~Snippets~
"Arms to catch me when I fall…"
Kid. I wonder, do you have any idea what you're doing? No. I do not truly wonder. You know more than I about this journey you are making. Down a long path, no doubt. I only hope this woman understands you enough to be the crutch you will need. I pray that she is strong enough to carry your weight, as you all ready carry the weight of too many others.
Kid. May I still call you that, Gohan? You are eighteen now. A man in the eyes of the world, and yet still a boy. No, you have not been a boy since the day your heritage was revealed. No boy would carry the shadows in his soul that you do. Shadows that I was helpful enough to put there for you. Sometimes I wonder why you do not hate me, Kid. I will continue to call you that; it is who you are to me.
I wonder. I really do. It used to be that I always knew all of the answers for you. I knew who you were. I knew your dreams, your desires, and your fears. You used to confide them in me. You used to come to me for the support you needed. Now you share these things, these thoughts and feelings, with this woman. With Satan Videl. I wonder, kid, does she understand you like I do? Like I used too.
Do you still need me?
Feh. Not that it would matter if you didn't. Or perhaps, it would. I will never deign to tell you that though, Gohan. You may have been an annoyingly cheerful brat of a kid, but you needed me. You used to look at me with a respect and love that most reserve only for they're father. I do not believe I have ever seen you regard your own father like that. I can see the love you feel for him, but it has never been like the love you have shown me.
Or perhaps this old Namek is biased. I think it has all ready been proven that I have gone soft.
Never the less, Gohan, I would be proud to call you son. I have always been proud to call you friend. The one little brat that managed to get under my thick green flesh. Brat? Who am I kidding. You were a brat at the time to my experience, but having since dealt with that spoiled brother of yours and his purple haired cohort, I have been forced to reconsider even that.
Perhaps it is that they are just being children. I was never allowed that luxury. Neither were you.
And now you are going to be a father. Feh, Kid. You don't bother to talk to me for months, and then you choose to tell me that you're going to have a brat of your own. Funny, here I thought you all ready had one. Or do you not see the loving way your younger sibling looks at you and trails after you. Much the same way you used to treat me. He thinks of you as the father Son Goku has never been able to be to either of you, Gohan. Good. At least I know I have influenced you. You are not the incompetent fool your father has repeatedly proven himself to be.
Kid. You're diving in head first I see. You plan to get married right away as well. Kid, I can't protect you here. I cannot guide you down this path. I have never taken it. I am uncertain, Gohan. Of course you cannot see that, I will not let you. I am uncertain though. I do not know if I should let you take this path. I would like to… no, I must protect you at all costs, kid. Even in matters of the heart. I realize that I failed you miserably with Cell, when that blundering idiot of a father put you in a position no nine year-old should ever see. As much as it was his fault, it was mine. I allowed him to do it and I was not strong enough to protect you from the backlash.
I know kid… your going to follow this road with or with out my permission. Why do you look so concerned? Is it that you can see my uncertainty? Forgive me kid, I often forget that you know me perhaps better than I know you. I do not understand, are you still asking for my permission? You will marry her and have your child even were I to say no. We both know that.
I see. You are acting as a son. You are uncertain too. You just want your guardian with you. Gohan, I've all ready said I can not protect you here, but you must believe me when I tell you that I wish I could. Not my protection, Gohan? Then what is it you want of me?
"Arms to catch me when I fall…"
Gohan, you did not need to ask for that. A father grants such things with out request. Don't worry, kid, I will always catch you, even when I can no longer protect you. Have you not figured it out yet, brat? My arms have always been open for you. Always.
Just don't let that get out to anyone. We both know I've gone soft; there is no need to share that with the rest of the world.
What? You want me to come to your wedding… Kid a wedding is no place for the likes of me…
"Arms to catch me when I fall…"
Fine, kid. You win. You knew that from the start though. I really have gone soft. But I will smile for you, child of my heart, you have shown me that I am still needed.
_________________________________
"I still love you, Daddy."
I can't believe this. My one and only daughter, my beloved sweet pea… is graduating high school today. I guess I pictured her off to some distant college after graduating Orange Star. She's told me enough times how she despises me, whishes she could just leave. She's got every right. I've been a terrible father too her. I can see that all right now. I lied to her.
I lied to everyone.
I took the credit for a battle won that I had nothin' to do with. No, I was the one that threw that disgusting android's head into the battle field. That's what made the boy glow all funny like and take out Cell. Am I bragging about that, even to myself?
Yeah, Hercule, some great savior of the world you are. You were the one bent over with a stomach ache. Hell, that weren't even real. Before those aliens and the like came along, I was the strongest person in the world. I was world champ! Now that belt don't even really belong to me. No, I had to pay some blonde bimbo off to get it last time. Some world champ, Satan Hercule.
It's no wonder your daughter hates your guts.
It's a real irony that she's marryin' the kid who was the truth behind the lie.
Little punk alien kid anyhow. Not even any proper manners, nockin' up my daughter before they're even married! Taken my little Videl away from me.
Still, I had a certain respect for the boy. After all, I've always told my daughter she could only date boys stronger than I am. 'Course, that was supposed to make her untouchable. Sure as shit though, she found one stronger than me. The boy could flatten me with out breaken' a sweat. Though, Videl could probably beat me too… she was a real good fighter. That little trooper really took after her dear old daddy.
Not that I'd ever tell her that. Of course.
Damn the boy. Problem is, he knows the truth. I know, I know, he's never rubbed it under my nose or the like. But he could. That alone is enough to make me hate him! That and… he took my daughter! Yeah, I suppose, I did give him permission. But she does seem so happy. At least, when she isn't angry. Her ole' lady had mood swings like that when she was pregnant too.
My baby girl. It's for her that I'm sittin here in the parent seats. It's for her that I'm not makin' a show of myself. Just because everyone loves to see me and all… But my little Videl told me she didn't think I could manage to sit through a whole public doings with out being the center of attention. Ah… Videl. I do know how. I didn't always used to do this shit. Then, I wasn't always famous and adored by millions either.
Oh, my baby girl. I wouldn't ever steal your thunder, Sweet Pea. And this, this high school graduation, this is your show. You strut your stuff and show 'em what a Satan is made of! There into the S's. Satan Videl. Yes! That's my baby up there, getting her diploma! Oh right, don't glare at your daddy like that hunny, I'm just proud of you is all. Can't I show it?
Ah… and then there's that woman. Damn it Videl, this scary woman your gonna call mother in law is screamin' louder for her son than I did for you, why aren't you glarin' at her too? Because your to damn busy gawkin' at the little scholar earnin' show off that you plan to marry. All right, so he's Valedictorian of your class. He all ready said his speech; you can quite looking so impressed with him!
Yeah, damn that Son woman any how. Heh, I all ready got the last laugh on her. Stupid, vile, impressively-strong-and-threatening, wench. She thought she was going to get my little girl all to herself. She thought she was going to get my grandbaby all to herself! Stupid women, trying to force my daughter to live way out in the boondocks where they can't even get proper medical attention. I don't think so!
The daughter of Satan Hercule will only live in the best of places. Like the Satan Apartment High Rise. She and I went about the place until she found an apartment she liked. That boy had agreed, but I don't think he liked the idea of living in an apartment. Heh, like I give a rat's ass what he thinks! It's my daughter that's important, and lucky for him, he agrees with me. I'm paying for the apartment now. Though, that runt keeps insisting that he will pay me back for it. Doesn't he get it? I'm rich! I can afford little things like that! Ah well, at least he's got good work ethic.
Ah! We're done with this Shin'dig! Yeah everyone's up and clapping! Hah, well, a Satan can out clap anyone! That's my daughter's class graduating up there! Why is that girl of mine glowering at me again? All right, so maybe I was being a little louder than I should. I'm tryin' Sweetie. Really!
I see all the students in there blue gowns fanning out into the crowd of parents. I see 'em all, but I have eyes only for my princess. And she… she only has eyes for him. Ah baby, I can't stand to loose you like this! I know, I know I haven't been to good at this father thing, I couldn't even keep my promise to you today but… Sweetie, why you smilin' at me like that?
"I still love you, Daddy."
Really? Oh, Videl. That's all a father ever really wants to hear. Even an old blowhard like me.
______________________________
Promises…
I don't get it, big brother. I don't think I want to. You're leaving me. That's all I need to know.
No, Gohan, please, don't try to explain it to me again. You've been through it three times. I just want to run from this room and cry in peace. Why won't you let me do that, big brother? Why won't you let me go?
"I have to know you understand, little one."
I plug my thumb into my mouth, it's almost reflex. It's what I do when ever I feel lonely. I think that's gonna happen a lot more often now. Understand, big brother? How can I? You're leaving me.
"That's not true"
His tone is gentle. It always is. Gohan's always real nice to me.
"I would never just leave you, Goten."
Then why'd you just tell me you were big brother? You're moving away, I heard you! That's leaving. He smiles at me, in that way he does. It makes me think he must have all the answers in the world. But… he had just said he was moving, right? In with Videl. I like Videl, I really do, but I don't want to share you with her, Gohan! You're my big bother and nobody elses.
"Goten, I can't stay here for ever. I have to have my own life, but that doesn't mean I'm leaving you."
Your own life? What about mine! Didn't you know that you make the world go round, big brother? With out you here, I don't think the sun's gonna rise anymore. And… And… Nobody'll be around to scare the demons at night no more. He laughs, laughs!
"Squirt, I promise the sun will still come up. Where do you get these ideas?"
Daddy was away for a long time Gohan. I never saw him. I don't wanna never see you! He moves to pull me into a hug, I let him, unlike the last three times he'd tried. It feels good to be held by him, nothing can get me here. The only thing that can hurt me now… is Gohan himself.
"I'm not going away like that, Goten. I'll be right over in Satan City. I'll call you every night, little one, if you think it will help."
Okay, big brother. I take my thumb out of my mouth and wrap my hands in his loose shirt. It's not the same, but… No matter how much I cry, you're still going to go. No, I don't hold it against you, Gohan. I can't, I'm hurting you like this and I know it. I don't wanna hurt you. Not the bestest person in the whole world. But it won't be the same.
"Those demons… I'm sure Dad can help you with those at night…"
I know he's just trying to make me feel better. But, Dad? Gohan, did he ever scare away your demons at night? I don't think he did. You still have them. We've always shared a room; I know that you still have them, big brother. How can you expect him to help me where he never helped you? Besides, he's not you.
"I… see. I guess I can't argue that. Than, lets make a solemn promise between brothers, Squirt. I promise that if you ever really need me, I will come here in a flash. You promise to call me if things get bad, or you just want someone to talk to. And you can come visit anytime."
A promise? I guess I can do that… It's still not the same. But maybe… maybe it will all work out. Just don't ever really leave me, big brother, I'd never forgive you.
Author's Note: Yes, I know, It's almost painfully short. But after that sappy muck you just waded through, you really can't blame a girl for leaving off where she did. Kind of just a reflection of what others may be thinking. I thinking a few more chapters like this one may find them selves interspersed through out this story. I just have to get myself back into seriously writing…
Well, I appreciate all of the constructive criticism form you folks! And, yes, the controversy. I hope to get more of those thought invoking reviews from you. Trust me, I read and consider them all. And, they help me get on track with what's important, writing a good, well rounded story. Let's just hope I can find the urge to keep going on this again for a while.
Bye the way *Grins* lets have a big ole' thumbs up folks, I have 100 reviews!