A/N: Hey people, sorry, but I don't really feel like continuing the last
chapter. There was only one news story thing left anyway, and it was
pretty boring, so get over it. Instead, *scans reviews* I'll do this! I'm
gonna use Nano and Popa's idea to put Bowser inside the Barney suit...
enjoy! And many thanks to the Ice Climbers Nano and Popa! *applause*
Disclaimer: this is for standard purposes, because you all know I own nothing. Not even the plot... O.o I don't own SSBM, Barney, Yu-Gi-Oh, Austin Powers, or anything else. Except Pete the camera guy. But like I said, you know that.
What if... Bowser... was the actor in the Barney suit?
And the last time I saw Barney I was five years old, so bear with me. And I also realizesrealize everyone is extremely OOC. Too bad.
"Barney is a dinosaur from our imagination and when he's tall he's what we call a dinosaur sensation... (etc. etc. It's unbelievably hard to remember Barney songs while listening to Linkin Park.)
Backstage:
"So," said Bowser, ready to go onstage in a big purple suit, "what am I supposed to do again?"
"Easy," said the director, "just be lovable, don't hurt the kids (or the crew), and say the words 'imagination,' 'think,' and 'learn' a lot. Parents suck up to that."
"Yeah," said Bowser, "but...why am I doing this again?"
"Because," replied the director, "we are giving you..." he put his pinky to his lips (Dr. Evil-ish...how you describe that is WAY beyond me...), "one hundred BEELION DOLLARS!!! MWA HA HA HA HA! HA!"
"Um... whatever. But- "
"Too late! You're on!" the director cried, shoving Bowser onstage.
Bowser looked at his surroundings, thinking at least the Barney head was easy to see out of, before he realized... there was no Barney head. So, as all the cameras focused in on him, he motioned to a crew guy. And millions of preschoolers were terrified as they watched Barney have his head thrown to him from off screen. They became even more mortified when "Barney" put the head on... backwards. He twisted it around, however, and introduced the show.
"Previously on Yu-Gi-Oh... Yami killed Pegasus after an innocent duel went terribly wrong. Everyone disappeared, but Tristan and Téa were later found in a closet. And Joey and Mai were found a few days later, wondering who won and trying to kill each other at the same ti- " Bowser stopped as he saw the director frantically motioning to him.
"This... is... not.. Yu-Gi-Oh..." mouthed the director silently.
"Then why is it on the cue screen?" said Bowser loudly.
The director sighed. "There is no cue screen. That's just the author, stapling in her little Yu-Gi-Oh bit. I think we can edit that out... but just introduce 'Barney' if ya don't mind..."He
"Okay..." muttered Bowser, "Uh... welcome to Barney and friends! I'm... Barney, and these are my friends!"
Cue friends. Kirby, Young Link, and the Ice Climbers skipped onto the stage, arm in arm.
"All right," said Bowser, who didn't really know any of them, "how about you introduce yourselves? All the kids out there want to meet you..." he motioned to the camera.
"OKAY!" cried Young Link, running toward the camera, smacking into it, and falling flat on his back. It didn't faze him, however, and he jumped up. "HI MY NAME IS LINK AND I AM TEN YEARS OLD AND MATCHES ARE MY FRIENDS AND NAVI IS AFTER MY BRAIN AND A LOT OF GIRLS LIKE ME WHEN I'M OLDER AND SQUIRRELS ARE GOOD FOR YOUR CIRCULATORY SYSTEM AND- "
"OKAY!" said Bowser. "ENOUGH! Kirby, your turn."
"Hi!" cried Kirby as he ate Pete the camera guy.
"Kirby, that's not nice!" cried Bowser.
Kirby ate Young Link.
"Kirby! Stop!" cried Bowser.
Kirby ate the director.
"Now he's in for it..." muttered Bowser.
"STOP!" cried the director. (and how he can do that after he's been eaten is WAY beyond me...)
Kirby spit him and the others out.
"WOW THAT WAS COOL I JUST GOT EATEN BY... A PINK BLOB THAT'S LIKE A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE EXCEPT ONCE I WAS ATTACKED BY A HIPPO AND- "
"Kirby, you're fired!" cried the director.
"FIRE FIRE FIRE I LOVE FI- "
Young Link was silenced by a look from the director.
"Kirby's replacement will be here shortly. Meanwhile..." the director glanced at Bowser.
"Uh... right," said Bowser. "Nana, Popo, introduce yourselves."
"Hi my name is Nana and Popo is my best friend!"
"Hi my name is Popo and Nana is my best friend!"
"Well, there you go," said Bowser. "Now what?"
Nana raised her hand. "Usually we sing a song!"
"OK..." said Bowser, "let's... sing... a song then... about.." he looked around and saw a... "school."
"OOH! ME FIRST!" cried Young Link. He started singing.
"I HATE SCHOOL THEY HATE ME CAUSE I FLUNKED OUT OF CHEMISTRY THERE WAS A GREAT BIG BOOM AND SMOKE WAS EVERYWHERE I MIXED THE WRONG CHEMICALS AT THE SCIENCE FAIR!"
He stopped singing. "DIDJA LIKE IT? IT'S BASED ON A TRUE STORY THAT REALLY HAPPENED AND- "
Before Young Link could finish, however, the director walked onstage and introduced Kirby's replacement. He only spoke Latin, so Bowser was given a translation book and set loose.
"Uh..." said Bowser, "nice singing, Young Link. But now we have to introduce our friend here. What's your name, friend?"
"Mihi nomen est Ness. Quid facit puer?" he said, pointing to Young Link.
Bowser scrambled to find a translation in the book, cursing under his breath and mortifying some more preschoolers. "Quid facit...- what is... doing," he muttered, "and puer...- a/the boy...- so... what is the boy doing? Young Link is..." Bowser began to reply, as Young Link set a small bush on fire. Nana and Popo blew it out.
"Young Link is being weird," said Bowser.
"Sic," replied Ness.
"Well," said Bowser, "fortunately, this is all the time we have today. Maybe tomorrow we can make it inside the school..."
At that moment, a rogue tornado came through and swept away the school.
"YAY!" cried Young Link. "I CALLED THE TORNADO! BOW BEFORE ME MERE MORTALS! MWAHAHAHAHAHAH! HA!"
"Or not," said Bowser. "Now, remember..." he looked at the director. "Do I have to sing it?" he asked.
The director nodded.
Bowser sighed. "iloveyouyoulovemewereahappyfamilywithagreatbighugandakissfrommetoyouwontyou sayyoulovemetoo..." he grumbled.
"We love you, Barney!" cried Nana and Popo.
"J'aime tu!" cried Ness.
"I thought you spoke Latin..." said Bowser.
"I do," said Ness.
"Only Latin."
"I do. And I really like squirrels."
"..."
"BURN!" cried Young Link.
~fin~
yeah, it was short. Too bad for you. Now click that bluish purplish button and review! Or else I'll sic Young Link on ya! Either that or I'll drag someone outta YGO...
Disclaimer: this is for standard purposes, because you all know I own nothing. Not even the plot... O.o I don't own SSBM, Barney, Yu-Gi-Oh, Austin Powers, or anything else. Except Pete the camera guy. But like I said, you know that.
What if... Bowser... was the actor in the Barney suit?
And the last time I saw Barney I was five years old, so bear with me. And I also realizesrealize everyone is extremely OOC. Too bad.
"Barney is a dinosaur from our imagination and when he's tall he's what we call a dinosaur sensation... (etc. etc. It's unbelievably hard to remember Barney songs while listening to Linkin Park.)
Backstage:
"So," said Bowser, ready to go onstage in a big purple suit, "what am I supposed to do again?"
"Easy," said the director, "just be lovable, don't hurt the kids (or the crew), and say the words 'imagination,' 'think,' and 'learn' a lot. Parents suck up to that."
"Yeah," said Bowser, "but...why am I doing this again?"
"Because," replied the director, "we are giving you..." he put his pinky to his lips (Dr. Evil-ish...how you describe that is WAY beyond me...), "one hundred BEELION DOLLARS!!! MWA HA HA HA HA! HA!"
"Um... whatever. But- "
"Too late! You're on!" the director cried, shoving Bowser onstage.
Bowser looked at his surroundings, thinking at least the Barney head was easy to see out of, before he realized... there was no Barney head. So, as all the cameras focused in on him, he motioned to a crew guy. And millions of preschoolers were terrified as they watched Barney have his head thrown to him from off screen. They became even more mortified when "Barney" put the head on... backwards. He twisted it around, however, and introduced the show.
"Previously on Yu-Gi-Oh... Yami killed Pegasus after an innocent duel went terribly wrong. Everyone disappeared, but Tristan and Téa were later found in a closet. And Joey and Mai were found a few days later, wondering who won and trying to kill each other at the same ti- " Bowser stopped as he saw the director frantically motioning to him.
"This... is... not.. Yu-Gi-Oh..." mouthed the director silently.
"Then why is it on the cue screen?" said Bowser loudly.
The director sighed. "There is no cue screen. That's just the author, stapling in her little Yu-Gi-Oh bit. I think we can edit that out... but just introduce 'Barney' if ya don't mind..."He
"Okay..." muttered Bowser, "Uh... welcome to Barney and friends! I'm... Barney, and these are my friends!"
Cue friends. Kirby, Young Link, and the Ice Climbers skipped onto the stage, arm in arm.
"All right," said Bowser, who didn't really know any of them, "how about you introduce yourselves? All the kids out there want to meet you..." he motioned to the camera.
"OKAY!" cried Young Link, running toward the camera, smacking into it, and falling flat on his back. It didn't faze him, however, and he jumped up. "HI MY NAME IS LINK AND I AM TEN YEARS OLD AND MATCHES ARE MY FRIENDS AND NAVI IS AFTER MY BRAIN AND A LOT OF GIRLS LIKE ME WHEN I'M OLDER AND SQUIRRELS ARE GOOD FOR YOUR CIRCULATORY SYSTEM AND- "
"OKAY!" said Bowser. "ENOUGH! Kirby, your turn."
"Hi!" cried Kirby as he ate Pete the camera guy.
"Kirby, that's not nice!" cried Bowser.
Kirby ate Young Link.
"Kirby! Stop!" cried Bowser.
Kirby ate the director.
"Now he's in for it..." muttered Bowser.
"STOP!" cried the director. (and how he can do that after he's been eaten is WAY beyond me...)
Kirby spit him and the others out.
"WOW THAT WAS COOL I JUST GOT EATEN BY... A PINK BLOB THAT'S LIKE A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE EXCEPT ONCE I WAS ATTACKED BY A HIPPO AND- "
"Kirby, you're fired!" cried the director.
"FIRE FIRE FIRE I LOVE FI- "
Young Link was silenced by a look from the director.
"Kirby's replacement will be here shortly. Meanwhile..." the director glanced at Bowser.
"Uh... right," said Bowser. "Nana, Popo, introduce yourselves."
"Hi my name is Nana and Popo is my best friend!"
"Hi my name is Popo and Nana is my best friend!"
"Well, there you go," said Bowser. "Now what?"
Nana raised her hand. "Usually we sing a song!"
"OK..." said Bowser, "let's... sing... a song then... about.." he looked around and saw a... "school."
"OOH! ME FIRST!" cried Young Link. He started singing.
"I HATE SCHOOL THEY HATE ME CAUSE I FLUNKED OUT OF CHEMISTRY THERE WAS A GREAT BIG BOOM AND SMOKE WAS EVERYWHERE I MIXED THE WRONG CHEMICALS AT THE SCIENCE FAIR!"
He stopped singing. "DIDJA LIKE IT? IT'S BASED ON A TRUE STORY THAT REALLY HAPPENED AND- "
Before Young Link could finish, however, the director walked onstage and introduced Kirby's replacement. He only spoke Latin, so Bowser was given a translation book and set loose.
"Uh..." said Bowser, "nice singing, Young Link. But now we have to introduce our friend here. What's your name, friend?"
"Mihi nomen est Ness. Quid facit puer?" he said, pointing to Young Link.
Bowser scrambled to find a translation in the book, cursing under his breath and mortifying some more preschoolers. "Quid facit...- what is... doing," he muttered, "and puer...- a/the boy...- so... what is the boy doing? Young Link is..." Bowser began to reply, as Young Link set a small bush on fire. Nana and Popo blew it out.
"Young Link is being weird," said Bowser.
"Sic," replied Ness.
"Well," said Bowser, "fortunately, this is all the time we have today. Maybe tomorrow we can make it inside the school..."
At that moment, a rogue tornado came through and swept away the school.
"YAY!" cried Young Link. "I CALLED THE TORNADO! BOW BEFORE ME MERE MORTALS! MWAHAHAHAHAHAH! HA!"
"Or not," said Bowser. "Now, remember..." he looked at the director. "Do I have to sing it?" he asked.
The director nodded.
Bowser sighed. "iloveyouyoulovemewereahappyfamilywithagreatbighugandakissfrommetoyouwontyou sayyoulovemetoo..." he grumbled.
"We love you, Barney!" cried Nana and Popo.
"J'aime tu!" cried Ness.
"I thought you spoke Latin..." said Bowser.
"I do," said Ness.
"Only Latin."
"I do. And I really like squirrels."
"..."
"BURN!" cried Young Link.
~fin~
yeah, it was short. Too bad for you. Now click that bluish purplish button and review! Or else I'll sic Young Link on ya! Either that or I'll drag someone outta YGO...
