TidBits- ::Eyes widen considerably:: GASP!!! I'M LOVED!!! ::Huggles all reviewers:: OOOHH!!! YOU ALL GET COOKIES AND APPLESAUCE!!! YAY!!!
Disclaimer- Heh…I laugh in your silly little face, you funny lawyer who thinks that I own YuGiOh! …No, really, I don't. No, I'm serious! GET THESE HANDCUFFS OFF ME!!!
Responses for the Loved Ones because they are so very lovable-
Rhelle- I couldn't help it…I had to have Bakura sugar-high!! IT'S IN HIS BLOOD!! Dude, I love you stories!! They rock!! 'Angel' and an 'Egyptian Winter' are my favorites!!
USA Tiger- Aww!! Thank you!! Loler, your story 'Don't Touch the Braid' was so funny!! Did your friend really dream that? LOLER!! That's funny!
Chibi Summoner Diamond Weapon- Whew, long name! Loler, thankies for the review!! Your 'Fairy Tales etc.' is so funny!!
Cloak*and*Dagger/Aisha Outlaw- Aww!! THANK YOU!! OMG!! I LOVE YOUR STORY 'BOUND BY OUR SIMPLE MISTAKES'!! YOU MUST UPDATE IT!!! I LOVE IT!!!! Thank you for putting my on your favorites!! I'm honored!! I love your stories so much!!! YOU ROCK!! ADMIT ITTTTTT!!!!!! BWAHAHA!!! Still, NO SUGAR IN HEAVEN?! AHH!!!! I WANNA GO TO HELL!!!
SkyeDawn- Yeah, thanks mom…. ((She's my mom who wasn't really supposed to read this story, let alone review it. Grr.)) Oh well! ::Huggies mom::
XXDracosGirlXX- Thankies Shin!! I love your story, you poophead!! ((She's my friend, so I can swear at her and call her mean names! ^_^ ::ducks flying vegetables from Shin::))
Pandora- Aww, your so sweet!! ^_^ Thankies!! HUGGIES!!
Elusitania- I love your fics 'Undecided Destiny' and 'Nothing to Live For'! Thankies for the review!! ^___^ Glad you like the story! You have to update your stories!! They rock!!
Woodelf193- ^__^ Thankies very much for the review!! Loler, your writing is so funny (('The Ultimate YGO Mary Sue'))!! You have to write more for that fic!!I LOVE YOU ALL, YOU SWEET REVIEWERS!! HUGS AND COOKIES AND APPLESAUCE FOR ALL OF YOU!!!
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A/N This chapter is in Bakura's POV since Ryou is sorta…unconscious at the moment.
(grr, I am demon spawn!!) = Bakura annoying you with his freakish thoughts during the chapter.
Chaptah Two- Shadow Powers vs. the Stove
Aww, he's so cute when he's asleep! Hehe, I got this urge to pop that little snoot bubble coming out his nose, but it makes him look even cuter!! Grr…must…resist…urge…to …pop… NO!! NO HAND!! BACK!! STAY BACK!! DON'T POP THE CUTE—Opps. Oh well, no more Ultra-Cute snot bubble. Hehe…it made a funny popping noise when it broke though…whoa, note to self: Lay off the Heavenly white sand called 'Shoogar.' Sighing, I looked out the window at the sun to check the time. "Silly Hikari…been asleep for way to long for his own good." Frowning, I tried poking him.
Again.
And again.
Poke…poke…hehe, funny word.
……
Nope.
Didn't work.
Maybe if I kiss him…NO!! Must keep bad thoughts away from mind!! Think stupid damn Pharaoh in a loincloth singing bad Egyptian rock songs while making out with his beloved Dark Magician.
I shudder.
That vision was NOT worth the trying to put away beautiful images of my dear Hikari…Standing, I glare down at him. "You hear that, Hikari?! YOU'RE DISTRACTING MY MENTAL STATE OF MIND!!"
He just rolls over.
Damn him. He just HAS to be so beautiful…and innocent…and soft…and cuddly…yeah…with those ultra-cute brown eyes…shaking my head, I rid the thoughts from my mind…for now. Because right now….
I WAS GOING TO MAKE BREAKFAST FOR MY CUDDLY LITTLE LIGHT!! GOOOO BAKURA!! "I'm so romantic," I sigh, and clasp my hands together. "One day we'll be married and have a home and I'll love him forever and ever and ever and…BREAKFAST!!!" Ryou stirred at the outburst. "Eep!! No! Shh, go back to sleep Little Ryou!" Ryou just rolled over, and began to yawn. NO! He couldn't wake up before I made breakfast! He'd ruin the surprise! "DAMNIT RYOU, GO BACK TO FUCKING SLEEP!!"
All I got was some incoherent words in response, and a slight snore.
Good…BWAHAHA!! Oh, that felt so good to laugh evilly. I was about to laugh a bit louder out loud instead of in my head, when I clasped my hand over my mouth, and stopped. "Don't want to wake the sweet little angel!" And with that, I frolicked towards the cooking area.
Until it struck me.
No, not the low-hanging pan that I had just ran into, but the fact that I never really cooked anything in this era. AND I SURE AS HELL DON'T KNOW, NOR DO I WANT TO KNOW, WHAT IN RA'S NAME THAT BIG THING-BOX IS.
It's watching me…Diving behind the counter, I scan the area for traps.
The big box just stood there. It was trying to lure me out of hiding…watching…always watching…Wait a Ra Damned minute here-
I HAVE SUPER POWERS!! WHEE!! "Gods, I really am insane…" I leapt onto the counter, slightly disappointed that Ryou wasn't awake so he could see that cool jump thingie, and whipped out the Millennium Ring. (Yeah, I kinda swiped it off the Cuddly Angel when he was sleeping…) Smirking that ultra cool, sadistic Hello-I'm-Going-To-Slowly-Devour-Your-Essence smirk that I love so much, I pointed the points of the Ring toward one of the knobs on the Box deciding to slowly torture this thing that dared mock me. "BWAH! Now die!" And I blasted one of the knobs off the box. Unfortunately, it refused to cry out in pain. "Grr, you dare defy me?!" Making a daring leap across the remainder of the kitchen, I slammed a fist on the top of the box. There was a slight moment of shock before…"AAAIIIIEEEE!!!!!"
Damn it, that was HOT!! Apparently, the knob must've triggered some sort of defense-mechanism thing-a-ma-bobber. "Ow, ow, owowoww!!" DEAR RA, WHERE'S THE WATER?! WHAT KIND OF RA DAMNED HELL HOLE IS THIS?!? "HOW DARE YOU DEFY MY SUPERIOR POWER?! YOU DARE BURN ME? YOU SHALL PAY!!"
Or at least it would've paid…yes very dearly…for delaying Ryou breakfast, if Ryou hadn't decided to come in at that moment. His eyes kinda got really big when he saw me trying to impale the metal box on a nearby spatula. I was about to point out to him that he was really cute when his eyes got that big, but he sorta started to yell at me.
"YAMI!!! OFF THE STOVE!! GET OFF!! OFF!!! NOW!!!"
Off…stove?
Oh.
Heh…opps…hey, wait, he was supposed to be asleep so I could make him a surprise breakfast…which I'm SURE would've tasted delicious if he hadn't woken up and RUINED it. "RYOU, GET YOUR SORRY, AND YET VERY CUTE, ASS BACK ON THAT COUCH AND GO TO SLEEP!"
I had to resist glomping Ryou at the utterly adorable little blush he was getting. "Hey, I was yelling at you first…"
"OUT! NOW!!"
"Not until you get off the stove!!" What was this? A challenge? Narrowing my eyes, I did that delicious smirk of mine perfectly. "Heh…heh…uh…Yami…?" Ryou stuttered, slowly backing away. Without warning, I lunged off the counter straight at Ryou.
"EEP!!" And he took off running.
"GET BACK HERE HIKARI!! NO ONE CHALLENGES THE LIKES OF ME AND WINS!!" I ran into the living room just in time to see him duck behind the couch. With a triumphant yell, I dove behind there as well.
Whoa…must remember in the future that Hikari plus Anonymous-Frying-Pan-That-He-Grabbed-From-Nowhere equals DOOM!! DOOM I SAY!! Rubbing the sore spot on my head where I had recently been viciously attacked by a Flying Frying Pan, I chased after Ryou, who had taken to retreating up the stairs rather quickly. Devising a plan of action, I tiptoed up the stairs, and wedged myself behind the corner before the staircase, waiting for my prey. After about fifteen minutes, my hikari came down the hallway, obviously wondering where my sneaky little self was…hehe…stupid, oblivious, cute little hikari…
"BWAH!!" I shout at the top of my lungs, watching him jump in fright. Launching myself at him, I tackle him to the ground, and mercilessly tickle him until he gives up. "How many times must you be reminded not to challenge the likes of me?"
He scrunched up his nose in that cute little habit of his. "Until I beat you, of course." I rolled my eyes, and got up off him, noting the second blush that had spread across his face today with mirth…very sadistic mirth, mind you. I help him up, or more like scoop him up in my arms, and leapt down the flight of stairs in one go, much to my hikari's terror, who was now white-faced and gripping both of my arms like his life depended on it…which it sort of did, if it were to lose my footing and accidentally drop him on his fluffy little head. But I, the great and romantic Bakura, would never let that happen to MY Ryou. "Uh, Y-Yami…c-can you pu-put me down no-now? I think I-I'm going to barf…"
"Ew, Ryou!"
"Not my fault! You're the one who had to jump down the stairs in one 'manly' swoop!"
"Not my fault you're a girl."
"Am not!"
"Admit it."
"I'll barf on you! I will!"
Measuring the choices, having pride and being barfed on, or not getting barfed on…Yeah, I chose the latter, and drop him down on the couch, ignoring the fact that he's mocking me right now…I can beat your head in, you stupid, dumb, girly, cute, fluffy hikari! Trying to avert the attention from my loss of pride to that of breakfast. "So since you RUINED your surprise breakfast, why don't you make your ungrateful little self your OWN breakfast."
His eyes got all big and watery…"Oh, Yamiiiii, you were going to make me a surprise breakfast?" Out of nowhere, he squeezes me in what most possibly the biggest bear hug in human history. "OOOOHHHHH, THANK YOU YAMI!!!" Turning more crimson by the minute (NO!! MUST NOT BLUSH!! NOT YAMI-LIKE!! SUGAR WORE OFF HOURS AGO!! GO AWAY BLUSH!! OFF WITH YOU!!) Aww, look, he's nuzzling his head against me…for fear that if I turned any redder I might explode, I gently pick him up, and toss him on the couch across from mine (yes, MINE. I have now dubbed this couch my own. And Ryou better not try and get it back with those puppy dog eyes…) "Uh, Yami…since we kinda don't really have a stove right now, and I'm quite afraid of going in the kitchen to see what ELSE you did in there…let's buy some breakfast!"
You can BUY pre-made breakfast? What a lazy time era this is… "Where do you buy breakfast?" A smile that could almost resemble mine (except mine is cooler…heh…) spread across his face. "FarDucks!" [1] Far…Ducks? What the hell was a far duck? Before I could ponder this information that had a dire need for pondering, Ryou had grabbed me by the hand, and dragged me outside. "Oh, this'll be so fun! We'll take a bus to get there…"
Wait, bus? What the fuck?! I still don't even know what a far duck is! "Wait, Ryou…" But I don't think he was listening. We apparently arrived at some sort of waiting spot, for Ryou had sat me down on one of the benches, and was starting to lecture me about something. "…and no killing people, no attacking anonymous things for no reason, no killing people, no stealing things, no killing people, and no trying to gnaw on things. Oh, and no killing people." I just nodded. (I have no idea what he's saying…yep, you just keep on talking, I'll keep on nodding…oh, a birdie! Hehe, dinner…) "Yami? YAMI!! You got that?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah, of course." Ryou rubbed his temples like his was frustrated. Who wouldn't be? I mean, I never really knew anyone who could lecture me for so long…maybe it's because I killed them all before they could finish. What was it Ryou said about killing people? Damn, he said it more than once, too…oh well, couldn't have been that important. "Alright Yami, here's the bus…" Suddenly, Ryou stepping into this giant…metal thing…on wheels…(Wheels…damn it, why didn't the Pharaoh just roll his ass on wheels? No, we had to carry him…) Wait, Ryou walking into giant thing that looks almost half as dangerous as me equals certain doom. "RYOU!" I tackled him, grabbing him around the middle just as he hands some sort of money to the man inside the animal. Turning around to the man, I snarl at him viciously. "How dare you try and get innocent people to pay to be eaten by this monstrosity?? Wait, scratch that, I don't really give a damn about most people, just Ryou. WHICH MAKES IT EVEN WORSE THAT YOU TRIED TO EAT HIM, YOU STUPID RA DAMNED THING!!" Kicking the metal thing, I almost barley heard Ryou over the rant I was making…until he yanked my hair so it was face-to-face with his. "Yami…this is called a bus. It TAKES people places. It doesn't eat people." I raised a skeptical eyebrow, but set Ryou down anyway. He practically dragged me to the back of this 'bus' and sat us down on a seat. The bus' door closed, and it began to…move?!
"RYOU!!" I grabbed his shoulder, and was about to jump out the window with him, when he began explaining things to me. "Ah, so they steal people's souls and use that power to make this thing move? YES! I knew it! Stealing souls ISN'T ILLEGAL!!" I could've kissed Ra himself! "Uh, Yami, they don't steal people's souls…they just use technology…like the TV."
"WHAT IS THIS CURSED TECHNOLOGY?!" A very annoying little man to the left of us turned around. "Why, technology is the power that allows operations such as the biologically enhanced pollution-free car, the genetically altered computer, and it allows us swift access to being able to talk to people without having to get up off our lazy butts!" My eye began twitching. "Ryou. I hate this era." Ryou patted my back. "Yes, I know Yami, it's ok…" Sighing, I leaned back into the rather uncomfortable seat, and looked around at the other inhabitants of this 'bus.' People seemed to be staring at me oddly…I bare my fangs and growl at them, and they quickly snap their heads forward. Smirking, I checked to make sure Ryou hadn't seen that.
There was this lady right in front of us who had the freakiest hat I had ever seen. I reached forward to poke it, but Ryou slapped my hand back. Pouting, I sat back down, and sent glares to the stupid hat. It was a really stupid hat too…It had this scary little feather stuck on the top of it, and was…pink.
Pink.
I hate pink. So now I hate the hat. And if I hate the hat, then I must, therefore, hate this lady. And if I hate the lady, then no one could blame me for stealing this lady's soul. Plus, I needed to warm up if I was going to protect Ryou. …And I was bored, so every works out!
My logic is SO cool. Seeing that Ryou was occupied with looking out the window, I bent forward slightly, and grabbed the feather atop the stupid pink hat. I yanked it off the top of the hat, and was about to try and strangle the lady with it when she turned around. She blinked at me, and smiled. I shuddered…that was a really freaky smile…she was supposed to be MAD, so that after I kill her, I could tell Ryou it was self-defense!
"Aww, aren't you so cute! You look just like wittle RYOU!"
I twitched. Ryou turned around at the mention of his name. Is it just me, or did Ryou's face just get a little paler? "H-Hi, Anzu."
"Ryou, is this your twin? I think he's taking a liking to my hat…if he wanted to have the feather, all he had to do was ask! Friends don't let their friends take things from their other friends! It isn't very nice at all! NOT VERY FRIENDLY!" Amazingly, the thing was still smiling. Her voice was really starting to annoy me…I grabbed her neck, and began shouting really loud. "WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP?! NO ONE GIVES A DAMN ABOUT YOUR STUPID FRIENDSHIP SPEECHES!" A few people who must've known this 'Anzu' stood up and began clapping, but I glared at them, and they shut up. I turned back to my prey only to find that she was still smiling.
"Aww! All you need is a friend!" She began nuzzling against my hand. "ARGH!! GET IT OFF ME!!" I threw it away from me, and she landed in the aisle. Too preoccupied with wiping the cooties off my hand, I didn't notice the freak climb over my seat, and over towards Ryou until it was too late. "Ack! YAMI!! HELP! Cant…breath…" Anzu was hugging him to death while saying something about friendship and how friends are friendfully friendly with friends…friends…friends… "AUGH!! SHUT UP!!" I leaned over, and used my elbow to punch the window open, and threw Anzu out the window.
A few people got up and clapped, while others started bowing and calling me their Savior…yeah…Thankfully the so-called 'bus' stopped, and Ryou decided it would be safer if we got off. As the bus rode off, a few grateful people began throwing roses at me. It kinda weirded me out…I gave one to Ryou, and he started babbling about how nice I was. Cool, I can be romantic and not even know it!! I am so cool…
We arrived at the door of 'FarDucks' and walked in. I was greeted a very foul smelling concoction, and many machines moving around. They seemed to be grinding something. I tried to stick my hand in, but Ryou got all freaked out, and told me to sit in the chair and wait. While he was up talking to the dude who lives behind the desk, and began to wonder if it was even humanly possible for one to sit in a chair. How does he expect me to do that?! I can't actually get INSIDE the chair! I was about to rip open the chair, and sit in its fluffy (though not as fluffy as Ryou) remains, when I noticed something. Ryou seemed to still be talking to the dude that lives behind the desk.
STILL.
That isn't good. The dude is flirting with MY hikari?! He. Will. Die. I storm over, and tower behind Ryou for a moment, not realizing that nobody has noticed my presence. I clear my throat, and Ryou turns around, "Hey Yami! Food's almost ready!" My eye twitched. "Uh, you ok Yami?" I repress the urge to bash my head against something. I present the incredibly naïve hikari! Can he not see the way that guy is looking at him?! I stand in front of my Ryou protectively, and glare at the man. "You." I growl menacingly. "Why are you looking at Ryou?" The man smirks. "I have a name, you know; it's Tom. And why wouldn't I be looking at Ryou?" My eye twitches again. "Because I never said you COULD." The man just laughs, while I suppress the urge to kill this man on the spot (only because Ryou would get mad at me, which would make me sad.) While I was having a mental conflict with myself on whether or not to kill him, the guy had leaned forward, and taken Ryou's hand. "So, you busy later?"
Yep. Decision made.
Kill.
Now.
Let's just say if looks could kill, 'Tom' would be six feet under by now.
[1]= Yeah…it's kinda a really stupid playoff of Starbucks…couldn't have any anonymous lawyers coming to get now, could we? Heh…
TidBits- Yeah, that was a wee bit shorter than the last one, huh? …Or is longer? Well, if I weren't so lazy I'd go and check. But I am lazy. And I want to have the last Easter egg, so I must run quickly away now….FAREWELL, YOU OH-SO-LOVABLE READERS!! ^__^
Happy Easter and Passover!!
