29 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--THE HALL -- 29 The guests run to the door of the billiard room. Cosmo tries it. COSMO: It's locked! TIMMY: Open up! CHIP: It must be the murderer. COSMO: Why would he scream? AHPIRODITE: He must have a victim in there. Oh, my God! Tixie! COSMO: Oh, my God! The doors open.
30 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--BILLIARD ROOM -- 30 The guests pour in. TIMMY: You're alive! TIXIE: No sanks to you! TIMMY: What do you mean? TIXIE: You lock me up with a murderer, you eediot! AHPIRODITE: So the murderer is in this room. TIXIE: Mai Oui! COSMO: But where? TIXIE: Where? 'Ere! Cosmo looks behind the door. TIXIE: We are all looking at eem. Or 'er. Is what Ahpirodite said in ze study--one of you is ze killer! CHIP: How did you know we said that? TIXIE: I was lisuning! AHPIRODITE: But why were you screaming in here all by yourself? TIXIE: Because I am frightened. Me too, I also drink ze cognac. (sobbing) Mon diou. I can't stay in here by myself. Lady Cosmos and Col. Jorgen go to Tixie. COSMOS: Come back to the study with us. TIXIE: With ze murderer? JORGEN: (shaking the wrench) There is safety in numbers . . . (realizing and putting the wrench away) . . . my dear. The guests leave the room. After they are gone, Timmy takes the tape off the spools.
31 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--THE STUDY -- 31 COSMO: Is there no indication of how he died? CHIP: No. TIMMY: This is terrible. This is absolutely terrible! It's not what I'd intended. Oh, my God . . . WANDA: Not what YOU intended? COSMOS: So you're not the butler? TIMMY: I'm not THE butler, but I am A butler. In fact, I was his butler. CHIP: So if he told you to invite us all to his house, why did he arrive late? TIMMY: I invited you. In fact, I wrote the letters. It was all my idea. AHPIRODITE: Wait a minute. I-I don't understand. Why did you invite us here to meet your late employer? Were you assisting her to blackmail us? TIMMY: Certainly not! COSMOS: I think you had better explain. TIMMY: Please sit down. Everyone. Everyone sits but Cosmo. He searches for a spot, but no one gives it to him. He ends up leaning against a serving table. TIMMY: When I said that I was Vicky's butler, this was both true and misleading. I was once her butler, but it was not her untimely death this evening that brought my employment with her to an end. JORGEN: When did it come to an end? TIMMY: When my wife decided to . . . end her life. She too was being blackmailed by this odious woman who now lies dead before us. Her hated my wife for the same reason that her hated all of you. Her believed that you were all thoroughly . . . . . . UN-AMERICAN. Cosmo's serving table gives way, landing him (and several pieces of crystal) on the floor. COSMO: Sorry. TIMMY: For some reason, her felt that it was inappropriate for a senator to have a corrupt wife, for a doctor to take advantage of his patients, for a wife to emasculate her husband and . . . and . . . so forth. COSMO: But this is ridiculous! If her was such a patriotic American, why didn't her just report us to the authorities? TIMMY: Her decided to put her information to good use and make a little money out of it. What could be more American than that? Several nods. CHIP: And what was your role in all this? TIMMY: I was . . . a victim, too. At least my wife was. She had friends who were . . . (this is obviously painful for him) . . . Socialists. Gasps and muttering from several guests, the most vocal of whom is Wanda. TIMMY: (holding back tears) Well, we all make mistakes . . . (Ahpirodite pulls a tissue from her bra and gives it to him.) TIMMY: But Vicky threatened to give my wife's name to the House Un-American Activities Committee unless she named them. She refused, and so her blackmailed her. We had no money, and the price of her silence was that we worked for her for nothing. We were slaves! Well, to make a long story short-- JORGEN: Too late. TIMMY: --The suicide of my wife preyed on my mind, and created a sense of injustice in me. I resolved to put Vicky behind bars. It seemed to be the best way to do it, and to free all of you from the same burden of blackmail was to get everyone face to face, confront Vicky with her crimes, and then . . . . . . turn her over to the police. CHIP: So, everything is explained. COSMOS: Nothing's explained. We still don't know who killed her! TIMMY: Well, the point is, we've got to find out in the next thirty-nine minutes. Before the police arrive! WANDA: My God, we can't have them come here now-- COSMO: But . . . how can we possibly find out which of you did it? CHIP: What do you mean which of "you" did it? COSMO: Well, I didn't do it! TIMMY: Well, one of us did. We all had the opportunity, we all had a motive. COSMOS: Great. We'll all go to the chair. CHIP: Maybe it wasn't one of us. JORGEN: Well, who else could it have been? CHIP: Who else is in the house? Timmy and Tixie Only the (ze) cook. ALL: The cook!
32 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--THE HALL -- 32 The party runs from the study to the Kitchen.
30 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--BILLIARD ROOM -- 30 The guests pour in. TIMMY: You're alive! TIXIE: No sanks to you! TIMMY: What do you mean? TIXIE: You lock me up with a murderer, you eediot! AHPIRODITE: So the murderer is in this room. TIXIE: Mai Oui! COSMO: But where? TIXIE: Where? 'Ere! Cosmo looks behind the door. TIXIE: We are all looking at eem. Or 'er. Is what Ahpirodite said in ze study--one of you is ze killer! CHIP: How did you know we said that? TIXIE: I was lisuning! AHPIRODITE: But why were you screaming in here all by yourself? TIXIE: Because I am frightened. Me too, I also drink ze cognac. (sobbing) Mon diou. I can't stay in here by myself. Lady Cosmos and Col. Jorgen go to Tixie. COSMOS: Come back to the study with us. TIXIE: With ze murderer? JORGEN: (shaking the wrench) There is safety in numbers . . . (realizing and putting the wrench away) . . . my dear. The guests leave the room. After they are gone, Timmy takes the tape off the spools.
31 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--THE STUDY -- 31 COSMO: Is there no indication of how he died? CHIP: No. TIMMY: This is terrible. This is absolutely terrible! It's not what I'd intended. Oh, my God . . . WANDA: Not what YOU intended? COSMOS: So you're not the butler? TIMMY: I'm not THE butler, but I am A butler. In fact, I was his butler. CHIP: So if he told you to invite us all to his house, why did he arrive late? TIMMY: I invited you. In fact, I wrote the letters. It was all my idea. AHPIRODITE: Wait a minute. I-I don't understand. Why did you invite us here to meet your late employer? Were you assisting her to blackmail us? TIMMY: Certainly not! COSMOS: I think you had better explain. TIMMY: Please sit down. Everyone. Everyone sits but Cosmo. He searches for a spot, but no one gives it to him. He ends up leaning against a serving table. TIMMY: When I said that I was Vicky's butler, this was both true and misleading. I was once her butler, but it was not her untimely death this evening that brought my employment with her to an end. JORGEN: When did it come to an end? TIMMY: When my wife decided to . . . end her life. She too was being blackmailed by this odious woman who now lies dead before us. Her hated my wife for the same reason that her hated all of you. Her believed that you were all thoroughly . . . . . . UN-AMERICAN. Cosmo's serving table gives way, landing him (and several pieces of crystal) on the floor. COSMO: Sorry. TIMMY: For some reason, her felt that it was inappropriate for a senator to have a corrupt wife, for a doctor to take advantage of his patients, for a wife to emasculate her husband and . . . and . . . so forth. COSMO: But this is ridiculous! If her was such a patriotic American, why didn't her just report us to the authorities? TIMMY: Her decided to put her information to good use and make a little money out of it. What could be more American than that? Several nods. CHIP: And what was your role in all this? TIMMY: I was . . . a victim, too. At least my wife was. She had friends who were . . . (this is obviously painful for him) . . . Socialists. Gasps and muttering from several guests, the most vocal of whom is Wanda. TIMMY: (holding back tears) Well, we all make mistakes . . . (Ahpirodite pulls a tissue from her bra and gives it to him.) TIMMY: But Vicky threatened to give my wife's name to the House Un-American Activities Committee unless she named them. She refused, and so her blackmailed her. We had no money, and the price of her silence was that we worked for her for nothing. We were slaves! Well, to make a long story short-- JORGEN: Too late. TIMMY: --The suicide of my wife preyed on my mind, and created a sense of injustice in me. I resolved to put Vicky behind bars. It seemed to be the best way to do it, and to free all of you from the same burden of blackmail was to get everyone face to face, confront Vicky with her crimes, and then . . . . . . turn her over to the police. CHIP: So, everything is explained. COSMOS: Nothing's explained. We still don't know who killed her! TIMMY: Well, the point is, we've got to find out in the next thirty-nine minutes. Before the police arrive! WANDA: My God, we can't have them come here now-- COSMO: But . . . how can we possibly find out which of you did it? CHIP: What do you mean which of "you" did it? COSMO: Well, I didn't do it! TIMMY: Well, one of us did. We all had the opportunity, we all had a motive. COSMOS: Great. We'll all go to the chair. CHIP: Maybe it wasn't one of us. JORGEN: Well, who else could it have been? CHIP: Who else is in the house? Timmy and Tixie Only the (ze) cook. ALL: The cook!
32 -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--THE HALL -- 32 The party runs from the study to the Kitchen.