I know some people are lined up outside my door, ready to tear my arms off and shove them up my nose if I don't finish WFA soon, but I don't wanna. Nyah. So stop it, or I'll turn the riot hose on you! I'll finish WFA when I darn well FEEL like it^_~ Promise.
And I found the Hitchiker Tapes in my library, I don't know where you can get any, sorry.
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"We'll land here. Zim said commandingly. Skoodge nodded and steered the Heart of Gold towards a barren patch. The two Irkens stood seperate from the others. Any casual observer to the scene would notice a curious discrepancy in traditional Irken relationships. Since both Zim and Skoodge were of the same height and rank, Skoodge should have been the dominant personality due to his ownership of the vessel they were riding. Yet not only had Zim assumed the commanding role almost instantly, Skoodge seemed all too happy to comply.
At least part of this might be attributed to a few of the genetic growth techniques applied to Skoodge as a pod baby. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy breifly mentions the little-known lazer vision experiments of the mediocre Irken scientist Flamn. It then goes on to mention that a group of scientists, using Flamn's studies, once set out to develop an Irken soldier equipped with lazer vision. This was unnecessary, since the standard issue ID Paks contained several lazers more than adequate for self-defense, but they thought lazer vision would be cool. This task proved difficult, however, as Irken eyes were by nature just as unable to withstand a lazer being shot out of them as they would withstand a lazer being shot into them. Luckily, due to an alarmingly fortunate coincidence, there existed at the time a line of SIR Units with organic matter as a part of their makeup. By incorperating part of the SIR DNA into a dozen Irken Smeets, they hoped to fix the problems involved with the eyeballs melting.
The result was a dozen shorter-than-average Irkens without lazer vision and with servile personalities. The experiment was deemed a failure, and the smeeets were allowed to enter society where they would be dubbed: "Those dorks with no lazer vision."
To Skoodge, as to any Irken, the circumstances surrounding his origin and Smeethood were very inconsequential. It should still be noted, however, that one month after Blortch was eaten by the Star Goat, the first lazer test subject, Ooblek, managed to blow up a building with his eyes. No further such incidents were recorded.
The ship touched down and the six made their way across the planet's surface. It was cold, it was grey, it was unpleasant. At first it was shockingly dull, then, as one grew adjusted to the terrain it became more of a repetitive nothingness, finally degrading into all-out tedium. After that it went into a bit of a lull. All in all, certainly not deserving of the reaction Dib was giving it.
"Wow!" he repeated for the eighteenth time. "This is incredible!"
"Awfully easily impressed, isn't he?" Skoodge muttered. Zim just scowled. Not even GIR's amazingly high pitched and wildly inaccurate version of 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star' lifted anyone's mood. Certainly not SIR's.
"I realize I'm not able to feel temperature, but nevertheless I'm cold. Not that I'd have suggested staying on the ship. I truly despise that vessel, and being alone on it would be miserable indeed. I despise being alone, the only thing worse is being with other people. Are you lost?"
"Do not question my navigational skills, robot! I am ZIM!"
"So you've mentioned. Then I suppose you've been trying to avoid the entrance?"
"Eh?"
"The opening in the planet's surface that leads to the interior. The one you've been wandering in circles around for the last hour." SIR gestured to a small crater several yards away. "You've not yet approached it, so I assume you were trying to avoid it" he finished, in a voice dripping with sarcasm.
They approached. Inside the crater was a large crack in the ground, as well as what appeared to be the rotting skeleton of a sperm whale. They walked to the edge of the crack and peered into it.
"How do we even know anything's down there?" Dib asked. Gaz answered his question by pushing him in.
"Is there anything down there?" she called. Dib just whimpered. GIR jumped in next, because GIR likes to jump into things. It was clear from the noises that followed he had landed on Dib.
"GIR! What do you see?" called Zim.
"Lots and lots of pretty stuff!" GIR replied.
Zim sighed with measured patience. "Yes, yes, what KIND of pretty stuff, GIR?"
"DARKNESS!"
Zim shook his head and carefully lowered himself in using his robotic legs. Skoodge followed suit. The tunnel was well lit enough that there was an acceptable, if uncomfortably low level of visibility. They looked around. There was a reasonably clear path that they could follow without getting lost, but there was always the possibility that it would branch off later.
"Maybe Gaz and SIR should stay back, in case we get lost..." suggested Skoodge. Zim nodded confirmation. "Gaz!" Skoodge yelled, angling his head up at the crevice above. "Gaz! Can you hear me?"
"What?" Gaz asked from behind him. He turned around. Gaz and SIR were standing quite calmly inches away from him. He gaped. "We used the elevator." Gaz said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Pineapples!" GIR suddenly screeched, clamping onto Dib's leg because he is GIR. Dib screamed and tried to shake him off, falling into a gigantic pile of rocks and rubble which tumbled over, causing the entire tunnel to shake.
Gaz shook her head. "Maybe YOU two should stay guard. You'll be away from us then."
"But..." Dib protested, "I want to see what this place is like! You can't expect me to spend my first day on an alien planet sitting around next to a whale skeleton! Where did that whale skeleton come from anyway?"
"You will do as you are told, Dib-slime, or suffer the wrath of ZIM!" Zim cried, shifting into a glare.
"And another thing!" cried Dib, returning the glare, "I'm not taking orders from HIM!" Dib pointed at Zim and gritted his teeth on the last word.
"You horrible, wretched human!" Zim shouted.
"You.. uh..." Dib faltered.
"It's hard when you can't say 'alien,' huh Dib?" Zim said smugly.
"Shut up, you horrible... jerk!" cried Dib. "I don't need to take this! And no force in the universe is going to make me stand guard for you!"
Predictably, it was at that moment that GIR entered one of his random fits of jumping on heads. He latched onto Dib's trademarked hair spike and swung around shouting "Weeeoo, weeeoo, weeeee!" Dib cried in pain and tumbled backwards into the elevator. Gaz smiled slightly and hit the 'up' button. Dib and GIR were now on the surface.
"Well?" Gaz asked, "Are we going to stand here all day, or are we moving?"
And I found the Hitchiker Tapes in my library, I don't know where you can get any, sorry.
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"We'll land here. Zim said commandingly. Skoodge nodded and steered the Heart of Gold towards a barren patch. The two Irkens stood seperate from the others. Any casual observer to the scene would notice a curious discrepancy in traditional Irken relationships. Since both Zim and Skoodge were of the same height and rank, Skoodge should have been the dominant personality due to his ownership of the vessel they were riding. Yet not only had Zim assumed the commanding role almost instantly, Skoodge seemed all too happy to comply.
At least part of this might be attributed to a few of the genetic growth techniques applied to Skoodge as a pod baby. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy breifly mentions the little-known lazer vision experiments of the mediocre Irken scientist Flamn. It then goes on to mention that a group of scientists, using Flamn's studies, once set out to develop an Irken soldier equipped with lazer vision. This was unnecessary, since the standard issue ID Paks contained several lazers more than adequate for self-defense, but they thought lazer vision would be cool. This task proved difficult, however, as Irken eyes were by nature just as unable to withstand a lazer being shot out of them as they would withstand a lazer being shot into them. Luckily, due to an alarmingly fortunate coincidence, there existed at the time a line of SIR Units with organic matter as a part of their makeup. By incorperating part of the SIR DNA into a dozen Irken Smeets, they hoped to fix the problems involved with the eyeballs melting.
The result was a dozen shorter-than-average Irkens without lazer vision and with servile personalities. The experiment was deemed a failure, and the smeeets were allowed to enter society where they would be dubbed: "Those dorks with no lazer vision."
To Skoodge, as to any Irken, the circumstances surrounding his origin and Smeethood were very inconsequential. It should still be noted, however, that one month after Blortch was eaten by the Star Goat, the first lazer test subject, Ooblek, managed to blow up a building with his eyes. No further such incidents were recorded.
The ship touched down and the six made their way across the planet's surface. It was cold, it was grey, it was unpleasant. At first it was shockingly dull, then, as one grew adjusted to the terrain it became more of a repetitive nothingness, finally degrading into all-out tedium. After that it went into a bit of a lull. All in all, certainly not deserving of the reaction Dib was giving it.
"Wow!" he repeated for the eighteenth time. "This is incredible!"
"Awfully easily impressed, isn't he?" Skoodge muttered. Zim just scowled. Not even GIR's amazingly high pitched and wildly inaccurate version of 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star' lifted anyone's mood. Certainly not SIR's.
"I realize I'm not able to feel temperature, but nevertheless I'm cold. Not that I'd have suggested staying on the ship. I truly despise that vessel, and being alone on it would be miserable indeed. I despise being alone, the only thing worse is being with other people. Are you lost?"
"Do not question my navigational skills, robot! I am ZIM!"
"So you've mentioned. Then I suppose you've been trying to avoid the entrance?"
"Eh?"
"The opening in the planet's surface that leads to the interior. The one you've been wandering in circles around for the last hour." SIR gestured to a small crater several yards away. "You've not yet approached it, so I assume you were trying to avoid it" he finished, in a voice dripping with sarcasm.
They approached. Inside the crater was a large crack in the ground, as well as what appeared to be the rotting skeleton of a sperm whale. They walked to the edge of the crack and peered into it.
"How do we even know anything's down there?" Dib asked. Gaz answered his question by pushing him in.
"Is there anything down there?" she called. Dib just whimpered. GIR jumped in next, because GIR likes to jump into things. It was clear from the noises that followed he had landed on Dib.
"GIR! What do you see?" called Zim.
"Lots and lots of pretty stuff!" GIR replied.
Zim sighed with measured patience. "Yes, yes, what KIND of pretty stuff, GIR?"
"DARKNESS!"
Zim shook his head and carefully lowered himself in using his robotic legs. Skoodge followed suit. The tunnel was well lit enough that there was an acceptable, if uncomfortably low level of visibility. They looked around. There was a reasonably clear path that they could follow without getting lost, but there was always the possibility that it would branch off later.
"Maybe Gaz and SIR should stay back, in case we get lost..." suggested Skoodge. Zim nodded confirmation. "Gaz!" Skoodge yelled, angling his head up at the crevice above. "Gaz! Can you hear me?"
"What?" Gaz asked from behind him. He turned around. Gaz and SIR were standing quite calmly inches away from him. He gaped. "We used the elevator." Gaz said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Pineapples!" GIR suddenly screeched, clamping onto Dib's leg because he is GIR. Dib screamed and tried to shake him off, falling into a gigantic pile of rocks and rubble which tumbled over, causing the entire tunnel to shake.
Gaz shook her head. "Maybe YOU two should stay guard. You'll be away from us then."
"But..." Dib protested, "I want to see what this place is like! You can't expect me to spend my first day on an alien planet sitting around next to a whale skeleton! Where did that whale skeleton come from anyway?"
"You will do as you are told, Dib-slime, or suffer the wrath of ZIM!" Zim cried, shifting into a glare.
"And another thing!" cried Dib, returning the glare, "I'm not taking orders from HIM!" Dib pointed at Zim and gritted his teeth on the last word.
"You horrible, wretched human!" Zim shouted.
"You.. uh..." Dib faltered.
"It's hard when you can't say 'alien,' huh Dib?" Zim said smugly.
"Shut up, you horrible... jerk!" cried Dib. "I don't need to take this! And no force in the universe is going to make me stand guard for you!"
Predictably, it was at that moment that GIR entered one of his random fits of jumping on heads. He latched onto Dib's trademarked hair spike and swung around shouting "Weeeoo, weeeoo, weeeee!" Dib cried in pain and tumbled backwards into the elevator. Gaz smiled slightly and hit the 'up' button. Dib and GIR were now on the surface.
"Well?" Gaz asked, "Are we going to stand here all day, or are we moving?"