Six Seeds, Part Six-A
By Mice
-Prologue-
And as everything came to an end...
-1-
May 15th
She didn't know what to think of all this. Annie stared at the motionless body of Emily Clay-Poole. She had been working on the body all week, trying to get it back to working condition, but it seemed every time she thought she had Emily working again, something would go wrong; it was if Emily didn't want to be put back together again. It wouldn't have been so frustrating if Annie hadn't claimed Emily to be her thesis. If she got Emily to work again, she'd graduate Xaviers.
Annie also had time ticking against her. While there was no deadline for Emily, Jean was back to not supporting her enrollment at Xaviers. Annie was not privileged to find out that very few students at the school had ever been threatened for expulsion.
One day during the past week, Annie got her courage together and approached Jean about the whole ordeal. Jean looked at her simply and said, "Misconduct."
Jean had been quiet about her apprehensions towards her the past few weeks, but it was only with the fight Hank and Bobby had had last week that Jean had begun again. Annie wasn't even there, and Jean automatically blamed her for it.
Annie didn't profess to understand the complexity of the original five students that Xavier had taken in, but she knew that if you messed with one of them, you would get hurt. Mess with two...
She covered up Emily's body up to the shoulders with a white sheet before closing up the lab. It was late in the evening - a quick glance at her watch revealed how late. It was now May 16th. Before putting on her sweater, she looked at Emily. "I guess you're not going to wish me a happy birthday."
-2-
Bobby remained perfectly still in the bed. While waiting for Annie to come back from her lab, he had arranged himself in the exact perfect position on the bed that would make him look his best. Bobby did a quick glance at his mostly naked body as an odd thought came to his mind.
"Okay, I'm not the tallest here...and maybe I don't always eat the right foods, but I am pretty much all muscle. And compared to most guys my age, I look damn good.
"So why do I feel less than pathetic?" He remembered. "Annie."
The previous night, he and Annie had begun a conversation about her attitude towards the other women in the mansion. She remarked that the only other woman who had even the tiniest bit of body fat on her was Rogue, which worked well for Rogue, given her voluptuous figure. Bobby had tried to soothe her the best he could until she asked him that stupid question, "How do you feel in comparison to the other men?"
Needless to say, they did not have sex that night.
Bobby decided that he was fine with not being the best physically in the X-Men. The Champions was a relief, even though an Olympian god was in the mix, the other members of the team were a flaming skull and Warren in yellow and orange spandex with a matching headband. The New Defenders had been another positive experience, until he lost his almost girlfriend to a bald headed woman. X-Factor had been the early X-Men redux.
Now Bobby found himself amidst a crowd of lady pleasers like Gambit and, the reason truly escaped him, Nightcrawler. Kurt Wagner was furry, had a tail, three fingers and was blue. "Okay, so I can't judge harshly on the blue and furry thing because of Hank..." he thought out loud. Even still, Bobby thought more woman would find him more attractive than at least Kurt. He was normal looking. That had to count for something.
He wasn't the shortest man, either, but Bobby didn't dare say that out loud -- he was sure Logan would hear him and gut him in his sleep. Warren could afford to buy whatever he lacked in his Aryan charm.
Bobby's thoughts went to the next obvious place, how he compared with Hank. For this, he got out of bed and got some paper and a pen. He made two columns, one with Hank's name, one with his name. "Number one..."
-3-
Annie walked past her bedroom door, not quite wanting to go in yet. She kept on walking until she was out the front door and somewhere on the estate where no one else was.
"Hi, there." She was very wrong about that last part.
Annie turned her head sideways and found Scott Summers looking at her.
"Hey."
"Happy Birthday."
"You know?" Annie smiled in surprise. She didn't think anyone outside of Hank and Bobby would even pay mind to her today.
"Hank made sure everyone knew." Scott smiled, and Annie returned it.
They remained silent for a moment as Scott looked an assortment of words that seemed like the right thing to say. "I don't agree with Jean."
It wasn't the topic she was hoping to talk about this time of night, though it was certainly predominant in her mind. "On?"
"You." He looked at her seriously through his red quartz glasses. "We've let other people come and stay after experiencing a less than desirable past history with them. With you...you have to understand that it's Jean's maternal side..."
"Lost me."
"Warren, Hank, and Bobby are her boys, especially Bobby. He was the youngest and hadn't been away from home before. He put on a good front with the boys, but - I probably shouldn't tell you that." Before Annie could ask what, Scott changed the subject. "How long have you been working in that lab?"
"Let me put it this way, I'm amazed it's Friday."
Scott nodded. "Frustrated?"
"Beyond belief."
He took a deep breath as he turned away from her. Aiming his mouth to the night sky, he shouted, "FUCK YOU!"
Annie blinked in surprise. "Excuse me?"
"Try it," he replied with a smile. "It does a lot to get rid of tension. And I promise I won't take it personally."
Annie took a deep breath before yelling, "Fuck you!"
Scott was nonplussed. "Louder."
"Fuck YOU!"
"Pennsylvania needs to hear it. Maine needs to hear it."
"But everyone in the mansion--"
"FUCK THEM!"
"FUCK! YOU!" Annie raised her hands to the sky as her mouth screamed the obscenities over and over in a vacant plot of land on the grounds.
Scott smiled as he joined her. "FUCK!"
"YOU!"
"FUCK YOU!" they screamed in unison, and held it for what seemed like a small eternity.
Tired, they collapsed to the ground.
"So," Annie began, "What made you think of that?"
"When I was new, I came here a lot to think. At first, I tried writing in a journal, then I tried writing poetry in a journal--"
"Love poetry for Jean?"
"I'll ignore that for now," Scott cautioned. "I'm not the most extroverted. I'm not the most introverted, either. And one day, after somehow managing to end the first line of a couplet with "orange"--"
"A couplet for your love poem of Jean?"
"I grew frustrated and just began to say "fuck". It was the only word that could express it. It was quiet at first, but then it grew into something conversational. Then it became something I would just yell until it was all out of me. Same frustrations were there, but now they were properly articulated."
"Fuck."
"Yeah. Fuck."
-4-
Jubilee turned her attention to the pool with a magnificent crash. The water was colder than usual. She quickly dismissed it because of the night weather as she let herself float back up to the surface. She quickly climbed out of the pool to repeat her performance.
She knew Harpo was waiting for her to spend more time together. That's why she was still here. With her eyes closed tight with the water encouraging her body to move to the top, Jubilee felt as she did when she was six, before anything had a chance to be complicated. Or maybe she felt as she did when she was sixteen, with it's complications, but not including the new problems she had in her life.
Again, Jubilee jumped. There was a difference between being with Bobby and letting herself be with him. She could accept why she let herself be with him, welcome attention from someone she had found attractive for a long time, attention that was mature and very needy. And it would have been fine if that was all it had been.
Another splash. How soon had she let Harpo have sex with her after they had met? He was the first boyfriend that she had ever had and after a month and a half, they fell into bed. Again, she welcomed the attention, but wasn't sure what to think about everything else that happened.
Jubilee didn't want to admit it, but she looked at Paige, still virginal, and felt horribly envious. Paige still had something to look forward to, if any man was willing to run the gauntlet. Paige still had an opportunity for everything to be perfect. Jubilee was stuck with knowing that she lost her virginity to a drunk man who would never remember.
Under her insistence, Jubilee had insisted that Harpo to try and not use his empathy with her, and she regretted it a lot. There were nights she went with him just because it seemed to be the normal thing to do. It was very mechanical to her. Kiss, pet, thrust, thrust, thrust, roll over. She didn't know how Harpo felt about it.
Jubilee jumped in. She drew her knees to her chest and wished herself to sink to the bottom, not that it happened. She eventually rose to the surface. Instead of jumping out again, she laid with her back against the water, face toward the night sky and doubted herself. For the past three years, she had been crazy with unrequited love and all the passion that went with it. Now that she could act on all of it, it just seemed impassioned, stale and she didn't know how much longer it could go on.
The water was getting much colder. Jubilee turned herself upward to find Bobby Drake with his legs in the pool, staring rather intensely at her. "Bobby?"
"Did I fuck you?"
Jubilee ducked her head underneath the cold water again. "What did you say?"
Bobby ran a hand through his hair nervously. "I need to know."
Jubilee swam up to him and lifted herself out of the pool, suddenly very shy about the bikini she had chosen to wear. "You don't need to know, Bobby. You'll only feel worse."
Bobby let out a huge breath. "So I did."
"It wasn't your fault," Jubilee offered, deciding against touching him to show her sincerity. "I seduced you."
Bobby frowned at this. "What?"
"I kissed you, Bobby. That's what started it all. I was miserable, you were drunk and miserable. I came in to check in on you and you were just...well, you were pretty shook up." She had really wanted to say "pathetic", but that wasn't going to do much good. "I knew it wasn't a good idea, but I just wanted to..." She couldn't find it in her to complete her sentence. Jubilee found it ironic, she could talk and babble at length about anything else, as long as it didn't have to do with her weaknesses.
"And I went with it?"
Jubilee nodded.
Bobby stared at the water. "Was it your first time?"
She nodded again.
A sick part of him wanted to ask if she had enjoyed it, to know if she received any pleasure for him. It made him feel worse.
"Bobby...are you okay?"
He waved a hand at her.
"Bobby, really, don't--"
"I'm sorry, Jubilee."
"Don't worry about it. It was going to happen sometime."
"Did I force you?"
Jubilee shook her head.
"Are you positive?" Bobby took her by the shoulders. "This is very serious and I want you to be truthful."
"Bobby, I wanted to do it! I was consenting." He let her go, still not finding any peace in it. "Bobby, what's wrong?"
"I never talk to Lorna anymore."
She squinted. "What does the Jolly Green Gidget have to do with this?"
"This is going to sound ridiculous," Bobby steadied his arms at either side of him. "Lorna was my first."
Jubilee nodded. "I kind of figured."
Bobby was about to continue, but decided against it. "No one ever thinks I can get women that gorgeous."
Jubilee smiled, knowing that she could finally provide some levity to the increasingly uncomfortable situation. "You're a lady killer. Whenever you go to town, you completely charm the college girls."
"You lie."
"I'm trying to make you feel better."
"Not working."
"Am I going to have to sleep with you again?"
"Maybe." That took the levity away completely. Bobby was surprised to hear it come out of his mouth.
Jubilee couldn't disagree that it wasn't a bad thing to hear. Despite her boyfriend and Bobby's girlfriend, and all of her thoughts on sex in general, it wasn't a bad thing to hear.
-5-
Annie found a torn sheet of paper that had Bobby's writing on it. She picked it up to investigate.
"Hank: 5'10". Intelligent. Comforting. Witty. Genius. A doctor. Blue eyes. Blue fur (I'll still never understand it...) Great parents. Well adjusted. Can bench press way more than me. Dresses better, too. Always smells nice. Looks good in glasses. Dates successful singers and television news reporters.
"Me: 5'8". Kind of funny. Large collection of junk (that only impresses me). Accountant. Went to Dartmouth (smart?) Nice build (compared to normal guys). Blue eyes (with contacts). Dates your standard garden variety of losers - especially if they abuse me."
Annie stared at that last sentence for a long time. It didn't say, "Dates your standard garden variety of losers (present girlfriend not included)." She slowly sat herself on her bed, where Bobby had obviously been a few hours ago. It was still cold.
She knew she hadn't been treating Bobby as well as she should have, but she considered it a far cry from abuse. Annie used him the way most girlfriends use their boyfriends, from what she understood. She had made a decision to stay away from Hank, and Hank and Bobby had made up. There shouldn't have been anything wrong.
But Bobby thought she was a loser, and that brought back with it the familiar sting of her past relationship. That feeling of never being good enough for the other person, and how long did that last?
Annie remained on her bed and began to stare at the door. She and Bobby needed to talk.
-6-
Bobby found the liquor cabinet and proceeded to make himself a Long Island Molotov. It was a drink he grew fond of by force in high school. Before going to the movies, he and his friends would each get a thermos and take a bit of alcohol out of every bottle of liquor in the house. The result was quite horrible, but Bobby grew quite fond of it over the years.
He didn't notice Hank was watching him the entire time. "Hard night?"
Bobby nearly dropped Remy's bottle of Royal Crown. "Thank you for being subtle, Hank." He got out another glass. "Do you want one?"
Hank shook his head. "If I'm going to die before I'm forty, I wish it to be something of a spectacular event, involving explosions, heroism, saving a small child, and a beautiful woman crying and singing, "Midnight Train to Georgia" as I lay in her arms, dying. So you see why I can't possibly tempt my fate with alcohol poisoning."
"What's with the "Midnight Train to Georgia"? Have you been to Georgia?"
"I just think it's a lovely song. It moves me."
Bobby went over to sit by him, glancing down at what he was eating. "Brussel sprouts?"
"I like brussel sprouts. Don't judge me, Robert; I have a lighter and with all that you are consuming, I can make you the new Human Torch."
Bobby stopped and drank more.
"Is Johnny still not speaking to you after the whole fax mess?"
"It's not that." He finished his drink and set the empty glass on the table. "I'm a horrible guy, Hank."
Hank started to laugh. "You are hardly horrible, Bobby."
Bobby stared up at him and despite all the alcohol in his body, his eyes were sober. "I slept with Jubilee."
Hank pushed his bowl away. "When?"
"Last year when I was in California.."
"How?" Hank had developed a sudden morbid fascination with this. He didn't know if it was because his head was always buried in his lab or just a general state of being clueless, but the idea of Bobby and Jubilee had never entered his mind. His next thought went to the conclusion that it shouldn't have and it shouldn't have gotten into Bobby's, either.
"I was drunk. I was feeling sorry about myself...she says she seduced me."
"Do you believe her?"
"I want to." He looked up at Hank. "I almost told her about what happened with Lorna."
Hank groaned disapprovingly. "I wouldn't, Bobby. That's done and over with. I wouldn't even tell Annie about it."
Bobby's eyes widened at the thought of telling Annie. "I can't tell her! I've never told any of my girlfriends. I can scare them off easily enough on my own, thank you." He played with his glass, alternately freezing and defrosting it. "I thought Lorna was just a stupid mistake, then Jubilee tells me this and..." He knocked the glass while frozen, shattering it easily. "Logan is going to kick my ass."
"Calm down, Bobby. Logan has more respect for Jubilee than that."
"Yeah, for Jubilee, but not for me." Bobby let out a frustrated laugh. "What if the Professor finds out? That's when I'm going to get in trouble. I'll be a repeat offender, be a listed sex offender--"
"Robert, you didn't rape Jubilee!" Hank yelled in a whisper. "Jubilee is not Lorna."
"Statutory rape, Hank. She was still sixteen." Bobby paused for a moment, not knowing how to say what came next. "And I would have done it again tonight, Hank."
Hank was tempted to leave at the confession. "I would have gone for some tasteful jewelry, but cheating on your girlfriend is a great birthday gift, too."
"You're right." Bobby knew he had no reason to be angry. "I'm scared, Hank. I know Jubilee said that I didn't force her, but I keep thinking back to Lorna, I can hear her softly saying no, but not forcing me off of her at the same time. And I raped Lorna, Hank. And I wish I could tell Jubilee that, to make her understand why it's important to think about it. And I can't."
-7-
Annie felt herself being shaken awake. "Bobby...?" she asked, not yet opening her eyes.
"Many Happy Returns," Emily Clay-Poole spoke with both hands wrapped around Annie's throat.
