Sinful Jade
It takes me only moments to realize she isn't going upwards again. She's drowning herself. I scold myself for my ruthless watching and hurry forward, taking off my cloak and throwing it on the ground; I don't care about the clothes underneath. All I care about is her. She's alive, I think to myself, trying to be confident as I sink myself underneath the flowing water. The cold stings my eyes, but I keep my eyes open, even though I know they'll be red when I come out. I search for her, tilting my head everywhere, trying to find her, and then I see her, unconscious, her eyes closed, her arms failing helplessley across the water. I swim toward her, and grab her by the waist, clutching her tightly to me, sprinting forward, and throwing my head back as I plunge into the night air. I am back once more, and she is safe in my arms as I collapse in the ground, my mouth over hers, my two fingers keeping hold of her nose as I push on her chest, trying to find her breath again.
....
I can feel myself struggle for breath as I lunge into the water, but I clench my fists in fury, reminding myself that life is nothing more than images that terrify me, and events that make me sorrowful. I succeed in losing my breath, my mouth open, water pouring inside me, and darkness flooding me. I am walking toward my end, I am walking; but before I can reach it, something pulls me out of my darkness. I feel as if I have been blasted out of ice as I sharply sit up, water gurgling from my mouth and into the grass. I feel dizzy, my eyes are out of focus for several seconds. I reach around with my hands and I feel something alive. I have to blink rapidly just to get my vision again. It's Draco. I crawl myself into his arms, my breath on his neck.
"Did I...am I dead?" I demand in a croaked whisper.
He doesn't respond. He shoves me away so I fall to the ground harshly. His touch is still diving into my blood.
"What?" I exclaim. "Why did you do that?" My face is flushed with both life and embarrassment. Is he repulsed by me? But didn't I feel his lips going on mine just a few seconds ago, saving my life?
"How could you," he says wildly, digging his fingernails into my arms as he leans over, "Why the hell did you do that? Were you putting on a show or something?"
"N-no," I stammer. "I had no idea you were..."
"Oh, come off it," he scoffs. "You knew. Maybe you don't think you knew, but you knew."
"You don't...you don't know the pain," I whisper.
"Do I look like I give a crap?" he says through gritted teeth. "I might not know the pain, but do you know what I would feel if you died? Do you ever care about anybody but yourself?"
I am speechless. I cannot even transfer what he is saying to my mind. All I can think of is clutching his arms for support, I want his soft lips on mine again.
"Draco..." I say, his first name rolling off of my tongue. I don't know what to say. He grasps my chin, and his lips go on mine, and I enjoy the feeling of tenderness, the tingling sensation it sends through my whole body. Those lips saved my life.
You knew. Maybe you don't think you knew but you knew, his words are sent blissfully into my mind.
And then we let go of each other, and a look of concentration comes over his face.
"I am sorry," he says.
"What..." Before I can even know what's happening, he puts his dirty cloak over me, so that it hugs my shoulders in warmth.
"I can't."
I can't.
"But..." I try to protest, but he isn't giving me any chance to.
"Nobody'll understand, Ginny. They'll never understand. We can't be together, you know that...I am ...jade," he explains. "It's practically a sin. I am a Slytherin...I am jade, you're a Gryffindor, you're red..."
I am trembling now. I stand up, fastening his cloak as my teeth clatters. I can barely stand. My knees threaten to fall under me, my breath is heavy. I step further to him, and he backs away an inch, but I wrap my arms around his waist, and before I can stop myself, I lean over, and whisper, "Red would look good on you."
His mouth moves without words as I finally tip my head across his, and let my lips surrender to his.
Maybe I did know.
It takes me only moments to realize she isn't going upwards again. She's drowning herself. I scold myself for my ruthless watching and hurry forward, taking off my cloak and throwing it on the ground; I don't care about the clothes underneath. All I care about is her. She's alive, I think to myself, trying to be confident as I sink myself underneath the flowing water. The cold stings my eyes, but I keep my eyes open, even though I know they'll be red when I come out. I search for her, tilting my head everywhere, trying to find her, and then I see her, unconscious, her eyes closed, her arms failing helplessley across the water. I swim toward her, and grab her by the waist, clutching her tightly to me, sprinting forward, and throwing my head back as I plunge into the night air. I am back once more, and she is safe in my arms as I collapse in the ground, my mouth over hers, my two fingers keeping hold of her nose as I push on her chest, trying to find her breath again.
....
I can feel myself struggle for breath as I lunge into the water, but I clench my fists in fury, reminding myself that life is nothing more than images that terrify me, and events that make me sorrowful. I succeed in losing my breath, my mouth open, water pouring inside me, and darkness flooding me. I am walking toward my end, I am walking; but before I can reach it, something pulls me out of my darkness. I feel as if I have been blasted out of ice as I sharply sit up, water gurgling from my mouth and into the grass. I feel dizzy, my eyes are out of focus for several seconds. I reach around with my hands and I feel something alive. I have to blink rapidly just to get my vision again. It's Draco. I crawl myself into his arms, my breath on his neck.
"Did I...am I dead?" I demand in a croaked whisper.
He doesn't respond. He shoves me away so I fall to the ground harshly. His touch is still diving into my blood.
"What?" I exclaim. "Why did you do that?" My face is flushed with both life and embarrassment. Is he repulsed by me? But didn't I feel his lips going on mine just a few seconds ago, saving my life?
"How could you," he says wildly, digging his fingernails into my arms as he leans over, "Why the hell did you do that? Were you putting on a show or something?"
"N-no," I stammer. "I had no idea you were..."
"Oh, come off it," he scoffs. "You knew. Maybe you don't think you knew, but you knew."
"You don't...you don't know the pain," I whisper.
"Do I look like I give a crap?" he says through gritted teeth. "I might not know the pain, but do you know what I would feel if you died? Do you ever care about anybody but yourself?"
I am speechless. I cannot even transfer what he is saying to my mind. All I can think of is clutching his arms for support, I want his soft lips on mine again.
"Draco..." I say, his first name rolling off of my tongue. I don't know what to say. He grasps my chin, and his lips go on mine, and I enjoy the feeling of tenderness, the tingling sensation it sends through my whole body. Those lips saved my life.
You knew. Maybe you don't think you knew but you knew, his words are sent blissfully into my mind.
And then we let go of each other, and a look of concentration comes over his face.
"I am sorry," he says.
"What..." Before I can even know what's happening, he puts his dirty cloak over me, so that it hugs my shoulders in warmth.
"I can't."
I can't.
"But..." I try to protest, but he isn't giving me any chance to.
"Nobody'll understand, Ginny. They'll never understand. We can't be together, you know that...I am ...jade," he explains. "It's practically a sin. I am a Slytherin...I am jade, you're a Gryffindor, you're red..."
I am trembling now. I stand up, fastening his cloak as my teeth clatters. I can barely stand. My knees threaten to fall under me, my breath is heavy. I step further to him, and he backs away an inch, but I wrap my arms around his waist, and before I can stop myself, I lean over, and whisper, "Red would look good on you."
His mouth moves without words as I finally tip my head across his, and let my lips surrender to his.
Maybe I did know.