Hey all. I finally got some time to type this up cuz I'm home sick and all that. So, um, read and review.

Disclaimer: Like a disclaimer in all the other chapters wasn't enough... I don't own SSBM. Or anything else. Get over it.

Chapter 7- What if... Fox... was a Mary Sue/ all-powerful authoress/ whatever else you can think of/ etc.

Fox was ready. One on one, vs. Ness.

The kid was going down.

So it started. The battle was going well; they were playing on the Great Fox, flying over Corneria... all too familiar to Fox. Punches were being thrown from both sides, then Fox performed an Elaborately Complicated Combo (A/N: Kids, don't try this at home. It involves the Q button, which doesn't exist...) and sent Ness flying. Fox was so proud of himself... BOOM!

And Ness came up behind him, Bob-bomb in hand.

***

Fox next awoke to a white ceiling. He was lying in a hospital bed and everyone was standing over him.

Unfortunately, he wasn't entirely sure who "everyone" was.

"Amnesia," said Dr. Mario to some other doctor guy standing around. "It will wear off soon- ah, he's awake."

Fox, of course, understood nothing. "I'm PRETTY!" he cried, running out the door.

Unfortunately again, Pete the camera guy grabbed him before he ran off the set. Poor Pete, always putting up with overactors...

Pete nodded in agreement.

ANYWAY!

Fox apparently made it back into the room. Bowser, Ganondorf, and Zelda moved to guard the door because Bowser and G-dorf kick butt, and because I think Zelda knows more magic than she lets on to.

Link then used his hookshot to tie Fox to a chair.

"MY HAIR!" cried Fox, "YOU'RE MESSING IT UP!"

Link was greatly afraid.

Fox used his super-metal-melting-powers (tm) to melt Link's hookshot to nothing. Except a puddle of Hookshot Goo (tm).

Most of the Smashers gasped. Fox smiled charismatically. Dr. Mario smiled evilly, suddenly realizing Fox could be his big break in the GLORIOUS WORLD OF SCIENCE!!! (tm)

And Link fainted because Fox had melted his hookshot.

"Fox!" cried Dr. Mario, "you have super powers!"

"Fox?" said Fox, "Who is Fox? I am- "

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" cried the Smashers.

Pete the camera guy sighed. "Wait for it, people..."

" -MARY SUE!" finished Fox.

All the Smashers ran for their lives. The door guards were the first to escape. Unfortunately, most of the other Smashers either tripped over Link, who was still unconscious on the floor, or they stepped in Link's melted hookshot and were stuck to the floor. Those who tripped got up and ran dizzily for their lives.

Dr. Mario stayed very calm and still throughout all of this. "So... uh... Mary Sue..." he began, "what are some of your other powers?"

"Well..." began Fox... uh, Mary Sue... "I can shoot fire from my fingertips, I can levitate things, I can fly, I can make protagonists fall hopelessly in love with me, I can..."

"Okay, that's enough," said Dr. Mario.

Fox wasn't finished though. "...skateboard, I can bellydance, I can shop, I'm HOPELESSLY beautiful, I'm a supergenius, I can..."

"SHUT UP!" yelled Dr. Mario.

Wow, that was a mistake.

Dr. Mario was... um... well, there was a big flash of light and suddenly, Dr. Mario was not a part of the plot anymore.

The other doctor guy, who was actually Frodo Baggins in disguise, ran for his life.

Fox caught him before he reached the door.

"Alright," he said, "Remember, none of this ever happened. I don't want fans outside my door at all hours!"

Frodo nodded and ran.

Link slowly sat up. "Ow..." he muttered, "I think I hit my head on something."

Fox looked over at Link.

(A/N: Okay, you know how in anime, the girls have a habit of getting hearts in their eyes and going into a dream-sequence type thing? Where they have a habit of marrying them at the end... *pauses, remembers Pokemon* Not just the girls either... ANYHOW, back to the fic)

So Fox looked at Link with those anime-heart-eyes.

Link, by now, was very freaked out. First Fox had melted his hookshot, and now Fox had that look in his eyes... the same one all the fangirls got when they saw him...

This was just not a good situation.

"Hello, Link," Fox said sweetly, "You're looking very handsome today."

Link's eyes widened.

"You know, we don't see each other much anymore... Why is that?" Fox continued.

"Uh... uh..."

Fox giggled. "Are you speechless? Yeah, my beauty does that to guys a lot." He got right up to Link's face. "But none of the guys are as cute as you." Fox moved to kiss him. Link screamed, ducked, and ran to the door, which was locked. He climbed up onto a table.

"Uh, Fox, can't we talk this over or something?"

"Call me Mary Sue."

"Okay, um, Mary Sue, no offense, but I'm not like *that*."

"Like what?"

"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!"

"No I don't! I'm just a poor orphan girl who fought her way through a life on the street and is now rich and famous!" cried Fox. "And I meet a lot of hot guys."

Link smacked his forehead. "Fox! You're a guy!" Link paused. "I think that might be the strangest sentence I've ever said."

Fox looked up at Link, tears in his eyes. "I can't believe you just said that to me!"

"Neither can I," replied Link, meaning it literally.

"I have to fight you now," said Fox, pulling out his blaster, which he had decorated with lots of flowers and pink ribbons.

Link drew his sword, and the two began to fight. This of course, caused the SSBM announcer guy to stop whatever he was doing- in this case, performing a tonsillectomy- and announce the battle. So that's what he did.

"One stock battle- Link vs. Fox. Start the melee!" he cried, then ran off because his patient was getting annoyed.

And so, they fought.

Fox fired at Link, who dodged the shot, turned around, and slammed the hilt of his sword on Fox's head, effectively ending the match.

The announcer guy ran back in, annoyed that they didn't fight for longer. "End battle, Link wins, blah blah." He ran out.

After a few minutes, Fox began to wake up. Link had knocked him out with one hit- and boy, did Fox's head hurt.

Fox picked up his blaster. "Is this... mine?" he wondered aloud. "It's. pink."

Link laughed. "So... you're awake. And yes, that is your blaster."

"WHO DID THIS TO MY BLASTER?! They have taken its pride, its respect! And worst of all... they installed a STUN SETTING!" Fox sobbed. "I always leave it on instant KO! They got rid of my flamethrower option too!"

"Glad to see you're back to normal." Link smiled and walked out the door.

~fin~

A/N: What's so wacky is yesterday I watched one of the Muppet movies... the one where they're in Manhattan or something. And Kermit had amnesia...

So um, read and review! And chapter 8 is coming! And continue to sign up for the thing from chapter 7! I'll need more of that, so that'll be chapter nine... And these numbers are making my head hurt, so R&R!!!