Mysterious Mysteries is officially the best episode... IN ALL THE LAND!!!
Here's the chappe where you find out what happened to Gaz, (that was how I planned it anyway) And meet Skoodge and his SIR!
No own. And it's a very creepy coincidence, I HAVE read LOTR, and Gollum is my favorite character! How did you knoooow? *pause* A SPY! *chases after Invader Zin*
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It is a well known fact that if you get a good lungfull of air, you can survive in the vacuum of space for about thirty seconds, which is good to know if you're in the habit of doing that sort of thing. Zim and Dib had between them, four good lungfulls (well, breathing apparatuses anyway) of air, but it wasn't likely to do them any good, as the odds of being rescued in that span of time, when the infiniteness of the universe is considered, are astronomical.
This happened to be a very lucky day for both of them.
Seconds later, if you were looking for them, you would find them gulping air on what was, to all intents and purposes, a gigantic mound of Jell-O. GIR, who obviously didn't need air, was sitting beside them, squeaking a toy moose in their respective faces.
"What... happened...?" Dib gasped.
"We... were... picked... up... you... stupid... stupid... human..." Zim panted.
Dib frowned, but his frown changed to a look of confusion as the ground under his feet began to curl upwards, flinging him painfully onto Zim.
"Get your human filthiness off of-- Aaaaaa!" Zim said, before the square of ground beneath him shot upwards depositing him hundreds of feet in the air, and then retracting, leaving Zim inexplicably hovering. "THIS SHOULDN'T BE!" he cried.
Dib snickered at his rival's position, until his head began to drift away from his body. "Hey! This isn't funny!" he called, chasing after his freakishly large head. An ocean drifted by above them, and several pink fish walked across a bridge.
"Wheeeee!" cried GIR, dancing on a hovering sphere with several giant floating hamburgers.
"Two to the power of seven thousand to one against and falling." A familiar female voice pierced the havoc.
"What was that?" Dib asked, reattaching his head, which had shrunken to half it's normal size. Zim was entangled in a massive net of seaweed that had appeared out of nowhere and would have been too distracted to respond even if he knew.
"Two to the power of eighteen hundred to one against and falling." The voice continued. "Two to the power of ninety to one against and falling. Twelve to one and falling. Five to one. Four... three... two... one. We have normalcy, I repeat, we have normalcy. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem." The insanity faded, things returned to what passed for normal. They were now in a smallish, nondescript white room.
Dib's first and only thought at the moment was how much the voice had sounded like Gaz. Of course, that made no sense, and it was so garbled anyway, it could easily have been a mistake. He dismissed it, there were more pressing matters to deal with at the moment.
"What's going on? What was that voice? Why were fish flying over my head? Why, why why???" he cried, nearing hysterics.
"That was a side effect of the infinite improbability drive," Zim explained condecendingly, desperate for Dib to shut up, "It uses improbability circuits to move through space, so you can go anywhere as long as you know just how unlikely it is that you will actually get there." Dib blinked.
---Meanwhile---
On the bridge of the Heart of Gold, a ship that happened to be equipped with an infinite improbability drive, and that happened to be the ship that Zim, Dib, and GIR were on, Gaz switched off a microphone purposefully. It was completely unnecessary to do such a mundane task purposefully, but a full-time gamer like Gaz does everything purposefully.
"Thanks, Gaz." Invader Skoodge, one of the shortest Invaders in Irken history, said gratefully.
"Whatever. Don't say I don't earn my keep here." Gaz replied, walking into the next room where a gigantic screen and a complex controller awaited. She sat down and began playing Blam Blam Blow Stuff Up. "You know," she said, distracted, "I really wish we could get a visual on those two things we picked up. I have a weird feeling about them." (A/N: Yessss, you like how ooc that was, don't you?)
Skoodge raised his nonexistent eyebrows. Gaz almost never spoke while gaming, besides threats of what might happen if he didn't leave her alone. "I... guess I could send the robot to get them..." he said with mild unease. Gaz shrugged.
"SIR!" Skoodge called, "I've got a job for you!"
The little red and white robot, who until now had been sitting in a corner, sulkily burning a hole through a nonessential piece of machinery, lifted his head with greatly exaggerated effort. Slowly, he stood, being sure to move just in the right way to make several loud creaking sounds, just to make a point. Painfully slow, he trudged across the room to the impatiently waiting invader. "Yes, my master?" he asked, with just a hint of sarcasm.
"I need you to escort the two hitchhikers we picked up to the bridge." Skoodge said simply, hoping futilely the robot would comply without a fuss.
"I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed." SIR said, not seeming to even hear the order.
Skoodge placed his upper lip over his lower one, in an expression of frustration "Can you just DO it without any fuss?" he asked.
This seemed to only make things worse. "Can I do it? Can I do it? Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and they ask me if I can baby-sit two hitchhikers on the way to the bridge. Why do I even bother with it all? Oh God I'm depressed."
"SIR ... That is an order." Skoodge said firmly, his tone bordering on threatening. SIR fixed a hard look on him for a moment, then turned and walked out the door. "Zarking robot..." Skoodge said, trying to hide the trace of a smile that was crossing his lips.
---Meanwhile---
All argued out, and both with one or two small bruises, Zim and Dib sat at opposite ends of the room, glaring at each other, while GIR serenaded them with the Doom Song. Dib opened his mouth to say something, but whatever he was going to say would be lost to the ages, for at that moment a door at the end of the room slid open and an infant-sized figure stood silhouetted in the doorframe. Zim immediately recognized it as a SIR, Dib was simply struck by how similar it looked to Zim's robot, which meant only one thing in his mind.
"Ha! I knew you were behind this Zim!"
"Shut you filthy stench hole! ... Though this must be of Irken design. Of course, who else could build such an AMAZING ship? That means we're safe. Or at least *I* am." Zim added.
"If you two are finished with your pointless bickering, I'm supposed to escort you to the bridge. Though if you want to sit around and chat a while longer, I'll be more than happy to tell them I found you both dead." The SIR in the doorframe droned. Zim was more than a little surprised, he had always known SIRs to be respectful and energetic. Then again, maybe this was a new, or advanced model... though surely not as advanced as GIR. The SIR turned solemnly, and Zim and GIR followed. Dib stared for a moment, then, shrugging, went after them.
-------
Now, that thing you're feeling now is what we call "confusion", but don't worry, the next chapter will detail how Gaz got there, what happened with Skoodge and Blorch, and where they will go next. (though if you've read, you know the last one:c)
Also, I've figured out a way to get over the BOTP issues, but I can ONLY use it if I continue to The Moose Room at the End of the Universe, straight on to Mostly Armless, or at least Young Skoodge Plays it Safe. That, combined with the fact that I have the COOLEST idea for Agrajag, makes it likely for the series to be continued:c) Skiya!
Here's the chappe where you find out what happened to Gaz, (that was how I planned it anyway) And meet Skoodge and his SIR!
No own. And it's a very creepy coincidence, I HAVE read LOTR, and Gollum is my favorite character! How did you knoooow? *pause* A SPY! *chases after Invader Zin*
------
It is a well known fact that if you get a good lungfull of air, you can survive in the vacuum of space for about thirty seconds, which is good to know if you're in the habit of doing that sort of thing. Zim and Dib had between them, four good lungfulls (well, breathing apparatuses anyway) of air, but it wasn't likely to do them any good, as the odds of being rescued in that span of time, when the infiniteness of the universe is considered, are astronomical.
This happened to be a very lucky day for both of them.
Seconds later, if you were looking for them, you would find them gulping air on what was, to all intents and purposes, a gigantic mound of Jell-O. GIR, who obviously didn't need air, was sitting beside them, squeaking a toy moose in their respective faces.
"What... happened...?" Dib gasped.
"We... were... picked... up... you... stupid... stupid... human..." Zim panted.
Dib frowned, but his frown changed to a look of confusion as the ground under his feet began to curl upwards, flinging him painfully onto Zim.
"Get your human filthiness off of-- Aaaaaa!" Zim said, before the square of ground beneath him shot upwards depositing him hundreds of feet in the air, and then retracting, leaving Zim inexplicably hovering. "THIS SHOULDN'T BE!" he cried.
Dib snickered at his rival's position, until his head began to drift away from his body. "Hey! This isn't funny!" he called, chasing after his freakishly large head. An ocean drifted by above them, and several pink fish walked across a bridge.
"Wheeeee!" cried GIR, dancing on a hovering sphere with several giant floating hamburgers.
"Two to the power of seven thousand to one against and falling." A familiar female voice pierced the havoc.
"What was that?" Dib asked, reattaching his head, which had shrunken to half it's normal size. Zim was entangled in a massive net of seaweed that had appeared out of nowhere and would have been too distracted to respond even if he knew.
"Two to the power of eighteen hundred to one against and falling." The voice continued. "Two to the power of ninety to one against and falling. Twelve to one and falling. Five to one. Four... three... two... one. We have normalcy, I repeat, we have normalcy. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem." The insanity faded, things returned to what passed for normal. They were now in a smallish, nondescript white room.
Dib's first and only thought at the moment was how much the voice had sounded like Gaz. Of course, that made no sense, and it was so garbled anyway, it could easily have been a mistake. He dismissed it, there were more pressing matters to deal with at the moment.
"What's going on? What was that voice? Why were fish flying over my head? Why, why why???" he cried, nearing hysterics.
"That was a side effect of the infinite improbability drive," Zim explained condecendingly, desperate for Dib to shut up, "It uses improbability circuits to move through space, so you can go anywhere as long as you know just how unlikely it is that you will actually get there." Dib blinked.
---Meanwhile---
On the bridge of the Heart of Gold, a ship that happened to be equipped with an infinite improbability drive, and that happened to be the ship that Zim, Dib, and GIR were on, Gaz switched off a microphone purposefully. It was completely unnecessary to do such a mundane task purposefully, but a full-time gamer like Gaz does everything purposefully.
"Thanks, Gaz." Invader Skoodge, one of the shortest Invaders in Irken history, said gratefully.
"Whatever. Don't say I don't earn my keep here." Gaz replied, walking into the next room where a gigantic screen and a complex controller awaited. She sat down and began playing Blam Blam Blow Stuff Up. "You know," she said, distracted, "I really wish we could get a visual on those two things we picked up. I have a weird feeling about them." (A/N: Yessss, you like how ooc that was, don't you?)
Skoodge raised his nonexistent eyebrows. Gaz almost never spoke while gaming, besides threats of what might happen if he didn't leave her alone. "I... guess I could send the robot to get them..." he said with mild unease. Gaz shrugged.
"SIR!" Skoodge called, "I've got a job for you!"
The little red and white robot, who until now had been sitting in a corner, sulkily burning a hole through a nonessential piece of machinery, lifted his head with greatly exaggerated effort. Slowly, he stood, being sure to move just in the right way to make several loud creaking sounds, just to make a point. Painfully slow, he trudged across the room to the impatiently waiting invader. "Yes, my master?" he asked, with just a hint of sarcasm.
"I need you to escort the two hitchhikers we picked up to the bridge." Skoodge said simply, hoping futilely the robot would comply without a fuss.
"I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed." SIR said, not seeming to even hear the order.
Skoodge placed his upper lip over his lower one, in an expression of frustration "Can you just DO it without any fuss?" he asked.
This seemed to only make things worse. "Can I do it? Can I do it? Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and they ask me if I can baby-sit two hitchhikers on the way to the bridge. Why do I even bother with it all? Oh God I'm depressed."
"SIR ... That is an order." Skoodge said firmly, his tone bordering on threatening. SIR fixed a hard look on him for a moment, then turned and walked out the door. "Zarking robot..." Skoodge said, trying to hide the trace of a smile that was crossing his lips.
---Meanwhile---
All argued out, and both with one or two small bruises, Zim and Dib sat at opposite ends of the room, glaring at each other, while GIR serenaded them with the Doom Song. Dib opened his mouth to say something, but whatever he was going to say would be lost to the ages, for at that moment a door at the end of the room slid open and an infant-sized figure stood silhouetted in the doorframe. Zim immediately recognized it as a SIR, Dib was simply struck by how similar it looked to Zim's robot, which meant only one thing in his mind.
"Ha! I knew you were behind this Zim!"
"Shut you filthy stench hole! ... Though this must be of Irken design. Of course, who else could build such an AMAZING ship? That means we're safe. Or at least *I* am." Zim added.
"If you two are finished with your pointless bickering, I'm supposed to escort you to the bridge. Though if you want to sit around and chat a while longer, I'll be more than happy to tell them I found you both dead." The SIR in the doorframe droned. Zim was more than a little surprised, he had always known SIRs to be respectful and energetic. Then again, maybe this was a new, or advanced model... though surely not as advanced as GIR. The SIR turned solemnly, and Zim and GIR followed. Dib stared for a moment, then, shrugging, went after them.
-------
Now, that thing you're feeling now is what we call "confusion", but don't worry, the next chapter will detail how Gaz got there, what happened with Skoodge and Blorch, and where they will go next. (though if you've read, you know the last one:c)
Also, I've figured out a way to get over the BOTP issues, but I can ONLY use it if I continue to The Moose Room at the End of the Universe, straight on to Mostly Armless, or at least Young Skoodge Plays it Safe. That, combined with the fact that I have the COOLEST idea for Agrajag, makes it likely for the series to be continued:c) Skiya!