Mwah! Chapter 8! And it's a sequel to Budget Cuts!
A/N: Yeah, I know, it totally shouldn't have taken this long for me to get this chapter out. I had like 4 different ideas... this one only actually took like a weekend to write. *sigh* Anyway, R&R! Oh, and my apologies in advance for taking a long time with the next chapter. My classes this year are so evil. I can't believe we're already back in school...
Disclaimer: Must I fool myself with false illusions that I, an obsessive teenage fangirl owns SSBM? I didn't think so.
What if... Marth and Roy... STILL... had a cooking show?
"Roy! Roy!" cried Marth, bursting in.
"What?" said Roy, who was sitting in his living room reading the paper. He wondered briefly how Marth had gotten into his house. He'd changed the locks after that cooking show fiasco...
"They want us back!" Marth motioned frantically to what appeared to Roy to be a wall.
Roy wondered if Bowser had landed on Marth's head again. He then voiced those concerns.
Marth glared at him. "The cooking show, Roy."
Roy's eyes widened. "You're not serious."
"Of course I am, Roy. They want us to make PB&J, just like you said."
"But... but..."
"Come on!" Marth dragged Roy down the street towards the studio.
"But... but... Marth, can I at least change first?" Roy motioned to his clothes: a pair of pink flannel pajama pants with little yellow rubber duckies on them and a black t-shirt that read, "I hate everything about you." (A/N: 3 Days Grace! Yay!) He was also wearing no shoes.
"You look fine," said Marth, surpressing a laugh.
"I do not!" retorted Roy. "You and Link borrowed all my clothes! All I had left was this t-shirt! I had to borrow the pants from Zel!" He paused. "She told me they were Link's."
"That's a relief, that those aren't your pants."
"Yeah, well, it was either this or kittens."
"Because pink is TOTALLY not your color. I mean, it clashes horribly with your hair."
Roy had no comment.
* * *
"Welcome..." muttered Roy.
"TO MARTH AND ROY DEAD!!!" cried Marth extravagantly. Fireworks shot off in the background.
"Where did we get money for pyrotechnics?"
"Sold the cow."
"Ah."
"Anyway..." said Marth, turning to the camera, "today we'll be making..."
"...peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!" finished Roy.
"Author style!" added Marth.
Roy's eyes widened. "What?"
Marth shrugged. "She told me to. She taught me how it's done... those sandwiches were the best..."
"Fine," said Roy. "Just tell me what we'll need."
"For one sandwich..." said Marth, "Two slices... OF BREAD!" He started waving his arms around.
Roy got the bread from the cabinet and put it on the counter. He turned back to Marth and was immensely freaked out to see two guys dressed like slices of bread wandering onto the stage. "Marth... you are never managing the budget again."
"Also..." Marth continued, apparently not noticing/caring about Roy's comment. "JELLY!" This time he began dancing around like a psychotic fish was after him. (A/N: That happened to my brother at the beach, so I know well what it looks like. O.o)
Roy raised an eyebrow, but he grabbed the jelly all the same. He turned back to Marth and noticed a guy who appeared to be soaking wet. He looked closer... "Link!?"
"I'm jelly!" cried Link to the camera. He turned to Roy. "It was the coolest thing ever, Roy! They dunked me in a vat of grape goodness... By the way, nice pants."
"They're yours."
"And we need PEANUT BUTTER!" cried Marth with flourish.
Roy got the peanut butter and set it on the counter. He turned to see a guy dressed like a jar of peanut butter who couldn't fit through the door of the studio. Roy sighed.
"TWO SPOONS!"
Roy got the spoons and noticed two girls dressed like spoons trying to shove the peanut butter guy through the door. Link ran over to help, and Roy watched as the jelly on his shoes caused him to slip, slide across the floor, and smack into the peanut butter guy, sending everyone flying out the door. A moan was heard outside.
"AND... a coffee mug," finished Marth. He turned around and waved at a piece of bread guy.
"A coffee mug...?" Roy muttered to himself. He got it off a shelf, however, and set it on the counter.
Suddenly, Roy heard a large crash. Roy looked in the direction of the distraction and noted a giant coffee mug had just crashed through the wall. Link was driving and the spoon girls were giggling in the back. The peanut butter guy ambled in the through the huge hole.
Link smiled, pleased with himself for just having caused thousands of dollars in property damage and also for managing to score two girls (even if they were spoons) in the back of a coffee mug car (a convertible). He hit the gas and they sped toward the stage. "I got covered in jelly, hooked up with two girls/spoons, and am currently driving a coffee mug that I crashed through a wall," Link thought. "Why not get on TV too?"
"Jelly!" called Marth, "There are no brakes!"
"Jelly?" thought Link, "Oh. Me." He blinked. "THERE ARE NO BRAKES?!"
The coffee mug sped onto the stage and spun out, taking out half the counter (but no ingredients or hosts) and one of the guys dressed like a slice of bread before crashing through the opposite wall and hitting a random squirrel. The squirrel was grateful and transformed the bread guy back to a human, and the spoon-girls back to regular girls, and the clock and the candlestick back to the butler and the fat guy, and the featherduster back to the maid/butler's girlfriend chick, and the footstool back to the yappy dog, and the dresser back to- "
Wait. That's "Beauty and the Beast." Never mind.
Instead of a random squirrel, the mug hit a tree. An arm reached down from the branches and scooped the mug and its occupants up.
There was silence.
Roy blinked and shrugged. He turned back to Marth, who had already put a spoonful each of peanut butter and jelly into the mug and was licking the peanut butter spoon. The other bread guy was hiding. Somewhere.
Marth then began to violently stir the PB&J in the mug. Roy jumped back. When it was mixed together enough, Marth stopped and fell over. Roy cautiously leaned over and looked into the coffee mug.
"Marth?"
"Yeah?" replied Marth from the floor.
"This looks like crap."
"...Well, your pants are pink."
"Shut up." Roy kicked him.
"Ow."
"Do you intend to get up?"
"Not really."
"Then what do I do?"
"Just glob some of that on the bread, stack the sandwich, get a glass of milk, and enjoy."
"But Marth..."
"And let me lick the spoon when you're done."
Roy sighed and did what Marth said. So far, he'd made it past the "glass of milk" part. But come on, that goop looked like something from Fear Factor! Or Super Mario Sunshine!
Roy closed his eyes and took a bite.
There was silence.
"Marth?"
"Yeah?"
"That tasted like heaven." Roy then fell over.
"Yup. So, uh join us next time on Marth and Roy Dead."
The coffee mug crashed through another wall, chased by the arm with the propeller on wheels.
~fin~
A/N: Don't ask about the arm with the propeller on wheels. *grin* That was so fun. NOW REVIEW!
