Chapter 9- The whole world has gone crazy
A/N: mwahahaha! I shall bore you to death with my endless author's notes. I'm feeling awfully evil today and this fanfic shall suffer the consequences. I just read over that last chapter and realised that Draco is so very OOC, but oh well, isn't he always? Read on and.dammit I don't know what I was gonna say but it was going to be good.
Hermione, the one girl in all of Hogwarts who had the power to find the sane people and make them totally insane quickly made her way to the dungeons and, inevitably, Snape's office with a bounce in her step and a smile on her face; she was going to solve all the problems in her extremely small world. The bushy haired girl stood in front of Snape's office a moment before entering in order to wipe the smile off her face and rid her poor mind of Spike-is-one-big-love-bunny thoughts. Composed, Hermione knocked on the door and waited for Snape to call her in.
Snape suddenly snatched the door open, making Hermione jump with fright. He narrowed his eyes at her, "What would you like?"
At his cold tone Hermione shifted her weight from one side to the other and said in a small voice, "I'd like to talk to you about something."
The answer was preceded with a further narrowing of Snape's eyes which made him look like he were squinting at something, "Yes, but be quick about it, I have things to do."
Hermione nodded and followed Snape as he turned around with a big swish of his long black robes, making Hermione scuttle back wards to avoid being hit by them. Taking a seat across from Snape, Hermione noticed that Giles was looking somewhat pale and drawn. Taking a deep breath to calm her Hermione began talking, "Giles, you've been withdrawn from us for a while now. I know that you've been upset over Jenny's.death, but that is no reason to cut us off. You know that there is a battle taking place and you are a watcher; it is your duty to help battle the powers of evil and you are not doing that. Not only are we languishing on the battlefield, we are also languishing off the battlefield, we are losing hope and we need you to be there, not just as a watcher, but as a friend also. I hope that this has woken you up and made you realise exactly what you are doing, if not, then I guess there's nothing I can do."
Snape sat back, absorbing the rousing speech that Hermione had delivered to him so well. He nodded and stood up to talk to a hopeful Hermione, who had her hopes for 'normalcy' in the Buffy universe pinned on her speech's success. Finally, Snape began in an almost soft tone, "Granger, I'm not sure if you're in your right mind but I believe I have to say this to you now," suddenly his tone became cold, firm and harsh, "Whoever you're talking to does not exist. I am not your wonderful friend 'Giles', I am your potions teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and I am not putting up with such tomfoolery and absolute madness. Granger, you have changed from a friendless know-it-all with her head at least screwed on straight to a bumbling, delusional ditz. Whatever world you think you are in does not exist. If you are trying to change your useless lonely life into an exciting one, think twice; such ridiculousness will not be tolerated. I hope that this speech has sorted you out. Now please leave and good day to you."
With that Snape walked to the door and opened it, motioning for Hermione to leave. She slowly got up with the dreaded glazed look on her face. Her subconscious directed her to the Gryffindor common room where she slipped past her fellow pupils and into her dorm.
Ever so slowly she climbed the stairs and walked into her dorm and took a look around her. On the walls there was Buffy paraphernalia on the walls near her bed, Buffy books on the floor of her bed and a Buffy t-shirt tossed among her belongings. Hermione looked around at the mess of Buffy stuff and slowly walked over to touch the Buffy posters, reeling back when she felt them, as she thought they were fake. She sat down on her bed and stared at the large poster of Buffy and Angel across from her bed and zoned out.
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Meanwhile, down in the common room, Harry and Ron were slaving away over their homework while Dean was rocking back and forth in his chair, obviously feeling the strain from the past few weeks. Harry sighed and rubbed his eyes and looked at Dean, "Hey, are you okay?"
Dean looked around startled and then realised that it was Harry, who was sitting next to him, was talking, he replied in a strangely high pitched voice, "Yes, yes, perfectly fine. Fine, fine, fine."
Harry just nodded and left Dean to his own devices, figuring it was better for him to sort himself out. Across from Harry, Ron growled in frustration and flung his big fat potions text book across the common room, which unfortunately found the head of a defenceless first year. Ron said to Harry, "I cannot do my homework without Hermione. She is the driving force behind my motivation."
"Don't you mean she's the one who does all the answers for you?"
"No. You don't get it do you?" Ron shook his head at Harry as if sad that he didn't know the big secret.
Harry shook his head, "No, I don't get it."
Ron sat back in his chair and sighed, "I guess I'll have to tell you. You see, the only reason I get any homework done is because Hermione guilt's me into it. She does all her homework; therefore I must do MY homework."
Harry just nodded, confused and said, "Okay Ron, if that's what you reckon."
Outraged, Ron jumped to his feet, nearly knocking over Dean, who was no longer just rocking back and forth, he was also muttering to himself. Ron pointed his finger at Harry and yelled, "It is NOT just what I RECKON. IT'S THE DAMN TRUTH!"
At this, Dean fell to the floor in heap with a wailing cry and Harry threw all of his books across the common room, which was met with another loud, "OW!" from the already concussed first year. Harry stood up and squared up to Ron.
Ron, being the wuss that he is slapped Harry and then turned around as if flicking his hair and ran off through the portrait. Harry shook his hair and muttered to himself while stepping over a now whimpering Dean, "Has the whole world gone crazy?"
------------
In the middle of this Hermione had made her way out of the common room and was currently wandering around the halls of Hogwarts, staring at everything in wonder. She was beginning to sort things out. Hermione was rediscovering where she was, who she was and what she was doing at Hogwarts. It was as if she had lived two lives, one in a dream and another in real life, unfortunately for Hermione, she was discovering that her dream life, the one that had seemed so much better, was not real.
Hermione had reached the Entrance Hall and was standing at the entrance to the school. She smiled as she saw Hagrid's hut and the Forbidden Forest, remembering all the things that she had done with Harry and Ron there, back when they were friends of course.
As the sun set, Hermione slowly made her way back up to her dorm room, luckily not meeting anyone on her way. Again, she sat on her bed and stared at her photos of her, Ron and Harry waving and grinning at the camera without a care in the world.
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Harry had managed to track down a nearly hysterical Ron and calmed down Dean enough to get him to sit still and had gathered them in the Gryffindor common room. Harry stood as he got both Dean and Ron seated. As soon as they were Harry gave them both a hit on the back of their heads with his hands. In unison they protested, "Hey! What did you do that for?"
Harry just looked at them. When both of them still had puzzled looks on their faces Harry said, "Need I make an inspirational speech?"
A look of dread passed over Ron's face; he would do anything to avoid an inspirational speech of any form, "Where perfectly fine. I already know what you're going to say."
Dean looked at him with speculation written all over his face, "Do you really now? Would you like to make a wager on that?"
"Yes I do know what he's going to say and no, no wager," Dean looked disappointed, "Harry was going to say that we should snap out of it and be strong for Hermione and not to let things get to us."
Dean looked at Harry for approval. Harry nodded his head and said happily, "I didn't have to say a thing at all, see, we can sort anything out."
At that particular moment, Lavender came rushing into the common room and said to the three boys in a panic, "You guys have got to help me."
Ron stood up first and said, "What's wrong? Are you alright?"
Lavender stopped dead and said to Ron, "I'm fine you dolt," she then resumed her panicked state, "I have a test tomorrow and I can't find Hermione anywhere."
This was met with panic from all three sides, which was followed with the usual 'are you sure?' responses. The three boys feared the worst, that Hermione had decided to do something brash, like save a world that didn't need saving. Parvati soon joined the party in a panic, just for the sake of drama although she soon stopped when she found out why they were panicking, "You guys can't find Hermione?"
There were nods.
Parvati rolled her eyes and said, "She's in the girl's dorm, although she is just sitting there staring at something. But don't worry about her; I told her that dinner's on in a second, she said she'd be coming down."
Harry looked at Dean and Ron, worried about just what Hermione was staring at. Lavender and Parvati decided to leave for dinner, leaving the three boys waiting for Hermione.
Within the minute Hermione was down the stairs, but when she greeted them she didn't say a bubbly hello or anything she looked at her feet while greeting them and seemed to be trying to hide her face. Harry looked at her and asked, "What's wrong Hermione?"
She looked up and said softly, "I'd like to apologise about the whole Buffy thing, I don't know what overcame me."
Ron looked at Hermione incredulously, "You're back?"
Hermione smiled softly and replied, "I guess I'm back. I've sorted everything out," she turned to Dean and said, "Although I have to thank you a ton for doing that, you don't even know me."
With that there was a huge smile on everyone's faces and Hermione went on to hug them because this is the sappy part of the fic and they have to hug for this to be the sappy part.
So, they made their way slowly down to dinner, smiling, laughing and getting reacquainted with sanity. The dream team was back for real and in force at the Gryffindor table except this time with additions, Lavender with her boyfriend Ron and Dean, who had found a new friendship with them.
As Hermione looked around the hall her eyes rested on Draco, who was apparently looking at her. When he gave her a little smile, Hermione realised something that had never occurred to her in all the excessive thinking that she did: she was in love with Draco Malfoy.
Hermione got up out of her seat and ran screaming from the Great Hall.
With a look of panicked dread three boys got up in unison and yelled after her, "Hermione!"
A/N: well that's that. The end. The conclusion. The finish. The cessation. The endoument. Finally, this is the end of all the madness and bad writing. I do plan to write other fics, oh yes, other fics filled with even worse writing and if possible, stupider ideas! Won't you all love it?! Either way, I hope you liked reading this, for that is the purpose of this fic, to enjoy the time spent reading it. A big shout out to all the people who read the fic and an even bigger shout out to those who reviewed (author gets all teary and produces a speech a la Andrew in Chosen) I'd like to thank my partner in crime pencil gal, the garbage man who collects my rubbish, the goldfish that died when I was six.
A/N: mwahahaha! I shall bore you to death with my endless author's notes. I'm feeling awfully evil today and this fanfic shall suffer the consequences. I just read over that last chapter and realised that Draco is so very OOC, but oh well, isn't he always? Read on and.dammit I don't know what I was gonna say but it was going to be good.
Hermione, the one girl in all of Hogwarts who had the power to find the sane people and make them totally insane quickly made her way to the dungeons and, inevitably, Snape's office with a bounce in her step and a smile on her face; she was going to solve all the problems in her extremely small world. The bushy haired girl stood in front of Snape's office a moment before entering in order to wipe the smile off her face and rid her poor mind of Spike-is-one-big-love-bunny thoughts. Composed, Hermione knocked on the door and waited for Snape to call her in.
Snape suddenly snatched the door open, making Hermione jump with fright. He narrowed his eyes at her, "What would you like?"
At his cold tone Hermione shifted her weight from one side to the other and said in a small voice, "I'd like to talk to you about something."
The answer was preceded with a further narrowing of Snape's eyes which made him look like he were squinting at something, "Yes, but be quick about it, I have things to do."
Hermione nodded and followed Snape as he turned around with a big swish of his long black robes, making Hermione scuttle back wards to avoid being hit by them. Taking a seat across from Snape, Hermione noticed that Giles was looking somewhat pale and drawn. Taking a deep breath to calm her Hermione began talking, "Giles, you've been withdrawn from us for a while now. I know that you've been upset over Jenny's.death, but that is no reason to cut us off. You know that there is a battle taking place and you are a watcher; it is your duty to help battle the powers of evil and you are not doing that. Not only are we languishing on the battlefield, we are also languishing off the battlefield, we are losing hope and we need you to be there, not just as a watcher, but as a friend also. I hope that this has woken you up and made you realise exactly what you are doing, if not, then I guess there's nothing I can do."
Snape sat back, absorbing the rousing speech that Hermione had delivered to him so well. He nodded and stood up to talk to a hopeful Hermione, who had her hopes for 'normalcy' in the Buffy universe pinned on her speech's success. Finally, Snape began in an almost soft tone, "Granger, I'm not sure if you're in your right mind but I believe I have to say this to you now," suddenly his tone became cold, firm and harsh, "Whoever you're talking to does not exist. I am not your wonderful friend 'Giles', I am your potions teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and I am not putting up with such tomfoolery and absolute madness. Granger, you have changed from a friendless know-it-all with her head at least screwed on straight to a bumbling, delusional ditz. Whatever world you think you are in does not exist. If you are trying to change your useless lonely life into an exciting one, think twice; such ridiculousness will not be tolerated. I hope that this speech has sorted you out. Now please leave and good day to you."
With that Snape walked to the door and opened it, motioning for Hermione to leave. She slowly got up with the dreaded glazed look on her face. Her subconscious directed her to the Gryffindor common room where she slipped past her fellow pupils and into her dorm.
Ever so slowly she climbed the stairs and walked into her dorm and took a look around her. On the walls there was Buffy paraphernalia on the walls near her bed, Buffy books on the floor of her bed and a Buffy t-shirt tossed among her belongings. Hermione looked around at the mess of Buffy stuff and slowly walked over to touch the Buffy posters, reeling back when she felt them, as she thought they were fake. She sat down on her bed and stared at the large poster of Buffy and Angel across from her bed and zoned out.
-------------
Meanwhile, down in the common room, Harry and Ron were slaving away over their homework while Dean was rocking back and forth in his chair, obviously feeling the strain from the past few weeks. Harry sighed and rubbed his eyes and looked at Dean, "Hey, are you okay?"
Dean looked around startled and then realised that it was Harry, who was sitting next to him, was talking, he replied in a strangely high pitched voice, "Yes, yes, perfectly fine. Fine, fine, fine."
Harry just nodded and left Dean to his own devices, figuring it was better for him to sort himself out. Across from Harry, Ron growled in frustration and flung his big fat potions text book across the common room, which unfortunately found the head of a defenceless first year. Ron said to Harry, "I cannot do my homework without Hermione. She is the driving force behind my motivation."
"Don't you mean she's the one who does all the answers for you?"
"No. You don't get it do you?" Ron shook his head at Harry as if sad that he didn't know the big secret.
Harry shook his head, "No, I don't get it."
Ron sat back in his chair and sighed, "I guess I'll have to tell you. You see, the only reason I get any homework done is because Hermione guilt's me into it. She does all her homework; therefore I must do MY homework."
Harry just nodded, confused and said, "Okay Ron, if that's what you reckon."
Outraged, Ron jumped to his feet, nearly knocking over Dean, who was no longer just rocking back and forth, he was also muttering to himself. Ron pointed his finger at Harry and yelled, "It is NOT just what I RECKON. IT'S THE DAMN TRUTH!"
At this, Dean fell to the floor in heap with a wailing cry and Harry threw all of his books across the common room, which was met with another loud, "OW!" from the already concussed first year. Harry stood up and squared up to Ron.
Ron, being the wuss that he is slapped Harry and then turned around as if flicking his hair and ran off through the portrait. Harry shook his hair and muttered to himself while stepping over a now whimpering Dean, "Has the whole world gone crazy?"
------------
In the middle of this Hermione had made her way out of the common room and was currently wandering around the halls of Hogwarts, staring at everything in wonder. She was beginning to sort things out. Hermione was rediscovering where she was, who she was and what she was doing at Hogwarts. It was as if she had lived two lives, one in a dream and another in real life, unfortunately for Hermione, she was discovering that her dream life, the one that had seemed so much better, was not real.
Hermione had reached the Entrance Hall and was standing at the entrance to the school. She smiled as she saw Hagrid's hut and the Forbidden Forest, remembering all the things that she had done with Harry and Ron there, back when they were friends of course.
As the sun set, Hermione slowly made her way back up to her dorm room, luckily not meeting anyone on her way. Again, she sat on her bed and stared at her photos of her, Ron and Harry waving and grinning at the camera without a care in the world.
---------
Harry had managed to track down a nearly hysterical Ron and calmed down Dean enough to get him to sit still and had gathered them in the Gryffindor common room. Harry stood as he got both Dean and Ron seated. As soon as they were Harry gave them both a hit on the back of their heads with his hands. In unison they protested, "Hey! What did you do that for?"
Harry just looked at them. When both of them still had puzzled looks on their faces Harry said, "Need I make an inspirational speech?"
A look of dread passed over Ron's face; he would do anything to avoid an inspirational speech of any form, "Where perfectly fine. I already know what you're going to say."
Dean looked at him with speculation written all over his face, "Do you really now? Would you like to make a wager on that?"
"Yes I do know what he's going to say and no, no wager," Dean looked disappointed, "Harry was going to say that we should snap out of it and be strong for Hermione and not to let things get to us."
Dean looked at Harry for approval. Harry nodded his head and said happily, "I didn't have to say a thing at all, see, we can sort anything out."
At that particular moment, Lavender came rushing into the common room and said to the three boys in a panic, "You guys have got to help me."
Ron stood up first and said, "What's wrong? Are you alright?"
Lavender stopped dead and said to Ron, "I'm fine you dolt," she then resumed her panicked state, "I have a test tomorrow and I can't find Hermione anywhere."
This was met with panic from all three sides, which was followed with the usual 'are you sure?' responses. The three boys feared the worst, that Hermione had decided to do something brash, like save a world that didn't need saving. Parvati soon joined the party in a panic, just for the sake of drama although she soon stopped when she found out why they were panicking, "You guys can't find Hermione?"
There were nods.
Parvati rolled her eyes and said, "She's in the girl's dorm, although she is just sitting there staring at something. But don't worry about her; I told her that dinner's on in a second, she said she'd be coming down."
Harry looked at Dean and Ron, worried about just what Hermione was staring at. Lavender and Parvati decided to leave for dinner, leaving the three boys waiting for Hermione.
Within the minute Hermione was down the stairs, but when she greeted them she didn't say a bubbly hello or anything she looked at her feet while greeting them and seemed to be trying to hide her face. Harry looked at her and asked, "What's wrong Hermione?"
She looked up and said softly, "I'd like to apologise about the whole Buffy thing, I don't know what overcame me."
Ron looked at Hermione incredulously, "You're back?"
Hermione smiled softly and replied, "I guess I'm back. I've sorted everything out," she turned to Dean and said, "Although I have to thank you a ton for doing that, you don't even know me."
With that there was a huge smile on everyone's faces and Hermione went on to hug them because this is the sappy part of the fic and they have to hug for this to be the sappy part.
So, they made their way slowly down to dinner, smiling, laughing and getting reacquainted with sanity. The dream team was back for real and in force at the Gryffindor table except this time with additions, Lavender with her boyfriend Ron and Dean, who had found a new friendship with them.
As Hermione looked around the hall her eyes rested on Draco, who was apparently looking at her. When he gave her a little smile, Hermione realised something that had never occurred to her in all the excessive thinking that she did: she was in love with Draco Malfoy.
Hermione got up out of her seat and ran screaming from the Great Hall.
With a look of panicked dread three boys got up in unison and yelled after her, "Hermione!"
A/N: well that's that. The end. The conclusion. The finish. The cessation. The endoument. Finally, this is the end of all the madness and bad writing. I do plan to write other fics, oh yes, other fics filled with even worse writing and if possible, stupider ideas! Won't you all love it?! Either way, I hope you liked reading this, for that is the purpose of this fic, to enjoy the time spent reading it. A big shout out to all the people who read the fic and an even bigger shout out to those who reviewed (author gets all teary and produces a speech a la Andrew in Chosen) I'd like to thank my partner in crime pencil gal, the garbage man who collects my rubbish, the goldfish that died when I was six.