Chapter 5: Never Take Kuwabara To The Zoo

You sit on a bench in the middle of a crowded city. The people walk by, all with a place to go. The sun is shining brightly, but you feel so depressed it seems like a rain cloud is over you.

"Hey Miss, Why are you looking so sad?" a gruff voice says

"Oh it's nothing really," You reply

" I, Kazuma Kuwabara, sense that something is wrong and insist on

making you feel better. Now what's wrong?" Kuwabara asks

You look up Kuwabara is holding a camcorder.

" What's with the camera?" you ask

"Well it's for a school project. It's not due for a weak though, so I still have time to cheer you up," Kuwabara explains. He kneels before you and takes your hand. " What's wrong?" he says sincerely

"My boyfriend left me for Lara Croft," you answer

"You're kidding," Kuwabara says

" Nope," you say

"Lara Croft isn't real. She's just a video game character," Kuwabara said, " Beautiful girl, I promise that even if she was real I would never leave you for her,"

At this moment a leggy and buxomly brunette in hot pants and a gray shirt walks by. She looks exactly like Lara Croft.

" Lara Croft!" Kuwabara says and runs after here. The camcorder is still recording. The crowd blocks him from view, but a few seconds later you hear a slap. Kuwabara returns to your bench with a big red mark on his face.

"Heh, sorry about that," he says sheepishly

You giggle. He's funny, and you could use some cheering up.

"Tell you what. Since I'm feeling so generous, I'll let you take me somewhere to make it up to me," you say

Kuwabara jumps up at this and helps you from the bench.

"Beautiful girl, where to?" Kuwabara asks you.

" How about the zoo?" you suggest

" Right to the zoo it is," Kuwabara says

You and Kuwabara walk to the nearest subway station. He puts the camera away in its nice safe holding bag. You two wait on the platform for about five minutes. Meanwhile you keep each other entertained with odd stories. The subway finally arrives. The doors open with a woosh, and you two step onto the train. Luckily it's a weekend, and the subway isn't too crowded. You and Kuwabara choose two seats next to each other. After 3 stops, the train reaches the station closest to the zoo. You and Kuwabara get off and keep talking while you walk up the stairs back to street level. After a short walk you finally reach the entrance to the zoo. Kuwabara pays the entrance fee and you two are in. First you take him to see the crocodiles. The exhibit is 10 feet below street level. There is a balcony with glass and guardrails at street level so visitors can watch the crocodiles from above. The crocodiles are resting calmly and visitors are snapping pictures.

"Crickey what a beauty these are. Careful though they'll bite your head off worse than my wife when I forget the bug spray," you say in mock Australian accent

Kuwabara takes out his video camera and films your impression. He then hands you the camera.

"Aww these guys aren't so scary," Kuwabara says, bending closer to them.

At that moment a young girl runs by and bumps into Kuwabara's side.

"Ahhhh" Kuwabara screams as he falls down into the exhibit. He lands

with a splash in the muddy water. The crocodiles sense this and start swimming toward him. Kuwabara panics and starts climbing the walls to get back up. He gets up a few feet then slips back down. This time the crocodiles are really close. Kuwabara climbs the wall as fast his legs will allow. The crocodile rears up on its hind legs and snaps. Kuwabara makes it back over the barrier and falls onto the ground.

"Kuwa Lua, are you okay?" you say

"Yeah I'll be fine," he says

He gets up and you notice there's a hole in his pants. You turn back to the crocodile and see that he has a peace of fabric in his mouth. You cover your mouth to suppress the giggles. Not to mention you got all of it on tape. You finally manage to stop laughing.

"Kuwabara, How about we get something to eat?" you suggest

"Sure! Whatever you say beautiful girl," Kuwabara says

You and Kuwabara find a little food hut within the zoo grounds. You get a hamburger, and Kuwabara gets a hot dog. You turn off the camera and eat. Soon you two have eaten your food.

"So where do you want to go now?" you ask Kuwabara

" I think the tigers might be cool," Kuwabara says

"Sounds great! Just let me get a coke on the run," You say

So you order a coke from the cashier and then get on your way. Kuwabara gets the camcorder and stuffs it in its holding bag. As you walk down the path to the tiger exhibit you sip on the coke. Finally, you reach the exhibit. It's huge with green grass everywhere. The older tigers are roaming and the cubs are frolicking. Their trainer comes out. It's a young woman.

" Hey I know her," you say. You wave. She waves back. She comes to the edge of the exhibit and opens a hidden door. She gestures you two in. You toss the coke into a trashcan and go in.

" Hey Sakura," you say

" It's good to see you," Sakura says

" Thanks for letting us in," You say

" Hey no problem," Sakura says

"Can I hold one of the cubs," Kuwabara asks

"You better not. They can be quite dangerous sometimes," Sakura warned, "but you can watch me feed one of them,"

" Alright!" Kuwabara cheered.

He got out the camcorder again.

" Think you could get this on tape?" he asks, handing you the camera

" Sure!" you say

You follow Sakura as she heads toward one of the cubs.

" Byakko! Come here," Sakura called to the cub

" You named him Byakko?" Kuwabara says. He then turns pale.

" You okay?" you ask. Kuwabara regains composure and assures you it's nothing. You turn the camera on Sakura as she feeds the little cub. Out of nowhere a young boy in black appears. He stands over Sakura and pulls a bandage that was covering up his forehead. With the bandage removed you can see he actually has a third eye. The third eye glows. Sakura gets a blank look on her face and then walks stiffly to an adult tiger.

"Sic him," She commands the tiger. Sakura is pointing to Kuwabara.

The tiger roars and bounds toward Kuwabara. Kuwabara runs screaming like a madman. The tiger chases him around the exhibit a few times. You chase too, trying vainly to catch up to the tiger. Meanwhile you are getting it all on film. The tiger pins Kuwabara to the ground and scratches up his shirt. Finally, Sakura loses the blank look on her face.

"Tony! Heal," Sakura says, "I'm sorry. I don't know what got into Tony,"

"Oh don't worry about it," you say

Sakura pulls Tony off of Kuwabara. Kuwabara weakly gets to his feet and you two walk out of the tiger exhibit. You look around there is no sign of the boy in black.

" You okay?" you ask

" Yeah I'll be fine. The mighty Kazuma Kuwabara will not be beaten by a few scratches," Kuwabara says, striking a dramatic pose.

" Maybe we should go to petting zoo area where they keep the harmless animals," you suggest

"Yeah," Kuwabara agrees

So you two walk off to the left. Kuwabara takes the camera back and stuffs it back in his bag. Soon you two arrive at the petting zoo area. It is in a barn. You go inside and there are baby goats, baby pigs, and chickadees. There are also many other cute baby animals. You are drawn to the baby bunnies. Kuwabara comes over to look at them too.

"Aren't they just adorable?" you ask

"Yeah," Kuwabara says

You snuggle one the bunnies. Kuwabara pulls out his camera and starts recording this.

" Hey you pick up one. I'll hold the camera," You suggest

Kuwabara hands you the camera. He picks up one of the baby bunnies. The bunny jumps from his hand and onto his head. The bunny starts nibbling on his hair. Kuwabara falls down. The other bunnies jump from their box and onto Kuwabara's hair too.

"Why is this happening?" Kuwabara shouts from under the bunnies

"Maybe it's your carrot hair," you say

Kuwabara then shouts, "Spirit Sword," An orange blade of light appears in his hands. At this the bunnies jump off of him.

"What was that?" you ask amazed

" It's my spirit sword," Kuwabara explains, " it's tough to explain, but I form it with my own energy,"

"Cool," you say

The blade disappears. You and Kuwabara get out of the barn and walk toward the exit. You get out and start walking down the street.

" Could you show it to me again?" you ask

" Kay, Spirit Sword," Kuwabara says

The glowing blade reappears in Kuwabara's hands. At this moment you two are walking past a movie theatre.

"Look! That guy has a cool light saber," you hear someone say

You turn and it's a guy wearing a cape. It turns out he's standing in line for the new Star Wars Movie; Attack of the Clones. Behind him is a man dressed up as a storm trooper. There are two boys fighting it out with toy light sabers. There's a line of Star Wars fans.

"Hey cool," says the storm trooper, "I'm Steve, would you consider selling it to us?"

" Uh gee. It's not for sale," Kuwabara says, scratching his head.

" Oh I see it's a rare collectible. If that's the case I'll pay you $50.00 for it," Steve says

" No this sword is very important to me," Kuwabara says

"Then don't give it to a punk like Steve. Give it to me, Nathan," the man in the cape urges

"No," Kuwabara says, " I could never part with this sword," Kuwabara insists

" The way you're treating it, that must be a gift from Lord George Lucas himself," Nathan suggests

At this there were mutters down the line about a rare George Lucas light saber. Everyone is turning to look at Kuwabara now. Kuwabara begins to back away. Then he turns and runs. You do too. The Star Wars fans give chase. You two run down the block and then run down into a subway station. You and Kuwabara jump on just as the train arrives. Many of the Star Wars fans jump on too but some of them get left behind. When the train stops you two get out. You run back to street level and try to get lost in the crowd. Then you duck into an alleyway and go through to another street. At this point you've lost a quarter of the Star Wars fans. You then spot some laundry drying on the line. There's a dress and some panties. You grab the dress.

"Kuwabara," you say

"Uh uh no way," he says shaking his head and disappearing the sword.

" Where'd he go? Must find that saber," Steve says

Steve then spots you two and comes into the alley.

"Give me the sword," he commands

There's a window nearby with a vase. You grab the vase and bring it down on his head. Steve falls to the ground out cold

" Now will you put on the dress?" You ask

" Fine!" Kuwabara says

You turn as he changes.

" Now you can look," He says

You look back. Kuwabara is now in a pink dress with floral print all over and lace near the edges. You bite your lip to suppress the giggles.

" C'mon Kuwarella," you say

You and Kuwabara make it back to his apartment safely. He goes to the bathroom and changes into some normal clothes.

" Hey Kuwabara, do you think I can have the tape?" you ask

"Sure, Why?" he asks

" Well just to prove this day really happened," you say

He then sneaks you past his sister and out of the house. You get back to your house and crash onto the bed.

************Two months later**********

You edited the tape and sold it over the Internet as, When Animals Attack Goofy Orange Haired Idiots. You also made another tape called, Star Wars Fans Gone Wild. You then open your own film studio and get rich. You live happily ever after with your hired man slave, Kurama.

So that was Kuwabara's chapter. Sorry to the Kuwabara fangirls, but he is the most bashable Reikai Tantei there is. Oh well he's a good guy. I'll buy him a nice bar of chocolate as soon as I'm done with this. This was more insane then I ever thought possible. This crazy saga is over now. Well it was good while it lasted. Thanks for reading and reviewing. Any questions, comments, or concerns can be sent to Nkitpanich@msn.com

Sayonara