In an attempt to revamp something that I haven't written on in absolutely forever, I finally have this part completed and the rest is slowly on its way. I'm tempted to post several stories at once and see how that works. Who knows. Anyway, the odds are my Youji Autobio and this one are probably going to be my major projects.

Questions? Comments? You know where to go.

The Peer and the Peri

A Play Directed by Rain Ayo

Staring:

THE LORD CHANCELLOR

EARL OF MOUNTARARAT

EARL TOLLOLLER

PRIVATE WILLIS (of the Grenadier Guards)

STREPHON (an Arcadian Shepherd)

QUEEN OF THE FAIRIES - as played by Schuldig

IOLANTHE (a Fairy, Strephon's Mother)

FAIRIES: CELIA, LEILA, FLETA - as played by Manx, Birman, and Aya-chan

PHYLLIS (an Arcadian Shepherdess and Ward of Chancery)

Act One Scene 2

The fairies all squealed their excitement, at which the Queen really couldn't hold back his wince at the sound. Fleta was about two inches away from his ear, I suppose I can let him slid for that one. ^_~ The fairies danced in little rings of two and three for a bit while the Queen began to make his way to the back of the stage. He stepped up onto the bridge, with the other fairies trailing in behind him.

Waving his oversized golden wand above the fabric water below, a convient stage hand that no one could see began to make the "water" wave gently. In a rich contralto the Queen bellowed, "Iolanthe! From thy dark exile thou art summoned. Come to our call--come, come, Iolanthe!"

Leila and Ceila each rang their own calls, before the fairies as one echoed the queen's call. "Come to our call, Iolanthe, Iolanthe, come!"

A faint mist seeped onto the stage acting a slight cover as the hooded figure slowly appeared as if from the depths of the water below. Covered from head to foot in long strings of greenery, the hung head was not visable. A small, pain filled voice came from under the cover.

With humbled breast

And every hope laid low,

To thy behest,

Offended Queen, I bow!

The Queen stepped down from the bridge, coming around to stand beside the sad looking form. He was stern as he looked down at the kneeling figure.

For a dark sin against our fairy laws

We sent thee into life-long banishment;

But mercy holds her sway within our hearts--

Rise--thou art pardoned!

The fairies gathered round the bedraggled outcast, quickly divulging the brightening figure of all the garbage. With the covering gone the figure stood, his bright sapphire eyes turned out to the audience with joy. Short golden hair encircled a shining face, prinklings of baby's breath rested in his hair.. A long white dress rested on his shoulders, appearing a bit like a wedding dress missing its veil. "Pardoned!"

Pardoned!

The fairies danced round their long since gone sister. He laughed and they paused long enough for hugs to be passed around to all. This was a joyous day for them all. They're band was once again complete.

Welcome to our hearts again,

Iolanthe! Iolanthe!

We have shared thy bitter pain,

Iolanthe! Iolanthe!

Every heart and every hand

In our loving little band

Welcomes thee to Fairyland,

Iolanthe!

They settled themselves once again, the Queen making a throne out of that conviently placed rock. Iolanthe just at his feet, leaning against the emerald dress. A sweet ( man is he a good actor if he can make THAT convincing ) smile touched the Queen's lips as he ran a gentle hand through the golden locks. I know he's gonna get hit for that one later after that bang that sounds from offstage. Something tells me that Schu decided to rub it in Youji's face, and from the wink that the german sends my way even in the back of the auditorium, I know my theory is correct.

"And now, tell me, with all the the world to choose from, why on earth did you decide to live at the bottom of that stream?" the Queen asked, obvious distress in his voice. He couldn't even begin to understand what would bring Iolanthe to do such a thing.

Iolanthe just smiled sweetly up at the Queen. "To be near my son, Strephon," he said. It was as if it was as obvious as the fact that he was a woman, or...something like that.

The fairies were all taken aback. This was new news for them. Iolanthe had been with child and none of them even noticed. Signs of dense faires? I think so. "Bless my heart, I didn't you know you had a son," the Queen said.

Iolanthe sat up and turned to all her sisters. "He was born soon after I left my husband by your royal command--but he does not even know of his father's existence," she said. She looked a bit sad at that. His beloved son going through his whole life without ever knowing his father had always worried Iolanthe. He deserved to know.

Fleta perked up. She was always interested in hearing tales of new boys. "How old is he?" she asked, tugging on Iolanthe's sleeve excitedly.

"Twenty-four."

Leila giggled. "Twenty-four! No one, to look at you would think you had a son of twenty-four! But that's one of the advantages of being immortal. We never grow old!" the sea colored fairy said, preening for a moment. "Is he pretty?"

Iolanthe nodded happily. "He's extremely pretty, but he's inclined to be stout," he said. Just a light shrug, it hardly mattered to him. Strephon was his baby. He would always be beautiful in Iolanthe's eyes.

The other fairies weren't so impressed however, letting out a collective, "oh..." The Queen sputtered, looking a bit embarassed. "I see no objection to stoutness, in moderation." He wasn't fat. No, he was perfect, skinny, deathly so. He was going to kill the author for her sick twisted ideas, and that's not me talking anymore. I don't think Schu's going to get his blackmail.

The Queen squeaked as Ceila pressed on for more information. "And what is he?" she asked curiously.

"He's an Arcadian shepherd--and he loves Phyllis, a Ward in Chancery," Iolanthe said. Oh was Strephon ever in love with Phyllis. He was so cute when he came to the lake with new tales of picnics and romantic walks in the moonlight.

Once again, the fairies were quite unimpressed. "A mere shepherd and he half a fairy," she scoffed, turning away from her eldest sister. Why couldn't he have been a really hot lord or something?

Iolanthe placed a hand on Ceila's shoulder. "He's a fairy down to the waist--but his legs are mortal," he said, drawing a collective "aww" from the other fairies. Perhaps they felt pity for the boy who'd grown into a fairy to the waist, or maybe they just didn't get it. You really could never tell with them.

The Queen ahemed softly, drawing all the attention back to himself as it should be. "I have no reason to suppose that I am more curious then other people, but I confess I should like to see a person who is a fairy down to the waist, but who's legs are mortal," he said with a slight tilt of his red head.

Iolanthe rushed to his feet, as if hearing something far off in the distance. Sweet laughter bubbled forth joyfully and he turned to his Queen. "Nothing easier, for here he comes!" he said excitedly.

The sound of a merry flute sounded from off stage, marking the entrance of Strephon. The brown haired boy skipped merrily to his mother's side, a recorder like instrument in his mouth. It was a shame that he couldn't actually PLAY the thing, but hey that's what the orchestra was for right? He wore a loose tunic with a belt round his waist. A wrap of fur went across one shoulder to be tucked into the belt on the opposite side. All earth tones down to the tights he wore and the little pointy toed shoes. He beamed through messy hair that covered his chocolate colored eyes. He bowed deeply to his mother before spouting out his hellos.

Good morrow, good mother!

Good mother, good morrow!

By some means or other,

Pray banish your sorrow!

With joy beyond telling

My bosom is swelling,

So join in a measure

Expressive of pleasure,

For I'm to be married to-day--to-day--

Yes, I'm to be married to-day!

His mirth was contageous and the fairies were soon giggling and dancing along to his tune. Spinning in little rings around the groom and his mother happily, they echoed his words. "Yes, he's to be married to-day--to-day--Yes, he's to be married to-day!" they sang with high pitched girly giggles.

Taking hold of his son's hands, Iolanthe looked up at him excited at her son's announcement. "Then the Lord Chancellor has at last given his consent to your marriage with his beautiful ward, Phyllis?" he asked, huge blue eyes sparkling for all they were worth.

Poor Strephon turned away with a great dramatic sigh. "Not he, indeed. To all my tearful prayers he answers me, 'A shepard boi is not fit to marry anyone in my bower.' I stood in court, and there I sang him songs of the Koneko no Sumie, with my flute as accompaniment--in vain. At first he seemed amused, so did the Bar; but quickly wearying on my song and pipe, bade me get out. A little girl who very much so looked like someone I knew and had a undying desire for someone else I knew, led me, still singing, out onto the King's Cross. I'll go no more; I'll marry her to-day, and brave the upshot, be what it may!" He waved his fist in the air, with determination clearly written on his face. He suddenly stopped, as if suddenly realizing he'd had an audience since the moment he stepped on stage. He blinked for a moment, giving the audience the clear impression of staring. Which really seemed to piss Ceila off, but that wasn't in the script and neither was the staring so we're just going to run with it. "Who, my dear mother, are these lovely ladies?"

Iolanthe immediatly bounced from the worried look he'd gained from his son's previous speech, to his cheerful bouncing excitement. "Oh, Strephon! Rejoice with me, my Queen has pardoned me!" he exclaimed.

"Pardoned you, mother? This is good news indeed!" Strephon said. He hugged the smaller male tightly, rejoicing in the news quite nicely.

"And these ladies are my beloved sisters," Iolanthe said motioning to the other fairies. They all quickly preened and prettified themselves as only women can do. They waved and giggled at him, trying to look cute and not obviously flirting.

"Your sisters," he said looking them all over. "Then they are...my aunts!" The fairies giggled once more and proceeded to shower them with welcoming light hugs and pecks on the cheek. Its all right if its in the family after all.

The Queen puffed, no was paying attention to him again. He's the Queen there's something wrong with this! "A pleasant piece of news for your bride on her wedding day," he said stepping out from behind the giggling fairies.

Strephon waved his hands. "Hush!" He looked sheepish and scratched at the back of his head. "My bride knows nothing of my fairyhood. I dare not tell her, lest I frighten her. She thinks me mortal, and prefers me so." he said. Yeah the idea of spouting out his fairyhood seemed pretty ridiculous to the half mortal. Who the heck would believe him in the first place?

Leila wasn't impressed to say the least. She shook her head and said, "Your fairyhood doesn't seem to have done you any good."

"Much good!" Strephon spat out in his annoyment. His arms flailing with every point he made. "My dear aunt, its the curse of my existance. What's the use of being half a fairy? My body can creep through a keyhole, but what's the good of that when my legs are left kicking behind? My brain is a fairy brain, but from the waist downwards I'm a gibbering idiot. My upper half is immortal, but my lower half grows older every day, and some day or other must die of old age. What's to become of my upper half when I've buried my lower half I really don't know!" He slumped his shoulders dejectedly and put on a sad pout.

The faires around him chattered, "Oh the poor dear..."

The Queen hummed loudly. Tapping a long finger against his chin, he inspected the young man briefly. "I see your difficulty, but with a fairy brain you should seek an intellectual sphere of action. Let me see. I've a borough or two at my disposal. Would you like to go into Parliament?"

Iolanthe's eyes widened with pleasure. "A fairy member! That would be delightful!" Oh what an honor to be the mother of the first fairy member of parliament.

Strephon, however, did not appear as convinced. "I'm afraid I should do no good there--you see, down to the waist, I'm a as pure as any member of today's society, but my legs are as corrupt as any Takatori in the land, and, on a division, they'd be sure to take me down the wrong path. You see, they're two to one, which is a strong working majority."

"Maa, maa!" The Queen shook his red hair and patted Strephon lightly on the shoulder. "Don't let that distress you; you shall be placed in the Independent party, and your legs shall be in OUR-" He paused only for a moment, adding new meaning to the line with only a hint of a smirk. "-personal care."

Strephon twitched just slightly under that gaze. "Uhh...I see your Majesty does not do things by halves," he said in an attempt to hide the flush that was hitting his cheeks.

A crash could be heard off stage, causing everyone on the stage to blink and peer off stage. The only one who did not was the Queen, who paced around Strephon slowly and said, "No, you see we are fairies down to the feet." As he passed around behind Strephon, the brunette squeaked and jumped slightly. Having turned his face completely red, it seemed the Queen had done just as he wanted. The only thing saving him from the scene being ruined was thankfully the return of the music, pushing the scene forward whether anyone liked it or not.

Gathering his fairies around him, the Queen said his farewell. "Fare thee well, attractive stranger." His fairies echoed his sentiments, collecting themselves and returning to their proper flirting nature. More then one of them seemed relieved that they were leaving the stage now, and for more then the reason of their costumes now.

Shouldst thou be in doubt or danger,

Peril or perplexitee,

Call us, and we'll come to thee!

Offering his services if needed in the future, was his cue to leave. His fairies returned to their happy dance and made their way across the stage to take their leave as well.

Aye! Call us, and we'll come to thee!

Tripping hither, tripping thither,

Nobody knows why or whither;

We must now be taking wing To another fairy ring!

Following the Queen off the stage, Leila and Ceila were the first to escape backstage. Most likely they were both livid with not only their forced performance, but the Queen's...sidestepping from the proper script. The third secretary was right behind them. Fleta was about to leave as well when she noticed that bomb boy had decided to take a bit too long in his dance, prancing around not really paying attention that he was supposed to have left the stage by now. I could see the bead of sweat floating above her head, as she grabbed him by the collar and proceed to drag him off the stage.

Iolanthe and Strephon bid one another their own private goodbyes. In which they hugged, and Iolanthe whispered something to Strephon that I'm sure had something to do with just staying calm and not jumping to the Queen's bait. With a final wave goodbye, Strephon was left alone on the stage.