An Ode to Maybe
By Seabreeze
AN: Based loosely on the song "An Ode to Maybe" by Third Eye Blind. The second companion part to "Dependent" only this time from Miroku's POV. As a warning I can't spell most Japanese terms and will try to avoid them at all costs, and I haven't seen past episode 36, other than the few I download. Viz is getting behind a little, I say. Also, when I had my friends read this story, they weren't happy with the ending. I think you have to look at it from a couple different angles to get the gist.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, setting, or music. Or else I would have so much money I wouldn't write fanfictions, because well yeah. I'd be creating.
~*~*~
Sango hadn't thought he was awake when she snuck off, but he was. He lay quietly, eyes closed and breathing soft and regular as she got up and crept quietly over him, to the door, and out. Through the wide opening of the wooden sliding door, he watched as she sat down by the spring and rolled her leggings up to her knees, hitching her skirts as well. Miroku watched curiously as Sango stepped lightly into the shallow creek, laughing softly and wading further and further.
At this point, Kirara awoke and hurried out to join her. The little cat demon sat on the bank and mewed, and Sango looked back at her. Miroku didn't hide his face, because he knew the shadows hid anything as detailed as that. He heard her speaking softly to the cat:
"Don't worry, Kirara. I'll come back in, soon enough." She grinned to herself and turned around, wading even further than before. By now she was up to her thighs, and she let her skirts drop and soak in the cool water. Miroku raised an eyebrow. It would take all night for those things to dry, but at the moment she didn't seem to mind. For the first time ever, Sango looked thoroughly relaxed and carefree. She bent and cupped her hands in the water, bringing them up dripping near her chest. She gazed into the small pool in her hands.
The carefree Sango was gone in that instant, and her face became solemn. It wasn't long until her silent tears joined the image of her face in the water, and she dropped it and pressed her wet hands to her face. She began shaking with silent sobs. Sango wandered blindly back to the bank, where Kirara met her and anxiously leapt into her arms. She hugged the cat demon fiercely and cried into her fur. Sango fell to her knees and stayed that way.
Miroku contemplated on whether to comfort her or not. It wasn't right to spy, but it also wasn't right to leave her crying like she was. The fact that it was her crying, and not someone else, held him back as well. If it had been Kagome or anyone else, he wouldn't have hesitated.
'Why?' he wondered. 'Why is Sango any different from any other girl?'
That caused for even more contemplation. Sango was different from other girls- very different. Sango was quiet and strong, and she fought as well- if not better- than he did. Sango's past was tragic, and she never flirted like other girls. He guessed this was why it was easier for him to be friends with Sango. Besides the fact that she had a female body (which he knew all too well.), she didn't quite act like a female- at least not one he was interested in. That explained why he hadn't asked her to bear his child yet. He could relate to her having a tragic past, though it was his future that was in grave danger of being tragic.
Maybe, he thought, it was that he saw her differently, and not that she was different.
Miroku knew that Sango cared deeply for him. He knew when she worried about him, when she got angry when he asked other females to bear his child. He knew, however reluctantly, that Sango loved him. His initial reaction upon realizing this was to rebel. He could not love her back for two reasons: first of all, there were too many other good-looking women out there; and secondly, to love Miroku was to be doomed to pain, and he knew Sango had had enough of that in her life already, just at 16. He fought her love by groping, thinking all the time; 'Sango, don't be pathetic, loving me will not help you at all!'
And so he couldn't love her, not even if he wanted to. He couldn't love her if he cared for her. But that was the hard part.
And at the same time, did he even want to love her? All he wanted was to find a nice looking female to have some fun with and bear his child. Tops. He was sorry that it hurt her to see him with other women, but it would hurt far less than if he allowed them to be in love. "Love" was not, and could not, be part of the package.
But, after all, Miroku did care for Sango. She was not only his traveling companion, but a fellow warrior, member of the group out to kill Naraku, and a friend. Combining everything made the whole situation very difficult. If she didn't love him and he wasn't confused about whether he wanted to/didn't want to/could/could not love her, things would be fine.
And he guessed that was how life went. Miroku rose and quietly stepped out of the hut into the moist grass, padding over to wear Sango knelt. He sat next to her, closed his eyes, and said nothing.
Sango spooked slightly, having not known he was even awake, let alone sitting next to her.
"H-houshi-sama." she gasped, trying to control her tears and the reddening of her face all at once. ".I didn't mean to wake you." she trailed off. "I was already awake." He responded matter-of-factly.
"Oh," Sango said softly.
Neither of them said anything from that point on. It was odd, sitting silently together like that, but eventually they both fell asleep. When Miroku woke up early that morning, before the sun even had time to warm the grass, he found that he was holding her hand. For a minute he thought about it, rubbing the soft skin, until he began to pull it back. No sense in giving the poor girl false hope.
But she tightened her grip on him pleadingly. Miroku smiled, watching her sleeping face frown.
He guessed a little hope never hurt anyone.
By Seabreeze
AN: Based loosely on the song "An Ode to Maybe" by Third Eye Blind. The second companion part to "Dependent" only this time from Miroku's POV. As a warning I can't spell most Japanese terms and will try to avoid them at all costs, and I haven't seen past episode 36, other than the few I download. Viz is getting behind a little, I say. Also, when I had my friends read this story, they weren't happy with the ending. I think you have to look at it from a couple different angles to get the gist.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, setting, or music. Or else I would have so much money I wouldn't write fanfictions, because well yeah. I'd be creating.
~*~*~
Sango hadn't thought he was awake when she snuck off, but he was. He lay quietly, eyes closed and breathing soft and regular as she got up and crept quietly over him, to the door, and out. Through the wide opening of the wooden sliding door, he watched as she sat down by the spring and rolled her leggings up to her knees, hitching her skirts as well. Miroku watched curiously as Sango stepped lightly into the shallow creek, laughing softly and wading further and further.
At this point, Kirara awoke and hurried out to join her. The little cat demon sat on the bank and mewed, and Sango looked back at her. Miroku didn't hide his face, because he knew the shadows hid anything as detailed as that. He heard her speaking softly to the cat:
"Don't worry, Kirara. I'll come back in, soon enough." She grinned to herself and turned around, wading even further than before. By now she was up to her thighs, and she let her skirts drop and soak in the cool water. Miroku raised an eyebrow. It would take all night for those things to dry, but at the moment she didn't seem to mind. For the first time ever, Sango looked thoroughly relaxed and carefree. She bent and cupped her hands in the water, bringing them up dripping near her chest. She gazed into the small pool in her hands.
The carefree Sango was gone in that instant, and her face became solemn. It wasn't long until her silent tears joined the image of her face in the water, and she dropped it and pressed her wet hands to her face. She began shaking with silent sobs. Sango wandered blindly back to the bank, where Kirara met her and anxiously leapt into her arms. She hugged the cat demon fiercely and cried into her fur. Sango fell to her knees and stayed that way.
Miroku contemplated on whether to comfort her or not. It wasn't right to spy, but it also wasn't right to leave her crying like she was. The fact that it was her crying, and not someone else, held him back as well. If it had been Kagome or anyone else, he wouldn't have hesitated.
'Why?' he wondered. 'Why is Sango any different from any other girl?'
That caused for even more contemplation. Sango was different from other girls- very different. Sango was quiet and strong, and she fought as well- if not better- than he did. Sango's past was tragic, and she never flirted like other girls. He guessed this was why it was easier for him to be friends with Sango. Besides the fact that she had a female body (which he knew all too well.), she didn't quite act like a female- at least not one he was interested in. That explained why he hadn't asked her to bear his child yet. He could relate to her having a tragic past, though it was his future that was in grave danger of being tragic.
Maybe, he thought, it was that he saw her differently, and not that she was different.
Miroku knew that Sango cared deeply for him. He knew when she worried about him, when she got angry when he asked other females to bear his child. He knew, however reluctantly, that Sango loved him. His initial reaction upon realizing this was to rebel. He could not love her back for two reasons: first of all, there were too many other good-looking women out there; and secondly, to love Miroku was to be doomed to pain, and he knew Sango had had enough of that in her life already, just at 16. He fought her love by groping, thinking all the time; 'Sango, don't be pathetic, loving me will not help you at all!'
And so he couldn't love her, not even if he wanted to. He couldn't love her if he cared for her. But that was the hard part.
And at the same time, did he even want to love her? All he wanted was to find a nice looking female to have some fun with and bear his child. Tops. He was sorry that it hurt her to see him with other women, but it would hurt far less than if he allowed them to be in love. "Love" was not, and could not, be part of the package.
But, after all, Miroku did care for Sango. She was not only his traveling companion, but a fellow warrior, member of the group out to kill Naraku, and a friend. Combining everything made the whole situation very difficult. If she didn't love him and he wasn't confused about whether he wanted to/didn't want to/could/could not love her, things would be fine.
And he guessed that was how life went. Miroku rose and quietly stepped out of the hut into the moist grass, padding over to wear Sango knelt. He sat next to her, closed his eyes, and said nothing.
Sango spooked slightly, having not known he was even awake, let alone sitting next to her.
"H-houshi-sama." she gasped, trying to control her tears and the reddening of her face all at once. ".I didn't mean to wake you." she trailed off. "I was already awake." He responded matter-of-factly.
"Oh," Sango said softly.
Neither of them said anything from that point on. It was odd, sitting silently together like that, but eventually they both fell asleep. When Miroku woke up early that morning, before the sun even had time to warm the grass, he found that he was holding her hand. For a minute he thought about it, rubbing the soft skin, until he began to pull it back. No sense in giving the poor girl false hope.
But she tightened her grip on him pleadingly. Miroku smiled, watching her sleeping face frown.
He guessed a little hope never hurt anyone.