CHPTER ONE:
OF BALLS AND PARTY-CRASHERS
"Oh, Aragorn, I think it is a wonderful idea to have "A Fellowship and All Others Involved Reunion Ball"." Arwen said as he told what he had planned.
"Yes, I think so, too." He said, "And best of all, Celeborn thinks he will be able to keep Galadriel busy so she won't find out."
"Good idea, too. You don't want her coming here, especially after our last meeting." Arwen said with a shudder.
"The best part is, the ballroom is ready." Aragorn added.
"Do they know?" Arwen asked.
"No, it's a surprise." He answered.
"When is it?" Arwen asked.
"Whenever it is that they all arrive and get settled." Aragorn replied.
They were interrupted by a knock at the door.
"Your Majesty, all your guests have arrived." A servant called from other side of the door. He had learned the hard way not to barge in when the happy couple were not expecting visitors.
"Oh, crap, we're not ready." Aragorn yelped, "Keep them busy!" He ordered the servant.
"Yes, my lordship." The servant replied.
Meanwhile, downstairs.
"You'll find less cheer in a graveyard." Gimli said.
"No joking?" Gangalf asked, sarcastically.
"Goodness, this place is almost bigger than Thrainduil's palace." Frodo exclaimed as they entered the mainhall.
He looked over to see Legolus giving him a death-stare.
"I said, 'almost'." Frodo said, hastily.
"No need to be hasty." Treebeard replied.
"Oh, no. Who invited him?" Merry asked.
"I did, fore I am Tom, Tom Bombadil, Tom Bombadilo." Tom replied.
"Ug, I can see this is going to be a long visit." Samwise said.
The servant came down the stairs.
"Alright, is everyone still here?" he asked, getting out a list, "Frodo, Samwise, Pippin, Merry, Legolus, Gimli, Elrond, Hildir, Boromir, Faramir, Gandalf, Sarumon, Eomor, Eowyn, King Theadin, Wormtongue, Lurtz, Gollum, Tom Bombadil, Treebeard, Goldberry, and..." The servant looked over the list again, "...Jack Sparrow and company?"
"Captain Jack Sparrow, if you please." A man standing in the back said.
"I thought that only people from Middle-Earth could come." Frodo said.
"Don't look at me for answers, I found an invitation on my ship, The Black Pearl." Jack replied, proudly, expecting them to gasp at the sound its name. No such reaction came.
"Having pirates like us is bad luck for parties." Mr. Gibbs (who else?) said.
Jack walked to the front of the group of pirates and noticed Legolus.
"Pardon me, but you look somewhat familiar." Jack said, "Have I threatened you before?"
"I make it a point to avoid familiarity with pirates." Legolus replied.
"Now that sounds familiar. Wonder where I heard that." Jack said, thinking hard.
"Why do you move like Keith Richards?" Frodo asked.
"I don't know." Jack replied.
"What's with your hair?" Pippin asked, "It looks like you couldn't decide between rat-tales, braids, or just plain long hair."
"I'm starting a new look, the author of this tale has already seen people mimicking my look."
"Oh."
Just then, a loud trumpet sounded.
"The king approaches." The servant announced, loudly.
Then, Aragorn walked casually down the stares.
"I wish you idiots would stop doing that, it is really annoying." Aragorn said, quite annoyed.
"Its our job and you never fired us." The servant and trumpeter replied.
"Oh, that was my mistake. Well, your both fired." Aragorn said.
"Oh, pwease don't fire us." They begged, batting their eyelashes at him.
"EW! Don't do that! Guards sieve them." Aragorn yelled.
"Boy, is he strict." Elrond said.
"Now, getting down to business." Aragorn said, "As you all know, I have brought you here to make an to address you all."
"Yeah, but why me?" Jack asked.
"Because Arwen has something to say to you." Aragorn said, gesturing of his wife coming down the stairs.
"Oh, Arwen!" Jack said, excited, "Its so good to see you again, I..." he was interrupted by a good slap in the face.
"That's for not showing up in my closet back in Rivendell." She said.
"Closet?" Elrond and Aragorn asked.
"Well, I had to get action somehow with Aragorn away."
"Sorry, but I on the way, I ran into Eowyn, such a lovely woman."
"Which reminds me..." Eowyn said, as she walked up and slapped him, too.
"Boy, that side of Jack's face must be going numb." Anna Maria said.
"No, I feel all too much on this side." Jack replied, rubbing the side of his face that seems to be a woman's favorite target.
"And I used to think James Bond a problem with his exes." Gimly said.
"Anyway, getting down to business, I think we should all go into the ballroom." Aragorn said.
"Closet." Aragorn added, under his breath.
Meanwhile, back in Gondor's library.
"They'll all pay." Bilbo said, "But I must be careful not to make the same mistake as the Lady of Light, otherwise, I'll be taken hostage, too."
"Now, let's see...Oh, yes, here is clause for having a leader for the fans" Bilbo said, focusing on the spell.
He began chanting in the black speech. In the commoon tongue, he said:
"One fan to rule them all,
One fan to find them,
One fan to bring them all and into darkness bind them."
He finished his chant and waited.
They all wondered what the noble king was up to as he led them to the ballroom.
"Sire!" a voice called from behind the line.
"Yes." Aragorn said, turning to see who it was, "Beregond, good to see you."
"We found where Bilbo is. He is in the study, but he has locked himself in." Beregond said.
"Then let him stay in, he always does that, no matter where he is." Aragorn said.
"Yes, but it sounds like he has a crowd in there with him."
"So, he is always havig cocktail parties in the weirdest of places." Aragorn said.
"Most of them sound like they're women." Beregond.
"Oh, its bad luck to have a bunch of women in a library." Mr. Gibbs said.
"Did your mother drop you or something, because you seem to have something personal against women." Anna Maria said.
"No, but it was women who wound up accidentally getting Mr. Cotton's tongue cut out." Mr. Gibbs replied.
"Dead man tell no tales." Mr. Cotton's parrot said.
"I hate to say it, but I'm seeing the logic in it now." Eowyn said.
"Here we are." Aragorn said, stopping in front of the door to the ballroom.
"Why a ballroom, by the way?" Sarumon asked, suspiciously.
"May I give some advice?" Wormtongue asked.
"NO!" Gandalf and Theoden yelled in unison.
"Come on in?" Aragorn said, opening the double-doors wide open.
"Surprise!" a bunch of people inside the room.
"It's a Fellowship Reunon Ball!" Aragorn announced.
"Rum!" the pirates yelled upon seeing the beverages and stampeded over the people in front of them.
OF BALLS AND PARTY-CRASHERS
"Oh, Aragorn, I think it is a wonderful idea to have "A Fellowship and All Others Involved Reunion Ball"." Arwen said as he told what he had planned.
"Yes, I think so, too." He said, "And best of all, Celeborn thinks he will be able to keep Galadriel busy so she won't find out."
"Good idea, too. You don't want her coming here, especially after our last meeting." Arwen said with a shudder.
"The best part is, the ballroom is ready." Aragorn added.
"Do they know?" Arwen asked.
"No, it's a surprise." He answered.
"When is it?" Arwen asked.
"Whenever it is that they all arrive and get settled." Aragorn replied.
They were interrupted by a knock at the door.
"Your Majesty, all your guests have arrived." A servant called from other side of the door. He had learned the hard way not to barge in when the happy couple were not expecting visitors.
"Oh, crap, we're not ready." Aragorn yelped, "Keep them busy!" He ordered the servant.
"Yes, my lordship." The servant replied.
Meanwhile, downstairs.
"You'll find less cheer in a graveyard." Gimli said.
"No joking?" Gangalf asked, sarcastically.
"Goodness, this place is almost bigger than Thrainduil's palace." Frodo exclaimed as they entered the mainhall.
He looked over to see Legolus giving him a death-stare.
"I said, 'almost'." Frodo said, hastily.
"No need to be hasty." Treebeard replied.
"Oh, no. Who invited him?" Merry asked.
"I did, fore I am Tom, Tom Bombadil, Tom Bombadilo." Tom replied.
"Ug, I can see this is going to be a long visit." Samwise said.
The servant came down the stairs.
"Alright, is everyone still here?" he asked, getting out a list, "Frodo, Samwise, Pippin, Merry, Legolus, Gimli, Elrond, Hildir, Boromir, Faramir, Gandalf, Sarumon, Eomor, Eowyn, King Theadin, Wormtongue, Lurtz, Gollum, Tom Bombadil, Treebeard, Goldberry, and..." The servant looked over the list again, "...Jack Sparrow and company?"
"Captain Jack Sparrow, if you please." A man standing in the back said.
"I thought that only people from Middle-Earth could come." Frodo said.
"Don't look at me for answers, I found an invitation on my ship, The Black Pearl." Jack replied, proudly, expecting them to gasp at the sound its name. No such reaction came.
"Having pirates like us is bad luck for parties." Mr. Gibbs (who else?) said.
Jack walked to the front of the group of pirates and noticed Legolus.
"Pardon me, but you look somewhat familiar." Jack said, "Have I threatened you before?"
"I make it a point to avoid familiarity with pirates." Legolus replied.
"Now that sounds familiar. Wonder where I heard that." Jack said, thinking hard.
"Why do you move like Keith Richards?" Frodo asked.
"I don't know." Jack replied.
"What's with your hair?" Pippin asked, "It looks like you couldn't decide between rat-tales, braids, or just plain long hair."
"I'm starting a new look, the author of this tale has already seen people mimicking my look."
"Oh."
Just then, a loud trumpet sounded.
"The king approaches." The servant announced, loudly.
Then, Aragorn walked casually down the stares.
"I wish you idiots would stop doing that, it is really annoying." Aragorn said, quite annoyed.
"Its our job and you never fired us." The servant and trumpeter replied.
"Oh, that was my mistake. Well, your both fired." Aragorn said.
"Oh, pwease don't fire us." They begged, batting their eyelashes at him.
"EW! Don't do that! Guards sieve them." Aragorn yelled.
"Boy, is he strict." Elrond said.
"Now, getting down to business." Aragorn said, "As you all know, I have brought you here to make an to address you all."
"Yeah, but why me?" Jack asked.
"Because Arwen has something to say to you." Aragorn said, gesturing of his wife coming down the stairs.
"Oh, Arwen!" Jack said, excited, "Its so good to see you again, I..." he was interrupted by a good slap in the face.
"That's for not showing up in my closet back in Rivendell." She said.
"Closet?" Elrond and Aragorn asked.
"Well, I had to get action somehow with Aragorn away."
"Sorry, but I on the way, I ran into Eowyn, such a lovely woman."
"Which reminds me..." Eowyn said, as she walked up and slapped him, too.
"Boy, that side of Jack's face must be going numb." Anna Maria said.
"No, I feel all too much on this side." Jack replied, rubbing the side of his face that seems to be a woman's favorite target.
"And I used to think James Bond a problem with his exes." Gimly said.
"Anyway, getting down to business, I think we should all go into the ballroom." Aragorn said.
"Closet." Aragorn added, under his breath.
Meanwhile, back in Gondor's library.
"They'll all pay." Bilbo said, "But I must be careful not to make the same mistake as the Lady of Light, otherwise, I'll be taken hostage, too."
"Now, let's see...Oh, yes, here is clause for having a leader for the fans" Bilbo said, focusing on the spell.
He began chanting in the black speech. In the commoon tongue, he said:
"One fan to rule them all,
One fan to find them,
One fan to bring them all and into darkness bind them."
He finished his chant and waited.
They all wondered what the noble king was up to as he led them to the ballroom.
"Sire!" a voice called from behind the line.
"Yes." Aragorn said, turning to see who it was, "Beregond, good to see you."
"We found where Bilbo is. He is in the study, but he has locked himself in." Beregond said.
"Then let him stay in, he always does that, no matter where he is." Aragorn said.
"Yes, but it sounds like he has a crowd in there with him."
"So, he is always havig cocktail parties in the weirdest of places." Aragorn said.
"Most of them sound like they're women." Beregond.
"Oh, its bad luck to have a bunch of women in a library." Mr. Gibbs said.
"Did your mother drop you or something, because you seem to have something personal against women." Anna Maria said.
"No, but it was women who wound up accidentally getting Mr. Cotton's tongue cut out." Mr. Gibbs replied.
"Dead man tell no tales." Mr. Cotton's parrot said.
"I hate to say it, but I'm seeing the logic in it now." Eowyn said.
"Here we are." Aragorn said, stopping in front of the door to the ballroom.
"Why a ballroom, by the way?" Sarumon asked, suspiciously.
"May I give some advice?" Wormtongue asked.
"NO!" Gandalf and Theoden yelled in unison.
"Come on in?" Aragorn said, opening the double-doors wide open.
"Surprise!" a bunch of people inside the room.
"It's a Fellowship Reunon Ball!" Aragorn announced.
"Rum!" the pirates yelled upon seeing the beverages and stampeded over the people in front of them.