24 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--DINING ROOM -- 24 The dining room is elegant, in similar decor to the Hall, but it is somewhat more comfortable. However, the room is still small. At one end, there is a door and a metal partition, both leading to the kitchen. The guests file in. TIMMY You'll find your names beside your places. Please be seated. The guests, except for Col. Jorgen, find their places and sit. Timmy sets Cosmos's drink on the table, to her pleasure. JORGEN (indicating the head of the table) Is this place for you? TIMMY Oh, indeed, no, sir. I'm merely a humble butler. JORGEN And what exactly do you do? TIMMY I buttle, sir. JORGEN Which means what? TIMMY The butler is head of the kitchen and dining room. I keep everything . . . tidy. That's all. Col. Jorgen attempts to continue but is interrupted by Wanda. WANDA Well, what's all this about, butler; this dinner party? TIMMY "Ours is not to reason why . . . Ours is but to do and die" CHIP "Die"? TIMMY (smiling) Merely quoting, sir, from Alfred, Lord Tennyson. JORGEN (now seated next to Cosmos) Hm. I prefer Kipling, myself. "The female of the species is more deadly than the male." (to Cosmos) You like Kipling, Cosmos? COSMOS Sure, I'll eat anything. Tixie enters carrying a tray. TIXIE (to Wanda) Sharks' Fin Soup, Madame. Jorgen (again indicating head) So is this for our host? TIMMY No, sir. For the seventh guest, Vicky. AHPTRODITE I thought Vicky was our host? The guests all concur. AHPTRODITE So who is our host, Mr. Timmy? Timmy chuckles with a closed smile. CHIP Well, I want to start, while it's still hot. WANDA Oh, now shouldn't we wait for the other guest? TIXIE I will keep somesing warm for eem. COSMOS What did you have in mind, dear? Silence. Chip slurps soup from his spoon. Aphirodite disapproves, then does the same. Jorgen, Cosmos, and Cosmo stare at them, spoons poised near mouths. They do it again. Silence. WANDA (breathlessly) Well, someone's got to break the ice, and it might as well be me. I mean, I'm used to being a hostess; it's part of my husband's work, and it's always difficult when a group of new friends meet together for the first time to get acquainted, so I'm perfectly prepared to start the ball rolling . . . I mean, I have absolutely no idea what we're doing here, or what I'm doing here, or what this place is about, but I am determined to enjoy myself and I'm very intrigued and oh, my, this soup's delicious isn't it? Everyone sits bewildered. AHPIRODITE You say you are used to being a hostess as part of your husband's work? WANDA Yes, it's an integral part of your life when you are the wife of a. . . oh, but then I forgot we're not supposed to say who we really are, though heavens to Betsy, I don't know why. JORGEN Don't you. COSMO I know who you are. COSMOS Aren't you going to tell us? WANDA (removes glasses nervously) How do you know who I am? COSMO I work in Washington, too. CHIP Oh, so you're a politician's wife. WANDA Yes, I-I am. JORGEN Well, come on, then. Who's your husband? Suddenly, Timmy opens the door from the kitchen. WANDA (to Ahpirodite) So, what does your husband do?AHPIRODITE (almost cutting her off) Nothing. WANDA Nothing? AHPIRODITE Well, he . . . just . . . lies around on his back all day. COSMOS Sounds like hard work to me. Tixie, in the kitchen, opens the partition suddenly. The noise coincides with a crash of thunder. Cosmo, jumpy as ever, spills his drink again, this time on Cosmos. COSMO I'm . . . sorry. I'm afraid I'm a little accident-prone. He starts to wipe off her upper chest. COSMOS Ah--watch it. He stops. Tixie starts serving food. TIXIE Excuse moi. The guests start eating. WANDA Mmm! This is one of my favorite recipes! TIMMY I know, madam. WANDA So, what do you do in Washington, D.C., Cosmo? No answer. WANDA Come on, what do you do? I mean, how are we to get acquainted if we don't say anything about ourselves? COSMOS (angrily) Perhaps he doesn't want to get acquainted with you. WANDA (bothered) Well, I'm sure I don't know, but if I wasn't trying to keep the conversation going, then we would just be sitting here in an embarrassed silence. CHIP Are you afraid of silence, Wanda? WANDA Yes! What? No, why? CHIP Oh, it just seems to me that you seem to suffer from what we call pressure of speech. COSMOS "We"? Who's "we"? Are you a shrink? CHIP I do know a little bit about psychological medicine, yes. AHPIRODITE Are you a doctor? CHIP I am, but I don't practice. COSMOS Practice makes perfect. Ha. I think most men need a little practice, don't you, Wanda? Wanda shrugs, very uncomfortable. AHPIRODITE So what do you do, Chip? CHIP I work for UNO, the United Nations Organization. JORGEN Another politician. Jesus! CHIP No, I work for a branch of UNO. W.H.O., the World Health Organization. WANDA Well, what is your area of special concern? CHIP Family planning. (to Jorgen) What about you, Colonel? Are you a real colonel? JORGEN (seriously) I am, sir. COSMOS You're not going to mention the coincidence that you also live in Washington, D.C.? JORGEN How did you know that? Have we met before? COSMOS I've certainly seen you before. Although you may not have seen me. COSMO So, Cosmos, does this mean that you live in Washington, too? COSMOS Sure do. WANDA Does anyone here not live in Washington, D.C.? CHIP I don't. COSMO Yes, but you work for the United Nations. That's a government job. And the rest of us all live in a government town. Anyone here not earn their living from the government in one way or another? Col. Jorgen stands suddenly. JORGEN (angrily, to Timmy) Timmy, where's our host, and why have we been brought here? The doorbell rings. Timmy exits. We hear the door opening and Timmy speaks. TIMMY (O.S.) Ah! Good evening. You are eagerly awaited. MAN (O.S.) You lockin' me in? I'll take the key. TIMMY (O.S.) Over my dead body, sir. May I take your bag? MAN (O.S.) No. I'll leave it here 'til I need it. TIMMY (O.S.) It contains evidence, I presume? MAN (O.S.) Surprises, my friend. That's what it contains--surprises! Timmy enters the dining room, followed by the man. TIMMY Ladies and gentlemen, may I present Vicky. VICKY What are they all doin' here? TIMMY Eating dinner. Do sit down, VICKY. VICKY (sitting) Thanks. Tixie starts to serve him VICKY Nah, you can take that away, honey. Wanda hits the table. WANDA (angrily) Look. I demand to know what's going on. Now why have we all been dragged up to this horrible place? TIMMY Well. I believe we all received a letter. My letter says, "It will be to your advantage to be present on this date because a Vicky will bring to an end a certain long-standing confidential and painful financial liability." It is signed, "A friend." COSMO I received a similar letter. COSMOS So did we, didn't we. (indicating Chip) VICKY I also received a letter. (Tixie starts to serve him again) No thanks, Tixie. I just ate. COSMO Now, how did you know her name? VICKY We know each other. (puts his hand up Tixie's (short) skirt) Don't we, dear? She recoils. TIMMY Forgive my curiosity, Vicky, but did your letter say the same thing? VICKY No. TIMMY I see . . . (to group) Can I interest any of you in fruit or dessert? No response. TIMMY In that case, may I suggest we adjourn to the study for coffee and brandy, at which point I believe our unknown host will reveal his intentions.

25 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--THE STUDY -- 25 The study is by far the most comfortable room we've seen so far. It is decorated in subdued tan colors. There are several couches, a bookshelf, a table with drinks, and a desk. The guests enter and look around for their host. COSMO Well, there's no one here. TIMMY (to the guests in general) Please help yourself to brandy and be seated. Timmy goes to the desk and takes a manilla envelope. It reads For Timmy Open AFTER DINNER. AHPIRODITE Mind if I smoke? Chip, seated next to Comos, lights her cigarette. Timmy opens the envelope. He peruses the contents. TIMMY Ladies and gentlemen, I'm instructed to you what you all have in common with each other. Unless you would care to do the honors, Vicky? VICKY Why me? They know who I am? TIMMY I don't think so. You've never identified yourself to them, I believe. Vicky stands suddenly. VICKY It's a hoax! I suggest we all leave. He takes off out the study door. TIMMY (in pursuit) I'm sorry, sir, you cannot leave this house!