Chapter 2

Ok, so here's my plan. Rolf misses his homeland, right? So, I'll create an exact replica. First I have to lure Rolf with some bait. We're in the lane, right next to Rolf's fence. "Ed, hurry up with that bowl, will you?" I yelled. "Almost there, Eddy." Then lumpy dropped the bowl. "Got milk?" asked Ed. Then I got a hold of a pump Double-D invented. "Oh, I've got milk!" I said. Then I started pouring the milk in the bowl. Earlier, I hooked up the pump to one of Rolf's cows. Now that the bowl's filled up, I jumped in and felt weird. Hey, you'd feel weird too if you were lounging in a giant bowl of milk. "Double-D, it's time to add the cereal." "I'm on it, Eddy." Double-D started dumping tennis balls in the milk. Sure we can fill this bowl with milk, but it would take forever to add real cereal, so we're using tennis balls. "I have to go to the bathroom." Said Ed. Oh no. I've gotta stop him. "Ed, hold it in. Don't go in the milk, you idiot." That was close. What in the world is taking Double-D so long with the tennis balls? "Move it Double-D!" "I'm shoveling as fast as I can, Eddy." Geez, I'd hate to see how fast he can fly. "We need more tennis balls to float in the milk. We need a full bowl of cereal." This going to take forever. I guess I'll check if Rolf's coming. "Come on, before Rolf shows up." Uh oh. He's already here. "Quick Ed, you know the drill." Ed better remember what we practiced. "Whoo hoo. It's a wish come true, huh Ed?" It's working so far. "I wish, I wish, I was a fish." Lumpy blew it, I just know it. "Your kitchen ware is larger than papa's nasal wart. But how can this be?" Rolf sure lives in a weird place. "You can't catch me." I'll let Ed have his fun while I conduct a mature, sensible business deal. "We just wished for a giant bowl of Chunky puffs, and presto change-o, we're soaking in it." .... Well, it wasn't mature or sensible, but it was a business deal, right? "Hard to believe, isn't it Rolf?" Darn, Double-D is going to blow it! "Tell Rolf more of this hocus pocus, as Rolf has wishes too." Hook, line, and sucker. I've got to think fast. That's how I got this far in my life. Aha! I grabbed Ed's leg and showed Rolf the shoe. It's just that this shoe is going to be a magic one. "Behold, the magical shoe!" Rolf was falling for it like a ton of bricks! "Rolf is humbled by the stench of destiny." Stench of destiny. I've got to remember that. "Believe in the stench, Rolf, as it will grant your wish, no matter what it is." Man, I'm good. "Can it take pity on Rolf and take him to his homeland?" "Yes." "May Rolf speak to the shoe?" "No." "No?" "Yes, no...." "Yes, Rolf knows what make Ed-boy tick. No?" Then he held out some cash. How could I deprive him of his wish? "Yes." This was going so well. "Rolf's legs wobble with weakness!" I was trying to hold in my laugh. This was so perfect it was funny. Then Rolf made a disturbed face. I don't like the looks of it. "Is there a manual for this?" Yeah right, like anyone needs a manual for a shoe. Maybe Ed does though. "Just make your wish, and take a big whiff, of the Stench of destiny!" Almost there.... "Rolf doesn't have to smell the..." "Shoo." Oops, I hope Rolf didn't hear that. "Oh great shoe, take pity and return Rolf to his home!" Then he actually took a really big whiff of the stench. What a sucker. Once again, I was trying to hold my laugh. Then, Rolf passed out from the stench. Geez, that must have been a really smelly shoe. Ed needs to bathe more often, like all the time! Enough chatter. "Bingo. Ed, you pick up Rolf and take him to the construction site. Double-D, you look for any information on Rolf's homeland, and then start building the scenery at the construction site." I like ordering people around. "And what, may I ask, will you be doing, Eddy?" I might as well tell Double-D. "Duh! Isn't it obvious? I'll be changing my clothes. This milk is going to take forever to wash out." Then Double-D ran to his house, while I went over to mine. After I made it to my room, I decided to change into another of my normal clothes. Then I noticed a hidden door at the end of my closet. I opened it to find a hidden passageway. Then I saw a chest. "All right! Maybe it's gold!" When I opened it, it turned out to be costumes. "This stinks. What a rip off." That's when I realized that I could use these costumes for something. "That's it. We'll be able to use these as part of the scam! Brains and looks. A deadly combination that could only be handled by me and my charm." After I changed into some suitable clothes, I picked up the light, yet heavy, chest. After today, I'm going to be rich!