I do not own Inuyasha, but I plan on owning Sesshoumaru sometime soon. I already have a hot pink leash and harness for walkies!
Time Trip: It's best not to Know, Not to Compare
"Hun? Oh! Yes, yes Chichi-ue. I'm awake." The young youriki snapped up into a standing position. He felt suddenly very empty. The way Inuyasha spoke to him earlier it was obvious he expected that Lady Shinju and Sesshoumaru were as close as he was to his own mother. Sesshoumaru took orders from his mother, who told him that all loving sons were obedient. He could never come to her and speak as openly with her as Inuyasha just did with his mother. He would receive nothing but nagging and criticism, while Inuyasha received endless support and compassion. It wasn't fair! Could his Chichi-ue have been right to push Lady Shinju away? Was she really as bad as Sesshoumaru had been told? He couldn't quite think strait as he thought of the countless snide remarks made about his mother. The other Ladies of the house whispering that she was conceited and sly, servants commenting on her overly cold manner, and his own Chichi-ue's angry screams the night he returned from Lady Futomi's family home assaulted him. He had killed servants in her defense and raised arguments in her favor that now seemed empty and hollow.
'The way she's raised that boy, I feel sorry for the poor pup. She's such a vile, two faced creature.' The whispered memory burned him. He had killed the servant who had whispered those words. Whoever had been on the other side had run before he could get them, but he heard of that later as well. '...to defend her that way! She misleads everyone as much as she can.'
"I think I'll get back to my training, Chichi-ue. This matter does not concern me much."
"Alright then, Sesshoumaru, I will see you at dinner."
'Everything is not alright, Chichi-ue.' Sesshoumaru thought as he picked up speed. He hit the forest edge at full speed. 'I hate them! I hate my mother! I hate my brother! I hate his cursed human mother! I hate them for showing me! I wish I didn't know! I should never have followed Chichi-ue. Then I wouldn't know how a mother is supposed to treat a child. I don't want to know! I want to forget! Kami-sama, help me forget! Haha-ue, tell me it's a lie! Tell me that I just never wanted that. Tell me that treatment would have made me weak. Tell me anything, so long as I can believe you. Tell me you can make it all go away. I want to hate him for staining my heritage. I want to hate him and his mother for their filthy blood. Kami-sama let me hate them for dishonoring my family!' Sesshoumaru ran as fast as he could. He crashed through bushes and jumped sideways off tree trunks. He twisted and spun in the air, attempting the hardest stunts he knew of, hoping to keep his mind busy. He cut a tree into perfectly sized boards, then started chasing a lone stag as it ran in terror.
'I'll just run away. He can become the Lord of the Western Lands. Then I can hate him for that. I'll hate him for taking my place. I... I can't hate my mother, I won't allow myself to! It is dishonorable to hate the one who gave me life. I will honor and love her, because I have honor. I have more honor then my brother. I always will!' He broke off chasing the stag to race a fallen branch caught in a swift river. The rapids shook and tore the wilted leaves, and Sesshoumaru gave up the game. He rocketed along the steep banks. He would run. It was real and he did it well. He could outrun almost everyone in the castle. His speed was his strength, and he would make it his salvation.
'...you came here to have your ears pet and be put to bed.' That cursed woman's voice was still with him. 'Lady Shinju said she heard the young prince say he... that he loved his Kasan.' The servant was there too, taunting him.
"I hate you all!" Sesshoumaru screamed.
'Why? Do you have a good reason for your feelings?' Lady Yukio's words, filled with compassion and understanding echoed back at him.
"Because my Haha-ue would slap me if she heard me speak that way." He answered the memory, suddenly realizing that some of the dizzy sensation that plagued him was caused by falling off a cliff. The river banks had broken off into a steep cliff, the water cascading down in a beautiful waterfall. Sesshoumaru didn't have time to admire the shine of the sun on the falling water, because he crashed hard into the shallow water and rocks of the pool below.
Sesshoumaru woke slowly, a piercing headache paralyzing him for a few moments. His careless mistake should have left him to drown in the icy water. It was stupid for him to run so fast without paying attention to where he was going. Sitting up, he realized he hadn't the faintest clue where he was. The water, though shallow and broader then the river on top of the cliff, was still swift. It had most likely washed him to shore. The rocks had torn his silk clothing to shreds, and he had many rough gashes all over his body. 'Why would fate spare me my life, but take so much away?' He tried to remember how he got to where he was, but couldn't keep the terrifying memories at bay.
'Begging your pardon, but I don't see how you of all people could defend your Haha-ue. She treats you in such an unacceptable way...' Lady Futomi's words were gentle, and overly understanding. Lady Shinju taught Sesshoumaru that that was the tone people used when talking to an idiot, and so he refused to be spoken to in that manner.
'No she doesn't! Haha-ue treats me fine.' A very young Sesshoumaru snapped back.
'Have you ever seen another child with his mother? Do you have anything to compare...?' Sesshoumaru growled
'I don't need to; she says she loves me and I believe her.' Another memory surfaced, years after the first.
'You are growing older Sesshoumaru; I expected you to understand the situation better then this.' He heard his father say, breaking his mask of curiosity to show true concern.
'I understand. Haha-ue loves me, and she loves you, but you never loved her. You just took her as a wife to expand your borders!'
'That is a lie.'
'No it isn't, Haha-ue told me the truth.'
'Perhaps you are still too much a child to understand.' Then he remembered his brother's words from the night before.
'I'm sure your Haha-ue calls you something other then your name that is quite embarrassing, and the same for what you call her. I love my Kasan enough to keep calling her that just to make her smile at me.'
'You admit you love her more then you love Chichi-ue?'
'Yes.'
For the first time in decades, Sesshoumaru started to cry. Finally confronted with another mother-son relationship to compare his own to, he had to admit he was wrong. 'My Haha-ue uses me to get information. She doesn't love me; she just wants to be in charge. She never worried about me, never asked if I was alright, and never listened to my problems. He bent his head to hide the silent tears.
'Sesshoumaru, you are strong and don't need to be treated like a baby anymore. Now stop crying, it's dishonorable.' The remembered words stung. 'I was four when she said that to me. I can't remember her ever treating me like a baby.'
'Calm down, Inu-chan, you've shed your tears so it's time to move on.' Sesshoumaru almost whimpered. 'My brother is a full grown man and he can cry privately with his mother's comfort.'
"WHY? What cruel game is fate going to play with me? Is this Kami-sama's sick idea of a test?" Sesshoumaru cried to the heavens.
'The only person she hates...It doesn't matter though. If her trust in me was shattered so quickly...switch from loving...to hating that quickly...I am glad we were tested. I would have made a terrible mistake...' His brother had said that. Sesshoumaru had only been half listening after Inuyasha and Yukio switched subjects, but he could remember that much.
"Are you testing my trust in my Haha-ue?" He asked whatever god was listening. "Are you telling me I have made a mistake, and my Haha-ue is not what I think she is?" Sesshoumaru screamed, and was answered by his echo: "Haha-ue is not what I think she is." This time Sesshoumaru did start whimpering, and finally gave into the urge to burst into uncontrollable sobs. Every so often he would manage to whisper a heartbroken: "Why?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, you thought this was a story centered on Inuyasha did you? Well now you know better. How do you like my little sub-plot? It gets even better, but you HAVE to read the Kagome side now if you haven't before. I changed the plot outline a bit and the next chapter dealing with Fluffy-chan will have A LOT to do with what is happening to Kagome. I'm going to upload more of the Kagome side chapters to bring you guys up to present w/her. And now for REVIEWERS:
Lord Sesshoumaru: THANK YOU! Reviews like that make my ego happy, healthy, and ready to fuel more chapters!
Pruningshears: This reminds me of my Boyfriend, who is off in boot camp. My Dad likes my boyfriend, and it's very simple to understand why. The first thing Tater Tot said when he met him was "Sir." He remembered that, he's bragged about that (and other things), and he trusts Tater with his 'little girl' much more then any previous BF I've had. In short: Calling a man "Sir" isn't a bad thing, most notably when you are dating his daughter.
Iota: You bring a plushie 'round here you'd better be willing to share. Specially with this chapter. Poor Sesshoumaru! *Glomps feudal era Sesshoumaru* He's so cute with his fuzzy boa/tail! "Release me... what are you?" I'm a Western Dragon, which goes excellent with the Western Lands, don't you think? *Tater Tot, equipped with rifle and battle fatigues comes out of the shadows* "Off my girl!" Just playing Tater Tot! You are more glompable then Sesshoumaru anyway. *GLOMP!*
Surf Angel: "I, Sesshoumaru, am not to be laughed at."
Time Trip: It's best not to Know, Not to Compare
"Hun? Oh! Yes, yes Chichi-ue. I'm awake." The young youriki snapped up into a standing position. He felt suddenly very empty. The way Inuyasha spoke to him earlier it was obvious he expected that Lady Shinju and Sesshoumaru were as close as he was to his own mother. Sesshoumaru took orders from his mother, who told him that all loving sons were obedient. He could never come to her and speak as openly with her as Inuyasha just did with his mother. He would receive nothing but nagging and criticism, while Inuyasha received endless support and compassion. It wasn't fair! Could his Chichi-ue have been right to push Lady Shinju away? Was she really as bad as Sesshoumaru had been told? He couldn't quite think strait as he thought of the countless snide remarks made about his mother. The other Ladies of the house whispering that she was conceited and sly, servants commenting on her overly cold manner, and his own Chichi-ue's angry screams the night he returned from Lady Futomi's family home assaulted him. He had killed servants in her defense and raised arguments in her favor that now seemed empty and hollow.
'The way she's raised that boy, I feel sorry for the poor pup. She's such a vile, two faced creature.' The whispered memory burned him. He had killed the servant who had whispered those words. Whoever had been on the other side had run before he could get them, but he heard of that later as well. '...to defend her that way! She misleads everyone as much as she can.'
"I think I'll get back to my training, Chichi-ue. This matter does not concern me much."
"Alright then, Sesshoumaru, I will see you at dinner."
'Everything is not alright, Chichi-ue.' Sesshoumaru thought as he picked up speed. He hit the forest edge at full speed. 'I hate them! I hate my mother! I hate my brother! I hate his cursed human mother! I hate them for showing me! I wish I didn't know! I should never have followed Chichi-ue. Then I wouldn't know how a mother is supposed to treat a child. I don't want to know! I want to forget! Kami-sama, help me forget! Haha-ue, tell me it's a lie! Tell me that I just never wanted that. Tell me that treatment would have made me weak. Tell me anything, so long as I can believe you. Tell me you can make it all go away. I want to hate him for staining my heritage. I want to hate him and his mother for their filthy blood. Kami-sama let me hate them for dishonoring my family!' Sesshoumaru ran as fast as he could. He crashed through bushes and jumped sideways off tree trunks. He twisted and spun in the air, attempting the hardest stunts he knew of, hoping to keep his mind busy. He cut a tree into perfectly sized boards, then started chasing a lone stag as it ran in terror.
'I'll just run away. He can become the Lord of the Western Lands. Then I can hate him for that. I'll hate him for taking my place. I... I can't hate my mother, I won't allow myself to! It is dishonorable to hate the one who gave me life. I will honor and love her, because I have honor. I have more honor then my brother. I always will!' He broke off chasing the stag to race a fallen branch caught in a swift river. The rapids shook and tore the wilted leaves, and Sesshoumaru gave up the game. He rocketed along the steep banks. He would run. It was real and he did it well. He could outrun almost everyone in the castle. His speed was his strength, and he would make it his salvation.
'...you came here to have your ears pet and be put to bed.' That cursed woman's voice was still with him. 'Lady Shinju said she heard the young prince say he... that he loved his Kasan.' The servant was there too, taunting him.
"I hate you all!" Sesshoumaru screamed.
'Why? Do you have a good reason for your feelings?' Lady Yukio's words, filled with compassion and understanding echoed back at him.
"Because my Haha-ue would slap me if she heard me speak that way." He answered the memory, suddenly realizing that some of the dizzy sensation that plagued him was caused by falling off a cliff. The river banks had broken off into a steep cliff, the water cascading down in a beautiful waterfall. Sesshoumaru didn't have time to admire the shine of the sun on the falling water, because he crashed hard into the shallow water and rocks of the pool below.
Sesshoumaru woke slowly, a piercing headache paralyzing him for a few moments. His careless mistake should have left him to drown in the icy water. It was stupid for him to run so fast without paying attention to where he was going. Sitting up, he realized he hadn't the faintest clue where he was. The water, though shallow and broader then the river on top of the cliff, was still swift. It had most likely washed him to shore. The rocks had torn his silk clothing to shreds, and he had many rough gashes all over his body. 'Why would fate spare me my life, but take so much away?' He tried to remember how he got to where he was, but couldn't keep the terrifying memories at bay.
'Begging your pardon, but I don't see how you of all people could defend your Haha-ue. She treats you in such an unacceptable way...' Lady Futomi's words were gentle, and overly understanding. Lady Shinju taught Sesshoumaru that that was the tone people used when talking to an idiot, and so he refused to be spoken to in that manner.
'No she doesn't! Haha-ue treats me fine.' A very young Sesshoumaru snapped back.
'Have you ever seen another child with his mother? Do you have anything to compare...?' Sesshoumaru growled
'I don't need to; she says she loves me and I believe her.' Another memory surfaced, years after the first.
'You are growing older Sesshoumaru; I expected you to understand the situation better then this.' He heard his father say, breaking his mask of curiosity to show true concern.
'I understand. Haha-ue loves me, and she loves you, but you never loved her. You just took her as a wife to expand your borders!'
'That is a lie.'
'No it isn't, Haha-ue told me the truth.'
'Perhaps you are still too much a child to understand.' Then he remembered his brother's words from the night before.
'I'm sure your Haha-ue calls you something other then your name that is quite embarrassing, and the same for what you call her. I love my Kasan enough to keep calling her that just to make her smile at me.'
'You admit you love her more then you love Chichi-ue?'
'Yes.'
For the first time in decades, Sesshoumaru started to cry. Finally confronted with another mother-son relationship to compare his own to, he had to admit he was wrong. 'My Haha-ue uses me to get information. She doesn't love me; she just wants to be in charge. She never worried about me, never asked if I was alright, and never listened to my problems. He bent his head to hide the silent tears.
'Sesshoumaru, you are strong and don't need to be treated like a baby anymore. Now stop crying, it's dishonorable.' The remembered words stung. 'I was four when she said that to me. I can't remember her ever treating me like a baby.'
'Calm down, Inu-chan, you've shed your tears so it's time to move on.' Sesshoumaru almost whimpered. 'My brother is a full grown man and he can cry privately with his mother's comfort.'
"WHY? What cruel game is fate going to play with me? Is this Kami-sama's sick idea of a test?" Sesshoumaru cried to the heavens.
'The only person she hates...It doesn't matter though. If her trust in me was shattered so quickly...switch from loving...to hating that quickly...I am glad we were tested. I would have made a terrible mistake...' His brother had said that. Sesshoumaru had only been half listening after Inuyasha and Yukio switched subjects, but he could remember that much.
"Are you testing my trust in my Haha-ue?" He asked whatever god was listening. "Are you telling me I have made a mistake, and my Haha-ue is not what I think she is?" Sesshoumaru screamed, and was answered by his echo: "Haha-ue is not what I think she is." This time Sesshoumaru did start whimpering, and finally gave into the urge to burst into uncontrollable sobs. Every so often he would manage to whisper a heartbroken: "Why?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, you thought this was a story centered on Inuyasha did you? Well now you know better. How do you like my little sub-plot? It gets even better, but you HAVE to read the Kagome side now if you haven't before. I changed the plot outline a bit and the next chapter dealing with Fluffy-chan will have A LOT to do with what is happening to Kagome. I'm going to upload more of the Kagome side chapters to bring you guys up to present w/her. And now for REVIEWERS:
Lord Sesshoumaru: THANK YOU! Reviews like that make my ego happy, healthy, and ready to fuel more chapters!
Pruningshears: This reminds me of my Boyfriend, who is off in boot camp. My Dad likes my boyfriend, and it's very simple to understand why. The first thing Tater Tot said when he met him was "Sir." He remembered that, he's bragged about that (and other things), and he trusts Tater with his 'little girl' much more then any previous BF I've had. In short: Calling a man "Sir" isn't a bad thing, most notably when you are dating his daughter.
Iota: You bring a plushie 'round here you'd better be willing to share. Specially with this chapter. Poor Sesshoumaru! *Glomps feudal era Sesshoumaru* He's so cute with his fuzzy boa/tail! "Release me... what are you?" I'm a Western Dragon, which goes excellent with the Western Lands, don't you think? *Tater Tot, equipped with rifle and battle fatigues comes out of the shadows* "Off my girl!" Just playing Tater Tot! You are more glompable then Sesshoumaru anyway. *GLOMP!*
Surf Angel: "I, Sesshoumaru, am not to be laughed at."
