Chapter 2…Cats, Children, and Curtains
*Elizabeth is petting a cat*
Jack: I don't like cats.
Elizabeth: Why?
Jack: They smell.
Will: No they don't.
Jack: Yes they do. Especially when they've just made a mess on your boat.
Elizabeth: Jack, honestly, that's nonsense.
Jack: Oh really. Why do you think I don't have a cat? Cause they always mess on my ship. I don't like it. They're nothing but trouble. And they do really annoying things. Can't stand the things…yuck.
Will: Annoying things, like what?
Jack: Well, they always land on their feet.
Will: How is that annoying?
Jack: Well, when you're trying to throw them off your boat, they always land on the plank, and you can NEVER get rid of them!
Elizabeth: JACK! Why would you ever throw a cat off your ship?
Jack: Well luv, it's quite simple. Because they mess on my ship!
Elizabeth: Well, they're no worse than children, and you have them on your ship all the time.
Jack: Yes, but that doesn't mean I like children. Actually, they are very stupid, and they always ask a never ending stream of questions. (jack mocks a childs voice) "Why do birds fly" "Why does a boat need sails?" "When is dinner?" I can't stand them.
Elizabeth: Well I hope to have kids someday.
Will: Me too. I want 2 kids.
Elizabeth: Me too Will.
Jack: I think I'm going to be sick. Well don't ever ask me to baby-sit.
Elizabeth: Don't worry.
Jack: Anyways, cats and Children are always the same, both get into similar trouble. Kids they climb on furniture, cats they climb on curtains. Speaking of curtains…
Will: Oh god.
Jack: Why do they always look so girly? If I was to ever buy some of the curtains they have out there for sale…well actually let me re-phrase that, If I was to ever steal any of the curtains they have out there, I think I'd need to drink an entire ocean of rum.
Elizabeth: How are they girly? They just have flowers and pretty things on them.
Jack: Precisely. They're bloody ugly. Whoever came up with some of those designs should be hung. More so than me.
Will: Jack, really that was uncalled for.
Jack: I'm just telling you a lot of rum. Speaking of rum, you got any?