Chapter 4-would you like insanity with that?
Hermione walked into the Great Hall for dinner with her head held high and aiming for one destination: a very scared looking Harry and Ron. As she approached them the boys looked at her fearfully, that is until she sat down. She sat down and settled herself in and turned to her two best friends and said to them, "So, are you two okay now?"
Believing that she was talking about how they had ignored her for a whole week they answered in the positive, but Ron had to shake them all out of their false sense of normality by asking Hermione, "Where did you get the idea to flip us off by calling us Xander and Willow?"
When Hermione paused as if puzzled by his question Ron's smile faded and Harry looked as if he were going to drop his face into his mashed potatoes and gravy in exasperation. Hermione cocked her head ever so slightly, and said with amusement dancing in her eyes, "For the last time, your names are Xander and Willow, I am Hermione, you are my best friends aside from Buffy and we all live in Sunnydale," she broke out into a huge smile and continued, "Last but not least we are the Scooby Gang." Hermione looked around and scrunched up her nose as she came across Pansy, a particularly nasty girl from Slytherin house, "Ewwww, Cordelia's here but Buffy isn't. what weird twist of fate would cause that to happen?"
Harry and Ron were not having a good time of it. They looked at each other and turned to Hermione, Harry said to her, "The reason Buffy isn't here is because there is no Buffy who attends Hogwarts."
Hermione, instead of even hearing what they were saying had, in her delusional state changed the words in her mind to, 'The reason Buffy isn't here is because Giles asked her to stay behind for some reason. That reason not being evident to us.' Hermione turned to Harry and said to him, "Xander, did you see Buffy after school? Cause I thought that she left early or something."
Harry sighed and bowed his head in exasperation, "No Hermione, I haven't seen Buffy, she left early." At this Ron's eyes widened and he slowly turned to Harry as Hermione busied herself with her dinner and looking around at everyone in the Great Hall.
"What do you think you're doing? She reckons we're someone else, she's gone nuts."
Harry looked at Hermione and finally said to Ron, "Think of it this way. If we play along with her we can protect her from other people who are going to take advantage of her situation. Let's face it, we don't want our best friend going to a nut house. If we pretend that everything's fine then it will be. Eventually she'll snap out of it."
"How do you know that? She might be stuck in her little day dream for the rest of her life!"
"Ron, it's just like the House Elves, she'll eventually get tired of it all and brush it off. This way we get to be her friend, make sure she doesn't go to St Mungo's and make sure that she doesn't get into too much strife."
Ron just growled in response, something about 'you're right' and 'St Mungo's. she might kill us all.' But Harry wisely left it at that and began to think about the little world Hermione had herself stuck in. It seemed that she had replaced their identities with other people's, he just wondered who 'Buffy' would be. If it turned out to be someone who Hermione just didn't get along with it would be disasterous, if it were someone she knew it would be uncomfortable at best.
Harry watched as Hermione talked to a member of Gryffindor House who she obviously didn't know. He wanted to see who Buffy would turn out to be. It was turning into a sick sort of reality TV show, one where you got to see your best friend become delusional and insane.
Hermione turned to Harry, "Xander, what did you think about Buffy's idea? You know, three nights of slayage and two nights of fun, those nights preferably being Friday and Saturday night."
"Um, yeah, that sounds good. A bit of relief you know."
Hermione nodded and then snapped her head to the entrance of the Hall as Dean Thomas walked in (A/N: for the stories sake if Dean doesn't have blonde hair in the books, he has blonde hair now), "Look, Buffy's here."
Harry looked at Ron who had his eyebrows raised and was looking confused, "So, that must be Buffy then." Harry nodded and turned to watch Dean approach the Gryffindor table, oblibious to Hermione's shouts of 'Buffy! Over here!"
Harry turned to Ron, "Where going to have to tell him. She's going to be crushed if he doesn't acknowledge her." He said while gesturing at Hermione who was getting a bit distressed.
"What's wrong? Why is she ignoring me?" Hermione looked at Ron and Harry.
Harry, who was the smart and sensitive one said to her, "We'll go talk to her and see what the problem is. Is that ok?" Hermione nodded her head and proceeded to sulk, a very un-Hermione action.
Harry and Ron got up and hurried over to Dean, and grabbed him by the arms and frog marched him out of the Great Hall amid a confused protest. As soon as they were outside Harry began talking, "Dean we need a really big favour from you and you have to do it."
Dean looked at them and slowly replied, "Okay.as long as it doesn't involve me going out with some girl who I wouldn't look at twice."
Harry nodded and continued, "It doesn't have anything to do with that sort of thing. You see, it's a problem with Hermione. She's sort of gone a tiny bit around the bend and she thinks that we're somebody else."
Dean looked at him dubiously. Ron interjected, "In paricualr she thinks that you are some girl named Buffy."
Dean was taken aback by this, "She thinks I'm a girl? What?!"
Ron moved to reassure him, "Don't worry. She thinks I'm some girl named Willow."
Harry took over again, "The point is that we don't want Hermione to be taken to St Mungo's or anything so we're playing along with it until she snaps out of it. Since Hermione thinks you're her friend could you please just pretend that you are Buffy. I doesn't take much, just agree with what she says and make up the rest, you're a high school girl, it won't be that hard."
Dean looked at the two boys who had him backed against a wall and had expectant looks on their faces, "I'll do it. As long as I don't have to dress or act like a girl."
Ron replied, "That's no problem, Hermione does that for us."
They entered the Hall together and stopped for Dean to tell his friends to meet him later. They sat down with Hermione who was now beyond sulking and had slipped into anger. Dean sat down next to her, "I'm sorry about before, I was just sorting a few things out with them, you know?"
Hermione looked at him and said, "Oh! Slaying business. I'm so sorry! I overreacted to it all. You know, it's been a long week and all." Hermione looked at the group of boys around her, "So, what are we going to do for the rest of the night?"
The boys looked uncomfortably at one another, "Well, we were thinking maybe it could be a bit more of a home-bound night. There hasn't been much going on."
Hermione nodded and said to them, "That sounds cool. A justified night off, sounds good."
They trooped up to the Gryffindor common room and sat around and talked uncomfortably until Hermione decided to 'head on home.'
Dean immediately turned to Harry and Ron, "I know what she's up to. She thinks that we're characters from a TV show."
Ron looked confused as Harry nodded. Dean saw Ron's obviously puzzled look and tried to explain, "It's sort of like a play, except in your lounge room." Ron just shook his head in response, "Either way. She thinks we're characters from a TV show named Buffy the Vampire Slayer, heard of it Harry?"
Harry nodded, "Yeah I think I have."
Ron was still in the dark about it and Dean was losing patience, "For your sake Ron we'll say that she thinks wer're chracters from a book. Basically the 'book' is about Buffy, who I am supposed to be. Buffy is a teenage vampire slayer, she kills vampires. She has friends who know about it, but no one is supposed to know right?" Dean checked that Harry and Ron were still with him, "You guys are Buffy's best friends, Willow who has reddish hair and Xander, who has dark brown hair. The thing is that Hermione obviously put herself into the show and is now acting it out in real life."
Harry nodded and then asked, "What other characters are there?"
"Well, Buffy has an ex-boyfriend, who's a vampire, he's called Angel or Angelus. Buffy has a watcher, a coach you could call it, who's around forty years old. There's Cordelia, the school snob and two vampires who hang around quite a bit, their names are Spike and Drusilla. But the definite characters depend on which season that Hermione likes the best. Does that explain it all?"
"Pretty much, yeah," was Ron's response. Exhausted from an evening of being confused and trying to understand things they headed off to bed. While going up the stairs Ron asked Dean, "How do you know about all this stuff?"
"It really is a long and sad story."
Hermione walked into the Great Hall for dinner with her head held high and aiming for one destination: a very scared looking Harry and Ron. As she approached them the boys looked at her fearfully, that is until she sat down. She sat down and settled herself in and turned to her two best friends and said to them, "So, are you two okay now?"
Believing that she was talking about how they had ignored her for a whole week they answered in the positive, but Ron had to shake them all out of their false sense of normality by asking Hermione, "Where did you get the idea to flip us off by calling us Xander and Willow?"
When Hermione paused as if puzzled by his question Ron's smile faded and Harry looked as if he were going to drop his face into his mashed potatoes and gravy in exasperation. Hermione cocked her head ever so slightly, and said with amusement dancing in her eyes, "For the last time, your names are Xander and Willow, I am Hermione, you are my best friends aside from Buffy and we all live in Sunnydale," she broke out into a huge smile and continued, "Last but not least we are the Scooby Gang." Hermione looked around and scrunched up her nose as she came across Pansy, a particularly nasty girl from Slytherin house, "Ewwww, Cordelia's here but Buffy isn't. what weird twist of fate would cause that to happen?"
Harry and Ron were not having a good time of it. They looked at each other and turned to Hermione, Harry said to her, "The reason Buffy isn't here is because there is no Buffy who attends Hogwarts."
Hermione, instead of even hearing what they were saying had, in her delusional state changed the words in her mind to, 'The reason Buffy isn't here is because Giles asked her to stay behind for some reason. That reason not being evident to us.' Hermione turned to Harry and said to him, "Xander, did you see Buffy after school? Cause I thought that she left early or something."
Harry sighed and bowed his head in exasperation, "No Hermione, I haven't seen Buffy, she left early." At this Ron's eyes widened and he slowly turned to Harry as Hermione busied herself with her dinner and looking around at everyone in the Great Hall.
"What do you think you're doing? She reckons we're someone else, she's gone nuts."
Harry looked at Hermione and finally said to Ron, "Think of it this way. If we play along with her we can protect her from other people who are going to take advantage of her situation. Let's face it, we don't want our best friend going to a nut house. If we pretend that everything's fine then it will be. Eventually she'll snap out of it."
"How do you know that? She might be stuck in her little day dream for the rest of her life!"
"Ron, it's just like the House Elves, she'll eventually get tired of it all and brush it off. This way we get to be her friend, make sure she doesn't go to St Mungo's and make sure that she doesn't get into too much strife."
Ron just growled in response, something about 'you're right' and 'St Mungo's. she might kill us all.' But Harry wisely left it at that and began to think about the little world Hermione had herself stuck in. It seemed that she had replaced their identities with other people's, he just wondered who 'Buffy' would be. If it turned out to be someone who Hermione just didn't get along with it would be disasterous, if it were someone she knew it would be uncomfortable at best.
Harry watched as Hermione talked to a member of Gryffindor House who she obviously didn't know. He wanted to see who Buffy would turn out to be. It was turning into a sick sort of reality TV show, one where you got to see your best friend become delusional and insane.
Hermione turned to Harry, "Xander, what did you think about Buffy's idea? You know, three nights of slayage and two nights of fun, those nights preferably being Friday and Saturday night."
"Um, yeah, that sounds good. A bit of relief you know."
Hermione nodded and then snapped her head to the entrance of the Hall as Dean Thomas walked in (A/N: for the stories sake if Dean doesn't have blonde hair in the books, he has blonde hair now), "Look, Buffy's here."
Harry looked at Ron who had his eyebrows raised and was looking confused, "So, that must be Buffy then." Harry nodded and turned to watch Dean approach the Gryffindor table, oblibious to Hermione's shouts of 'Buffy! Over here!"
Harry turned to Ron, "Where going to have to tell him. She's going to be crushed if he doesn't acknowledge her." He said while gesturing at Hermione who was getting a bit distressed.
"What's wrong? Why is she ignoring me?" Hermione looked at Ron and Harry.
Harry, who was the smart and sensitive one said to her, "We'll go talk to her and see what the problem is. Is that ok?" Hermione nodded her head and proceeded to sulk, a very un-Hermione action.
Harry and Ron got up and hurried over to Dean, and grabbed him by the arms and frog marched him out of the Great Hall amid a confused protest. As soon as they were outside Harry began talking, "Dean we need a really big favour from you and you have to do it."
Dean looked at them and slowly replied, "Okay.as long as it doesn't involve me going out with some girl who I wouldn't look at twice."
Harry nodded and continued, "It doesn't have anything to do with that sort of thing. You see, it's a problem with Hermione. She's sort of gone a tiny bit around the bend and she thinks that we're somebody else."
Dean looked at him dubiously. Ron interjected, "In paricualr she thinks that you are some girl named Buffy."
Dean was taken aback by this, "She thinks I'm a girl? What?!"
Ron moved to reassure him, "Don't worry. She thinks I'm some girl named Willow."
Harry took over again, "The point is that we don't want Hermione to be taken to St Mungo's or anything so we're playing along with it until she snaps out of it. Since Hermione thinks you're her friend could you please just pretend that you are Buffy. I doesn't take much, just agree with what she says and make up the rest, you're a high school girl, it won't be that hard."
Dean looked at the two boys who had him backed against a wall and had expectant looks on their faces, "I'll do it. As long as I don't have to dress or act like a girl."
Ron replied, "That's no problem, Hermione does that for us."
They entered the Hall together and stopped for Dean to tell his friends to meet him later. They sat down with Hermione who was now beyond sulking and had slipped into anger. Dean sat down next to her, "I'm sorry about before, I was just sorting a few things out with them, you know?"
Hermione looked at him and said, "Oh! Slaying business. I'm so sorry! I overreacted to it all. You know, it's been a long week and all." Hermione looked at the group of boys around her, "So, what are we going to do for the rest of the night?"
The boys looked uncomfortably at one another, "Well, we were thinking maybe it could be a bit more of a home-bound night. There hasn't been much going on."
Hermione nodded and said to them, "That sounds cool. A justified night off, sounds good."
They trooped up to the Gryffindor common room and sat around and talked uncomfortably until Hermione decided to 'head on home.'
Dean immediately turned to Harry and Ron, "I know what she's up to. She thinks that we're characters from a TV show."
Ron looked confused as Harry nodded. Dean saw Ron's obviously puzzled look and tried to explain, "It's sort of like a play, except in your lounge room." Ron just shook his head in response, "Either way. She thinks we're characters from a TV show named Buffy the Vampire Slayer, heard of it Harry?"
Harry nodded, "Yeah I think I have."
Ron was still in the dark about it and Dean was losing patience, "For your sake Ron we'll say that she thinks wer're chracters from a book. Basically the 'book' is about Buffy, who I am supposed to be. Buffy is a teenage vampire slayer, she kills vampires. She has friends who know about it, but no one is supposed to know right?" Dean checked that Harry and Ron were still with him, "You guys are Buffy's best friends, Willow who has reddish hair and Xander, who has dark brown hair. The thing is that Hermione obviously put herself into the show and is now acting it out in real life."
Harry nodded and then asked, "What other characters are there?"
"Well, Buffy has an ex-boyfriend, who's a vampire, he's called Angel or Angelus. Buffy has a watcher, a coach you could call it, who's around forty years old. There's Cordelia, the school snob and two vampires who hang around quite a bit, their names are Spike and Drusilla. But the definite characters depend on which season that Hermione likes the best. Does that explain it all?"
"Pretty much, yeah," was Ron's response. Exhausted from an evening of being confused and trying to understand things they headed off to bed. While going up the stairs Ron asked Dean, "How do you know about all this stuff?"
"It really is a long and sad story."