*hugs all reviewers and thanks them for caring that much about Erik*
The Phantom Parisienne: How can any one person be this kind?? Thank you, thank you, thank you!! About quoting me – if you feel you would like to then it would be an honour to be quoted by someone. As long as there are stories in my head, I will write till my last day… it's just whether or not I actually have enough inspiration to finish them. If you didn't notice, I'm always unhappy with my chapters – I'm just too much of a perfectionist to ever be content with what I've written. Again – thank you, thank you, thank you!! *smiles happily* Oh, and you reviewed my two little poems – so, thank you, thank you!!
Kates: Thank you so much. Oh, about the end – sorry to leave you on such a cliff-hanger but I couldn't help myself… If you repeat your mantra loud enough then it might just work… (I know from experience).
Midasgirl: Yes, I'm British. Thank you for your review. And the only reason I'm getting the chapters up quickly is because of the inspiration I get from all my lovely reviewers. As for calling my teacher a moron – I'm afraid I tend to agree… And as for the cliff-hanger – sorry to have to make you wait but I thought finishing the chapter there would be more appropriate than going into a big conversation (I hate writing long pieces of dialogue because I find writing it hard). If you die of suspense – I will be indirectly responsible, won't I? So hold on, just for me…
Ash: I couldn't possibly release that sort of information about Erik… you should find out soon enough… And, I seem to be managing about a chapter a day so I'm doing well compared to myself usually…
Badly Drawn Girl2: You wrote me a very lovely review and I thank you. I'm glad you liked the last chapter and the cliff-hanger should be resolved soon. Your reviews of my poems made me very happy and I'm thrilled that you found them worthy of your favourites list.
maelinya: Yes, I know it would be torture on him but if I ever happen to do something to him that would hurt him tremendously – you must remember that Erik is my favourite and I'm not in a habit of giving him only pain… there will be some sort of light at the end of his tunnel… I'm happy you liked my portrayal of Erik and I should be writing the next chapter soon – in between poems. Anyway, I think I'll be heading down to the pet shop now *wink* to… umm… buy some chipmunks… thanks for the idea and for adding me to your favourites list!!
Phantom Aria: If you're reading this – thanks for reviewing one of my poems!
Lavendar: Thank you and I am also hoping he will be alright – I have a few things yet to come his way…
And back to the story…
Chapter 6 – Life – the equivalent of a drop from a twelve storey building…
"…and down the waterfall,
Wherever it may take me,
I know that life won't break me…"
Christine
Life really is the equivalent of a drop from a twelve storey building… I started realising that the second Erik asked me his distressing question a few hours ago. His eyes had rolled up into the back of his head as he became unconscious once more before I could even comprehend what he had meant. But when the shock cleared I knew the significance of life…
After all, the start of life is painful like making that first step over the edge of the roof. Then life starts to improve in childhood – a feeling that could be interpreted as happiness though it's really just ignorance because they don't know what pain lies ahead in their lives or what pain lies at the end of the fall… The farther they get through life the slower it seems to go and as they fall the people in the buildings are the counterparts of their families as they watch their lives go by in the drop. Each floor represents a stage in life and as they near the bottom they have the realisation that death is in front of their eyes, which had remained closed, unaware of the danger, until this point. However painful the fall was, it is the hit at the bottom that has no parallel – for no man really fears death, only the event that takes him there…
Also, I realise that every person has something, whatever it may be, that helps them to slow the fall down, make life seem better, defy the forces… This something helps to make the end less painful in their minds… but it cannot save them from death…
Well, Erik's something is music…
But his music is beyond powerful… it does, despite everything, have the input of an angel… so what if his music is stronger than the usual somethings? What if he already made the fall and it saved him…? But what if it couldn't save him "intact?" What if he lost something in the collision that couldn't be replaced…? What if life broke him…?
I finally understood that life couldn't break me as long as Erik was by my side – he wouldn't let it… and it is down to him that my father's death was not already the crash at the bottom of my fall… But life had broken him… it had left him like a house without walls, a table without legs… a violin without strings… each serving no immediate purpose and yet they still exist… But for how long…? How long can the violin last before it rots into the ground…? How long before it could never be described as something that ever made music…? How long before it doesn't exist…? How long…?
I wondered if Erik would even waken up this time – had the shock of what he might have lost been too much…? He could be slipping away from me as every minute merges into an hour and as time is increasingly against him… I could still lose him… He could still go…
And if he did, would I ever know him again? Or would he realise I effectively am incredibly responsible if he dies? Would he even go to Heaven? Of course he would! All angels belong in Heaven! Would I…? Would he wait for me?
Christine, what are you saying?! Of course, Erik would wait for you! It is you he got himself into this state for anyway… He would not only wait for you but he would lead you the right way… He would take you by the hand, as you would be a stranger in this glory, and he would lead you through its land until you were finally at peace… Then, he truly would be the angel and again you would be his to teach… for ever and a day! He would open his arms to his love in Heaven and would tell you that he had finally realised you cared… You could actually be together at peace… Peace…
I will always remember the way his eyes shone like stars, the way his music radiated in the night – beauty itself. I cannot forget the warmth of his heart in the cold, cold world, or the splendour of his words in the darkness that was his home for so long… And though he would be gone before me, I would never quite be alone… he would be a part of me… the best part. Alone – we would be together, and together – we would be alone… And when I leave the Earth, I will leave together with him… And with us true love will die too… to make it into Peace with us… As life fades and light leaves – love dies!
Little in life remains true – memories grow fainter as each day passes, feelings collapse as new things happen, happiness ebbs away as every river flows and hope is blown away on the wind… but life cannot take away the purest of feelings… although it may seem that it can… genuine feelings do not change even when clouded by other thoughts. So I can be sure that whatever happens I can still be with Erik – for now that I can see what I'm losing, I know that it is all I ever wanted…
To be with him, in true love, for ever and a day…
A/N: I'm afraid you'll all have to wait until the next chapter (Erik's POV) to see if Erik wakens up, again… and it seems I have not yet answered the question you all were asking… I think one more day of suspense won't kill you… Umm… yes… I hope not anyway… I will get around to it but I just have so many more ideas to bring into this story that I had to delay the answer of one of the most terrifying questions a phan could ask… *shudders* If I have it my way, my muse will make things better but… when do I ever get it my way?!
UPDATED A/N: I am, for some reason or another, getting tremendously fed up with this story because it is not exactly flowing the way I had first intended… And, I know how I want to make some of the later chapters but there is a gap I am annoyed to have to fill. Perhaps, I will have to take a break from it for a few days until I find writing it to be more interesting… All I know is that there will be no chapter today… But, please remember that I had not intended to leave the story hanging for another day – it just turned out that way…
Deepest apologies
~ Kirsty
Ash: Thanks. Sorry if the last chapter was confusing but I was writing it early in the morning and it was basically just what was on my mind.
Lavendar: I'm very pleased people still like it because I tend to write things more concerning the mind than actions and dialogue. I don't really know why… I just seem to write about things that are not exactly tangible – more abstract. Hmm… Thank you.
maelinya: The truth will find its way to this phic in time… Actually, I, personally, thought that all six chapters were depressing in their own large ways… Anyway, I suppose I should say that I have no plans to bring death into the matter… at least, not yet… there are more things to be thrown at them first… Yes, I know… I sound heartless but I couldn't possibly resist… However, I will remind everyone that this story is E/C… and I mean to the bitter end… whatever I do will not separate them, as such… because I, myself, couldn't bear it if it did…