Disclaimer: Let's do a slight reverse. What do I own? Well…Sandra. Jones. Simmons is Whatshername's. The TOS characters' talents are original. The pan tree is mine. And…I think that's all. The rest will have to be referred over to either Piers Anthony or Gene Roddenberry, take your pick.
The few of you who have read Xanth may wonder when in the long chronology this is supposed to take place. Answer: No clue. I'll let you know when I figure that out. In the meantime, read and enjoy.
CHAPTER 5: In Which They Encounter the Gap
Captain's Log, Supplemental: We realized early on that Xanth has interesting plant life. It wasn't long before we found out that they had some interesting landscape features as well.
About midafternoon the following day, our brave band reached one of Xanth's most impressive, and until recently least memorable, landmarks: The Gap Chasm.
They stood at the edge, and stared.
"Are you sure we're not in Colorado?" McCoy asked, awed.
"I'm beginning to wonder," Kirk agreed.
Spock's eyebrow rose. "As we are 27.5 lightyears from Earth, there are very low odds that this could be Colorado. Even more unlikely than that this may be Florida, as the geographic shape is wrong."
"Well, yes, that makes sense. But there's no denying that this resembles the Grand Canyon," McCoy argued.
It did, kind of. Approaching the edge and looking down, it was a sheer drop of thousands of feet, perhaps a mile or more. It was difficult to say for certain, as the bottom was shrouded in fog.
Jones and Simmons refused to approach the edge. They had a thing against heights.
"So how are we going to get across this?" Kirk asked Sandra.
"That's easy," she assured him. "We take the invisible bridge."
"Oh. The invisible bridge." Kirk blinked, reviewed. "The invisible bridge? As in…a bridge that's invisible?"
Sandra nodded. "Essentially."
"I am not walking across a mile-deep canyon on thin air!" McCoy protested.
"It's not on air," Sandra said patiently. "It's on the invisible bridge."
McCoy nodded sagely. "That makes me feel so much better," he said sarcastically.
"I'm not crossing the Grand Canyon on a bridge I can't see!" Jones squeaked.
"It's very simple," Kirk assured him. "Just don't look down."
Jones and Simmons looked at him with twin expressions of dismay and terror.
"I was kidding!" Kirk said quickly.
"Here's hoping she's kidding," McCoy put in.
"I'm not," Sandra said firmly. "I don't see what you're all so upset about, it's just a bridge. Invisible, yes, but a bridge. People use it all the time."
"People, maybe, I don't know about these people though," Kirk said, looking around him.
"Oh honestly," Sandra said impatiently, walking forward.
The enchanted path went straight to the edge of the chasm. The cliff could have been a table edge in sharpness, and to all appearances the path went right up to the cliff edge and stopped. Sandra kept walking. Right over the edge. Out into open air with no decrease in elevation.
"See?" She stamped a foot on apparently empty air. It made a definite thud. "It's a perfectly good bridge."
"That is among the strangest things I have ever seen," McCoy concluded.
"Well…should we give it a try?" Kirk asked.
"Jim, you can't be serious!"
Kirk shrugged. "She doesn't appear to be falling. And anyway, risks are our business, remember? When man first looked at the stars—"
"It's a mile down!"
"And she's standing over it somehow." Kirk wasn't listening to any further protests. He stepped up to the edge of the cliff, and cautiously slid one foot over the edge. It was supported. He stepped off the cliff entirely, walked out a few steps, studying the odd effect of looking at a mile deep gorge under his feet. "Weird. But apparently stable."
"Now are you convinced?" Sandra demanded of the others. "What does it take to convince you this is safe, even if you are Mundanes?"
"Doesn't have a high opinion of Mundanes, does she?" McCoy commented.
"Guess not," Kirk agreed, wondering how wide the bridge was and if it would be a good idea to test that.
McCoy was reaching the point of conviction. Strange as it all was, enough time on the Enterprise does leave you somewhat inured to strangeness. Holding his breath (for all the good that would be likely to do), he carefully stepped off the cliff. Half surprised that it really did hold, he looked down, decided that one look was enough, and made sure to look straight ahead. He cautiously walked out towards Kirk and Sandra, who were a fair distance out by now.
This left three people still on the cliff. Jones and Simmons were not moving. Nothing doing. Nobody and nothing, short of a charging dragon, was going to get them out onto empty air. Kirk could court-martial them, but they were sticking to visible ground.
Spock, on the other hand, wasn't suffering from anxiety. He was in the midst of scientific curiosity instead. He was willing to walk out as soon as Sandra did, confirming the existence of something, except that he was more interested in determining the something. Which is why he was still on the cliff edge, studying the point where the bridge joined the cliff.
"What is this bridge constructed of?" Spock asked.
"Invisible stone, I think," Sandra called back.
Spock considered. "That is not logical."
Sandra's eyes widened. "Mr. Spock, don't say that."
Spock was oblivious to her concern. "I am simply attempting to determine the reasonableness of the existence of the bridge. It does not seem quite logical."
"Somebody stop him," Sandra said in a low voice.
"Can't be done. Believe me, I've tried," McCoy assured her.
Sure enough, Spock was continuing. "If the stones were invisible, how were they quarried? They would have to be cut into appropriate shapes, and if one cannot see what one is cutting, the builders could never be certain that the stones were in the necessary shape."
"We gotta get off of here," Sandra said urgently.
After the business with the tree, Kirk and McCoy knew better than to argue. They all started back towards the cliff edge.
"A further difficulty would come when the actual building commenced," Spock went on. "How can building be accomplished without visible materials? What proof did the builders have that there were no holes, or that they had even successfully followed the initial design? I do not think that this bridge could have been built. And if it could not be built, it therefore cannot exist," he concluded.
So it didn't.
Sandra and McCoy were within a step of the cliff anyway, and made it onto the edge with no more trouble than a little imbalance at the point of stepping off. Kirk was less fortunate. He was a few steps behind them, which left him firmly standing on a bridge that couldn't logically exist and, that having been pointed out, ceased to exist. Starting to fall, Kirk threw himself forward, just barely grabbing onto the edge of the cliff, leaving him dangling over the mile deep Gap Chasm.
A/N: You know where the phrase "cliffhanger" comes from, don't you? The old serials, which ended each installment with the hero in some sort of predicament. Occasionally even hanging off a cliff.
We will not be emulating them right now.
Fortunately for Kirk, this wasn't nearly as bad as it appeared at first glance. If he'd been hanging there all alone, he probably still could have pulled himself up. Circumstances as they were, it was the work of a moment for Spock to pull him up.
Once everyone was back on solid ground, they could concentrate on other things. Jones and Simmons were quickly deciding that they really, really, didn't belong in a place with carnivorous trees and invisible bridges that had the nerve to disappear underneath the Captain. Nope, this was no place for them. They'd been having an incredible string of good luck (that is to say, nothing really bad had happened yet), but it was certain to change, and probably soon.
Other people were thinking of other things.
"Now you've done it!" Sandra snapped at Spock.
"What, precisely, have I done?" Spock asked, quite at a loss.
"You logicked the bridge right out of existence!"
"He did what?" McCoy asked, confused.
"He figured out why the bridge can't exist! And then his blasted talent stepped in and it stopped existing! It'll wear off eventually, for all the good that does us."
"Say, that's pretty powerful," Kirk commented.
"It seems to have caused a problem though," Spock observed.
"S'okay, Spock, don't feel bad," McCoy told him. "You were just being you."
"I am always me. Therefore that statement—"
"Don't tell me I'm illogical. I'm immune, remember?" McCoy was enjoying himself. He hadn't been too pleased by the idea of an invisible bridge anyway.
"I remember."
"Anyway, to get back to something resembling business," Kirk interrupted. He didn't think they were going to start off (and he had a pretty good instinct regarding that) but where Spock and McCoy were concerned, you can't be too careful. "How do we get across the Gap now? Any other bridges?"
"Only the one-way bridge, and it's too far away."
McCoy blinked. "The one-way bridge?"
"It only exists going one direction," Sandra said absently.
Spock considered. "That is not—"
"Don't say it!" Kirk and McCoy said in unison.
"You're really going to have to curb those analytical impulses of yours, Spock," McCoy said.
Now there was a line that would start them off. "So, how do we get across?" Kirk said quickly.
Sandra shrugged. "I guess we'll have to find a way down. And once we're down, a find a way up on the other side."
"This will be fun," McCoy muttered.
"It's not that bad," Sandra said, "people do it all the time. I just hope we don't run into the Gap Dragon."
"Of course there's a dragon," McCoy agreed. "It would be too easy if it was just empty down there."
Jones and Simmons took notice of this.
"Uh…what exactly do you mean by 'dragon?'" Simmons asked uncomfortably.
"Um, are we talking…dragon dragon?" Jones said nervously.
"Like one with scales?" Simmons asked.
"And teeth?" Jones asked.
"And horns?"
"And teeth?"
"And fire?"
"And teeth?"
"And claws?"
"And teeth?"
"And a tail?"
"And tee—"
"Yes, yes, yes, no, yes, yes…" Sandra shook her head as though to clear it. "Yes to everything but the fire. The Gap Dragon is a steamer."
"Oh, that's comforting," Jones muttered.
"That's the spirit," Kirk said encouragingly, just as though Jones had meant it. "Now let's see about getting down there."
* * *
It wasn't too long before they found a path along the face of the cliff that snaked its way down to the bottom of the Gap. Narrow, but manageable, and with a little luck Sandra said they could probably make it down and up again by nightfall. (A/N: I don't know how people climb in and out of the Gap that fast, but they really do.)
"How far does the Gap extend?" Kirk asked idly, starting down the path.
"Most of the way across the middle of Xanth," Sandra answered.
"That would be inconvenient," Spock commented. "Why are there only two bridges?"
"Well, the one-way bridge and the invisible bridge have been here for ages. I guess no one's had time yet to build any new ones."
This created a certain amount of puzzlement.
"The Gap Chasm has obviously existed for countless millennia," Spock pointed out.
"Well, yes, but no one remembered it." Seeing several blank looks, Sandra went on. "The story goes that when King Dor was young he went back in time 800 years, where he accidentally set off a Forget Spell in the Gap. So for centuries no one beyond the Gap could remember that it existed. But a while back, after the Time of No Magic, the Forget Spell weakened and broke up, so everyone can remember the Gap now."
McCoy elbowed Kirk. "Jim, we gotta get out of here as soon as possible," he said in a low voice.
"Any particular reason?"
"Her explanations are starting to make sense to me."
* * *
They stopped to rest just over an hour later. The path widened at a spot halfway down, where a tree was making a valiant effort to grow. They paused for a break near it.
"Well, this hasn't been so bad so far," Kirk commented.
"If you think so, sir." Jones, obviously, did not think so.
"Don't tell me you're afraid of heights, Ensign," Kirk teased.
Jones gulped. "Deathly."
Simmons, meanwhile, was standing near the tree. He looked up at its branches, and noticed small red fruit. He picked one, looked at it. It was small, round, and bright red. It was harder than he would have expected, but still familiar. "Hey, I think this is a cherry tree!"
"Don't eat that!" Sandra snapped urgently. "And don't drop it either!"
This, of course, only brought out Simmons' clumsier tendencies. He jumped, almost let go, closed his hand again, and thrust it at Sandra.
She took the cherry. "Watch," she instructed, and threw it at the path behind them.
It exploded on impact.
"They aren't edible," Sandra said calmly, sitting down again.
Simmons stared at the crater in mute horror.
"Back on Earth, couple centuries ago," McCoy said thoughtfully, "didn't they use to have…?"
"Cherry bombs?" Kirk nodded. "Yes."
"Figures we couldn't go an entire chapter without a pun."
* * *
Of course, one can't expect to climb down to the bottom of the Gap Chasm without encountering at least one spot that's really too narrow to be entirely acceptable. They encountered it three quarters of the way down, where they had to turn and walk sideways due to the narrowness of the path. At least one member of the party was not happy.
"I'm not gonna die, I'm not gonna die, I'm not gonna die," Jones chanted, wishing desperately that he could convince himself of it. He peeked downwards, looking at the drop-off two inches past his toes as he stood with his back against the cliff. "I'm gonna DIE!"
"You're not going to die, Ensign!" Kirk snapped.
"Why not?" Jones asked hysterically. "What's gonna stop me?"
"You're not going to die because I said you're not going to die!"
Jones considered. "Oh. Well that's all right then."
McCoy, privately, felt that Jones did have something of a point, really. "This is crazy," he muttered, "I'm a doctor not a—"
"Don't say it!" Kirk said quickly.
McCoy looked at Kirk in front of him (actually, since they were turned facing out, on his left, but below him on the path) in some amount of surprise. "What?"
"Mountain-climber, right? You were about to say you're not a mountain-climber, right?"
McCoy blinked. "Well, yes, something to that effect."
"And that would have been a great effect. You magic yourself out of being a mountain-climber while we're halfway up a cliff!"
McCoy swallowed. "Good thing you interrupted me."
"Actually," Sandra said from beyond Kirk, "it wouldn't necessarily stop him from being a mountain-climber, it would just stop whoever he said it to from viewing him as a mountain-climber." She paused. "So…who were you saying it to?"
"Myself, I guess."
Sandra considered. "Yes, that could create a problem."
"Anyway," McCoy concluded, "there's definitely downsides to these talents."
"Indeed. It seems that you are going to have to curb those complaining impulses of yours, Doctor, " Spock deadpanned.
McCoy shot him a dark look and opened his mouth with some retort or other.
"Now really isn't the time, save it until we're on solid ground, all right?" Kirk interrupted.
"Save what?" McCoy asked innocently.
"Just climb."
* * *
The path eventually ended, as all things do. Fortunately, it didn't end until the bottom of the Gap, when they could all safely get off.
"Wow. It really does look as deep from down here as it did from up there," McCoy commented, looking upwards.
"It is a rather impressive feature of the landscape," Spock agreed. "I can think of few parallels."
"Anyway, we're definitely not in Florida," Kirk commented. "Or Colorado, seeing as there's no river." The bottom of the Gap was dry rock, and not as wide as one might think from it's depth. "And," Kirk added with a grin, "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore either."
Spock blinked. "What would lead anyone to believe that we are in Kansas, Captain?"
"Nothing, Spock, nothing at all."
After which exchange they set about seeking a way to get up the other side. They didn't look very long. Not because they found a route, but because they heard something.
"Do you hear something?" Kirk asked.
"A land bound animal, six legs and a tail, though it seems to move much in the manner of a snake, though vertically." That, of course, was from the only one with pointed ears.
"The dragon!" Jones and Simmons shrieked in unison, and hid behind Kirk.
Kirk looked over his shoulder and gave them a strange look, then turned back in the direction of the dragon. "How do we fight the Gap Dragon?" he asked Sandra.
Sandra looked very uncomfortable. "Um…I was really, really, really hoping we wouldn't meet the Gap Dragon. I mean, the odds are fairly low, the Gap is pretty big…"
"Great," McCoy muttered. "We beat the odds again. Lucky us."
By now, a cloud of steam was visible down the canyon. "I believe the dragon is getting closer," Spock commented unnecessarily.
"Take cover!" Jones yelped. His chief idea regarding cover seemed to be to wrap his arms over his head.
"Would cover help?" Kirk asked.
"Can't hurt," Sandra said helplessly.
They made for the site of a past landslide, and crouched down behind the loose boulders. The Gap Dragon rounded the curve and came into plain view. It was painfully obvious that the boulders were not going to help. The Gap Dragon was known for being one of the most formidable monsters of Xanth. The Starfleet officers had no way of knowing that, but they could guess it. He was low-slung, with a triple pair of legs, and iridescent metallic scales. And teeth. Big ones.
"We're doomed!" Simmons moaned.
"We're not doomed." Kirk reached for his phaser. It wasn't until he encountered the cloth of his Xanthian clothes that he remembered. His phaser was in his pack, along with his uniform. And besides, it didn't matter where it was. If communicators didn't work, phasers wouldn't either. He frowned. "Maybe we are doomed."
"We're doomed," Jones agreed fervently.
"No, we're not," Kirk said firmly, contradicting both Jones and himself. "We'll just have to fight magic with magic. However we do that."
"My talent's no good, I already know the Gap Dragon's magic," Sandra said grimly. "Destroying anything that comes into the Gap."
"I suppose I could point out that I'm a doctor, not dragon food, but I don't know what good that would do the rest of you."
"It's something. Spock?"
Spock was studying the dragon as it approached. "I can see nothing illogical about it."
McCoy stared at him. "You're kidding me."
"I'm sure if I were to engage it in conversation such would not be the case. However, I can see nothing illogical in its means of movement, its method of attack, or its desire to eat us."
That left them pretty well stuck. No one even thought of Jones and Simmons, and the two security guards were in no way insulted by this exclusion.
"Well," Kirk said grimly, standing up, "guess that leaves me."
"Jim, what're you going to do?" McCoy asked apprehensively, and with good reason.
Kirk stepped out into the open area of the chasm, directly in the path of the oncoming Gap Dragon. "Try to bluff a dragon, I think."
~~~~
Wedge Antilles: Y'know, I figured when I wrote this that my ulterior motive would be to get you to all go to your libraries and find Xanth books…it seems to be working remarkably well.
PearlGirl: Okay, let me explain how McCoy's talent saved him. See, he told the tangle tree that he was a doctor, not plant food. His magical talent kicked in, and the tangle tree figured, oops, guess this guy isn't good for eating, and put him down. Of course, there's no telling how long that would have effect, so it was still a good idea to leave, and quickly.
BlessTheMoon: Someone else has read Xanth! Let's see, will they encounter any main characters? Yes, very soon. Magician Humphrey and family, and after that, well, we'll see. As for the year's service, the vast majority do some other kind of service anyway.
Kiri of Gondor: How can you possibly give away the plot? I don't know what the plot is yet!
Alania: This may come across in the wrong tone since it's written but I'm honestly just trying to ask: Do the swear words really bother you? I stick absolutely just to d*mn and h*ll, and anything else would bother me, but I don't consider those two so bad. But I'll try not to use them, it's only been in the last year or so that I started using them at all anyway.
Whatshername: Yes, you should be glad you weren't fed to a tangle tree. Now let's keep up with our posting and not get tossed in the Gap Chasm, hmm? : )
I think that's all. Oh yes. Don't hate me, I'll post again soon. : )
