Authors Note: The only reason I didn't write about Ken's first time in the digi-world is cause I have no idea what happened with him Wormmon and Ryo the digimon King. Something about Millenniumon.
Legal Disclaimer: If I owed the show believe me all that owikawa trash would never have seen the light of day. Not to mention it would be rated NC-17. The song 'Damaged" is sung by TLC. Go buy all their albums right now Them and Norah Jones. Go Go . Right after this fic.
Dedication: To Melissa Ford without whom none of this would be possible and Allekto for being the first to read this.
Fate Isn't A River Daisuke
by: Yamato Magna
Chapter Ten: Drops Of Destiny
I know I'm kinda strange to you sometimes
don't always say what's on my mind
you know that I've been hurt by some guy
but I don't wanna mess up this time
My name is Ken Ichijouji.
Drip. Drip.
I am, no, I created the Digimon Emperor. I was manipulated by fate. It twisted me into the monster I am today. Sweeping me along it's current I was barely conscious of what was becoming and now it is too late. The Kaizer is the one on the outside now and I am the one trapped within.
Drip. Drip.
It all started when my older brother Osamu died. He left me to carry on his burden of being twice the Digi-Destined am. It was my destiny to become the digidestined of kindness, it was his to become the Kaizer. Now here I am with only my memories to keep me warm inside the steel cage of my own creation, of my own mind.
Drip.
"This is mine now. Nobody can ever take this away from me now."
Drip.
Oh how I wish someone could take this away from me. I wish he could come and take it all from me. Him, no, not Osamu. He s dead. I would not ask him to become the Kaizer so I may be free. There exists only one who can stop this Kaizer. Motomiya Daisuke.
Drip.
The Kaizer walked coolly down the street, his portrait of a genius cut to the t. None would ever suspect me, a mild mannered polite, everyday genius, of being one of the most sick and twisted beings in existence. He had everything he wanted. He practically had the digital world under his thumb and except for a few rebel rookies he would have the whole world conquered by next week. His pans for control spires were neatly interrupted when a sulking redhead caroused down the side walk.
Drip.
That is when it happened. For the first time in so long I was free. Free to do whatever I chose. It was easy for me to choose him.
Drip.
Ken looked across the street at the huffing redhead. He had stopped against a signpost to catch his breath. This was his chance. Cautiously crossed the overpass and took a place behind the boy in khaki's. "Are you in a hurry?" Ken spoke in a cool and clear voice all his own.
The other boy whipped around quickly. "Yeah what's it to you." He said in an arrogant tone of voice. Then his demeanor softened slightly "I'm sorry I guess that was kinda rude." He said brushing his hand through his red hair.
To Ken everything about him screamed perfection. His eyes, his skin, his hair. Ken was almost overwhelmed. It had been so long since he had ever felt anything himself. "So why are you in such a rush?" He asked quietly keeping his eyes downcast.
And I really really really care
and I really really really want you
and I think I'm kinda scared
cause I don't wanna lose you
"I'm late again." He sighed. They were probably gonna kick him out this time. This was his fifth late.
Ken looked down at his stylish watch. The Kaizer had chosen it. It read 4:30 pm. "Late for what?" He asked again his inquisitive side getting the better of him.
"For my journalism class." The redhead mumbled.
"What's that?" He asked unable to hear the others low whisper.
"My journalism class." He mumbled again unable to look the other in the eyes.
"What?" Ken said a bit louder.
"My journalism class!" Daisuke practically screamed. Some people passing by began to turn their heads as the turned the street.
Ken stared back dumbfounded almost to laughter. "Journalism class." He laughed unable to hold it back.
"You see everyone laughs when tell them that." He muttered turning around and clenching his fists.
"No it's not that." Ken couldn't believe he had already hurt the others felling. He really didn't mean to. "I don't think it's funny it's just. I thought it was funny how you seem to be keeping it a secret." He laughed a bit ore then stopped as he saw the look on the other boys face harden.
"Yeah I guess you're right Daisuke sad, laughing along with the other boy. "It is pretty silly." He started down at the ground. 'It still hurt though." He mock pouted.
If you're really really really there
then maybe you can hang through
I hope you understand
it's nothing to you
"Sorry." He said solemnly unable to tell the difference between his real and false emotions.
"Hey, don't worry about it." He said putting his arm around the other boys shoulder. "So now that you know one of my deep dark shameful secrets, it's time for me to know some of yours." He smirked as the blush on Ken's cheeks heightened.
"A secret about me." Ken stuttered.
My hearts at a low
I'm so much to manage
I think you should know
that I've been damaged
There would be no harm in telling this boy. Something about him ad drawn Ken to him. He knew he could trust him and yet. "I'm a cat person." Ken smiled. As if on cue a kitten stuck it's head out from a new by dumpster. Ken meowed and the kitten rushed into his open arms. "There there kitty." He said rubbing noses with the adorable ball of marmalade in his hands.
"Wow you really are a cat person." Daisuke commented taking a step closer to Ken and the kitten.
"Here you take her. Cats are really very gentle once you get to know them…just like me." He whispered as Daisuke took the cat from his arms.
"Well maybe gentle isn't quite the right word." Daisuke said as the cat finished his business on Daisuke's shirt and jumped beside Ken's legs purring, only to be picked up again by his waiting arms. "Oh great now I'm even more tardy then I was before." He said beginning to turn around and run.
"You really ought to learn to be more like this little one" Ken said referring to the kitten as he continued to pet it's fur.
"I'm already as cute as can be, that cat's no competition. Besides it'll only be cute for another seven years whereas I'll get sixty easy." He smirked at the chuckling bluenette.
"No." Ken chuckled. "I mean you're demeanor, you need to relax and not sweat the small stuff. You need to stop and smell the roses." Ken said smiling.
This did not go unnoticed by the redhead. He wasn't smirking or giggling, he was smiling,. Even though he had ever met the other before he knew that this was something rare. "Wow, you've got a great smile. You should do that more often." Ken blushed and put the kitten down, only to have it wrap around his legs. "I have to go." Daisuke blushed as he began to walk slowly away from the other boy.
"Hey wait I didn't get your name." Ken called out.
"Motomiya, Motomiya Daisuke."
I'm falling in love
there's one disadvantage
I think you should know
that I've been damaged
Drip.
It was over then. The fire of my life had come and gone just like that. I sometimes wonder what would have happened If I had brought him to the digital world. Do you think it would have freed me from the Kaizer's grip. I doubt it. He probably would have used him against me. I guess it's a good thing I never saw him again since then. I never saw him again but the Kaizer.
Drip.
The cold grin of the Emperor returned to his face as he felt something warm around his legs. "Wormmon get away from…" The Kaizer looked down to find a small orange tabby by his feet. The cat took one look at his face and broke into a dead run. She had seen that look on the face of a previous owner. A sharp kick landed her right back in the dumpster from which she had crawled out of. "Nobody touches me without my permission." He said going to check his reflection in the mirror of a nearby glass display case. "Motomiya Daisuke." He sneered. "You're mine."
I might look through you're stuff
for what I don't want to find
or I might just set you up
to see if you're all mine
I'm a little paranoid
for what I've been through
you don't know what you got yourself into
Drip.
That was so long ago it seems. Of course trapped within here I have no real perception of time. What is time other then a way to count the superficiality of man inability to conquer mortality. One day I'll say something like that and everyone will just laugh with me. That will be the day I… I'm… free.
Drip. Drip.
It was a warm summer night when me and my brother were out on the balcony. Mama and Papa were asleep after diner and Osamu woke me up to saying that he had something to show me. I hate him so much.
Drip.
"Sometimes I wish… that he would just… disappear."
My hearts at a low
I'm so much to manage
I think you should know
that I've been damaged
Drip.
I was just jealous. I loved him, he was my brother.
Drip.
"Mama Papa where's Sam?"
Drip.
It was my fault I wished for it to happen. It's all my fault. That night on the balcony, he lied to me. He said I was kind and gentle. Wormmon said that too. They were both just telling me what I wanted to hear. Ryo. I can barely remember my first time in the Digi-World. My thoughts keep drifting back to my family, and Sam.
Drip.
"Oh wow, that's huge Sam." Ken said gawking at the soap bubble floating in front of him.
"Don't mention it Ken-chan." He said as he blew another bubble. "Here you try. Just blow like this.' He said blowing into the straw creating another huge bubble. It wavered into the air ad then popped in a matter of seconds.
Drip.
Sam always used to prepare the soapy water ad cut the straws. His bubbles were always so big and beautiful and mine were always so small. It was easy for anyone to see only his and overlook mine. I was so jealous. And then…
Drip.
"Wow Ken. That's great and on you're first try to. It took me a really long time to get the hand of this." The older bluenette said.
"Really." The young Ken asked, unable to believe that something didn't come naturally to his perfect older brother.
"Yeah, really." He said softly. "You put your heart into it and you blow kind and gently. I always blow to hard and mine pop. Don't ever lose that kindness. Ken. Kenny-boy." He laughed as he scooped up his little brother into a big hug.
Drip.
It's too late. I've already lost it. Without it, without him I'm worthless. I've got nothing to offer anyone. But I did once, a long time ago, with Grandma.
Drip. Drip.
Grandma… I miss her. I'm not sure why I was thinking of her but, I am. I remember her stories. The moral. Wait, they're wasn't any moral. Maybe that was what I liked about them. There was never any point. No wonder they sold so well. Easy reading. I'm a little embarrassed to say I liked them but, then again I was only 4.
Drip.
I'm falling in love
there's one disadvantage
I think you should know
that I've been damaged
"Then the kind hearted maiden kneeled down on the blood drench… red grass and prayed to the pheonix and the dragon to be saved from the dark-crested demon. Then the valiant and courageous-"
"Grandmama-chan what does courageous mean?" The large innocent violet eyes peered up at the family member he'd inherited them from. "Courageous? It means you have courage. That means…well it means facing things head on and not backing down." She looked down at Ken. "But most of all it means listening to your heart."
Listening to your heart? I can't wait for my heart to talking to me.
"Then with a swing of his mighty sword the courageous prince decapitat erm… slayed the demon using the powers of kindness and honesty, the pure maiden and the valiant warrior prince rode off into the sunset."
"Grandmama-chan that was wonderful." He hugged her knees tightly. "Do you think a prince will ever come and save me?" Ken asked.
"Don't you mean 'do you think I'll ever get to save a pure maiden?'?"
Ken shook his head no.
"Hmm. Do me a favor okay." Ken nodded, "Don't tell Mama-chan and Papa-chan what we just talked about okay."
Drip.
It was a good thing that she told me that last bit. Otherwise I would have gone right up to my parents saying something stupid just like that. "Hey mama when's my cute hottie boyfriend gonna come save me."
Yeah I can just see all sorts of complications. I remember what happened next though. It was my bedtime and I wanted to sneak out to see Grandma because she had never answered my question.
Drip.
"Grandmama-chan" Ken took a small step out of the room. "Are you out there?" Ken called. Taking in the silence for a moment he stepped forward into the now dimly lit room. "Is anyone out here." Ken stumbled onto the big rocking chair that his grandmother had sat in. "The book." His little eyes lit up as his face change from one of fear to joy and then back to fear again. The book, it was, horrible. Ken opened up to where the red mark was. It wasn't the last page in the book. The pictures. A blue haired maiden in a white dress with a strange rose c hing, it was so scary it looked like it would come out of the book. Quickly he turned to the next page.
This page was just like he had imagined it. A beautiful sunset and the maiden and the samurai are riding off together on a…dragon. It was too weird. All of the other monsters and people were gone along with the black thing. This was supposed to be the happy ending but wait, there were still more pages left.
On the next page, the black thing, it was back, it had a huge hole in it but it still got up. On the next page the warrior and the black thing were fighting again but it looked like the black thing was gonna win. The next one, the warrior. There was red stuff coming out of his hand that he was holding onto his stomach The black thing looked like it was laughing. The third last page, the maiden stood up, a look in her violet eyes. Ken had seen that somewhere before. She was saying something and seemed to be gathering here strength. Ken turned to the final pages.
"What!" He said aloud. The pages were torn out. This wasn't far he had waited so long-at least it seemed so to him- to read this. Sighing he went back to bed as he heard shuffling in his parents room. If he was caught nosing through his Grandmama's stuff he would get in big trouble. He would remember to ask Grandmama in the morning. Ken yawned. In the morning… right after I get some sleep.
And I really really really want you
and I think I'm kind of scared
cause I don't want to lose you
Drip.
It was funny. The very next day, was the day I first went to the digital world. The day I got my digi-vice. The day this all started.
Drip. Drip.
It's all right though. I know how the story must end. The maiden takes all her strength and with her last ounce of energy… she's killed by the demon. Then on the last page he throws her corpse on top of his and they rot. Happily ever after. I sure hope Daisuke isn't my prince. Daisuke my Daisuke. My courageous warrior, I'm waiting for you. I'm praying for you to come, and save me from my watery caged nightmare.
As Ken continued to drift through his mind, a small prayer echoed through it's recesses. Never to be heard by waking ears.