Spoonful of Yummy

by Connecticut Junkie

Summary: Chili is made by one, snogging is made by two, and insults are made by many. Rogue, Gambit, Jubilee, and Wolverine waste a few minutes in the kitchen.

Just a little ficlet to exercise the writing muscles. Thanks to Rebecca, who gave me the first sentence to see what I could do with it.

Rating: PG

Spoilers: None.

Logan stirred the last batch of his special secret recipe chili with a long-handled wooden spoon. With his other hand, he popped a claw and poked it behind him.

"Stop right there, Gumbo." The claw inched forward until it cut a thin line through Gambit's shirt. "An' drop the spices you've got in yer grubby hand." The other two claws slid out to join the first. "Unless, of course, you want to lose it."

Remy dropped the chili powder and cayenne pepper. They fell to the floor with a clatter and rolled under the table, where they were promptly forgotten. "Jus' tryin' to make de chili be all dat it can be."

"It's perfect the way it is." Logan defended his chili with the same passion as he would a woman he fancied. Probably more. There were three billion other women in the world, but only one recipe when it came to chili.

The kitchen door slammed open at that moment, silencing any other protests Gambit may have regarding dinner. In strode Jubilee, who after being on and off various X-teams for over seven years, had still not learned the meaning of 'stealth', and could be counted on to make the absolute loudest entrance possible.

Which explained why Cyke liked to let her be the decoy on so many missions. Which also explained why Wolverine spent a lot more time hassling Cyke than he used to. Which then explained why Cyke was now on a much needed vacation halfway around the world from the mansion, resulting in the remaining X-Men deciding to throw an impromptu and yet somehow highly anticipated barbecue/pool party.

"Remy, dude, if there is one piece of advice I can give you, it would be to stay far away from Wolvie and his chili." She wrinkled her nose. "And in general, far away from Wolvie after he eats his chili too."

"Keep pushin' it, darlin', and you won't get any of mine. Which means you'll have to settle for Ro's vegetable-only slop."

Jubilee put up her hands in defeat. "Okay. I officially strike that last comment from the record." She hopped up on the counter next to the stove and stuck her head over the pot. "Mmm...yumlicious."

"Gambit still t'ink it be needin' more pepper," Gambit mumbled, not caring that Wolverine could hear it perfectly.

Jubilee scowled at him. "And Jubilee t'ink Gambit need to stop talkin' bout himself in de t'ird person, non?" Her near-perfect imitation of the Cajun made Wolverine grin, and he rewarded her by holding up the wooden spoon, loaded with piping hot chili.

"Here. First taste is yours."

Jubilee opened her mouth and leaned forward, but the spoon was suddenly gone, replaced by a gust of wind A glance upwards revealed a triumphant Rogue, hovering as high above them as the ceiling would allow, licking the last of the chili off the spoon.

"Dude! That was my spoonful of yummy. Wolvie gave it to me!"

Gambit chuckled because for most of the time, he had the mentality of a fifteen year old. "Dat sounds so dirty when you say it like dat, petite."

Wolverine let loose all three of his claws on one hand and thrust them against Gambit for the second time that day. "You got a craving for some adamantium today, bub?"

Having spent many of her formative years with Wolverine as a role model, Jubilee also responded with violence, kicking high enough from her perch on the counter to connect her foot with Rogue's shin. "Lousy no good flying," she muttered.

"Ow! I may be invulnerable, sugah, but it still hurts!"

This caused Jubilee to roll her eyes. "If you kick her, does she not bitch?" Jubilee stuck her tongue out at her long time friend for good measure. Rogue drifted down until she was eye level with Jubilee and stuck out her own tongue in retaliation.

Gambit eased his way between the playfully teasing pair with his natural, typical grace. "No need to fight, ladies."

"Least not with your clothes on," added Wolverine, who quickly went back to stirring the chili when he felt four female eyes pierce him with feminist glares, whose owners were now collectively sticking their tongues out in his direction.

Gambit crossed his arms and leaned against the island. "Don't know why de old, short, hairy guy gets all de tongue action 'round here," he pouted out loud. Rogue slapped him in response, but also to cop a cheap feel of his bicep.

"Oh hush now, sweetie. Plenty more where that came from."

Gambit's pout turned instantly into a wicked grin, and his arms were now crossed behind Rogue's waist, one hand briefly sneaking up to flip a tiny switch on the large necklace she wore.

The hum of the inhibitor collar was only audible to Wolverine's ears, but Jubilee knew it was on as Gambit and Rogue began making out like they were the only people in the room.

"Ugh and blech and ew all rolled into a burrito of badness," she commented. "Remind me to 'accidentally' hit Forge with a baseball next time we have a game."

Wolverine smirked, his attention back on his chili. "I think there's already a sign-up sheet for that."

Rogue and Gambit were still going at it hot and heavy. Jubilee kept finding her eyes going back to it like some kind of train wreck. A train wreck with lots of tongue.

Wolverine turned off the burner and handed a ladle to Jubilee. He called out over his shoulder, "Hey Jack and Diane, knock it off, unless you want her to be too nauseous to eat."

Rogue reluctantly backed away from Gambit and de-activated her inhibitor necklace. "Sorry, Remy, but I'm starvin.'" She rolled her eyes at the leering grin that he gave her. "I meant for food. I swear, you are such a pervert sometimes."

"But you forgive Remy, no?" he asked, taking her gloved hands in his own and kissing each one.

Jubilee groaned and threw pot holders at the two of them. "The punishment for grosstastic P.D.A. is carrying out the food," she informed them.

"You carry it," Gambit shot back, and nuzzled Rogue's hair.

Jubilee threw another pot holder at him, only this time she'd wrapped it around a salt shaker. It hit Gambit square on the head. "I can't, I'm like carrying the ladle and stuff."

Rogue giggled as Gambit rubbed his head. "Alright," she conceded, and carried out the chili. Gambit frowned at Jubilee, having picked up the salt shaker and charging it just the tiniest bit. Any notion of throwing it though, was dispelled when Wolverine once again popped his claws.

"This is getting old, LeBeau," he said, pointing them the Cajun's way.

Gambit decharged the salt and set it on the counter. "Jus' kidding," he assured Logan, and picked up a stack of plates to take outside. As he was heading out the door, he tossed a handful of salt granules over his left shoulder. "To keep away de bad luck," he called out, then quickly disappeared. The granules hit the floor in front of Jubilee and exploded just enough to be playfully threatening, but far from dangerous.

Nonetheless, Jubilee yelped, then fumed. "That dirty Cajun is so gonna get it," she promised Wolverine, who was busy digging out a twelve pack of beer from the fridge.

"Whatever he gets, make sure I'm around to see it," he replied.

Jubilee grinned at him. "I'll save you a seat, front row center."

"Heart o' gold, kiddo." He stacked another twelve pack on top of the one he already had. "Now let's get out there before they eat all the grub."

Jubilee held out the ladle as he tried to walk by. "Too lazy to walk."

Wolverine rolled his eyes, but stopped anyhow. "Hop on," he said with faux reluctance.

Jubilee slid off the countertop and onto her partner's back, wrapping her legs and arms around him like a monkey. Only Wolverine had never met a monkey that could talk as much as she could. Actually, he'd never met a monkey who could talk at all, but whatever.

She pointed the ladle in the direction of the door and waved it with a flourish. "Onward, Christian Soldier." And then she lowered the ladle and whacked him across his side.

"Yer gonna pay for that," he warned.

"Whaddya gonna do?" she teased, totally unthreatened by his threat. "Make me watch Gambit and Rogue make suckyfaces until I vomit?"

He kicked open the door to the backyard. Jubilee ducked her head so she didn't hit it on the doorframe as they passed through. "Nah. Don't want to inflict permanent psychological damage to ya. Got enough of that runnin' round this place."

She grabbed a hold of his hair like handlebars and peered over to see his face. "Oooh, come on, tell me already. The suspense is so killing me."

"You'll see," he cryptically told her.

Jubilee purposely messed up his hair, just because she could.

Wolverine shrugged his shoulders, grabbed hold of her, and threw her in the pool, ladle and all. Just because he could.