Chapter 5… Self help books, Ears, and a superhero name for himself.
Jack: You know what? I've been thinking.
Elizabeth: Oh god no you haven't been thinking Jack have you?
Jack: Funny luv, real funny, but no I was thinking, what is the point of self help books.
Will: What?
Jack: Well, if you help yourself, then it's not called self help its called help am I right mate? And also, if you help yourself you don't need any help cause you've helped yourself.
Will: What are you talking about, you don't make any sense.
Jack: Yes I do mate; you're just not listening properly. You know you should clean your ears out every once in a while, because if you don't nasty things will happen to them.
Will: Like what? They fall off?
Jack: Actually yeah.
Will: Right Jack.
Elizabeth: Jack your talking nonsense.
Jack: No, Mr. Cotton's parrot, he didn't take care of Mr. Cotton's ears, and one fell off mate, it just bloody dropped to the deck.
Will: Jack, I'm sure something else happened to make his ear fall off.
Jack: Well I asked Mr. Cotton, and he didn't say anything, so I was assuming my story was true.
Will: Jack, Cotton is a mute remember?
Jack: Bloody hell, your right. Damn, now I have to go find out how the ear came off. Bloody hell. Alright, well then I must be off to investigate this mystery.
Will: Alright, but be careful of your way out, because the floors slippery. Elizabeth Just washed.
Jack: See now that doesn't make any sense. Why would you wash the floor when you have company that is going to be leaving? See what is the sense in that mate.
Will: Cool it, it had to be done.
Jack: It couldn't wait 20 minutes for Christ sake. Now how am I supposed to leave?
Will: You could walk over the floor.
Jack: Don't be ridiculous. I couldn't possibly. You know what would be good, if I had tape on my shoes, and then I could just walk on your wall and ceilings and stuff. I mean it would be a lot more fun after all.
Will: Just walk over the floor.
Jack: I'm not done yet. And then I could be like a superhero, and jump from wall to wall. Pirate man who loves the ladies. That could be my name. Will, I demand that you call me that from now on.
Will: Jack I –
Jack: Pirate man who loves the ladies!!!
Will: So sorry, Pirate man who loves the ladies, don't you think you should condense the name a bit?
Jack: What does condense mean?
Will: Shorten the name a bit.
Jack: Well, I don't know, perhaps it could be Pirate Are me. Get it like Arrrrr not like the letter, clever eh?
Will: Oye.