Author Note: *ppl throws mics stuff at me!* AHHHHHH! SORRY! SO SORRY! I just been blank on ideas... Gr.... --; Well uhhhh I finally got inspired by something.. I forgot what it was but who cares right now. lol. So many things inspire me. Oh and I should dedicate this chapter to my buddy Shaily owing to the fact she helped me with the concept of this chapter and that she has broken her leg. LYLAS SHAILY! ^^ You rock my world! BTW: Ziggy and Shaily get really involved in the story in this chappie. Oh and WARNING!!!! SUICIDAL MOMENT YET AGAIN AND SEVERE LANGUAGE!! LOL! I might as well just change the frigging rating.. lol.
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Filling In The Holes
Chapter Three: Cuts, Blood, Lies
Brianna was holding tightly to Squid as she felt her guilt rising. She couldn't bare the pain of hurting him. The guilt inside of her was growing. She had to do something. She pushed away looking deeply into his eyes. "No." she whispered.
"No?" he asked looking dumbstruck.
"No," she said firmly turning from him. She started to walk away feeling like she betrayed him, which she had done. He stood there in shock.
"Brianna! Please," he said in a whispered. She stopped for a brief moment and then kept on walking. Her right hand moved upward to her neck and ripped something off of it. She dropped a golden chain onto the ground. She finally disappeared into the crowd leaving Squid behind her.
He felt hurt. He felt rejected. He walked toward the object she had dropped onto the ground. He picked it up and stared it. It was a golden locket on a gold chain. The locket read upon the outside, "Best Friends Forever." He felt his stomach turn. He opened the locket and saw a picture of her and gang on the inside. On the other side was a picture of...
Him.
He looked up at where she had walked away and felt the cold stab of rejection pierce his skin. He shoved the locket into his pocket and walked away in the other direction. He couldn't understand what was wrong with Brianna. Was it the drugs causing her changes or was she hiding something from him.
***
Zig Zag and Shaily were outside of Zig Zag's house sitting on his porch swing. "Who d'you think did it?" asked Zig with his paranoia returning to his voice. Shaily rolled her eyes and glanced at him with her ocean eyes.
"Ricky," she said simply. "Don't you have the biggest security system outta all yer friends? I mean, duh. It would be on camera!" she added. Zig though for a second and glanced at her with a look of surprise and it was quickly replaced by happiness. He jumped up from the swing and ran inside his house.
"C'mon Shail! We've gotta see who did it! I'm not waiting for Squid any longer," said Zig running back outside and grabbing Shaily's arm and dragging her inside. He led her down to where the camera monitors were located. He looked around for the previous day's video. When he found it, he pulled it out and put it into a VCR. Zig pressed the fast forward button and waited for the events that had happened in the night. They saw who were the burglars.
"BRIANNA?!" cried out Shaily looking thunderstruck.
"Brianna? How could she've done it? She's dead," muttered Zig Zag.
"Ricky! She wasn't dead. She came back like two days ago. She's alive. I've seen her, but how could she've stolen from your house.?!" Shaily shrieked.
"Once a thief always a thief."
"Oh thanks! I was a thief too! Ya think I steal anymore!?" shouted Shaily with anger.
"NO! NO! Of course not but Bri was yer leader. So of course she would probably stay the same," Zig said quickly trying to cover up what he had meant. Of course he wouldn't mean it toward his girlfriend but still Brianna was her girlfriend's leader so, it only was natural Brianna stayed the same.
Shaily didn't believe him.
"Dammit! Don't you dare say that about her! You're a damn pyro!" she yelled, marching around the room like a lunatic. She couldn't believe what he had said. Even if he had said it wasn't pointed to her it still hit her hard. "You say that about Brianna, you say it to all the Strips!" shouted Shaily getting ready to leave. Zig stood up and wrapped one arm around Shaily's waist and rested his head on hers.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly.
She pushed away.
"NO! NO!" she screamed. "You'll never be able to take that back! Not ever! Dammit!" she cried out, quickly moving away from Zig. He stared at her looking thoroughly shocked by her outburst of rage.
"Shail..."
She slapped him.
"NO!" she screamed again running out of the room and heading for the door. She swung it open and ran outside slamming it shut. It made a loud "CLACK!" when it hit the doorframe. She went back to her house and ran straight up to her room.
"Shaily?" asked her stepmother.
"Don't talk to me!" she cried as she slammed her bedroom door.
"Oh no," whispered her stepmother. "Something bad must've happened."
"Cheryl let her cool off," commanded Shaily's father who was reading the newspaper. "When she's this upset she needs a little time to calm down. She'll come to you when she's ready." Cheryl nodded and sat down on her armchair.
"Alright then Carl," replied Cheryl.
***
Brianna stopped dead when she got a feeling in her stomach. Brianna and her former gang were so close they knew when someone was upset over something. Kind of like a sixth sense. Brianna stopped and though about who it could be.
"Shaily!" she yelped out to no one. She realized how Zig Zag would tell her first out of anyone his home was robbed. So of course it had to be Shaily. Brianna started to get sick. She stopped at a nearby bench and sat down. She rubbed her head. "Damn. My head's killing me," she whimpered.
"Bri!" said a female voice.
"Laura," said Brianna glancing at the female. Laura smiled evilly again. Brianna let her sit next to her and looked back down to the pavement. "Whaddya want?" asked Brianna rubbing her temple determined to get rid of the headache.
"Well I was wonderin' if ya needed some marijuana?" she asked looking around her suspiciously. Brianna shook her head and began to rub the back of her neck. "Are you sure. Sean just got a whole new shipment in from a nearby city. There's a whole bunch!" Laura said grinning.
"No! I told ya! No!" she shouted. Laura looked a little blank but shrugged it off. Laura got up from the bench and walked away. Brianna pulled out a cigarette and lit it up. She took drag of it and exhaled the smoke. She leaned back with her head looking up at the midday sky. "Pathetic life," she muttered. "I don't deserve to live."
She got up and walked to an ally and turned her back to the street. She pulled out a switchblade.
**Flashback**
"Brianna! What the hell are you doing?" said Squid blinking madly at this scenario. She rubbed her head and stared at her blade again. "You can't do that!"
"The hell I can!" she shouted back. "I'll kill myself and no one'll have to hear about my pathetic life again! DAMMIT!" Squid looked shocked at Brianna's change in attitude. He glanced at Shaily who bit her lip.
"Her mother was killed," Shaily whispered over to Squid. He blinked and looked back at Brianna.
"Don't do this," he said simply.
"Fuck off!" Brianna screamed. Brianna felt tears staining her eyes again. She let them fall. "Life is so worthless.." she whispered. She sat down on her cot and dropped her switchblade and buried her ace in her hands. Shaily was about to walk over to Brianna but Squid stopped her.
"Don't." he whispered. Shaily smiled and pushed the girls out of her the tent.
"HEY WAIT! I WANNA SEE WHAT HAPPENS!" cried out Kayla as Michelle and Marla drug her out of the tent. Squid rolled his eyes, shook his head and smiled. Squid walked over to Brianna and sat next to her.
"Brianna, you going to be ok?" he whispered to her.
"What d'you think!" she whimpered. She finally rose up from her hands and Squid saw the tears that had fallen down her face. It hurt him to see her like this. She wiped away her tears and picked up her switchblade.
"Whoa, no common. You really don't need to start this again."
"I'm not going to do it. I'd never have the guts to cut myself to death. I could kill myself but never with a switchblade. It just makes me feel a little better." she whispered.
**End of Flashback**
"I'm a stupid lying bitch!" she said to herself staring at her switchblade. "I could and I will slit my neck. I would. I don't deserve living in this damn world. Alan deserves so much better than me... I'm a liar, a thief, and a drug addict... He deserves the best. Not me..."
She got her switchblade and flipped it open. The blade glimmered and she placed it onto her wrist. The cool, sliver blade began to cut her right wrist. Blood began to fall down her arm creating a stream of blood running down her arm. Tears silently fell down her face. "I let everyone down... Everyone!" she said cutting herself again.
Blood falling.
***
Squid stopped. Something was keeping him from going any further from Brianna. Something was wrong. He turned around and walked in the direction she had ran away in. What was happening that made him stop? He grew worried about her. What was she doing? He began to run faster. What if she was hurt? What if it wasn't even Brianna that was stopping him?
***
Brianna watched the blood trickle down her arm. She winced in pain, but she liked it. She liked the pain. "Bullet proofs the soul. Pain is the only option. I must punish myself in order to bullet proof my soul." she whimpered as the blood spattered onto the floor. She brought the blade to her left shoulder and slashed it. Blood flooded out of the cut. She felt light headed and she couldn't see straight. Her eyes fluttered and finally she couldn't take it.
She collapsed.
She became unconscious. She fell into the pool of her own blood.
***
Squid was walking down the street and saw a TV shop. He stopped to see what was going on.
"Breaking news! Earlier today a midteen female was found in an ally today. She was cut on her right wrist and a gash in her left shoulder. She was found by a citizen and brought to the local hospital. She lost a considerable amount of blood, which could prove fatal to her. More details at eleven," said the reporter.
"What!?" shouted Squid looking flabbergasted by this. He decided to go the hospital and see what happened. "Brianna..." he hissed in a low voice. He started to run toward the local hospital.
***
Shaily sat in her room shocked by the breaking news. "BRIANNA!" she cried out. She grabbed the phone and dialed Kayla's number. "KAYLA!"
"I know I already saw it. You think it was-?" asked Kayla.
"Hell yes! I mean Brianna has got a past of being rather suicidal. Unless she was jumped which I doubt, but you never know!" cried Shaily.
"I know!" Kayla said firmly. "I'll call the other girls. Meet me at the hospital ASAP! Ok?"
"Right, of course!" Shaily answered.
"Ok see you later!" Kayla said as she hung up the phone to call the other girls. Shaily hung the phone up and ran down the stairs and out the door. She grabbed her bike and began to peddle toward the hospital.
What if Brianna actually went through with her suicidal ways this time?
What if she actually killed herself?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Filling In The Holes
Chapter Three: Cuts, Blood, Lies
Brianna was holding tightly to Squid as she felt her guilt rising. She couldn't bare the pain of hurting him. The guilt inside of her was growing. She had to do something. She pushed away looking deeply into his eyes. "No." she whispered.
"No?" he asked looking dumbstruck.
"No," she said firmly turning from him. She started to walk away feeling like she betrayed him, which she had done. He stood there in shock.
"Brianna! Please," he said in a whispered. She stopped for a brief moment and then kept on walking. Her right hand moved upward to her neck and ripped something off of it. She dropped a golden chain onto the ground. She finally disappeared into the crowd leaving Squid behind her.
He felt hurt. He felt rejected. He walked toward the object she had dropped onto the ground. He picked it up and stared it. It was a golden locket on a gold chain. The locket read upon the outside, "Best Friends Forever." He felt his stomach turn. He opened the locket and saw a picture of her and gang on the inside. On the other side was a picture of...
Him.
He looked up at where she had walked away and felt the cold stab of rejection pierce his skin. He shoved the locket into his pocket and walked away in the other direction. He couldn't understand what was wrong with Brianna. Was it the drugs causing her changes or was she hiding something from him.
***
Zig Zag and Shaily were outside of Zig Zag's house sitting on his porch swing. "Who d'you think did it?" asked Zig with his paranoia returning to his voice. Shaily rolled her eyes and glanced at him with her ocean eyes.
"Ricky," she said simply. "Don't you have the biggest security system outta all yer friends? I mean, duh. It would be on camera!" she added. Zig though for a second and glanced at her with a look of surprise and it was quickly replaced by happiness. He jumped up from the swing and ran inside his house.
"C'mon Shail! We've gotta see who did it! I'm not waiting for Squid any longer," said Zig running back outside and grabbing Shaily's arm and dragging her inside. He led her down to where the camera monitors were located. He looked around for the previous day's video. When he found it, he pulled it out and put it into a VCR. Zig pressed the fast forward button and waited for the events that had happened in the night. They saw who were the burglars.
"BRIANNA?!" cried out Shaily looking thunderstruck.
"Brianna? How could she've done it? She's dead," muttered Zig Zag.
"Ricky! She wasn't dead. She came back like two days ago. She's alive. I've seen her, but how could she've stolen from your house.?!" Shaily shrieked.
"Once a thief always a thief."
"Oh thanks! I was a thief too! Ya think I steal anymore!?" shouted Shaily with anger.
"NO! NO! Of course not but Bri was yer leader. So of course she would probably stay the same," Zig said quickly trying to cover up what he had meant. Of course he wouldn't mean it toward his girlfriend but still Brianna was her girlfriend's leader so, it only was natural Brianna stayed the same.
Shaily didn't believe him.
"Dammit! Don't you dare say that about her! You're a damn pyro!" she yelled, marching around the room like a lunatic. She couldn't believe what he had said. Even if he had said it wasn't pointed to her it still hit her hard. "You say that about Brianna, you say it to all the Strips!" shouted Shaily getting ready to leave. Zig stood up and wrapped one arm around Shaily's waist and rested his head on hers.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly.
She pushed away.
"NO! NO!" she screamed. "You'll never be able to take that back! Not ever! Dammit!" she cried out, quickly moving away from Zig. He stared at her looking thoroughly shocked by her outburst of rage.
"Shail..."
She slapped him.
"NO!" she screamed again running out of the room and heading for the door. She swung it open and ran outside slamming it shut. It made a loud "CLACK!" when it hit the doorframe. She went back to her house and ran straight up to her room.
"Shaily?" asked her stepmother.
"Don't talk to me!" she cried as she slammed her bedroom door.
"Oh no," whispered her stepmother. "Something bad must've happened."
"Cheryl let her cool off," commanded Shaily's father who was reading the newspaper. "When she's this upset she needs a little time to calm down. She'll come to you when she's ready." Cheryl nodded and sat down on her armchair.
"Alright then Carl," replied Cheryl.
***
Brianna stopped dead when she got a feeling in her stomach. Brianna and her former gang were so close they knew when someone was upset over something. Kind of like a sixth sense. Brianna stopped and though about who it could be.
"Shaily!" she yelped out to no one. She realized how Zig Zag would tell her first out of anyone his home was robbed. So of course it had to be Shaily. Brianna started to get sick. She stopped at a nearby bench and sat down. She rubbed her head. "Damn. My head's killing me," she whimpered.
"Bri!" said a female voice.
"Laura," said Brianna glancing at the female. Laura smiled evilly again. Brianna let her sit next to her and looked back down to the pavement. "Whaddya want?" asked Brianna rubbing her temple determined to get rid of the headache.
"Well I was wonderin' if ya needed some marijuana?" she asked looking around her suspiciously. Brianna shook her head and began to rub the back of her neck. "Are you sure. Sean just got a whole new shipment in from a nearby city. There's a whole bunch!" Laura said grinning.
"No! I told ya! No!" she shouted. Laura looked a little blank but shrugged it off. Laura got up from the bench and walked away. Brianna pulled out a cigarette and lit it up. She took drag of it and exhaled the smoke. She leaned back with her head looking up at the midday sky. "Pathetic life," she muttered. "I don't deserve to live."
She got up and walked to an ally and turned her back to the street. She pulled out a switchblade.
**Flashback**
"Brianna! What the hell are you doing?" said Squid blinking madly at this scenario. She rubbed her head and stared at her blade again. "You can't do that!"
"The hell I can!" she shouted back. "I'll kill myself and no one'll have to hear about my pathetic life again! DAMMIT!" Squid looked shocked at Brianna's change in attitude. He glanced at Shaily who bit her lip.
"Her mother was killed," Shaily whispered over to Squid. He blinked and looked back at Brianna.
"Don't do this," he said simply.
"Fuck off!" Brianna screamed. Brianna felt tears staining her eyes again. She let them fall. "Life is so worthless.." she whispered. She sat down on her cot and dropped her switchblade and buried her ace in her hands. Shaily was about to walk over to Brianna but Squid stopped her.
"Don't." he whispered. Shaily smiled and pushed the girls out of her the tent.
"HEY WAIT! I WANNA SEE WHAT HAPPENS!" cried out Kayla as Michelle and Marla drug her out of the tent. Squid rolled his eyes, shook his head and smiled. Squid walked over to Brianna and sat next to her.
"Brianna, you going to be ok?" he whispered to her.
"What d'you think!" she whimpered. She finally rose up from her hands and Squid saw the tears that had fallen down her face. It hurt him to see her like this. She wiped away her tears and picked up her switchblade.
"Whoa, no common. You really don't need to start this again."
"I'm not going to do it. I'd never have the guts to cut myself to death. I could kill myself but never with a switchblade. It just makes me feel a little better." she whispered.
**End of Flashback**
"I'm a stupid lying bitch!" she said to herself staring at her switchblade. "I could and I will slit my neck. I would. I don't deserve living in this damn world. Alan deserves so much better than me... I'm a liar, a thief, and a drug addict... He deserves the best. Not me..."
She got her switchblade and flipped it open. The blade glimmered and she placed it onto her wrist. The cool, sliver blade began to cut her right wrist. Blood began to fall down her arm creating a stream of blood running down her arm. Tears silently fell down her face. "I let everyone down... Everyone!" she said cutting herself again.
Blood falling.
***
Squid stopped. Something was keeping him from going any further from Brianna. Something was wrong. He turned around and walked in the direction she had ran away in. What was happening that made him stop? He grew worried about her. What was she doing? He began to run faster. What if she was hurt? What if it wasn't even Brianna that was stopping him?
***
Brianna watched the blood trickle down her arm. She winced in pain, but she liked it. She liked the pain. "Bullet proofs the soul. Pain is the only option. I must punish myself in order to bullet proof my soul." she whimpered as the blood spattered onto the floor. She brought the blade to her left shoulder and slashed it. Blood flooded out of the cut. She felt light headed and she couldn't see straight. Her eyes fluttered and finally she couldn't take it.
She collapsed.
She became unconscious. She fell into the pool of her own blood.
***
Squid was walking down the street and saw a TV shop. He stopped to see what was going on.
"Breaking news! Earlier today a midteen female was found in an ally today. She was cut on her right wrist and a gash in her left shoulder. She was found by a citizen and brought to the local hospital. She lost a considerable amount of blood, which could prove fatal to her. More details at eleven," said the reporter.
"What!?" shouted Squid looking flabbergasted by this. He decided to go the hospital and see what happened. "Brianna..." he hissed in a low voice. He started to run toward the local hospital.
***
Shaily sat in her room shocked by the breaking news. "BRIANNA!" she cried out. She grabbed the phone and dialed Kayla's number. "KAYLA!"
"I know I already saw it. You think it was-?" asked Kayla.
"Hell yes! I mean Brianna has got a past of being rather suicidal. Unless she was jumped which I doubt, but you never know!" cried Shaily.
"I know!" Kayla said firmly. "I'll call the other girls. Meet me at the hospital ASAP! Ok?"
"Right, of course!" Shaily answered.
"Ok see you later!" Kayla said as she hung up the phone to call the other girls. Shaily hung the phone up and ran down the stairs and out the door. She grabbed her bike and began to peddle toward the hospital.
What if Brianna actually went through with her suicidal ways this time?
What if she actually killed herself?