Disclaimer: I do not own Cowboy Bebop or any of its characters. Lyrics from "Uninvited" by Alanis Morisette have been used.
Author's Note: I have no idea how woolongs work. So if the numbers seem off, I apologize.
Undo What's Done
It was supposed to be anything but awkward.
But that was how it become between them. The next three days were...strange, and just awkward enough for Jet to notice, but to ignore. There was a bounty they were tracking down, so during the day they were out and Faye would be on her own.
Every night, Spike would go into Faye's room, but only when it was late. She would already be in bed and he would crawl in next to her. They would kiss, murmur pleasantries, and then sleep.
But come the morning, he would be gone. Always before she would wake up, he would slip out of her room. During breakfast, there would be silence. And then he was off for the day. Three days and nights of this: silence and awkwardness.
She supposed she should have expected it. After all, it had all happened so suddenly. And, in a way, they were strangers. He spoke nothing of what had happened during the time he had been gone. She didn't tell him how the nothingness was starting to eat at her, more and more each day.
They were not even sleeping with each other.
Well, in the literal sense they were, but after that one night, neither had attempted to do more than lie in each other's arms. And maybe kiss. But, that was all.
I did say 'no pretty words.'
She didn't want him to tell her that he loved her or that he missed her. She didn't expect pet names or any real terms of endearment. Or flowers. Or candy.
She just wanted... to feel at home with him.
I could stay awake all night and not let him leave when morning comes.
Today was the fourth day. The fourth day of waking up to find him gone. The fourth day of a silent morning. Spike and Jet would be back soon, though. All the time they had spent on finding this particular bounty seemed to have paid off, for Jet had called in earlier to let her know they had caught the criminal. After they received their bounty, they would be back. With a lot of money.
She wondered if they knew what she did while they were out. She'd gotten a good deal when she'd sold her Redtail, 500, 000 woolongs. She vaguely remembered the time she had first met them, they had locked her in the bathroom and handcuffed her, and Spike had told her that he would sell it for 400K. She smiled at the memory.
Never underestimate the power of showing a little leg.
She had made a deal with herself. Save half, and "invest" the other half of the 500, 000. But she was not as reckless as she had been before. She still had the quick eyes and hands, the Poker Alice in her had not faded. But now she had the advantage of being more calculated, more patient. Gambling was only dangerous if you let it become dangerous. Faye had been extremely careful.
The 250,000 woolongs she gambled had tripled. She now had more than 1 million woolongs. And since the creditors wouldn't be bothering her anymore...
She laughed.
A few weeks ago, Faye had decided to talk to a lawyer. A real lawyer. She didn't know why she had not thought of it sooner. But, after the Whiteney incident, she had been hesitant in asking anyone for help. But, she was glad she did. She smiled while thinking of the 40-something woman who had helped her. A ball-breaking, smack talking, avid feminist, Mary Hegi had made quite the impression on Faye. She had listened to her story with widened eyes and vehement determination. It only took Mary a half hour in a room with the creditors for her debts to disappear. A half hour of outraged accusations of malpractice and insurance fraud and everything else in the book. Now that she thought about it, Faye should have known that the phony doctor and lawyer were grounds for her to sue. But, the old Faye had been too brash to think about things like that.
Faye wondered how Mary was, contemplating on contacting her. After all, she had told Faye to keep in touch. They had gotten along well.
Faye had needed female companionship more than ever at that time. And now... she needed to get her act together. Maybe Mary could help her out.
"Faye!"
Jet's booming voice started her from her thoughts.
That's his happy voice, isn't it?
She watched from where she sat as the two men entered the room. Jet was carrying a puppy. A tiny little brown thing with big shiny eyes.
"What's with the dog, jet?" she asked carefully. The dog barked, as if it were happy to be acknowledged.
"We found him," Jet answered, as if that explained everything. Faye hid her smile.
Always taking in one stray after another.
She watched as he took the puppy up the stairs, undoubtedly to give it food and a tour. She felt eyes on her.
"What's its name?" she asked.
Spike was standing at the end of the room, looking a little tired. He shrugged, turning his face away from hers.
So that's how it's gonna be.
Faye sighed and sat up. With one last glance at him, she started to leave.
"Faye."
She refused to turn around, but she turned her head slightly, to let him know she was listening.
"Come outside with me."
He didn't wait to see if she would follow. He knew she would.
It was about to get dark. The air was shifting gears, ready to abandon its warmth for the cold. They stood next to each other, close enough to touch if they wanted.
Faye rubbed her bare arms, her t-shirt did little to protect her from the weather. Spike was smoking, hands in his pockets, eyes staring off into the distance.
She looked away from him, her heart feeling heavy. She let out a loud sigh, already weary.
"Long day?" he asked, glancing sideways at her. His eyes always made her nervous and ready at the same time.
"Long life," she answered. Faye went closer to him, until they were facing each other.
It was quiet for a moment. But only a moment.
"It used to be simple between us, Faye."
"I was a different person then. So were you."
He nodded. She looked up at him, her eyes so intense he had to look away. Spike stared at her forehead, instead. Her head was against his shoulder, her arms encircling his waist.
Like anyone would be
I am flattered by your fascination with me
This was too strange. Her looking at him like that. Faye was defnitely a different person. Before he had left, he had not paid enough attention to her. Now, all he noticed was her.
What's happened?
He hadn't meant for it turn out like this. It was too much. Too intense. Too involved.
I have simply wanted an object to crave
It was wrong to try to replace his Julia. It was wrong for him to be alive. It was all just wrong... He had only wanted to feel something again.
But you, you're not allowed
You're uninvited
Faye held onto him like she was trying to get inside of him. He heard her whisper his name, the way some people whisper a prayer to God when they were desperate for something.
An unfortunate slight
He wanted to push her away and laugh at her, all so that she could hate him. But he couldn't. He stroked her hair, brushed his lips against her temple. All while trying to keep his breath steady.
Must be strangely exciting
To watch the stoic squirm
He was the calm, breezy one who didn't give a damn. Or, that was what he was supposed to be. But right now, he couldn't help himself. The hole that Julia's passing had left in him needed mending. He just needed to fill it. Even just a little.
Must be somewhat heartening
To watch shepherd need shepherd
They were the same. Both strong, both had their pasts as their weaknesses. But they stood alone well. They knew how to live by themselves, relying only on their pure instinct. However, the burden they carried had gotten too heavy for them to carry it themselves.
But Faye was not supposed to be the one to help him.
But you you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
She was not supposed to be the one he was holding. The thought made him sick. He wished himself dead.
"I can feel your mind. It's going so fast," she whispered, looking up to face him. His face was serious, but blank. It was always like this. Faye searched his face, willing him to reveal himself.
Like any uncharted territory
I must seem greatly intriguing
She looked at him as if he were answer, he realized. Like he was the key to whatever it was she needed opened. Or locked. If she only knew.
"It's her," she said, "you're thinking of her, aren't you?"
It was too much to bear. Spike looked away.
"It hurts, I know," she said softly, "I know it hurts. But-"
"Faye, please don't."
You speak of my love like
You have experienced love like mine before
No one could know what he felt. No one could know how it possibly felt to hold onto the one thing you cherish, the only one you deemed sacred, and have her die in your arms. Especially not Faye. She didn't know anything.
But he still wanted her there, next to him. And that was what made him pull away.
But this is not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
She was making him feel. Making him wake up.
"We need to rethink this. I don't see how this is good for either of us, Faye."
He fought to keep his voice steady, his tone collected. He didn't like the look in here eyes. It was as if she knew why he was acting this way.
"Oh, Spike-"
"Belonging isn't that important."
He wanted to take his own fist and smash it into his face. Even if it were for a short time, he had led her to believe that there was something between them. Regardless of the promise they had made, the knowledge that it would only be temporary. But even that was too much.
I don't think you unworthy
I need a moment to deliberate
"This happened too quickly."
And then her green eyes dimmed.
Author's Note: I have no idea how woolongs work. So if the numbers seem off, I apologize.
Undo What's Done
It was supposed to be anything but awkward.
But that was how it become between them. The next three days were...strange, and just awkward enough for Jet to notice, but to ignore. There was a bounty they were tracking down, so during the day they were out and Faye would be on her own.
Every night, Spike would go into Faye's room, but only when it was late. She would already be in bed and he would crawl in next to her. They would kiss, murmur pleasantries, and then sleep.
But come the morning, he would be gone. Always before she would wake up, he would slip out of her room. During breakfast, there would be silence. And then he was off for the day. Three days and nights of this: silence and awkwardness.
She supposed she should have expected it. After all, it had all happened so suddenly. And, in a way, they were strangers. He spoke nothing of what had happened during the time he had been gone. She didn't tell him how the nothingness was starting to eat at her, more and more each day.
They were not even sleeping with each other.
Well, in the literal sense they were, but after that one night, neither had attempted to do more than lie in each other's arms. And maybe kiss. But, that was all.
I did say 'no pretty words.'
She didn't want him to tell her that he loved her or that he missed her. She didn't expect pet names or any real terms of endearment. Or flowers. Or candy.
She just wanted... to feel at home with him.
I could stay awake all night and not let him leave when morning comes.
Today was the fourth day. The fourth day of waking up to find him gone. The fourth day of a silent morning. Spike and Jet would be back soon, though. All the time they had spent on finding this particular bounty seemed to have paid off, for Jet had called in earlier to let her know they had caught the criminal. After they received their bounty, they would be back. With a lot of money.
She wondered if they knew what she did while they were out. She'd gotten a good deal when she'd sold her Redtail, 500, 000 woolongs. She vaguely remembered the time she had first met them, they had locked her in the bathroom and handcuffed her, and Spike had told her that he would sell it for 400K. She smiled at the memory.
Never underestimate the power of showing a little leg.
She had made a deal with herself. Save half, and "invest" the other half of the 500, 000. But she was not as reckless as she had been before. She still had the quick eyes and hands, the Poker Alice in her had not faded. But now she had the advantage of being more calculated, more patient. Gambling was only dangerous if you let it become dangerous. Faye had been extremely careful.
The 250,000 woolongs she gambled had tripled. She now had more than 1 million woolongs. And since the creditors wouldn't be bothering her anymore...
She laughed.
A few weeks ago, Faye had decided to talk to a lawyer. A real lawyer. She didn't know why she had not thought of it sooner. But, after the Whiteney incident, she had been hesitant in asking anyone for help. But, she was glad she did. She smiled while thinking of the 40-something woman who had helped her. A ball-breaking, smack talking, avid feminist, Mary Hegi had made quite the impression on Faye. She had listened to her story with widened eyes and vehement determination. It only took Mary a half hour in a room with the creditors for her debts to disappear. A half hour of outraged accusations of malpractice and insurance fraud and everything else in the book. Now that she thought about it, Faye should have known that the phony doctor and lawyer were grounds for her to sue. But, the old Faye had been too brash to think about things like that.
Faye wondered how Mary was, contemplating on contacting her. After all, she had told Faye to keep in touch. They had gotten along well.
Faye had needed female companionship more than ever at that time. And now... she needed to get her act together. Maybe Mary could help her out.
"Faye!"
Jet's booming voice started her from her thoughts.
That's his happy voice, isn't it?
She watched from where she sat as the two men entered the room. Jet was carrying a puppy. A tiny little brown thing with big shiny eyes.
"What's with the dog, jet?" she asked carefully. The dog barked, as if it were happy to be acknowledged.
"We found him," Jet answered, as if that explained everything. Faye hid her smile.
Always taking in one stray after another.
She watched as he took the puppy up the stairs, undoubtedly to give it food and a tour. She felt eyes on her.
"What's its name?" she asked.
Spike was standing at the end of the room, looking a little tired. He shrugged, turning his face away from hers.
So that's how it's gonna be.
Faye sighed and sat up. With one last glance at him, she started to leave.
"Faye."
She refused to turn around, but she turned her head slightly, to let him know she was listening.
"Come outside with me."
He didn't wait to see if she would follow. He knew she would.
It was about to get dark. The air was shifting gears, ready to abandon its warmth for the cold. They stood next to each other, close enough to touch if they wanted.
Faye rubbed her bare arms, her t-shirt did little to protect her from the weather. Spike was smoking, hands in his pockets, eyes staring off into the distance.
She looked away from him, her heart feeling heavy. She let out a loud sigh, already weary.
"Long day?" he asked, glancing sideways at her. His eyes always made her nervous and ready at the same time.
"Long life," she answered. Faye went closer to him, until they were facing each other.
It was quiet for a moment. But only a moment.
"It used to be simple between us, Faye."
"I was a different person then. So were you."
He nodded. She looked up at him, her eyes so intense he had to look away. Spike stared at her forehead, instead. Her head was against his shoulder, her arms encircling his waist.
Like anyone would be
I am flattered by your fascination with me
This was too strange. Her looking at him like that. Faye was defnitely a different person. Before he had left, he had not paid enough attention to her. Now, all he noticed was her.
What's happened?
He hadn't meant for it turn out like this. It was too much. Too intense. Too involved.
I have simply wanted an object to crave
It was wrong to try to replace his Julia. It was wrong for him to be alive. It was all just wrong... He had only wanted to feel something again.
But you, you're not allowed
You're uninvited
Faye held onto him like she was trying to get inside of him. He heard her whisper his name, the way some people whisper a prayer to God when they were desperate for something.
An unfortunate slight
He wanted to push her away and laugh at her, all so that she could hate him. But he couldn't. He stroked her hair, brushed his lips against her temple. All while trying to keep his breath steady.
Must be strangely exciting
To watch the stoic squirm
He was the calm, breezy one who didn't give a damn. Or, that was what he was supposed to be. But right now, he couldn't help himself. The hole that Julia's passing had left in him needed mending. He just needed to fill it. Even just a little.
Must be somewhat heartening
To watch shepherd need shepherd
They were the same. Both strong, both had their pasts as their weaknesses. But they stood alone well. They knew how to live by themselves, relying only on their pure instinct. However, the burden they carried had gotten too heavy for them to carry it themselves.
But Faye was not supposed to be the one to help him.
But you you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
She was not supposed to be the one he was holding. The thought made him sick. He wished himself dead.
"I can feel your mind. It's going so fast," she whispered, looking up to face him. His face was serious, but blank. It was always like this. Faye searched his face, willing him to reveal himself.
Like any uncharted territory
I must seem greatly intriguing
She looked at him as if he were answer, he realized. Like he was the key to whatever it was she needed opened. Or locked. If she only knew.
"It's her," she said, "you're thinking of her, aren't you?"
It was too much to bear. Spike looked away.
"It hurts, I know," she said softly, "I know it hurts. But-"
"Faye, please don't."
You speak of my love like
You have experienced love like mine before
No one could know what he felt. No one could know how it possibly felt to hold onto the one thing you cherish, the only one you deemed sacred, and have her die in your arms. Especially not Faye. She didn't know anything.
But he still wanted her there, next to him. And that was what made him pull away.
But this is not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
She was making him feel. Making him wake up.
"We need to rethink this. I don't see how this is good for either of us, Faye."
He fought to keep his voice steady, his tone collected. He didn't like the look in here eyes. It was as if she knew why he was acting this way.
"Oh, Spike-"
"Belonging isn't that important."
He wanted to take his own fist and smash it into his face. Even if it were for a short time, he had led her to believe that there was something between them. Regardless of the promise they had made, the knowledge that it would only be temporary. But even that was too much.
I don't think you unworthy
I need a moment to deliberate
"This happened too quickly."
And then her green eyes dimmed.