Chapter 15: The Truth is a Dangerous Thing
Finally it was time to return to school. Mr. Wright gave us a lift to the train station where Addi caught her train to Clearglen and I caught the Hogwarts express. I was the only one and so had a long train ride to think. Hagrid was waiting to pick me up.
"Hey Sirius. Are ya alright?" He frowned then. "What happened at yer face?" I knew I bore the bruises and cuts of my grandfather's aggression, but I wasn't about to say that.
"I got in a fight." Not too far from the truth.
He sighed. "Ah Sirius. Yeh gotta stop that fightin'."
"I know." He did not say anything about my dad, except "I'm sorry. I knew yer mum and dad. Great folks, both of 'em." He wiped his eyes and blew his nose on a handkerchief found in one of his numerous pockets.
I entered the great hall. I pretended not to notice the whispers and stares that followed me to the table. I sat down in my regular seat. My friends had been in the middle of a conversation when I entered. They stopped and stared as soon as I sat down and helped myself to the food. James was the first to speak.
"Sirius! Where have you been?"
I shrugged.
"And what happened to your face?" Again I shrugged.
"Tell us. You've been gone for two weeks." Remus asked.
"Drop it, alright?" I hissed, not wanting to speak
"You don't just disappear for two weeks and then expect us not to ask!" James said, pushing it more than he had to.
"I
was at home." Which was true. That hell hole was my home now.
"Why?" Lily smiled.
"I said forget it." I felt bad for snapping at Lily, but at that moment, I did not care.
"Alright. Whenever you're ready, Sirius, We'll listen." Erin reached out and squeezed my hand. She smiled and I gave her a thankful grin.
"Hey Black, What's this I hear about your dad?" I groaned. Great, just the last person I wanted to see. Snape.
"Piss off, Snape. I am really not in the mood."
"Oh you're just moody because you've gotten your father killed too." I don't know really what happened next. I just snapped. I jumped up and started to hit him. He fought back. And soon we were rolling on the ground. James and Remus knew better than to try and stop me from their own experiences. I was just so intent on smashing Snape's head into the stone floor, I didn't hear the other students, or my friends, or the teachers. I only noticed when Dumbledore pulled us apart.
"Boys. My office now." He dragged us up to his office by our collars. Then he let us go and we slunk into the chairs in front of his desk. When he sat down, he gave us both a long hard look. I didn't look at Snape and met Dumbledore's gaze.
"Now," he said. " What is going on?"
" Sir, I just asked where he was all this time and he jumped me."
"No," I growled, " you didn't. You said I'd gotten my father…"
"There is no need to continue this conversation. Mr. Snape, there is no reason for you to taunt Sirius, especially now. I dare say, you know what it is like to loose a loved one. Therefore you will receive one detention. Please report to Professor Tralawney at eight. Sirius, I don't want to see this happen again, is that clear?"
"Yes sir."
"Good. Now go to class."
I walked to Professor McGonagall's class slowly. When I got there, class had already started. Professor McGonagall looked up from her desk and came over to me. At first I thought she was going to be mad at me for being late. But she took me aside.
"Sirius, are you alright?"
"Yes ma'm."
"Good, now go join your friends and please blow something up today. I can't stand to see all of you so depressed. It worries me."
I smiled and she favored me with a rare smile. I joined James, Remus, Peter, Lily, and Erin.
"Padfoot, you are going tell me right now what is going on or I will tell every one about that time at practice where you-"
"Okay, okay, I'll tell you."
I took a deep breath. It hurt just saying it. I felt like if I said it, it was final. " My dad was killed on Christmas."
They stared.
"Oh God, Sirius, I'm sorry." Lily said.
"It's okay." I said. " Look, can we talk about this later? There's something I really need to tell you but not here. It's too dangerous."
"Dangerous?" Erin asked her eyes wide.
"Yes."
"Come on Padfoot, give us a hint. You're going to kill James with waiting."
"Haha Moony."
"Alright." I relented. "It has to do with Voldemort."
"VOLDEMORT!" They all yelled. The whole class turned to stare at us. Professor McGonagall only shook her head and turned back to the boy she had been helping.
" Keep it down." I hissed.
Five "Sorry,"s were whispered back.
" I'll tell you later. Now can someone tell me what we are supposed to be doing?"
"Turning a porcupine into a pin cushion." Remus told me.
"Okay. Oh and Prongs you'll never guess what McGonagall asked me to do."
"What?"
"She told me we need to blow up something. The silence bothers her." He grinned
"I know just the thing."
In seconds Professor McGonagall's desk was transformed into a small pig. It ran around the room, squealing. We laughed so hard, I fell out of my desk. McGonagall just sighed. " Class dismissed." As we walked out she winked at me. I smiled back.
Back in our common room I told my friends what had happened and what I had over heard. But I left out the part about my grandfather. I really did not want to discuss it with anyone, much less my friends.
"Sirius, what if he tries to get to you at school?" Lily asked.
"I don't know. I mean Dumbledore's here. He wouldn't try anything while he's here's here." James said.
"Yeah, He's the one who drove him away after mum." I said.
Then the bell rang. We all stood up. The others turned to go out the portrait hole when Erin grabbed my arm.
"Sirius, I'm really sorry."
"Thanks."
"And I never got to give you your Christmas present." With that she kissed me. When she pulled back, we stood there stood there staring at each other. We smiled.
"And I never got to give you mine." And I kissed her right back. We pulled apart when we heard clapping. We spun around to see our friends standing there.
"Come on you lovebirds. Either get a room or let's go to class." We walked out into the hall.
"Jamie, if you say one more thing I will tell the whole school what you say in your sleep about Lily."
"What does he say about me?"
James turned beet red and pulled us back. The girls smiled and walked on ahead, giggling.
"I need to talk to you guys about something."
"What?" Remus asked.
"Jamie, we need to get to class." Peter said.
"Don't worry. Dumbledore told all the teachers about Sirius. He told them not to worry if he comes in late or something. We can just say we were talking to him."
'But we have potions. Beaker will never believe us."
"Who cares? This is important."
"What is it?"
" Well don't you think it's odd that Voldemort is wasting his time, trying to kill Padfoot? I mean, there doesn't seem to be a reason."
"It is weird. Tomorrow is the full moon. But this weekend I think we should investigate this." Remus said.
"But we have a match this weekend."
"On Sunday you don't. We'll check out any old prophecies and the like."
"Are you sure you'll be up to it?" I asked him
"Yes, it gives me two days. Don't worry."
We stood for a second.
"You know, I really don't feel like dealing Snape and Beaker today." I sighed.
"I wish he would just shut up about things he doesn't know anything about." James agreed.
"I wish he'd just shut up." Remus answered. We laughed and made our way down to the dungeons.
"Well, look who decided to grace us with their presence?" Professor Beaker sneered when we entered. "Since you boys are late, I will take ten points off for Gryffindor, as well as detentions for the lot of you."
"Please Professor, Sirius didn't feel very well. We were helping him. We didn't mean to be late." James told him. Beaker looked like a five year old who'd just been told Christmas had been canceled.
"Fine, but don't let it happen again." He grumbled.
"See, I told you he wouldn't go against Dumbledore." James whispered. The rest of the lesson was one of the worst I had ever been in. Snape kept making quiet evil remarks about my parents. James and Remus had to physically hold me back from killing him right then and there. They didn't, however, stop me from throwing a bottle of acid in his cauldron and making it explode.
It wasn't till that night when we were getting ready for bed anyone thought to ask me one obvious question.
"Oi, Padfoot. Where are you going to be staying?" Remus asked
I swallowed. This was a question I'd been hoping to avoid. For a second, I pretended not to have heard.
"Padfoot?"
"Yes?" I turned around, pretending to be working the buttons on my pajamas. Remus came over and flopped on my bed. James poked his head out from the bathroom, still brushing his teeth as he did so.
"Where are you living?"
"My grandfather." I muttered. I prayed they hadn't heard me.
"Who?" Remus's voice was getting suspicious. I heard James spit and there was the sound of running water. Then he too flopped on my bed. I turned around to face them, knowing I could not avoid them.
"My grandparents."
"Where are they?" Remus asked. I realized I'd never mentioned my grandparents to my friends. I'd never had a reason.
"Surrey." I said.
"Great, you're closer to me then." James said, grinning. He got up and went to his own bed. But Remus didn't move. He still looked at me, frowning.
"Yeah." I mumbled, "Great,". Then Remus got up and went to his own bed. I pulled my curtains closed, separating myself from my friends.
"Night Moony." James said.
"Night." Remus said.
"Night Wormtail." There was a snore from Peter's bed.
"Night Padfoot." But I didn't answer.
I closed my eyes. I was asleep in a second.
I woke up later. I could see it was still night. It was so dark, not a speck of light could be seen though the thick curtains. The darkness seemed to be smothering me. In a moment of childishness, I wanted my dad. Then I remembered. My dad was dead. Dead. I think for the past couple of days I had been in shock. It hadn't really hit me yet. But it did then in that endless darkness. I would never see him again. He was gone just like my mum. I couldn't stay here. I got up.
I went down the stairs. The fire still burned in the common room, but no one was there. But I didn't stop. I climbed right out the hole. I didn't know where I was going. I just had to get out. I must have walked all over Hogwarts that night. I walked just to keep moving. I almost wished someone would catch me and stop me. But no one did. Even Peeves flew right by me. It was like I was invisible. Then I turned a corner and standing there with a candle in his hand was Professor Dumbledore. I looked at him for a few moments. Those eyes seemed so familiar to me. I just couldn't place them.
"What are you doing up, Sirius?" He said, like meeting him in a dark hallway in the middle of the night was the most normal thing.
'I couldn't sleep, sir"
"Well, why don't you try and go back to sleep now?"
I nodded and turned to go. I somehow found my way to the portrait hole and climbed in. I didn't want to go back to that smothering darkness in my room so I curled up in one of the huge arms chairs. Before I knew what had happened I was asleep.
This continued for a few weeks. My friends asked me what was wrong, but I just waved them away.
The next morning at breakfast an owl dropped a letter on my plate. I slowly tore it open. It was from my dad
Dear Sirius and Adhara,
If you are reading this, it means I am dead. That our plan has failed. We had hoped, when you were born, but that is past now.
I know how much you must be hurting, but you must bear it. Sirius especially, you must stay alive. I cannot tell you how much it means, but you must.
Sirius, do you remember, when you were about five years old and you asked me if I ever got scared. I am scared. Very scared. I don't know what is going to happen. I don't know if I will be able to live to see the people you will become. I want to. So much. I know you're mother wanted to also. And though I hate to admit it, I am scared for myself. I want to live, not die. But sometimes you don't have a choice. And I am very scared for you.
You have been born into a dark time. I can't imagine how life will be when you get older. But I want you to live your lives to the fullest, and never let go of each other. Hang on like hell, to what you've got. You are not immortal, take some chances. Sirius, this is not encouragement for pranks. Although I will miss those daily letters.
Addi, although you can't do spells you have your own type of magic. Use it.
Sirius, ever since the day you were born. We have known you were different. Dumbledore told us you were. You are very very powerful, and no one can take away your powers.
Resist the dark side. I know Addi, it sounds very Star wars, like. Sirius, you won't have a clue what I am talking about. But never mind. If you were to turn, it would mean the end.
Never give up. And remember your mother and I are always with you.
Your father
Orion Sirius Black.
I folded the letter in my cloak, pushed aside the sob that threatened to exit my throat, and we headed straight for the library. We looked through old books and parchments. We didn't have much to go on though. Until…
" Hey mates, check this out." James called softly.
" What is it?" We crowed around him.
" It has been foretold by Godric Gryffindor Himself, that in the future,"
" Which could be anytime, since he lived a thousand years ago." Remus interrupted
"Yes we know, you prat, now let me finish." James glared. Then he cleared his throat and began to recite the passage in front of him, his voice echoing off of the soundless walls of the library.
"The fate of four present among us, has been declared
Twins of the famous Lion shall be reborn
The heir's of the Great house shall arrive together
For the first time in many years.
The wolf shall befriend them, the rat as well.
But paradise must end with the star's mistake.
The rat shall receive thirty pieces of silver and the stag will be sold.
The innocent will rot, and the guilty, walk free
One will remain and one will die.
From he, who is sacrificed, will come
He who will defeat
The ancient curse must be broken
Or all will be doomed.
The battle must endWith He who will live."
James's voice echoed eerily across the library. When he finished, we all looked at each other. Something about it chilled me and I shivered.
" Look mates, can we forget this? It's stupid." I slammed the book down and stomped from the room, earning an evil stare from Madam Pince.
When I talked to my friends that night, they didn't mention it. In fact they never did again. Now I wonder, what if they did?
Chapter 16: Too Hard
In the next few months my friends where the only things that kept me from going completely crazy. They kept coming up with more and more insane tricks to keep my mind occupied. As a result I had more detentions to keep my mind occupied. They kept my spirits up. Once when I could hardly bare it anymore I told Lily life was too hard and I didn't want to deal with it anymore.
She only looked at me and said "Too hard? Life is hard. The most important things we do are hard. The person who feels he cannot face another day, yet does, is no less brave than he who slays dragons without fear. If you never do anything hard, you won't live." I have gone by that advice ever since.
I remember once when I was feeling particularly bad, Remus and James came up with a little game called "Pitch Black."
I was sitting on my bed, having snapped at Remus for trying to get me to talk. After a few minutes, James, Peter, and Remus all came into the room, huge smiles on their faces.
"Sirius?" James asked.
"What?" I mumbled, annoyed that they couldn't leave me alone.
"We have a little game we'd like to try." James said.
"What?" I asked, a bit interested.
"Pitch Black." Remus said, grinning slyly.
"What?" I asked. Peter too, seemed confused.
"How do you play?" he asked.
"Oh, it's easy." James said. And with that he grabbed me by my collar, dragged me off my bed and shoved me toward Remus. Remus held up a pillow and smacked me like a ball, sending me tumbling down.
"You just pitch Black." Remus grinned and pulled me to my feet. Then he shoved me at Peter. I fell on him and he grumbled.
"Thanks for the demonstration. " he grumbled, as we struggled to get up.
"Wormtail! It's your turn!" James shouted. Peter grumbled and did his best to shove me to James. I tried to stop, but soon I was enjoying myself more than anyone.
"Does it matter that pitch Potter just doesn't have the same ring? Ow!" I said, as James threw me into the wall.
"Oops, missed. No, it doesn't. Sorry." He said, as I crashed into Remus. Soon we were all on the floor, laughing too hard to throw anyone anywhere, except make random objects chase Peter, which was entertainment any day.
I poured more into my studies than I had before. The only problem was (James had the same one) I got top scores anyway. So I really didn't have to put much more into it but the good thing was I hardly had two seconds to just relax and wonder about things. When I did that I always ended up thinking about my dad. I was just so busy with work and Quiddich and we were always planning something
Then about April, an interesting development popped up in my life. We had Divination first thing in the morning. After a particularly boring day of doing nothing but staring into crystal balls, in which I could see only fog and predicted it would be foggy the next morning, I was going stark raving mad.
As the bell rang and we hurried out of class, a Slytherin girl nudged James and he stepped aside to let her go by stepping off the ladder that led down and almost falling. Luckily, I was right behind him and grabbed him, hauling him back up to the classroom.
"Jamie! Why'd you let her push you?" he shrugged.
"I was just being nice."
"One of these days," I told him, " you'll fall right off that ladder. You'll see."
"Sure Siri. Whatever." He said, grinning. Then he stepped back to let Lily go down the stairs. James, being the love struck idiot that he was, stepped right off the ladder and fell to the floor. I groaned and leaned over.
"You alright, Prongs?" James gave me thumbs up, from where Remus and Lily were helping him to his feet.
"Told you." I called down. But as I began to descend, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see Professor Trelawney
"Mr. Black, would you please come with me?" I nodded.
"I'll be down in a sec, mates. Wait for me." James and Remus nodded. She led me passed the classroom, into her office, a place just as smoky, and smelling just as bad.
"Have a seat." She waved her ringed hand at the easy chair in front of the desk. I sat on the edge, unsure of just why I was here. She sat down in her chair, eying me.
I noticed a large crystal ball on her desk, much larger than the ones we used. It was bigger than a football, for wizards, the reference might be twice as big as a quaffle. She noticed me staring at it, and pulled it to the center of the desk.
"Tell me, what do you see?" She asked. I gazed at her, but looked into the ball. Of course, I saw nothing more than a lot of fog. I glanced at her. She was eyeing me over her bug like spectacles.
"I see lots of fog." I told her.
"Fog?"
""Lots of fog."
"Indeed." She leaned back. "Fog, mystery, an unclear future. You have a gift, my dear."
I was unable to stop myself as I burst out laughing. "A gift? Me?" She frowned.
"Yes, you I knew it the moment I laid eyes on you that there was something different about you." I was struggling to hold my laughter in.
"Different? About me? I think you have the wrong person."
"Not at all. I do think, Mr. Black, that this class is all wrong for you. " I stared at her. "Yes, I can see what you are thinking."
I'm sure, I thought. But if she could read my mind, she made no comment about that thought. She continued.
"I am not removing you from this class. I am recommending that you advance to the next level, a special class I have reserved for those truly able to see the future. Advanced Divination. I will speak to Professor McGonagall about the time. Come see me tonight after dinner."
I sighed, but nodded. I fought to control the laughter building up inside of me as I descended the stairs. Remus, James, Peter, Erin, and Lily were waiting for me. As soon as the stairs vanished, I let it all out and collapsed against the wall, laughing.
"What did she say?" James asked. They looked at me expectantly, but I just laughed.
"What?' Remus grabbed me and shook me. I managed to open my eyes.
"She wants," I couldn't say it and I burst out laughing again, almost doubled over.
"What?" James shouted.
"She wants me, " I paused to gasp for breath, "to drop this class and take advanced…" I burst out again.
"Advanced Divination? You?" Remus asked in disbelief.
"She thinks I have a gift." I told them. My friends all looked at each other, and then burst into laughter. We rolled around on the floor, laughing hysterically until the bell rang, signaling the start of the next class. Franticly, we sped off towards Transfigurations, where we told McGonagall, Trelawney had held us back and she let it slide, "just this once."
The next morning, when I usually had a free period, I made my way up to the Divinations tower. I knew that there would be no one in the class, I'd make a fool out of myself and that was that.
When I opened the door, the first thing I noticed was that I was the only boy. The second thing I noticed was that I was the only Gryffindor. I settled nervously down next to a Ravenclaw, who smiled gently at me.
"Sirius Black, right?" I nodded. She held out a hand.
"Melissa Figg. Professor Trelawney told us you would be joining our class."
"I'm sure she did." I mumbled, glancing around.
"You don't believe her?" I simply looked at her and laughed.
"I heard Gryffindors don't believe in things like Divination. Professor McGonagall tells them it's not real." A Slytherin spoke up.
"Really? I heard Slytherins put too much stock in these sorts of things. In fact, I can make a correct prediction right now! I predict that Severus Snape never washes his hair!"
This raised several giggles form Melissa, the other two Ravenclaws and the Hufflepuff. The Slytherin glared at me.
"You better watch you back, Black. The time will come when you Gryffindors will realize you are on the wrong side." She hissed under her breath.
"The wrong side? As long as I am on the side of justice and understanding, it doesn't matter to me what some prejudice stinking Slytherin thinks."
"Filthy mudblood." She hissed. I leapt to my feet, but just as I did, Trelawney entered.
"Ah good morning class. I see you've met our newest student, Sirius Black. Sirius, please take your seat." I sat down.
As Trelawney began to drone on and on, I lay my head down on my book and was soon fast asleep.
As time went by, Melissa and I fell into a pattern. I slept through class and she lent me her notes and the assignments. The Slytherin threatened to tell, but I told her that if Trelawney was so great, she would have already known, in which case it would be insulting to her to tell. That shut her up