"Goodbye then. Hope you can fix that problem with your head."
As the shuttlecraft sped off Dib was suddenly filled with the desire to whack it with something, which surprised him. He was experiencing what most adolescent male humans go through almost daily, the need to destroy whatever you can't cope with. This had never happened to Dib before, because he had never encountered anything he couldn't cope with before. But the fact that, on top of everything else, Slartibartfast said that without Dib having ever told him about his head-size issues... that was just too much. But since there was nothing to whack the shuttlecraft with and it was too far away top whack anyway, he just took a few deep breaths and turned to walk into the council chamber.
There he saw his sister, his enemy, an alien, a robot and two mice eating some strange purple food.
He walked back out.
He took several more deep breaths, walked in again and sat down.
"Glad you could join us, Earthenoid," said one of the mice, "I like your glasses."
At this point Dib wasn't even surprised. "Thank you. Why am I here?"
"Yes, well, that's exactly the problem isn't it? It's what we're looking for" the second mouse replied.
"No, I mean here in this room."
"Oh, yes, of course." chuckled the first mouse. How a mouse can chuckle will remain forever a mystery. "Well, you see, as a last generation product of the Earth project, we think the Question might be imprinted in your brain."
"...And they want to buy the question." finished Skoodge.
"No, no." said the second mouse, "It's his brain we want to buy."
Zim grinned. "Fine with me."
"For lots of monies, right?" asked Skoodge
"I suppose you expect me to care." SIR muttered
"I CARE!" exclaimed Dib.
"...And so do I."
Everyone turned to stare at Gaz. Even the mice who hadn't even seen her before seemed to sense some spooky power in her words.
"We could replace it with a mechanical one, if that's important." The first mouse said hesitantly.
Gaz considered this. "Would it have an off switch? And a volume control?"
"If you like"
"Isn't anybody going to ask what I think?" cried Dib. No one responded.
Gaz looked contemplative for a while. "No. I think I prefer Dib the way he is. Well, prefer is such a strong word, but still... no deal."
Skoodge looked like he was about to protest, but one look from Gaz both silenced him and caused him to shield his groin. Zim also seemed hesitant, but it had occurred to him that if the mice had the question, they would have no reason to build another Earth, which would be bad for him. SIR just didn't care about anything. One by one they started to get up and leave.
"Wait a minute!" The mice screeched, "You can't just leave us!"
They proved the mice wrong by just leaving them.
"So now what happens?" asked Dib in the security elevator.
"They'll try to find a way out of it for a while, but eventually they'll have to build another Earth" said Zim.
"And with the money they'll get from that order, they'll have just enough to start advertising without decreasing their personal funds, meaning Magrathiea will soon be taking orders again." added Skoodge "So I'll be able to have a new Blortch made."
"And I'll be able to destroy the Earth! ...Again." Zim cackled.
Dib was upset. He certainly didn't want Earth to be re-created just so it could be put in danger by Zim. "Is there any way I can stop that?"
"Yes..." grinned Skoodge, "Go back there and sell them your brain."
Upon hearing that, Dib was suddenly filled with optimism if he just kept to himself about this issue things would work out for the better. He turned to Gaz. "Well, at least I have you, my sister standing by me the whole time."
Dib's grunt of pain as Gaz punched him in the stomach was drowned out by the emergency sirens that suddenly went on at that moment. "Warning!" they blared, "Life support fault in sectors 1, 2, 3, 4-- Oh Zarquon, we're all going to die!" The alarm system, which happened to be a very sensitive computer system suddenly broke down sobbing. The elevator lurched violently. Everyone but SIR immediately rushed to the control panel. Skoodge popped the cover off to reveal the circuits they were obviously in bad shape.
"What could have caused this much damage?" muttered Skoodge. If he could see on the surface of the planet, he'd know exactly what caused that much damage. He'd have also know how much trouble the air vents which led up to the surface of the planet can cause, especially when said surface is inhabited by a hyperactive little white and cyan robot. But he couldn't and he didn't and he didn't care at the moment. "What do we have here, Gaz?" he asked.
Gaz looked it over. "Electronic stuff is more your area Dib."
Dib only had to glance. "This stuff is completely foreign to me!"
"Well, once again it's up to ME to save the day. Gaze as I do so!" Zim pushed the others aside and set to work with confidence. Then with uncertainty. Then with fear. After a few minutes, using a tone that was far from humble, much much less boisterous and therefore so terrifyingly indicative of the gravity of the situation, he turned around and said "SIR? Come take a look at this."
Everyone cleared the way for the tiny white robot. With baited breath the hovered over him as he inspected the control panel. Their eyes filled with hope as he opened his mouth and spoke. "There's nothing we can do. This elevator is about to explode."
Everyone started talking at once, Skoodge and Zim fiddled with the half-connected circuits "Don't waste what little time you have," said SIR, "I can't fix it and I'm infinitely more intelligent than both of you." They didn't listen.
"So this is it. We're going to die." Gaz breathed.
"Death..." muttered SIR, "Well, it beats the alternative."
Dib felt strangely at ease. "After this," he said, "things can only get better."
As the shuttlecraft sped off Dib was suddenly filled with the desire to whack it with something, which surprised him. He was experiencing what most adolescent male humans go through almost daily, the need to destroy whatever you can't cope with. This had never happened to Dib before, because he had never encountered anything he couldn't cope with before. But the fact that, on top of everything else, Slartibartfast said that without Dib having ever told him about his head-size issues... that was just too much. But since there was nothing to whack the shuttlecraft with and it was too far away top whack anyway, he just took a few deep breaths and turned to walk into the council chamber.
There he saw his sister, his enemy, an alien, a robot and two mice eating some strange purple food.
He walked back out.
He took several more deep breaths, walked in again and sat down.
"Glad you could join us, Earthenoid," said one of the mice, "I like your glasses."
At this point Dib wasn't even surprised. "Thank you. Why am I here?"
"Yes, well, that's exactly the problem isn't it? It's what we're looking for" the second mouse replied.
"No, I mean here in this room."
"Oh, yes, of course." chuckled the first mouse. How a mouse can chuckle will remain forever a mystery. "Well, you see, as a last generation product of the Earth project, we think the Question might be imprinted in your brain."
"...And they want to buy the question." finished Skoodge.
"No, no." said the second mouse, "It's his brain we want to buy."
Zim grinned. "Fine with me."
"For lots of monies, right?" asked Skoodge
"I suppose you expect me to care." SIR muttered
"I CARE!" exclaimed Dib.
"...And so do I."
Everyone turned to stare at Gaz. Even the mice who hadn't even seen her before seemed to sense some spooky power in her words.
"We could replace it with a mechanical one, if that's important." The first mouse said hesitantly.
Gaz considered this. "Would it have an off switch? And a volume control?"
"If you like"
"Isn't anybody going to ask what I think?" cried Dib. No one responded.
Gaz looked contemplative for a while. "No. I think I prefer Dib the way he is. Well, prefer is such a strong word, but still... no deal."
Skoodge looked like he was about to protest, but one look from Gaz both silenced him and caused him to shield his groin. Zim also seemed hesitant, but it had occurred to him that if the mice had the question, they would have no reason to build another Earth, which would be bad for him. SIR just didn't care about anything. One by one they started to get up and leave.
"Wait a minute!" The mice screeched, "You can't just leave us!"
They proved the mice wrong by just leaving them.
"So now what happens?" asked Dib in the security elevator.
"They'll try to find a way out of it for a while, but eventually they'll have to build another Earth" said Zim.
"And with the money they'll get from that order, they'll have just enough to start advertising without decreasing their personal funds, meaning Magrathiea will soon be taking orders again." added Skoodge "So I'll be able to have a new Blortch made."
"And I'll be able to destroy the Earth! ...Again." Zim cackled.
Dib was upset. He certainly didn't want Earth to be re-created just so it could be put in danger by Zim. "Is there any way I can stop that?"
"Yes..." grinned Skoodge, "Go back there and sell them your brain."
Upon hearing that, Dib was suddenly filled with optimism if he just kept to himself about this issue things would work out for the better. He turned to Gaz. "Well, at least I have you, my sister standing by me the whole time."
Dib's grunt of pain as Gaz punched him in the stomach was drowned out by the emergency sirens that suddenly went on at that moment. "Warning!" they blared, "Life support fault in sectors 1, 2, 3, 4-- Oh Zarquon, we're all going to die!" The alarm system, which happened to be a very sensitive computer system suddenly broke down sobbing. The elevator lurched violently. Everyone but SIR immediately rushed to the control panel. Skoodge popped the cover off to reveal the circuits they were obviously in bad shape.
"What could have caused this much damage?" muttered Skoodge. If he could see on the surface of the planet, he'd know exactly what caused that much damage. He'd have also know how much trouble the air vents which led up to the surface of the planet can cause, especially when said surface is inhabited by a hyperactive little white and cyan robot. But he couldn't and he didn't and he didn't care at the moment. "What do we have here, Gaz?" he asked.
Gaz looked it over. "Electronic stuff is more your area Dib."
Dib only had to glance. "This stuff is completely foreign to me!"
"Well, once again it's up to ME to save the day. Gaze as I do so!" Zim pushed the others aside and set to work with confidence. Then with uncertainty. Then with fear. After a few minutes, using a tone that was far from humble, much much less boisterous and therefore so terrifyingly indicative of the gravity of the situation, he turned around and said "SIR? Come take a look at this."
Everyone cleared the way for the tiny white robot. With baited breath the hovered over him as he inspected the control panel. Their eyes filled with hope as he opened his mouth and spoke. "There's nothing we can do. This elevator is about to explode."
Everyone started talking at once, Skoodge and Zim fiddled with the half-connected circuits "Don't waste what little time you have," said SIR, "I can't fix it and I'm infinitely more intelligent than both of you." They didn't listen.
"So this is it. We're going to die." Gaz breathed.
"Death..." muttered SIR, "Well, it beats the alternative."
Dib felt strangely at ease. "After this," he said, "things can only get better."