Asazi
Chapter 17
I was on a hard floor. I kept my eyes shut even though I wanted to know where I was. I could hear the wind howling but it wasn't near me…it was muffled. I could hear the rain pouring but I couldn't feel it…I was inside…a house?
The house I broke into!
So that wasn't a dream but…what? What's going on? What's happening to me? I can't tell the difference between reality and a dream? Am I dreaming now?
I decided to find out and opened my eyes. It was dark but there was a small plug-in lamp in one corner of the room I was in. There were two kids, a woman, probably their mother, and a man peering out a small window. There were wooden pillars that supported the ceiling above us all around the room and there was a stair case at the opposite end of the room…I was the house's basement.
I moved my head a little and pain flooded it. I brought a hand up and gently touched my forehead; a deep pain came and I felt a bruise there. The man, the father, looked down at me and whispered, "You okay there?"
I glanced back at the kids to see that they were sleeping on their mother's lap. I didn't notice that at first because I eyes weren't adjusted to the dim light.
I looked back at the man and nodded 'yes'.
He smiled a graceful smile and crouched down, away from the window and closer to me. "We heard your footsteps and the window shatter and thought there was a burglar in our home. I was ready for you when you opened the door and when you did, I brought down that—," he pointed to a piece of hollow wood, "—on your head. I didn't see who you were, I just knocked you out so that no one would get hurt…but when I saw it was a little girl, I was…surprised."
I nodded a little; my head was starting to get a little less sensitive.
"So…I guess I'm sorry that I hurt you," the man continued, then offered his hand and said, "I'm Mr. Renton. What's your name?"
I hesitated, not knowing what to think about this person. I could see the mother watching us out of the corner of my eye…I didn't know what to make of it. Then a thought came to me and it all made sense. You're basically in a shelter. You're safe for now.
I smiled a little and took the man's hand in a handshake and whispered, "Sorry I broke your window. I couldn't find a shelter and no one would let me in. I called for help a few times but no one opened their doors or even turned on a light to show that they heard me."
He nodded and replied, "That's because most people either aren't home or are in their storm shelters, hiding from the storm. They probably couldn't even hear you over all this wind."
That made sense. "Can I…stay—here, until the storm leaves?"
Here it comes, the moment of truth. Could I stay? Would they kick me out of their house for breaking into it?
"Of course you can stay. You might get killed if you go back out there."
I breathed a sigh of relief and then things went a little downhill…
"So why aren't you at home right now? I mean, where are your parents," the man, Mr. Renton asked. We were both still whispering so we wouldn't wake up the other two kids.
I started to answer but my voice quit. I couldn't speak for a second. "I—my parents are dead."
Mr. Renton looked down at the floor and said, "I'm sorry."
I shook my head. "It's not your fault. I just…don't think about them anymore. That's all. Too much has happened since they died and I don't want to remember my life before they…passed away and left me."
Mr. Renton digested that for a second and said, "You know…people don't die for nothing. They die for a purpose, for a reason. I'm sure that when they died that…God had a plan for you and a stronger purpose in your life but to get there and to be able to do that you have to be strong and—''
"Bullshit," I said, cutting him off. Anger suddenly flowed through me. "If there even is a God, why'd he take away my life, why'd he kill my parents and not someone else's…why'd he make me kill them, why did he even bother with my life and my family…why does he even bother with anyone's family…?" Tears came to my eyes but I didn't let them flow out.
Mr. Renton looked back down at the floor and said, "I'm sorry…"
The mother, who had watched and probably heard the whole thing, carefully got up, moving the kid's over a little and walked over to where I was. "What's your name," she asked me.
I don't know how to describe what I felt. I was angry because I had finally realized who had killed my parents and I was angry at the fact that this 'Mr. Renton' was trying to tell me that God was the good guy…and then I felt warmth. Perhaps it was her voice or his compassion…whatever it was, I felt safe, secure. I felt…safe, for the first time since their death…since my parents died…
I was secure…but I wasn't healed. Brink's gang would be back. The people that tried to get me in the park said that all of Miami's criminal underworld had been talking about me…I wasn't secure…but I was safe for a little while.
"What's your name," she asked again.
"Asazi," I replied.
She smiled as a flash of lightning lit the room through the little basement window. "I'm Mrs. Renton…you have an interesting name. Is it your actual name?"
How'd she know? I looked at Mr. Renton to find him smiling and he said, "She's good at that. She can sometimes tell the difference between fact and fiction right off."
Fear sunk into me. She can read my mind? Mr. Renton must've seen the fear on my face and he started laughing quietly. "No, no…it's not like that," he said in between laughs…, "It's one of her gifts."
I blinked.
He frowned as if trying to find the right words but Mrs. Renton saved him. "It's one of my talents."
"You can read my mind," I asked incredulously. She laughed and said, "No…but sometimes I just know when you're telling the truth and when you're not."
"Oh," I said…I was kind of at a loss of words.
"So who's name is that, 'Asazi'," she asked again, a smiled on her face.
"It was…it was…someone I knew for a short time…she…she's dead now and I thought that—," my voice choked again, "—I thought that I should take her name."
Mrs. Renton smiled again and said, "Well I think you can stay with us until this storm dies…then I'll take you home, okay?"
Mr. Renton tried to get her attention but the she didn't catch it. "Where do your parents live?"
Mr. Renton dropped his hand and his head sagged a little…I started crying. I couldn't help it anymore. My parents were dead, Xynan and Asazi are dead…Atone would probably get killed once the gangs found him and asked him about my whereabouts…everyone I fucking know or like dies…and it's my fault…
"Ssshhh," Mrs. Renton quietly said, gently pulling her hand through my hair. I found myself I on her lap, my tears soaking into her jeans. "It's not your fault…it's gonna be okay…"
I kept crying, finally unleashing my sadness and grief into this complete and utter stranger that could tell when I lie and I don't…I cried and cried and cried with storm outside and with a nice family that picked me up and didn't even know me…I cried.
There is love on the planet, I realized…and kept crying until all went black and I slept…
-_-
When I woke up, I was lying down on the floor, two kids nearby me, talking and laughing quietly. Earlier I hadn't really paid much attention to them but I decided to study them for a few minutes.
One girl and one boy, both somewhat young…they were probably two or three years older than me. I heard them say the other's name a few times; the boy's name was Jake and the girl's name was Kiara. They were playing with a plastic army man set. Since they were sitting so close to the little lamp, I could make out what they looked like too. The girl had brown hair that went down a few inches past her shoulders and the boy had black hair that was ruffled and messed up.
They laughed and smiled and played together as if they weren't a brother and sister. So they are a little grown up, I thought and laughed to myself. They hadn't noticed my awakening so I sat up…they looked at me and the boy said, "You wanna play?" Not wanting to play or wanting to hurt their feelings I said, "No, not right now. Maybe later though."
Army men. I don't think so. I used to love to play in sandboxes and little pools. Used to…now they seem…distant, a memory. They aren't real anymore…maybe that's what happens when you kill someone. You die too, your heart and mind fade and you can't really enjoy anything…
They started playing with each other again. I watched for a few more seconds and then stood up and looked around. The mother and father were standing by the window, looking out it with worried looks on their faces. I could tell they were nervous…nervous about whatever they were both looking at. I walked over to them and said, "What's wrong?"
Mr. Renton jumped a little. I had startled him…
Mrs. Renton picked me up under the armpits and let me look through the window. There was a tree leaning toward the house, right toward the basement window. A fort was in it but it was bent and messed up…
"The tree might fall on the house," Mr. Renton said. "If that happens…well, uh…we shouldn't be here when it does."
Mrs. Renton put me down and I looked at Mr. Renton and said, "But that means going out into the storm."
He sighed and nodded, "Yes, it does. That tree is taller and longer than the house is…if it lands on the house it'll probably bring the whole roof down with it…"
"I think we should leave now," Mrs. Renton said, her voice slightly tinted with a tinge of fear. Mr. Renton nodded in agreement and asked, "Should we take the car or just walk?"
Mrs. Renton gave him a 'are you stupid' look. "The roads are probably flooded, Tom. We need to get out of here and we have to do it on foot…"
The howling wind suddenly died down and the rain stopped. Mr. and Mrs. Renton looked at each other, confused looks on their faces. Then Mr. Renton said, "The eye of the storm…the hurricane has swung up and eastward…" Mrs. Renton walked over to a corner of the room and pulled out a small radio from the darkness.
She walked over to an outlet and plugged it in…after a few minutes of tuning, she picked up a weatherman. "—Hurricane has swung up—sskfskehgghsksg—back in—shkgsk—lantic ocean. Should clear—skghhskgh—forty minutes. Stay insi—skeksghsesk—ther notice—."
Mr. and Mrs. Renton smiled and breathed quick sighs of relief.
I frowned. "What's going on?"
"The hurricane is swinging back into the ocean. We're not in the eye of the storm, we're on the outside of it."
I blinked and then said, "So it's over?" Mr. Renton smiled replied, "Yes, it's over." He glanced at his watch and said, "Lasted six hours…," he stopped, and looked at me as if there was something concerning him. Then he spoke…, "You don't have a home, do you Asazi?"
I shook my head no.
Then he smiled and said without hesitation, "Then you can stay with us for awhile!"
That safe, secure feeling came again and I didn't know how to treat it. Should I stay comfortable or should I dismiss it and always stay on guard? Should I stay or should I leave? About a half-second later I said, "I would like that very much…"