I'm Coming Back to You

Chapter 8- Emotions

Disclaimer: The video game (created for the entertainment console Playstation) Final Fantasy IX does not, in any shape or form, belong to the inexperienced (and crazy) author Rainbow Stardust. Any and all content of the game, including characters, locations, names, concepts, etc is legal property of Square. The plot of this story, as well as the title and additional characters are mine, however I realize that it may not be orginally created by me, as I don't feel like being original today. *glares at lawyers standing by* There? Is that legal enough for you?

AN: Where I last left you, Zeithi had crossed the line and KISSED our beloved hero Quina—er, Zidane. (If it was up to me, I'd say Quina was a female. S/he could be a distant cousin to Brahne or something, you never know.) Eeek! We also learned that some Treno nobles have been hitting on Garnet. =0P I just LOVE conspiracies. Well, I mean, complicated plots. Anyway, just as a warning: get prepared for major MUSH! All that great stuff. I mean, the chapter title practically screams it—"EMOTIONS!" OK. Read now.

Key: _…_ emphasize (italicize)

       /…/ thoughts

       "…" words

       *…* action

     What should I do? Maybe I could just sleep out here. It's safer than in the trees—or not? There is no cover out here, and there's cover in the trees, but also cover for the monsters I could possibly meet up with. Oh, well, it wouldn't matter. I don't have my Ultima Weapon to fight with, either way. I left it on my bed back at Zeithi's house. Why can't I just go back there and get it? Oh, yeah. Because she kissed me. And she's probably so embarrassed she locked me out of her house. Just great, for someone who has forgotten everything he has ever known about himself except for a few things here and there.

     Well, I guess there's only one way I'm gonna find out if she locked me out or not.

     Here goes nothing. _Knock Knock._ "Hello, umm Zeithi? I know you probably don't want to talk to me, but I really need to get my weapon. I can't survive out here without it…but if you won't give it to me then I'll—"

     The door swung open to reveal her clear and well-composed face, and her extended arm with the Ultima Weapon. "You'll?"

     "I'll…thank you," I replied, taking the item. Then, bowing with gratitude, I turned to leave.

     "Where ya goin'?"

     I blinked at her. "Away."

     She looked hurt. "Away from me? Well, I suppose. Considering you don't like me."

     "Who said that I don't like you? I thought it was you who didn't like me."

     She snorted. "If I didn't like you, would I have kissed you?" It surprised me that she addressed the fact fearlessly. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to say, but she beat me to it. "Don't you think it's cold out here? You'd better come in before you get sick all over again."

     "Uh, sure." I wasn't completely sure what to expect next, but I did need a place to stay. If Zeithi wanted me to leave in the morning, then I would. I warily eyed her smile and stepped into the cottage. There was something odd about how she smiled. As if it were—forced, maybe? It was, for one thing, overly cheerful. Oh, well. These things were better thought out with a clear head, which I didn't have at the moment. A yawn caught me off guard. "Thanks. And goodnight," I told her as I headed for my room.

     "Goodnight," I heard her whisper, then the quiet click of her door shutting behind her.

                                                            -0-0-0-0-0-

     When I found her, she was sitting on the turf just outside the house, gazing at the rising sun, deep in thought. I had resolved to keep my weapon with me at all times, in case I was turned out of the cottage without prior notice again. Stealthily, I crept up behind her, then all of a sudden yelled, "BOO!"

     Zeithi jumped a foot in the air at least, and when she came back down she glared at me with such ferocity I winced. Then the corners of her mouth turned up and she laughed, once more, with the ringing bells I had learned to appreciate. "Good morning. Did you have a good rest?"

     "Yeah," I lied. In reality, I had slept fitfully that night, ambushed by more dreams. That girl kept appearing to me, seeming depressed and lonely. I had a strange feeling every time I saw her. Not even just _one_ feeling, but many. And what was extraordinary was that I couldn't put a finger on a single one of them.

     Zeithi wasn't fooled. "I could hear you through the wall. Banging and clanging a riot in there. Wrestling some dragons? Or what?"

     "Nothing," I assured her. But she wouldn't be dismissed. So I tried to explain that I just had another memory-related dream and that it was nothing to worry about.

     "What was your dream about?" she asked.

     I flinched inwardly. I was hoping she didn't ask that. I really didn't want to tell her about the "other" girl. Not that Zeithi and I had anything between us besides a quick kiss, and I wasn't even sure what connection I had with the pretty girl. But I knew Zeithi would ask what the girl I saw looked like, and avoiding the term, "good-looking" would be too difficult. There was another part of my dream, though, and I aimed to exclude everything else. "A song," I replied.

     She hadn't been ready for that response. "A _song_?"

     "Yeah."

     "How'd it go?"

     I frowned doubtfully. Perhaps it was an instinct, or an inner emotion, that told me that the song was something special, like a secret, or something that kept two people together. Like a love song—which I figured it was. Maybe it wouldn't hurt if I sang a part of it to Zeithi. "Well, it went like this:

A voice from the past joining yours and mine

Adding up the layers of harmony

And so it goes, on and on

Melodies of life-to the sky beyond the flying birds

Forever and beyond.

So far and away, see the bird as it flies by

Gliding through the shadows of the clouds up in the sky

I've laid my memories and dreams upon those wings

Leave them now and see what tomorrow brings."

     She looked at me expectantly for more, but, nervously, I shook my head. "I can't remember."

     Deception never seemed to get by Zeithi, but she let me off the hook this time, commending that the song was a very nice one. "It is nice, really. I wonder who thought it up? I heard something like it around here. Just a small melody, when I went to visit the ruins. But, that's something else. So—"

     I let out a little yelp when she snuggled next to me and put her arm around me. "Zeithi, what are you doing?!"

     "I just thought you'd enjoy a moment with me."

     "With you, or _up on you_?"

     She winced visibly, pulling away to look up at me. "Zidane, you don't understand. All this time, I've felt something special about you. When I found you, I thought you were just some lost traveler stupid enough to get close to the Iifa Tree. But there's something else about you. An energy. And I enjoy being with you. It's like you were brought to me by fate. And I just want to say…I love you."

     _I love you?_ Of all things, she had to say that to me. What was I supposed to say in reply to that? I had a small affection for her, but more in a way of friends. I knew for a fact I didn't love Zeithi the way she loved me. "Zeithi, I…"

     "Yes?" She held her breath. I sighed at her hopeful expression.

     "Zeithi, I don't mean to hurt you or anything, but I can't say the same thing back to you." Her lip began to tremble. Still, I continued. "I appreciate you, and what you've done for me. I have to admit, I wouldn't be standing right here like I am right now without you. And that means I'm forever in your debt. But I don't want to pay you back…like this."

     I saw, with remorse, that she was fighting tears. "Why can't you just say you love me? Stay here with me and be happy? I'm happy with you. Happy like I could never imagine."

     "I want you to be happy, but I can't stay here." I tried to be gentle. "I still have to find out who I am. I have this strong feeling that someone is waiting for me. That he or she needs me more than anything. And for some reason…I need them more than anything."

     She sniffed. "So…there was someone else before? In your past?"

     I scratched the back of my neck. "I'm not sure, OK? I'm going through stuff here."

     "Does this mean you're going to go see the—that person, and the mage?"

     "Yeah, I have to. They know something about me." Tears began to spill from her cheeks. She began to sob vioently, but still wouldn't let go of me. In the mid-morning light we sat, with her clinging onto me like I was her last and only hope for survival. I refrained from anything besides patting her head and waiting for her wails to subside.

     Presently, Zeithi quieted. Without a word, she stood up and went inside the house. I sat there, watching the door, wondering what I should do next. Thankfully, I had my weapon, but I didn't want to just leave without saying goodbye. /It'd be best, just to say goodbye now. I won't be able to leave if I waited longer./

     Rising to my feet, I slowly trudged to the door and lifted my fist tentatively to knock. Was this the right thing to do? Yes.

     Before I could strike the hard wood, the door swung open. Zeithi, her face still tear-streaked and red, was smiling. It wasn't fake—I could see it in her eyes. They were sparkling like she was truly happy. "Zidane…you're right. We don't belong together."

     What was wrong with this girl? First she wants to get with me, then not anymore? "How do you know this?"

     "The song," she replied. "I was thinking about it, when I was crying. How you sang it. Did you notice? I guess not. Even just a verse—you were getting really into it. You shoulda heard your voice. It was filled with…loneliness. Longing. I don't know. Some emotion I can't describe." I looked at her strangely. Had I really? I didn't just memorize it—after the first few words, they had just flowed out of me. I had let them come, and then stopped it. And I had thought nothing of it. Zeithi continued: "I knew it then—it was a secret between you and someone else. The song was some kind of connection. Maybe something like a friendship necklace or bracelet, but stronger and lasting. I-I knew I loved you…and when I heard you sing like that, I was afraid I was going to lose you. So I rushed into everything and blurted out that I loved you. But that was a big mistake, wasn't it?"

     "Zeithi, please don't feel badly."

     "I'm glad I've gotten it off my back, though. It's been haunting me since the evening I found you. Odd, isn't it? I never understood love."

     A sudden thought occurred to me. "You've fallen in love before, haven't you?"

     She fell silent and hung her head. I frowned. "So that's it, isn't it? You were trying to find someone or something to fill that void in your heart. Please understand that I won't ever be able to do that, no matter how much I am like your old…whatever."

     "Fiancé."

     "Huh?"

     "Fiancé," she croaked.

     "What happened to him?"

     She shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it."

     "Well, whatever happened, no one, even me, can replace him. There will always be a special place in your heart for him." She looked up at me, eyes glistening and confused. "I know this," I told her, "because there is someone whom I have reserved a space in my heart for, and I have yet to find her." That was the final conclusion I had drawn with the little information I had collected, and I was sticking with it until otherwise.

     "You must go to them, then!" she leaped from the door and grabbed a wrapped bundle, then thrust it eagerly into my arms. "I packed it for you. The trip isn't far to the village of black mages, but it's easy to get lost."

     "You've been there before?" my eyes went wide.

     "No," she shook her head. "But I know where it is. You might walk right past it, though. Just hang around the area I tell you to, and if you see a black mage, _follow it_. It'll lead you right to it!" Her face had considerably dried, and I scanned her carefully for any hint of a lack of authenticity—but she was genuine without a doubt.

     "Thank you so much," I bowed with a flourish and a great sweep, and she curtseyed. Then I smiled, turned, and began to walk in the direction her finger pointed.

     I never looked back.

AN: Arrgh does Zidane seem a little OOC? I know he's not himself anyway, but something's wrong with the way I'm potraying him! . I'll figure it out sooner or later. I'm my worst critic, unless some mean ole' flamer dances up and puts up a review that I won't be able to STAND! So far, there are nice ones. ^.^ I need more encouragement than you think, don't worry. Short AN this time—long chapter. Not that it matters. Ja ne, and reviews, onegai-shimasu?