Asazi
Chapter 8
I charged at Asazi with rage and anger clouding my thoughts. She was standing behind a sofa; I dove over it and onto her like I did earlier…but this time she was prepared.
She sidestepped to the right, grabbed my arm in midair and flipped me over into the wall a few feet away. My back popped at the time of impact. I fell to the floor, trying to control my emotions.
You see, I learn fast. I learned from that one sidestep that she was controlling my actions by making me angry and mad…you can't fight if you're mad. Anger doesn't let you think clear; it kills your stamina and clear thinking.
So I calmed myself and tried to find weak points in or on her. A few seconds later we began to circle around the sofa; she had gotten around it without me noticing. Then she suddenly leaped up and did a flying sidekick into my throat. I fell back, unable to breathe. She then did a backflip over the sofa and was again, about ten feet away from me.
Her attack lasted two seconds, then she had retreated. Then it occurred to me that she might know karate. And if she did, I would die if I kept on fighting her. But it didn't matter…the hit to the throat was slowly taking me out…
I blinked and she smiled at her victory…
My vision fuzzed out and I fell onto the floor, defeated and knocked out…
-_-
I woke up to find my head in a small, dried circle of blood in the carpet. The gash on the back of my head had reopened…it was scabbed back over now. I slowly got to my feet and looked around the house to make sure that no one was home.
I didn't go upstairs though. That was Xynan's territory. His room. Not mine. I left the house and started walking toward the beach, Asazi's huge shirt going to down to my knees…I didn't even need my shorts.
About fifteen minutes later I reached the beach and sat down. The sun was high and it must've been close to noon. I sighed slowly walked into the water, finding peace and comfort in the oceans cold, deep solitude. I was alone on the beach. Couldn't see anyone down either side of the beach. Also couldn't see any houses.
But that fine with me. I was better off when or alone or alone with Xynan. Xynan…my heart flew at the sight of him, at the sound of his voice. Though I was six, I knew I was in love…how? I kept asking the question. How could I be in love at the age of six?
But there were other questions. Why did my own blood molest me? My own blood. Why were my parents killed before I could even begin to understand them?
Questions that returned my thoughts to my mother and father. For what seemed to be the millionth time, tears poured from my eyes and into the salty ocean…the tears' salinity blending seamlessly with the oceans'.
I stopped crying and tried to become a tough girl. You're alone in this world, I told myself. No one to help you. Take what you can get, use it, then leave it before it can betray you. Don't cry anymore tears for the past…only the future.
Whispers entered my head…they said things like, "God killed your parents…you can kill too." Whispers that brought out my anger and emotion. Whispers that tore at my heart and mind, a whisper that warned me about my future and whispers that told me that there was no one to help me…no one…
"LEAVE ME ALOOOOONNNEE," I screamed at the ocean. At the whispers in my head.
I don't know, to this day, if those whispers were my imagination…or something more. Perhaps they were demons, telling me that there was no hope and that God had betrayed me…but perhaps they were whispers that were to change me, to mold me into what God wanted me to be…I didn't know…and still don't…
I was alone, alone except for the whispers that didn't come from my ears.
They came from nowhere. Yet another mystery to my already inconceivable life.
The mysteries? There were many; why did my parents die, why did I have to get Shawn who touched me, why did Asazi have to try and kill me…and all lead down the same path…why?
I crawled from the water and sat in the sand, muddying the area I was sitting in.
Now, I thought. The whispers are right. No one is going to help no one and me ever will. From now on I will use things to my advantage, for me. No one else. Unless I meet another Xynan.
And there always is another true love. I can't love the Xynan I know now…can't. There's no way. No possible way…because of Asazi. Asazi the bitch, the whore. She is a traitor to Xynan, a wretched freak of mortality whose fake love will hurt him forever…
I decided to take another vow. When I meet another Xynan…I will test him to see if he's truly the one. To make sure he doesn't cheat me like Asazi is treating him…
A thought occurred to me. If I'm gonna be a killer, a no-emotions person…I need a name. Not (whatever my name was then) but something real…something with a meaning.
And then the whispers told me.
Asazi.
At first I rejected it. NO WAY! I can't name myself after a cheating, lying bitch. Asazi's a disgrace to mankind. A liar a cheater… But the longer I thought about it, the more it began to make sense. Yes…I will make up for your mistakes, Asazi. I will make right what you have and will do wrong. When I meet another Xynan, I will not hurt him, or cheat him.
Ever.
They were strong oaths but I would keep them, and to make sure I did, I made one last vow. If I ever break one of these oaths…suicide will be the ONLY answer…
It was a death wish. I knew it was…but what did I have to lose?
I began to plan out my life. I would scavenge the streets, take only what I could find. Hopefully find weak hearts, and then use them at my disposal so I could survive. Survival of the Fittest…wasn't that the term for mercenaries?
Yes…I would do just that. When I turn thirteen I will head for South America. How I will get there is a whole other matter and I would deal with that then but when I do, I will pretend to be a prostitute. I will get hired, hopefully by a don or one of his assistants. Then, when I get to the don's house, I will show him my training, my skills that I will have developed over the years.
They will make me one of their assassins and I would become a geisha. Yes…a geisha. A girl assassin that uses her looks and body to get my target's trust…then take him out.
Yes. That would be my life. And when I meet another Xynan, whether on the job or not, I would take him and forever be with him. Until I die. Until I go away forever like my parents and Shawn and the hundreds that die each day…and like the thousands that are born each day that will eventually go.
I would be like the winds. Never seen but felt.
Funny, now that I think about it. I had planned out my life…but it never went as I planned. No surprise for me, of course…and to think that I actually dreamed of being a superstar model and actor…funny…
I swam for another hour or two, then started my walk back home. I had plans for life. Life that was meaningless but would certainly not have it's noneffectiveness…I will change the world. Kill leaders around the world for money…only to be hired for more.
My walk home was undisturbed…yet it was disturbing. Undisturbed because I didn't see anyone. My solitudal wish had been granted for now…but it was disturbing because the birds weren't chirping. I didn't see a single life form all the way back up to house…my skin got goosebumps and I knew…just knew that something bad was going to happen.
I didn't know what but…
I reached the house and went inside. I was dry; the sun's summer heat beating down on me as I walked back was more than enough to dry me up so I sat on the sofa.
Weariness had overcome me, physically and mentally. My plans and the swimming all drifted away into an endless tunnel of refuge…sleep…
-_-
I awoke to two car door's slamming shut. A few seconds later, Xynan and Asazi walked in. They were talking to each other in dense tones, tense tones of voices. They were fighting and I sat back in the sofa, pretending to be asleep as I listened to the argument unfold.
"…Why were you at Karachi Club," Xynan was demanding.
I blinked an eye to get a glimpse of Asazi. She was dressed like an eighty's prostitute. She was obviously one too, judging by how her hair was messed up. Xynan's next question answer mine.
"And why were you making out with that Japanese guy?! You had cash sticking out of your—," Xynan was going to keep going but Asazi cut him off.
"I wasn't making out with him; he was raping me and no one helped until you came in!"
Xynan shook his head and said, "Bullshit. You had—," he sighed but continued, "—you were kissing him while he was touching you…and you had money. Cash sticking out of your underwear and for Christ's sake, you weren't even wearing your pants?! Why weren't you at work?"
She was, I thought with a mental smile…then Asazi shocked me.
"I was." Simple…but the truth Asazi had told the truth.
I decide to stop the fight; I yawned and pretended to wake up. I looked at Xynan with a smile and said, "Hello Xynan." I turned Asazi and gave her a glare…then a sudden movement caught my eye. I looked out a window to see two vehicles pulling up to the beach house, both full of people.
"Oh no," Xynan said. He turned to me and yelled, "Run upstairs! NOW! Hide in the closet upstairs!"
I jumped off the sofa but couldn't bring myself to run away. I couldn't run from my first Xynan, even though I knew there would be another one. And for some reason…I couldn't run from Asazi either. She was somehow attached to me now…perhaps it was because I adopted her name.
The people outside were getting out of their cars and running up to the house.
Everything was going fast and my breathing got taken away as gunfire was heard, windows screeching, as they were broke into pieces by hard bullets. I was even more surprised when I saw Xynan pulled guns out of the stove.
He tossed one to Asazi who took aim and fired at people outside. Someone screamed and I heard a sickening crunch. I didn't run upstairs but I did hide behind the bookcase, still able to see everything that was happening. Xynan raised his gun to fire but his arm suddenly exploded with red liquid and he yelled out in pain. Asazi screamed as eight people poured into the house.
I closed my eyes and, for the first time, prayed that nothing bad would happen to Xynan…my prayer wasn't answered…