Thirty Second Romances
Part Four: Draco/Hermione
Notes: Part four is here! I've seen a few long, extremely well done stories that make D/Hr shockingly plausible. However, I find that most D/Hrs are totally OOC, cliche, and completely unrealistic.
*****
It was late at night at the beginning of fifth year, and a very, happy, singing, and noticeably not evil Draco Malfoy was walking down some unknown, backwater Hogwarts corridor in the middle of night. He didn't have an invisibility cloak, but for some reason *knew* that he would never get caught, for some mysterious reason.
*crash*
Draco gave a big long siiiiiigh. It could be Filch, couldn't it, coming to punish his pretty boy, no longer evil ass!? Nah, not in this fanfic.
"Hello, Draco." Hermione stood before him.
*Wow! What an amazing COINCIDENCE! Draco thought. Hermione just HAPPENED to be in the same backwater corridor at some ridiculously late hour! Talk about chance. Talk about perfection.
"Oh my God!" Draco exclaimed. "You called me Draco...Hermione. With your sweet, sweet voice!"
Hermione gasped. "EWW! I CALLED YOU DRACO! THAT MEANS NOTHING!"
"Hermione! No! I've changed! Stop being afraid!"
"Whatever, Malfoy," Hermione said glaring. "I think I will proceed to do some annoying Hermione-like things, whatever the hell they are."
"No, wait!" Draco gasped. "You see, I'm not bad any more! I'm GOOD! Do I have to break out in happy songs?"
"Oh, really?" Hermione asked, unconvinced.
Draco got down on one knee. "I feeeeel pretty, I feel happy, I feel pretty and ditty and gaaaaaaaay!"
Hermione put her hands on her ears. "SHUT UP!" she screamed. "Okay, that was very out of character. Something must be going on so spit it out, Malfoy."
Draco danced around. "Alas, Dear 'Mione," He sang, strutting up to her. "I no longer like the baaaaaaaad side! I'm a gooooood guy?"
Putting her hands on her hips, Hermione asked, "Since when?"
"Since this suuuumer!" he sang soulfully. "Because as you know people's views can shockingly completely change in 10 weeks!" he cooed.
"Right..." Hermione muttered.
"Oh! My Hermione! I want to disown my father! I hate my friends! I hate Voldie and I now think Harry is really cool! But I need help disowning my powerful Daddy!"
"...How so?" Hermione finally remarked.
Draco walked to Hermione and got on his knee. "Oh, you see Hermione, the help I need is YOU! Since my 180 degree turnaround, I have been madly in love with you!" He grabbed her hands. "My dear, sweet love! Hermione Granger!"
"Huh?" Hermione said, noticeably blushing. "I'm, ah, a muggle-born..."
Draco aggressively put his arms around Hermione. "Oh, I no longer care, my sweet baby Granger," he sang. "My personality has changed so that I am now a fluffy, Harry-like Gryffindor with blond hair who is much better looking!"
Hermione looked at him, up and down. Suddenly, a big smile appeared on her face. "Oh, thank God you've turned Draco! Now I no longer have to hide my feelings for you!"
"Wow, you have feelings for me too? I KNEW IT!"
"Oh yes! Everyone thought I liked Harry or, eww, even worse Ron, but really, I always thought you were sooooo hot!" Hermione cried passionately. "Who cares that I'm normally rational and acting totally out of character by liking you? Let's get together and make sweet love!"
Draco took Hermione's arm. "Let's Dance, love!" So, they danced for a little while. "Oh, I can't wait until I get resorted into Gryffindor and disown my father and have millions of babies with you!" He stopped. "Wait a minute- will your friends mind?"
Hermione grinned and kissed Draco. "Naaah. I know Harry was your rival, but he's so accepting, don't worry! And even though Ron hates you and has a crush on me I know he'll accept you with open arms!"
"Awesome!" Draco cried.
Hermione grinned naughtily. "Now, my wonderful Dragon, let's make sweet love all night!" she roared.
"Okay!" So they danced in the nude and made sweet love all night, and the next day Draco got resorted into Gryffindor, became BEST PALS with Harry and Ron, and disowned his father.
And Draco and Hermione? Well, let's just say they lived out-of-characterly ever after.
***
End of Part 4.
