AN: This story I started at 3 in the morning when I couldn't sleep and I was attacked by an evil plot bunny so please forgive me if it sounds a little strange. I suppose the fact that I had half a case of Pepsi and that I tricked my Mom into bribing me that "If you get above 95% on your Social Studies final then you get the Order of the Phoenix and The Two Towers DVD when it comes out." I got 91% so after much crying and complaining that "the whole thing was rigged and Mr. Baer somehow knew and you're all out to get me! Servants of the Evil Happy Clown!" I am settling for the Order of the Phoenix and waiting for TTT until my B-day in October. Meh. Good enough. See she never thought I would pass because I never studied. Stupid Mom I showed her. AnYwAyS! Back to the Evil Plot bunny.
~ Thoughts are in the squiggly thingies ~
(Messages from a higher power are in brackets)
Things written on Jade's computer are in Italics.
Things happening in Hogwarts during James' time are in Bold.
Things happening in Jade's house are in normal font.
Prologue: There are Wizards in my Living Room!
It was a dark and stormy night. Full Moon was due in three days. All of the planning had been done. Remus was finally sleeping peacefully. Since his friends James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew had become Animagus he had finally realized that he had true friends who would do anything for him. Not that Remus was going to sleep. The night was dark, stormy, and down right creepy; the perfect night for Marauding.
~ Blarg! ~ Jade thought. ~ Writer's Block! Why now? I'm so bloody bored. NEED MORE COFFEE! ~ She grumbled as she got up from the computer in her living room and went to get more coffee. Her Mom would kill her. She was out of bed at 3 in the morning, on the computer, vibrating from excess coffee intake. Jade's step dad wouldn't kill her until the next morning when he realized that she had eaten all of his chocolate brownies too. Jade was determined to write as much fanfiction, and if possible, her legal will before she was discovered. ~ MMMMM COFFEE!! ~ She sat back down and stared at the screen blankly. ~ Now what? ~
**** * ****
James stared out the window. ~SOOOOOOO bored! ~ The night was dark and stormy. The perfect time to go marauding. But Sirius was asleep. Good luck waking him up. Peter was in the hospital suffering another injury from another freak Potions accident. James had no idea where Remus was. ~ Likely fallen asleep in the library again. Crazy Bookworm. ~ What was the fearless leader of the infamous Marauders going to do now. ~ Ummm go to bed? ~ (NO you stupid prat! Think!) ~ Er – find Remus? ~ (That's better) Upon hearing the message from the higher power James went to find Remus.
Sure enough Remus WAS asleep in the library. James was a nice polite boy and wasn't going to wake his friend so he turned to leave. (NO! You're just afraid he'll eat you for waking him up) James shook his head. He was a good boy, a polite boy. He was going to leave. ~ He'd probably eat me if I did anyway . . . ~ (AHA! I knew it! ChIcKeN!) James growled and shook his head at the ceiling. (Fine! Fine! No need to get mad at me! You don't have to wake him yet! Just yoink the book he's using a pillow from underneath his head!) ~ Yoink? Such a strange word! WAIT! That would wake him! ~ James pulled the book out from underneath Remus' head anyway. Remus' head landed on the table with an audible thud. ~ Ouch ~ (Ouch) ~ He must have really been studying ~ (No I drugged him) ~ WHAT?! ~ (You have to read that book) "Why?" James wondered aloud. (Because there is some really cool stuff in there.) James flipped through the book. "It's blank," James muttered. (Not on page 601. "Why isn't there anything on the other pages. (Because I was too lazy to put anything else in the book.) "Oh," James muttered as he flipped to page 601. "Hey cool it's a spell!" (*Looks smug*) "Can voices look?"
"Apparently,"
"Remus you're awake!" James exclaimed.
"No S*** Sherlock," Remus muttered.
"Tut, tut. Such language!"
"Sirius! You're here!" James and Remus exclaimed. "How?" (Ahem! Isn't it obvious? I brought him!"
All three boys wondered the same thing. ~ Why? ~ (Because) ~ Because why? ~ (Just use the spell already) The boys shrugged and all began chanting the rather complicated spell.
**** * ****
Jade was still staring blankly at the screen. ~ I'm bored.~ (So what else is new?) Jade's eyes got really big. ~ The little voices in my head are back! The nice man in the lab coat said the pills would make them go away. Ah f*** it. Are you Bob? ~ (No) ~ Chi-Chi? ~ (No) ~Mortimer? ~ (No) ~ Damn! I liked him! ~ (SILENCE FOOLISH MORTAL!) ~ Meep! ~ (I am sending along a little present to cure you of your boredome!) "YAY!" Jade cried in elation, then in a quieter voice "S*** I'm going to wake my parents if I don't quiet down." (HEH HEH Just you wait!) ~ I don't like the sound of that. ~
Suddenly there was a loud thump as three exceptionally good liooking boys landed on her living room floor. ~ Meep! ~ (HAPPY BIRTHDAY!) "It's not my birthday until October," Jade said, surprised. (OH well then Merry Christmas!) ~ Jesus Christ your f***ed up! ~ (Meh.) Suddenly the hunky boys got up and pointed their wands at Jade. ~ I'm dead. ~
"Don't move." The one with the light brown hair and the stormy grey eyes said. Jade's eye twitched and she raised her hands.
"She doesn't seem that sane does she? Is she a Muggle?" The one with the NEAT black hair and the peircing blue eyes said to the one with the messy black hair. The one with the messy black hair nodded and looked at Jade with sympathy, ~ Holy s***! He looks like . . . ~
"HARRY POTTER! Oh s*** my parents!" (Don't worry I drugged them. They won't wake up until I want them too. And that's not Harry Potter. See no scar.)
"No I'm James. Who's Harry?" James asked. (You really don't want to know. It will mess with your head.) "And being talked to by a voice of a higher power isn't?" (Good point)
"You can hear it too? It's not just another little voice in my head because I missed my dose of pills and I OD'ed on caffiene?" Jade asked. The boys exchanged looks. She's mental looks. (No she's not. She's just a Muggle teenage girl.) Again, the boys exchanged looks. Oh looks. "Anyway. Since you're James then you must be Remus and Sirius. ~
The boys nodded. "How did you know?" Remus asked. Jade ran down the hall and came back with a stack of books.
"Oh no! Not books!" Sirius cried in alarm. Jade shot him an annoyed look and pointed to the title of the first one and the boys all leaned over to read the cover. ]
"Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone?" James pulled the first one away and read the other titles. "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets? Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire? Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix? Boy this kid's got an eventful life. Who is he anyway?" (Your son James. In the future.)
"Her I read about the Chamber of Secrets in a book somewhere," Said Remus. "Wasn't there supposed to be a monster or something in there?"
"There was. A Basilisk." Jade said, hissing slightly on the S's in Basilisk.
"How is it that a Muggle knows things about Hogwarts that the Marauder's don't" Sirius asked. Jade swatted him over the head. (Stop flirting) Jade moved away from Sirius so fast she burned a hole in the carpet. (Woah!)
"So Jade. Now since these books are about a future Potter then these books are about the future." Said Sirius. (Very good Padfoot) Jade snickered. "What is the future like?" (You don't want to know that.)
"Well James and Lily get murdered. Remus can't find a damn job. And you spend twelve years in Azkaban for a crime you didn't commit."
.::CRICKET CRICKET::.
(*Snicker*)
.::CRICKET CRICKET::.
"WHAT?!"
AN: I knew it was going to be weird. Meh. Review and tell me if I should continue.