Disclaimer: Y'know what? Hang the disclaimer. Everybody knows I don't own Star Trek or Xanth, right? Right. So from now on, I'm only writing disclaimers any time I have a truly brilliant idea for one.
CHAPTER 3: In Which Something Very Interesting Develops
Captain's Log, Supplemental: We decided to hold with Spock's theory for the moment, that all odd and inexplicable things we saw were accounted to a force we were unfamiliar with. And we were fated to see more than enough odd and inexplicable things before we got back to the Enterprise. But at this point, we were just starting to feel we had a slight grasp on the situation. And then something very interesting developed, which would affect the rest of our time in Xanth.
Consulting done, they broke up the group and moved back to the native girl, who had picked a chocolate cream pie in the meantime.
"It occurs to me we don't know each other's names," Kirk said. Charmingly, of course.
"I'm Sandra," the girl introduced herself. "I live over in North Village, a fifteen-minute walk that way," she added, indicating the right.
Introductions from the landing party went around, and then business turned towards seeing what else they could find out.
"So these pie trees, are there a lot of them in Xanth?" Kirk asked.
"Thousands," Sandra confirmed. "They're one of the most useful plants in Xanth, actually, so we're lucky they're as frequent as they are."
"Interesting that sensors did not pick up any suggestions of them. Such a planet would be worthy of attention," Spock mused.
"Sensors?" Sandra questioned.
"Sensors are…" And there Kirk got stuck at the problem of explaining sensors to someone obviously lacking any technological expertise. He got more stuck at Sandra's next and entirely unexpected statement.
Sandra apparently found it necessary to explain her interest. "I was just wondering, because I'm a Sensor. I sense magical talents."
The confusion, which had nearly faded out, thickened considerably, though it was now streaked through with wisps of curiosity, one or two wisps of which had taken residence above Spock. Apparently exhibiting curiosity is acceptable.
"Would you please define the nature of magical talents?' Spock requested.
"Sure. You're from Mundania, so you can't be expected to know much of anything," Sandra said pleasantly.
Another exchange of looks went around, between Jones and Simmons and between Kirk, Spock, and McCoy (eight looks total) and Kirk, Spock and McCoy decided it wouldn't be the best of ideas to take offense, and when they didn't Jones and Simmons of course couldn't. Sandra, mostly oblivious to the looks flying around her, went on.
"Every human and most human crossbreeds have magical talents. Each person can do one type of magic. King Dor can talk to the inanimate, for example."
"Neat!" was Jones' conclusion. If things warned you before you stepped on them, you'd never trip over them.
Sandra nodded agreement. "That's a big talent though, Magician caliber. That's why he's King. At the other end are Spot-on-the-wall talents. Some people literally have the talent of making a spot appear on the wall. The term just means any talent that's really minor, and pretty much useless. Most people, like me, have a talent in between. My talent is sensing what other people's talents are."
"Fascinating," Spock commented.
"Actually, it nearly is," McCoy agreed.
Jones had a question. "You said all humans in Xanth have a talent?" Sandra nodded a confirmation. "Well…since we're in Xanth, do we have talents?"
Surprisingly, this had not occurred to the higher-billed characters. It was one of Jones more impressive moments.
"That could be interesting," Kirk mused. And, going by Spock's theory, there might be actual ramifications. He didn't believe for a minute that the talents were magical, but if something really was creating talents that resembled magic…that could be very interesting.
"I don't think so. You have to be born in Xanth, so Mundanes don't have talents…usually." She paused, frowning, looking puzzled. A small wisp of confusion drifted off to settle over her. "But now that I'm thinking about it, I am sensing magic from you. Fairly powerful magic. Odd. Do you want me to try to determine what your Talents are?"
There was a general consensus of yes. She began with Kirk. No especial reason, except that there's a usual order to things, and Kirk tends to be first; example: Kirk, Spock, and McCoy. Spock, McCoy, and Kirk sounds strange. And Jones, Kirk, Spock, and McCoy sounds even stranger. In any case, she began with Kirk.
Sandra laid one hand on Kirk's shoulder, and concentrated for a moment. "Your talent is the Bluff," she concluded. "It only works on people or things that don't know the nature of your talent though."
McCoy laughed. "I don't know how she did it, but she's got you pegged, Jim."
Kirk ignored him. "Can you explain that a little?"
Sandra shook her head. "I don't explain, I only Sense. I can tell the nature, and sometimes one or two things about it, like that yours won't work on people who know your talent."
"Hmm. Well, let's find out what Spock's talent is." (Spock, as you know, comes second.)
Sandra moved on to Spock. "Your talent is Logical Reasoning."
"Well, she got that one too," McCoy grinned.
"Can you sense any particulars?" Spock requested.
She concentrated. "Only that it should work even on people who know your Talent…with a few exceptions. I don't know why, but there seems to be one firm exception right at the base. It won't work on him," she explained, pointing at McCoy.
Kirk grinned. "Got that one too, didn't she, Bones? For all the effort expended, you two never have gotten very far."
"Sure, Jim. So what's my talent?" (McCoy, naturally, comes third.)
Sandra had the most trouble with McCoy. "It's hard to name this one. Best I can sense is that your talent is the Negative Profession."
McCoy blinked. "The what?"
Sandra shrugged. "Like I said, I don't explain them, just sense them. I am sensing that there's a certain phrase or sentence used to invoke your talent."
"Which would be…?"
"I have no idea."
McCoy frowned. "Well, thanks anyway."
"We'll figure it out eventually, Bones," Kirk said. "How about Jones and Simmons?" (As red-shirts, they of course are slated last.)
Sandra turned to Jones, with the intent of Sensing his Talent. She paused. "Oh, that's interesting."
"Interesting good, or interesting bad?" Jones asked nervously.
"Just interesting. You and Simmons seem to have the same talent. That's unusual, most talents don't repeat. The only case I've ever heard of is the Curse Fiends, at Lake Ogrechobee, who all have the talent of curses. Do you belong to a larger group of some sort, whose members tend to blend together?"
"Well…we're security guards," Jones said uncertainly.
"That must be it, " Sandra decided. "Anyway, let me see what your Talent is." She laid a hand on each Jones and Simmons. "You both have the talent of the Blunder."
"Oh, that figures," Jones said darkly.
"Cheer up," Sandra advised. "I'm sure it will be a perfectly good talent once you understand it."
"That could apply to all of us very easily," McCoy commented. "So much for a dull and uneventful mission."
"That reminds me," Kirk said, "we should call the ship and let them know there's more down here than we thought."
He pulled out his communicator and flipped it open with a careless air. Everyone in the landing party expected the usual trill. It didn't come. Kirk twisted a dial, flipped a switch. Nothing. He applied the tried and true method of fixing faulty machinery: he tapped it. Still nothing. Kirk slowly closed the communicator and put it away. The landing party members looked at each other.
"It seems we have discovered another aspect of the force at work on this peninsula," Spock said impassively. "It prevents communication to the ship."
"No, you think, Spock?" McCoy snapped.
"Yes, I do," Spock agreed.
McCoy ignored him. "What are we going to do now, Jim?"
"I'm sure we'll think of something," Kirk said. Which, translated, meant he had no idea and hoped he'd come up with one soon.
"I know what you can do," Sandra volunteered, having managed to follow at least half to three-quarters of the conversation.
"Please, don't tell us to go ask the Wizard," McCoy requested.
"Now, Bones, I'm sure she has a better suggestion than 'follow the yellow brick road and ask the Wizard of Oz how we can get home.'" Kirk turned to Sandra. "Now, what's your suggestion?"
"Follow the enchanted path and ask the Good Magician how you can get home."
Are we in suspense yet? Maybe not. But either way, you'll have to wait to find out about the Good Magician until the next chapter. Unless you're a fortunate soul who knows anyway. I'll try not to make it too long a wait though… : )
Whatshername: I have never had my stories so carefully broken down into degrees of humor…interesting. Hope this chapter was equally amusing.
PearlGirl: A reference to a money tree is coming, I promise…
Alania: It's a little like Enchanted Forest. But, if possible, stranger.
Grace: You have no idea what you've opened yourself up for. Pay attention, everyone! Xanth is not from a book. Xanth is a series. There are currently twenty-seven of them, and more coming. The first one is A Spell for Chameleon, and therefore an excellent place to start, followed by Source of Magic. I highly recommend all of them. Mine is set somewhere around book fifteen I think…okay, I don't really know. But anyway, that's where Xanth is from. But no, he didn't write Phantom Tollbooth. Which I actually have on a shelf, reasons unknown.
Kiri: Hello, cuz, you already saw this but feel like reviewing anyway?
Trekker-t: SOMEONE else has read Xanth! Yay!
Silverfang: Well, I was going to drop React temporarily, but [sigh] I'll do my best…I just posted chapter 39 by the way.
Taskemus: It's different kind of humor? I hadn't noticed. Maybe I'm becoming well-rounded, somehow.
Okay, that's all. Review again please!
