(a/N: ^^ Thankies for over 20 reviews! ^^
Kaneda-Shotaro and Yami Tetsuo: Glad you like it. ^^ And here is the continuation.
Tallulah: ^^ Glad you like the fic and I'm sorry to say it is almost over...I'll miss it too. *pets poor, poor fic* Maybe I'll write something else...*thinks about such* I agree that the chapter's shortness gave it some sort of...potency...^^
Now, on with the fic!)
Just To Tell You
Chapter 10: Numb
Yamagata walked into the apartment, shutting the door behind him quietly. He slipped his shoes off and padded across the floor, eyes glued to the ground. Kai was glaring at him from the kitchen table. He felt so guilty and he knew that if he looked at Kai, the guilt would be unbearable.
He sat down, eyes still fixed on the floor. "Kai -"
"We've got to end this."
Yamagata nodded, trying to keep tears at bay. He'd known this was coming, hadn't he?
"I'm sick and tired of being you're whore, Yamagata. I couldn't be one even if I tried."
Yamagata swallowed the bile rising in his throat.
"This hasn't changed a thing for me. It's just as bad - worse."
Yamagata didn't reply. He felt sick. He didn't want to end this, not now...
"We've never done anything other than screw."
Kai's voice choked up and Yamagata knew he was crying. "That's not a relationship, Yamagata. I don't want this. I want a relationship."
/I'm not what you thought I was./
"When we do it, it's like you're not even there."
Yamagata blinked. "Not even there?" he managed quietly.
Kai looked away, sniffling a bit. "There's no connection, no feeling. You could be anybody. But you're not you."
Yamagata nodded as though he understood, as he tried to wrap his mind about what Kai had just said. "I see."
"Yamagata, I'm really sorry. I thought I loved you -"
Yamagata steeled himself, waiting for the final blow. " -And I still do," Kai whimpered, then broke down, sobbing.
Yamagata blinked several times, trying to process what Kai had said. /Kai...loves me?/
At last, Kai spoke again. "It's just this. It's all wrong and there's nothing in it for me. I feel like this is all about you."
/That's not true! Kai, Kai, it's not true!/
His thoughts flailed in a helpless panic. There was another long, terse pause. Yamagata realized that Kai had no more to say and took it upon himself to continue the conversation. He reached into his jacket pocket and produced a small, gift-wrapped box. He presented it to Kai. The shorter boy blinked in surprise. "Yamagata -"
He looked at Kai and nodded. "I hear what you're saying, Kai. And I'm sorry. I'm a selfish ass - I never thought once about you."
He caught the boy's gaze. "I can say I'm sorry a million times and it won't change a thing. You won't forgive me."
"Yamagata -"
The taller boy walked over to Kai and kissed him chastely on the cheek. He opened the box for Kai and slid the contents over Kai's finger. He headed for the door. He turned back to the startled boy at the table. "I love you, Kai. And...I'm sorry."
"Yamagata - "
The door shuit and Kai stared blankly at it, then looked down at the perfect golden circlet on his finger. It fit perfectly too. He slid it off and realized it had been engraved. The flowing hand of the enscription read "Yamagata & Kai".
Kai slid the band back on his finger and looked at the door, tears brimming in his eyes. "Yamagata - I forgive you."
And he dropped his head onto the table and wept bitterly.
[A/N: Taa-daa. La fin! Yama was totally OOC there. O__o;;;; And I honestly thought this chapter was longer...Onward to the epilogue! R&R pwease? ]
Kaneda-Shotaro and Yami Tetsuo: Glad you like it. ^^ And here is the continuation.
Tallulah: ^^ Glad you like the fic and I'm sorry to say it is almost over...I'll miss it too. *pets poor, poor fic* Maybe I'll write something else...*thinks about such* I agree that the chapter's shortness gave it some sort of...potency...^^
Now, on with the fic!)
Just To Tell You
Chapter 10: Numb
Yamagata walked into the apartment, shutting the door behind him quietly. He slipped his shoes off and padded across the floor, eyes glued to the ground. Kai was glaring at him from the kitchen table. He felt so guilty and he knew that if he looked at Kai, the guilt would be unbearable.
He sat down, eyes still fixed on the floor. "Kai -"
"We've got to end this."
Yamagata nodded, trying to keep tears at bay. He'd known this was coming, hadn't he?
"I'm sick and tired of being you're whore, Yamagata. I couldn't be one even if I tried."
Yamagata swallowed the bile rising in his throat.
"This hasn't changed a thing for me. It's just as bad - worse."
Yamagata didn't reply. He felt sick. He didn't want to end this, not now...
"We've never done anything other than screw."
Kai's voice choked up and Yamagata knew he was crying. "That's not a relationship, Yamagata. I don't want this. I want a relationship."
/I'm not what you thought I was./
"When we do it, it's like you're not even there."
Yamagata blinked. "Not even there?" he managed quietly.
Kai looked away, sniffling a bit. "There's no connection, no feeling. You could be anybody. But you're not you."
Yamagata nodded as though he understood, as he tried to wrap his mind about what Kai had just said. "I see."
"Yamagata, I'm really sorry. I thought I loved you -"
Yamagata steeled himself, waiting for the final blow. " -And I still do," Kai whimpered, then broke down, sobbing.
Yamagata blinked several times, trying to process what Kai had said. /Kai...loves me?/
At last, Kai spoke again. "It's just this. It's all wrong and there's nothing in it for me. I feel like this is all about you."
/That's not true! Kai, Kai, it's not true!/
His thoughts flailed in a helpless panic. There was another long, terse pause. Yamagata realized that Kai had no more to say and took it upon himself to continue the conversation. He reached into his jacket pocket and produced a small, gift-wrapped box. He presented it to Kai. The shorter boy blinked in surprise. "Yamagata -"
He looked at Kai and nodded. "I hear what you're saying, Kai. And I'm sorry. I'm a selfish ass - I never thought once about you."
He caught the boy's gaze. "I can say I'm sorry a million times and it won't change a thing. You won't forgive me."
"Yamagata -"
The taller boy walked over to Kai and kissed him chastely on the cheek. He opened the box for Kai and slid the contents over Kai's finger. He headed for the door. He turned back to the startled boy at the table. "I love you, Kai. And...I'm sorry."
"Yamagata - "
The door shuit and Kai stared blankly at it, then looked down at the perfect golden circlet on his finger. It fit perfectly too. He slid it off and realized it had been engraved. The flowing hand of the enscription read "Yamagata & Kai".
Kai slid the band back on his finger and looked at the door, tears brimming in his eyes. "Yamagata - I forgive you."
And he dropped his head onto the table and wept bitterly.
[A/N: Taa-daa. La fin! Yama was totally OOC there. O__o;;;; And I honestly thought this chapter was longer...Onward to the epilogue! R&R pwease? ]
