listened to her responses.  Growing accustomed to influx of thoughts from her mind as well, he let his mind wander.

            'I can't believe they asked you that,' Ruri echoed in his mind.

            'Huh?'  Oops, he'd let his mind drift back to the grilling Sango and Kagome had given him.  'Oh, that.  I wouldn't worry about it, imouto.  They were trying to look after you, after all.'  Ruri lapsed back into silence.  Inuyasha wasn't entirely sure if she was embarrassed about it or mad about it since he was getting mixed signals passed into his head.  He accidentally let his mind drift back several years to a part he'd tried to block from his mind.  Unfortunately, Ruri caught the thought.

            The youkai braced himself as Ruri's thoughts smashed into him.  Shock, anger and jealousy were the big ones that hit him.  The youkai winced at the force in his head.

            'You didn't tell me you have a girlfriend.'  He heard icicles in her voice.

            'Had.' the demon corrected.  'I believe we're roughly the same age as demons go, though she's much older than I am by human reckoning.  We had gotten together about a year before I bumped into Inuyasha-sama and Kagome-sama at the gas station.  She was actually with Jaken and I that day.  But after the events with Ofukuro..." he paused and Ruri felt sadness emanate from him.  She hugged his neck as he continued to walk back to the village.

            'After Ofukuro's attack, Otou-san's hatred shifted from being towards humans to being towards youkai.  He even once made comment that after Rin died he should have married a human or at most a hanyou instead of a youkai.  I can't blame him for making me swear that I would never mate with a youkai.'

            He heard a sniff come from his back.  "Hey, no crying back there, imouto," he said aloud.

            "But, it's not fair that your father made you leave her," Ruri insisted.

            "Otou-san knew that my loyalty to him was stronger than that to my dead mother, but wanted to ensure the same if I ever chose to have children.  Fair or no, I bear no grudge against Sesshoumaru-sama for it."

            "Youkai are weird."

            "Yep."

******

Footnotes:

1. Imouto means "little sister"

2. "nii-chan" is an affectionate way to say "older brother".