A note about Gilbert and Sulivan before I begin. These guys wrote operettas a very long time ago, so
they're plenty on the old side. Which as I've been told means that they really don't have much in the
way of copyrights. I'm assuming this is the way this works. Also these plays were not written to be
serious to begin with. Many recent preformances have the script adapted with "in jokes" for the
times. Most of the dialogue will be straight from the script. Though I'm sure you'll be able to pick out
the "in jokes" as they pop up.
Last note, it will help you well a bit to know of the characters from the drama series Crashers and Ran.
All of the Crashers have parts in the play albeit very small ones. You don't necessarily have to know
them, but it might be more amusing for you if you do.
The Peer and the Peri
A Play Directed by Rain Ayo
Staring:
THE LORD CHANCELLOR
EARL OF MOUNTARARAT
EARL TOLLOLLER
PRIVATE WILLIS (of the Grenadier Guards)
STREPHON (an Arcadian Shepherd)
QUEEN OF THE FAIRIES
IOLANTHE (a Fairy, Strephon's Mother)
FAIRIES: CELIA, LEILA, FLETA
PHYLLIS (an Arcadian Shepherdess and Ward of Chancery)
Act One Scene 1
The lights slowly come on as the overture fades into the opening number. Now the fun was really
going to begin. The stage was set to perfectly replicate an arcadian landscape, just like it says in the
script. Bushes and little trees and the bridge and the lake running underneath it. It all looked better
then when it was done by the cheap little high school cast. Of course it did, this is my fic afterall. The
stage was set perfectly except for one thing. The cast was late.
Well they were until I finally spotted the first of the faries to make their appearance. The perky little
fellow, dressed completely in rainbow colored translucent fabric, layered into a sort of dress. As if
that hadn't been enough for him, and I knew it hadn't been, he covered his little pixie wings with
multicolored glitter. His legs were encased in yellow and black striped stockings and his wrists were
covered with hundreds of blue and red plastic bracelets. A poofy beret topped it all off in such a
strange, yet almost fittingly, ridiculous way. This IS Naru we're talking about after all.
He was tugging impatiently on the hand of a much taller and a bit less excited woman. Her own dress
of layered fabric at least followed a simple pattern of different shades of blue, matching with her hair
quite nicely. Blue glitter touched up her wings, as well as a bit in her hair, which had been pulled up in
a somewhat messy ponytail at the top of her head. Tan nylons covered her legs and ended in soft
blue slippers. Queen looked as elegant as ever, even if she was dressed as something a bit more
ridiculous then that no front dress she usually wears.
Naru finally managed to get Queen to join him on the stage and the pair were merrily dancing away
across the stage. Queen had a light spring to her step, while trying quite hard to hold back the
unfotunately obvious blush of "oh my god I can't believe I'm actually doing this." Naru looked like he
was going to trip over his own two feet. He completely lacked all grace and probably would have
fallen several times if Queen hadn't managed to catch him.
Soon after skipped on the last three of the group. Aya wore a sparkling purple concoction, deep
amethyst purple all the way down the line to a light lavendar. Purple tights covered her legs down to
cute little matching purple boots. Her hair was pulled out of its usual braids and pulled up into a pair
of high pigtails, each one with long strands of dark purple ribbon tied around the base of the tail. She
covered her eye lids with purple glitter and her wings sparkled with all the glitter she'd glued on to
them.
Manx's red layered dress hung around her frame nicely, non too short nor too long. Her shoulders
were bare but she wore full length red fingerless gloves. Her hair was pulled back similarly to Queen's
with strands of red metallic ribbon threaded through the tail. Her wings had a very light dusting of
glitter on them, catching the light only when she stood just in the right way. Her long legs were
covered with a pair of skin tight red thigh high boots.
Birman's dress of sea colored fabric hugged her nicely, with sleeves down to her wrists. The frilly
skirt covered the tops her her knee high blue and green swirled stockings, that ended in soft green
ballet slippers tied all the way up to her knees. Her hair was piled at top her head in two very small but
tight buns. Each one covered in green bun covers with long streamers of blue and green tumbling
from it. Her wings were touched up with sea green paint and glitter.
The five of them did they're little dance across the stage, finally coming to rest in the center, posing in
a somewhat foolish pattern. Each of them held the hand of their neighbor. They made a sort of ring,
with Naru, and Aya kneeling on the floor in front of the other three. From there, they started to sing,
and I had to try really hard not to laugh.
Tripping hither, tripping thither,
Nobody knows why or whither;
We must dance and we must sing
Round about our fairy ring!
Skipping up and away, they widened their ring to a half circle leaving Manx in the center. She
prissified herself for a moment, playing with her hair and dusting off her gloves. With a wink and a
quick blown kiss, she bursted into her solo.
We are dainty little fairies,
Ever singing, ever dancing;
We indulge in our vagaries
In a fashion most entrancing.
If you ask the special function
Of our never-ceasing motion,
We reply, without compunction,
That we haven't any notion!
The remaining faires echoed Manx's comment, "No, we haven't any notion! Any notion!" The dance
began again as they skipped to their next pose, singing the chours once again. They paused once
again at stage left, Naru neatly ( well as neatly as Naru could ) sprawled out in front of them all. Aya
and Manx knelt on one knee one at each end of the short fairy. Queen standing poised behind them
all. On the opposite side of the stage stood Birman who swept easily into her own solo.
If you ask us how we live,
Lovers all essentials give--
We can ride on lovers' sighs,
Warm ourselves in lovers' eyes,
Bathe ourselves in lovers' tears,
Clothe ourselves with lovers' fears,
Arm ourselves with lovers' darts,
Hide ourselves in lovers' hearts.
When you know us, you'll discover
That we almost live on lover!
Once again the remaining girls echoed the final statement, "Yes, we live on lover!" The chorus
ranging through one last time for their little finale of sorts. It involved a strange little dance that was
half elegent ( in the case of the eldest ladies ) and half a stomping disaster ( in the case of the
youngest pair ), which was as it was supposed to be. The audience seemed to enjoy it, the
sounds of laughter rang out when Naru finally did trip over his own two feet and land face first.
The song came to its close and Aya helped Naru to a more comfortable sitting position. Queen
paused to take a seat on a conviently placed prop rock and Manx and Birman stood in the center,
looking somewhat dejected despite the pleasure that had danced on their faces through their previous
dance.
Manx sighed with a great dramatic flair and tossed aside a hand. She spoke loudly and clearly, her
voice dripping with the "pain" she was suddenly feeling at the moment. "Ah, it's all very well, but
since our Queen banished Iolanthe, fairy revels have not been what they were!" Manx said as the
fairy Celia.
Birman nodded her agreement, looking equally pained at that moment. "Iolanthe was the life and soul
of Fairyland. Why, she wrote all our songs and arranged all our dances! We sing her songs and we
trip her measures, but we don't enjoy ourselves!" the saddened words of Leila fell from Birman's
mouth.
Celia and Leila weren't the only dejected looking ones, Aya, playing the role of Fleta rushed to her
"sisters" side. "To think that five-and-twenty years have elapsed since she was banished! What
could she have done to have deserved so terrible a punishment?" Fleta asked with true curiousity.
Leila placed a finger against her lip in a sign of silence. The others drew closer to her, awaiting the
secret of their fair Iolanthe's fate. Her face scruntched itself in a cringe and she finally spoke,
"Something awful! She married a mortal!" She shuddered in seeming disgust, as if saying such
things allowed could actually make one throw up in the corner.
Fleta just blinked. She was the youngest and a bit on the clueless side. "Oh! Is it injudicious to
marry a mortal?" she asked, tilting her head to the side.
"Injudicious?" Leila sputtered. She stomped her foot and waved her hands. "It strikes at the root of
the whole fairy system. By our laws, the fairy who marries a mortal...DIES!"
That brought for a set of gasps from her fellow Fairies. How awful for such a fate to have been laid
before their beloved Iolanthe. Ceila sputtered in her surprise for a moment before saying, "But
Iolanthe didn't die!"
"No," spoke the booming voice of the entering Queen of the Fairies. A billowing green dress of the
layered type fell down past the Queen's feet in a long train. Most of the firey hair was pulled into a
messy ponytail a top his head, save for a few strands that surrounded his face and jaden eyes. The
Queen was on the stout side, looking a bit rounder around the waist then usual. He held a loft a might
wand topped with a large glittering star ( with which to beat people with...had to promise him that too.
-.- ). His wings were much larger then the other faires, with a much more obvious butterfly shape to
them.
"No, because your Queen, who loved her with a surpassing love, commuted her sentence to penal
servitude for life, on condition that she left her husband and never communicated with him again!" the
Queen said with a pained sigh, coming to a stop beside her group of Faries.
Leila rushed to her queen's side. "That sentence of penal servitude she is now working out, on her
head, at the bottom of that stream!" the fairy said with a sigh of her own.
"Yes, but when I banished her, I gave her all the pleasant places of the earth to dwell in. I'm sure I
never intended that she should go and live at the bottom of a stream! It makes me perfectly wretched
to think of the discomfort she must have undergone!" the redhaired queen brought a hand to his
chest as if his own heart hurt at such horrible thoughts.
Leila turned the others with a thought. "Think of the damp! And her chest was always so delicate."
the eldest fairy said with a slight gasp. Oh what a wretched thought.
The Queen took a deep breath, trying to compose himself. "And the frogs!" the words came out thick
with disgust. He shuddered at the thoughts of his least favorite of all creatures. "Ugh! I never shall
enjoy any peace of mind until I know why Iolanthe went to live among the frongs!"
Fleta, all eyes and cute, rushed to the Queen's other side. "Then why not summon her and ask her?"
she asked, folding her hands under her chin. The others gathering around likewise.
The Queen eyed the puppy eyes he was getting from his subjects. He would crack under such strain.
"Why? Because if I set eyes on her I should forgive her at once!" he said, stepping back a step away
from the pleading eyes.
Ceila fell down to her knees now begging her queen for the pardon of their beloved Iolanthe. "Then
why not forgive her?" she asked. "Twenty-five years--its a long time."
Leila chirping her accent beside her. "Think of how we loved her!" she begged.
The queen drew himself up to stare down at her now kneeling subjects. Such words from them, those
who knew nothing of the heart that lied deep in the imposing queen's chest. "Loved her?" he spoke
in moking tones. "What was YOUR love to mine!" His face took on an almost wistful look, as
memories surfaced. "Why, she was invaluable to me! Who taught me to curl myself inside a
buttercup? Iolanthe! Who taught me to swing upon a cobweb? Iolanthe! Who taught me to dive
into a dewdrop--to nestle in a nutshell--to gambol upon gossamer? Iolanthe!" The words poured
forth, each with their own charaded movements.
Leila turned to the nearest sister and giggled. Don't you think that sounded ridiculous? "She
certainly did surprising things!" she said bringing forth more giggles.
Fleta hushed her sisters' giggling as she tugged on the Queen's hand. "Oh please great queen! Give
her back to us, for your sake, if not for hours!" she pleaded, turning on those puppy dog eyes for all
she was worth.
The Queen looked worriedly at his subjects. He tried to strengthen his will against such an
onslaught. "Oh, I should be strong, but I am weak," she said slumping down a bit. Resolution
returned and he straightened himself. "I should be marble, but I am clay!" He sighed once more and
helped Fleta up, taking hold of the hand that rested on his own. "Her punishment has been heavier
then I intended. I did not mean that she should live among the frogs and--well, well, it shall be as you
wish--it shall be as you wish!"
they're plenty on the old side. Which as I've been told means that they really don't have much in the
way of copyrights. I'm assuming this is the way this works. Also these plays were not written to be
serious to begin with. Many recent preformances have the script adapted with "in jokes" for the
times. Most of the dialogue will be straight from the script. Though I'm sure you'll be able to pick out
the "in jokes" as they pop up.
Last note, it will help you well a bit to know of the characters from the drama series Crashers and Ran.
All of the Crashers have parts in the play albeit very small ones. You don't necessarily have to know
them, but it might be more amusing for you if you do.
The Peer and the Peri
A Play Directed by Rain Ayo
Staring:
THE LORD CHANCELLOR
EARL OF MOUNTARARAT
EARL TOLLOLLER
PRIVATE WILLIS (of the Grenadier Guards)
STREPHON (an Arcadian Shepherd)
QUEEN OF THE FAIRIES
IOLANTHE (a Fairy, Strephon's Mother)
FAIRIES: CELIA, LEILA, FLETA
PHYLLIS (an Arcadian Shepherdess and Ward of Chancery)
Act One Scene 1
The lights slowly come on as the overture fades into the opening number. Now the fun was really
going to begin. The stage was set to perfectly replicate an arcadian landscape, just like it says in the
script. Bushes and little trees and the bridge and the lake running underneath it. It all looked better
then when it was done by the cheap little high school cast. Of course it did, this is my fic afterall. The
stage was set perfectly except for one thing. The cast was late.
Well they were until I finally spotted the first of the faries to make their appearance. The perky little
fellow, dressed completely in rainbow colored translucent fabric, layered into a sort of dress. As if
that hadn't been enough for him, and I knew it hadn't been, he covered his little pixie wings with
multicolored glitter. His legs were encased in yellow and black striped stockings and his wrists were
covered with hundreds of blue and red plastic bracelets. A poofy beret topped it all off in such a
strange, yet almost fittingly, ridiculous way. This IS Naru we're talking about after all.
He was tugging impatiently on the hand of a much taller and a bit less excited woman. Her own dress
of layered fabric at least followed a simple pattern of different shades of blue, matching with her hair
quite nicely. Blue glitter touched up her wings, as well as a bit in her hair, which had been pulled up in
a somewhat messy ponytail at the top of her head. Tan nylons covered her legs and ended in soft
blue slippers. Queen looked as elegant as ever, even if she was dressed as something a bit more
ridiculous then that no front dress she usually wears.
Naru finally managed to get Queen to join him on the stage and the pair were merrily dancing away
across the stage. Queen had a light spring to her step, while trying quite hard to hold back the
unfotunately obvious blush of "oh my god I can't believe I'm actually doing this." Naru looked like he
was going to trip over his own two feet. He completely lacked all grace and probably would have
fallen several times if Queen hadn't managed to catch him.
Soon after skipped on the last three of the group. Aya wore a sparkling purple concoction, deep
amethyst purple all the way down the line to a light lavendar. Purple tights covered her legs down to
cute little matching purple boots. Her hair was pulled out of its usual braids and pulled up into a pair
of high pigtails, each one with long strands of dark purple ribbon tied around the base of the tail. She
covered her eye lids with purple glitter and her wings sparkled with all the glitter she'd glued on to
them.
Manx's red layered dress hung around her frame nicely, non too short nor too long. Her shoulders
were bare but she wore full length red fingerless gloves. Her hair was pulled back similarly to Queen's
with strands of red metallic ribbon threaded through the tail. Her wings had a very light dusting of
glitter on them, catching the light only when she stood just in the right way. Her long legs were
covered with a pair of skin tight red thigh high boots.
Birman's dress of sea colored fabric hugged her nicely, with sleeves down to her wrists. The frilly
skirt covered the tops her her knee high blue and green swirled stockings, that ended in soft green
ballet slippers tied all the way up to her knees. Her hair was piled at top her head in two very small but
tight buns. Each one covered in green bun covers with long streamers of blue and green tumbling
from it. Her wings were touched up with sea green paint and glitter.
The five of them did they're little dance across the stage, finally coming to rest in the center, posing in
a somewhat foolish pattern. Each of them held the hand of their neighbor. They made a sort of ring,
with Naru, and Aya kneeling on the floor in front of the other three. From there, they started to sing,
and I had to try really hard not to laugh.
Tripping hither, tripping thither,
Nobody knows why or whither;
We must dance and we must sing
Round about our fairy ring!
Skipping up and away, they widened their ring to a half circle leaving Manx in the center. She
prissified herself for a moment, playing with her hair and dusting off her gloves. With a wink and a
quick blown kiss, she bursted into her solo.
We are dainty little fairies,
Ever singing, ever dancing;
We indulge in our vagaries
In a fashion most entrancing.
If you ask the special function
Of our never-ceasing motion,
We reply, without compunction,
That we haven't any notion!
The remaining faires echoed Manx's comment, "No, we haven't any notion! Any notion!" The dance
began again as they skipped to their next pose, singing the chours once again. They paused once
again at stage left, Naru neatly ( well as neatly as Naru could ) sprawled out in front of them all. Aya
and Manx knelt on one knee one at each end of the short fairy. Queen standing poised behind them
all. On the opposite side of the stage stood Birman who swept easily into her own solo.
If you ask us how we live,
Lovers all essentials give--
We can ride on lovers' sighs,
Warm ourselves in lovers' eyes,
Bathe ourselves in lovers' tears,
Clothe ourselves with lovers' fears,
Arm ourselves with lovers' darts,
Hide ourselves in lovers' hearts.
When you know us, you'll discover
That we almost live on lover!
Once again the remaining girls echoed the final statement, "Yes, we live on lover!" The chorus
ranging through one last time for their little finale of sorts. It involved a strange little dance that was
half elegent ( in the case of the eldest ladies ) and half a stomping disaster ( in the case of the
youngest pair ), which was as it was supposed to be. The audience seemed to enjoy it, the
sounds of laughter rang out when Naru finally did trip over his own two feet and land face first.
The song came to its close and Aya helped Naru to a more comfortable sitting position. Queen
paused to take a seat on a conviently placed prop rock and Manx and Birman stood in the center,
looking somewhat dejected despite the pleasure that had danced on their faces through their previous
dance.
Manx sighed with a great dramatic flair and tossed aside a hand. She spoke loudly and clearly, her
voice dripping with the "pain" she was suddenly feeling at the moment. "Ah, it's all very well, but
since our Queen banished Iolanthe, fairy revels have not been what they were!" Manx said as the
fairy Celia.
Birman nodded her agreement, looking equally pained at that moment. "Iolanthe was the life and soul
of Fairyland. Why, she wrote all our songs and arranged all our dances! We sing her songs and we
trip her measures, but we don't enjoy ourselves!" the saddened words of Leila fell from Birman's
mouth.
Celia and Leila weren't the only dejected looking ones, Aya, playing the role of Fleta rushed to her
"sisters" side. "To think that five-and-twenty years have elapsed since she was banished! What
could she have done to have deserved so terrible a punishment?" Fleta asked with true curiousity.
Leila placed a finger against her lip in a sign of silence. The others drew closer to her, awaiting the
secret of their fair Iolanthe's fate. Her face scruntched itself in a cringe and she finally spoke,
"Something awful! She married a mortal!" She shuddered in seeming disgust, as if saying such
things allowed could actually make one throw up in the corner.
Fleta just blinked. She was the youngest and a bit on the clueless side. "Oh! Is it injudicious to
marry a mortal?" she asked, tilting her head to the side.
"Injudicious?" Leila sputtered. She stomped her foot and waved her hands. "It strikes at the root of
the whole fairy system. By our laws, the fairy who marries a mortal...DIES!"
That brought for a set of gasps from her fellow Fairies. How awful for such a fate to have been laid
before their beloved Iolanthe. Ceila sputtered in her surprise for a moment before saying, "But
Iolanthe didn't die!"
"No," spoke the booming voice of the entering Queen of the Fairies. A billowing green dress of the
layered type fell down past the Queen's feet in a long train. Most of the firey hair was pulled into a
messy ponytail a top his head, save for a few strands that surrounded his face and jaden eyes. The
Queen was on the stout side, looking a bit rounder around the waist then usual. He held a loft a might
wand topped with a large glittering star ( with which to beat people with...had to promise him that too.
-.- ). His wings were much larger then the other faires, with a much more obvious butterfly shape to
them.
"No, because your Queen, who loved her with a surpassing love, commuted her sentence to penal
servitude for life, on condition that she left her husband and never communicated with him again!" the
Queen said with a pained sigh, coming to a stop beside her group of Faries.
Leila rushed to her queen's side. "That sentence of penal servitude she is now working out, on her
head, at the bottom of that stream!" the fairy said with a sigh of her own.
"Yes, but when I banished her, I gave her all the pleasant places of the earth to dwell in. I'm sure I
never intended that she should go and live at the bottom of a stream! It makes me perfectly wretched
to think of the discomfort she must have undergone!" the redhaired queen brought a hand to his
chest as if his own heart hurt at such horrible thoughts.
Leila turned the others with a thought. "Think of the damp! And her chest was always so delicate."
the eldest fairy said with a slight gasp. Oh what a wretched thought.
The Queen took a deep breath, trying to compose himself. "And the frogs!" the words came out thick
with disgust. He shuddered at the thoughts of his least favorite of all creatures. "Ugh! I never shall
enjoy any peace of mind until I know why Iolanthe went to live among the frongs!"
Fleta, all eyes and cute, rushed to the Queen's other side. "Then why not summon her and ask her?"
she asked, folding her hands under her chin. The others gathering around likewise.
The Queen eyed the puppy eyes he was getting from his subjects. He would crack under such strain.
"Why? Because if I set eyes on her I should forgive her at once!" he said, stepping back a step away
from the pleading eyes.
Ceila fell down to her knees now begging her queen for the pardon of their beloved Iolanthe. "Then
why not forgive her?" she asked. "Twenty-five years--its a long time."
Leila chirping her accent beside her. "Think of how we loved her!" she begged.
The queen drew himself up to stare down at her now kneeling subjects. Such words from them, those
who knew nothing of the heart that lied deep in the imposing queen's chest. "Loved her?" he spoke
in moking tones. "What was YOUR love to mine!" His face took on an almost wistful look, as
memories surfaced. "Why, she was invaluable to me! Who taught me to curl myself inside a
buttercup? Iolanthe! Who taught me to swing upon a cobweb? Iolanthe! Who taught me to dive
into a dewdrop--to nestle in a nutshell--to gambol upon gossamer? Iolanthe!" The words poured
forth, each with their own charaded movements.
Leila turned to the nearest sister and giggled. Don't you think that sounded ridiculous? "She
certainly did surprising things!" she said bringing forth more giggles.
Fleta hushed her sisters' giggling as she tugged on the Queen's hand. "Oh please great queen! Give
her back to us, for your sake, if not for hours!" she pleaded, turning on those puppy dog eyes for all
she was worth.
The Queen looked worriedly at his subjects. He tried to strengthen his will against such an
onslaught. "Oh, I should be strong, but I am weak," she said slumping down a bit. Resolution
returned and he straightened himself. "I should be marble, but I am clay!" He sighed once more and
helped Fleta up, taking hold of the hand that rested on his own. "Her punishment has been heavier
then I intended. I did not mean that she should live among the frogs and--well, well, it shall be as you
wish--it shall be as you wish!"