What if…
A different kind of fic by linzy8554, the ever insane person who would love to spend all her time chatting with friends on the Internet but doesn't really have the time. For that matter, she has no time at all. Too bad for her.
Rated PG to be safe. Warning: minor bashing for EVERY character. Major bashing for some.
Well, earlier I began to think (first time for everything) and… wait. I forgot what I had thought about. Typical. Anyway, here's the fic!
Disclaimer: I don't own nothing. Except for me. RANDOM SQUIRREL!
How this works: each chapter is a "What if…" kind of thing. In example, chapter one is "What if… Ganondorf was a fashion expert… in denial?" I take suggestions, and chapter 2 is already in the works. But I'll say more on that later. Just read and review!
What if… Ganondorf was a fashion expert… in denial?
…
"Team battle, one stock!!!" the announcer's voice rang over Icicle Mountain.
Ganondorf looked down at his clothes. "Red team…" he muttered, scanning the area for his opponents. "Link… green… Zelda… green… Young Link… green… WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH GREEN HYLIANS!? Not like they would be caught dead in blue or red…"
Then again, red was out of season. Why did HE have to be out of season? He always seemed too slow to catch up with fashion. Who really cared about fashion anyway… Not like anyone ever noticed his beautiful cape or shiny boots…
What was the deal with the boots, anyway? Plenty of the Smashers wore them… What purpose did they serve? Sure, they were useful on Icicle Mountain and Fountain of Dreams to keep his feet warm and dry, but wouldn't it have made a lot more sense to have a nice sporty pair of athletic shoes? Who came up with the wardrobe anyway? He struggled to decide which Smasher he pitied the most.
Was it Peach, whose identity changed with her outfit? She could be Peach, Daisy, or Nurse Peach- depending on what she was wearing. That had to be disturbing.
Or was it the nearly nude crew: Bowser, Kirby, the Pokémon, Mr. Game and Watch, DK, and Yoshi? He'd ask them if they were making a statement or something, but unfortunately, none of them could speak in complete sentences. Except for Bowser, who was too bent on capturing the Mushroom Kingdom to talk to Ganondorf.
Perhaps Samus, who wore so much armor, no one could tell that she was a girl. How about Captain Falcon? Ganondorf laughed at this. His pink and white armor color scheme made it hard to tell he was a man…
What about Link, the chief Hylian dork? Tights at age 17. The ten year old version of himself refused to wear them (and for good reason) so he just wore the "tunic" (greatly resembling a dress) with no tights. Drafty, it would seem. But they both had that HORRENDOUS green hat…
Ganondorf chuckled at the thought of Marth. Two words explained his problem: "Tiara Boy." But his buddy Roy… that kid had it all going for him… except he had what Ganondorf liked to call "hazardous hair." His hair was so spiky, it was a danger to those who got too close. Like, someone walks up to him, smiles, and says, "Hi Roy! How're you doin- AUGH! MY EYE!"
And, oh, the horror of matching outfits. Ganondorf wondered whether dressing like your sibling should be illegal… The Mario brothers, the Ice Climbers, ugh. He was all for independence. Especially… in your choice of clothing.
Dr. Mario, Fox, and Falco. He expected better of them. Wearing white after Labor Day… would the madness never cease?
Ah, Ness. Took one look at him and noticed something incredible. His clothes matched perfectly. Ganondorf knew there was NO WAY the kid could've picked that out himself, so… HIS MOMMY DID IT FOR HIM! Ganondorf grinned at this revelation.
And Zelda… Zelda appeared perfect. But of course, her lack of common sense got the better of her, and she was constantly dating Link. Or Marth. Whichever one she was least mad at. "What a ditz…" Ganondorf muttered. "At least I'm not that stu-"
WHAM!
So, while lost in his thoughts, Ganondorf was supposed to be battling Link, Young Link, and Zelda on Icicle Mountain.
And, of course, Icicle Mountain waits for no one.
~FIN~
So, didja like it? Didja hate it? I wanna know! Oh, and ideas for future chapters are welcome. Encouraged actually. Next chapter's in the works… need Marth and Roy fans/haters… so blah! RANDOM SQUIRREL! NOW GO REVIEW!
A different kind of fic by linzy8554, the ever insane person who would love to spend all her time chatting with friends on the Internet but doesn't really have the time. For that matter, she has no time at all. Too bad for her.
Rated PG to be safe. Warning: minor bashing for EVERY character. Major bashing for some.
Well, earlier I began to think (first time for everything) and… wait. I forgot what I had thought about. Typical. Anyway, here's the fic!
Disclaimer: I don't own nothing. Except for me. RANDOM SQUIRREL!
How this works: each chapter is a "What if…" kind of thing. In example, chapter one is "What if… Ganondorf was a fashion expert… in denial?" I take suggestions, and chapter 2 is already in the works. But I'll say more on that later. Just read and review!
What if… Ganondorf was a fashion expert… in denial?
…
"Team battle, one stock!!!" the announcer's voice rang over Icicle Mountain.
Ganondorf looked down at his clothes. "Red team…" he muttered, scanning the area for his opponents. "Link… green… Zelda… green… Young Link… green… WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH GREEN HYLIANS!? Not like they would be caught dead in blue or red…"
Then again, red was out of season. Why did HE have to be out of season? He always seemed too slow to catch up with fashion. Who really cared about fashion anyway… Not like anyone ever noticed his beautiful cape or shiny boots…
What was the deal with the boots, anyway? Plenty of the Smashers wore them… What purpose did they serve? Sure, they were useful on Icicle Mountain and Fountain of Dreams to keep his feet warm and dry, but wouldn't it have made a lot more sense to have a nice sporty pair of athletic shoes? Who came up with the wardrobe anyway? He struggled to decide which Smasher he pitied the most.
Was it Peach, whose identity changed with her outfit? She could be Peach, Daisy, or Nurse Peach- depending on what she was wearing. That had to be disturbing.
Or was it the nearly nude crew: Bowser, Kirby, the Pokémon, Mr. Game and Watch, DK, and Yoshi? He'd ask them if they were making a statement or something, but unfortunately, none of them could speak in complete sentences. Except for Bowser, who was too bent on capturing the Mushroom Kingdom to talk to Ganondorf.
Perhaps Samus, who wore so much armor, no one could tell that she was a girl. How about Captain Falcon? Ganondorf laughed at this. His pink and white armor color scheme made it hard to tell he was a man…
What about Link, the chief Hylian dork? Tights at age 17. The ten year old version of himself refused to wear them (and for good reason) so he just wore the "tunic" (greatly resembling a dress) with no tights. Drafty, it would seem. But they both had that HORRENDOUS green hat…
Ganondorf chuckled at the thought of Marth. Two words explained his problem: "Tiara Boy." But his buddy Roy… that kid had it all going for him… except he had what Ganondorf liked to call "hazardous hair." His hair was so spiky, it was a danger to those who got too close. Like, someone walks up to him, smiles, and says, "Hi Roy! How're you doin- AUGH! MY EYE!"
And, oh, the horror of matching outfits. Ganondorf wondered whether dressing like your sibling should be illegal… The Mario brothers, the Ice Climbers, ugh. He was all for independence. Especially… in your choice of clothing.
Dr. Mario, Fox, and Falco. He expected better of them. Wearing white after Labor Day… would the madness never cease?
Ah, Ness. Took one look at him and noticed something incredible. His clothes matched perfectly. Ganondorf knew there was NO WAY the kid could've picked that out himself, so… HIS MOMMY DID IT FOR HIM! Ganondorf grinned at this revelation.
And Zelda… Zelda appeared perfect. But of course, her lack of common sense got the better of her, and she was constantly dating Link. Or Marth. Whichever one she was least mad at. "What a ditz…" Ganondorf muttered. "At least I'm not that stu-"
WHAM!
So, while lost in his thoughts, Ganondorf was supposed to be battling Link, Young Link, and Zelda on Icicle Mountain.
And, of course, Icicle Mountain waits for no one.
~FIN~
So, didja like it? Didja hate it? I wanna know! Oh, and ideas for future chapters are welcome. Encouraged actually. Next chapter's in the works… need Marth and Roy fans/haters… so blah! RANDOM SQUIRREL! NOW GO REVIEW!
