A/N: No, you're not hallucinating, this is really chapter six! I don't really feel guilty that it took me so long, because man... God knows that I've tried. This chapter must have been re-written about 5 or 6 times, and I'm not exaggerating. I'm still not completely satisfied with it, but, you know, people were waiting. So... that's it. Chapter six. I really need feedback for this one, people, because I'm extremely insecure about it. There is something wrong with it, and I can't figure out what on earth it is... Anyway, I'll stop rambling. =0)
Oh, and I still don't own anything!
*
Christmas break was over, and Professor McGonagall had decided to drown her students in homework on the first day. George had been moping around a lot (well, as much as a Weasley twin could mope, anyway...) lately, and, even though he wouldn't say it, Ron knew it was because of the approaching Quidditch match and the state of his Seeker. Ron had been a little worried about that, too. Professor Trelawney had predicted that Harry's turning into a canary would be fatal for him, even though he had returned to human form during the break. The weather was cold and bleak. Hermione had been snappish the whole day, and because of her, he was carrying forty pounds of books.
It was no wonder that his mood wasn't at its best.
Right now, for a change, he and Hermione were on their way to see Harry, which was really the highlight of an otherwise very bad day. Every since his arms and legs had returned, Harry's disposition was much better, and spending time in the hospital wing with him had actually been somewhat fun.
His back was starting to hurt with the weight of so many books. Hermione had decided that since Harry had his hands back, he had to do his homework, and, for some reason, Ron had agreed on carrying the Transfiguration books that McGonagall had recommended earlier that day. He really wished he hadn't.
"Are you sure you don't want any help?" asked Hermione.
Ron gave her a look. "I can handle a few books, Hermione," he said, even though it was a downright lie.
"Then stop panting," she said, crossing her arms.
"I'm not panting," he retorted, inwardly thanking God that they had finally arrived at the hospital wing.
Hermione opened her mouth and the door at the same time, but what they heard from inside the room made her close her mouth immediately. "... found it out yesterday, when I was going to sleep..."
Ron's grin almost split his face in two. "Is that Harry?" he whispered to Hermione.
Hermione listened for a bit longer, looking like she might start jumping up and down any second. "That is Harry! I didn't know he could already talk!"
Ron barely had time to be happy when a second voice destroyed the moment completely:
"And your voice came back from nowhere, Harry?"
Ron froze. "Is that Seamus?"
Hermione looked at him wearily. "Well, it sounds like him..."
Ron put the books on the floor. "Right. I'm out of here."
He had already started walking away when Hermione called after him, "Ron, stop!"
Ron stopped and turned to see her jogging to catch up with him. "You can go on without me."
"I don't want to go on without you," she said, almost to herself.
Ron raised his eyebrows. "Why not?"
"You're being ridiculous, Ron," she said, raising her voice.
"Am I? Hermione, if I go in there, it'll ruin both Seamus' and my day," he answered, his voice also louder.
"If you don't, it'll ruin Harry's!"
Hermione had left the books in the middle of the hallway when she went after him, Ron suddenly noticed. He was wondering why that mattered so much when her voice, a lot softer than before, interrupted his thoughts.
"He's just got his voice back, he'll be wanting to talk to you."
"All right," said Ron, looking away from the pile of books and at her.
"All right?" repeated Hermione, surprised.
"Yeah, ok, I'll go in there," he said. Hermione's lips broke into a disturbingly perfect smile at his words.
As they entered the hospital wing, though, Ron started to doubt his decision. Harry was the only one who looked happy to see him; Seamus' voice trailed off as soon as he saw Ron, and Lavender (who was also there – to add to the fun, apparently - on the bed next to Harry's) was looking from him to Seamus, her mouth in an 'O' shape.
He really had to stop doing things for Hermione.
*
"Mackled Malaclaw."
Hermione entered the common room, wanting nothing more than to snuggle with Crookshanks and shut out the world.
That afternoon had been the first time she had witnessed Ron and Seamus together in an enclosed space in the last three months, and it had been horrible. She had thought that there would be insults thrown and general nastiness, that Ron would have to be kept from punching Seamus and vice-versa. That Hermione would have been able to take. But Seamus had tried to ignore Ron, but had ended up not succeeding and giving him lots of dirty looks, and Ron... Ron had just looked frustrated and subdued. Hermione sighed. He had looked like he wanted to confront Seamus, but knew he couldn't. Telling Seamus that it wasn't Ron's fault would be telling him that Lavender had been lying, and Ron would never do that. Hermione knew he would never break a promise, even if it had been to Lavender.
"Why didn't Seamus come back from the meeting with you, Hermione?" said Lavender, from a corner of the room, where she was sitting with Parvati.
Lavender had still been in the hospital wing when Seamus and Hermione had gone to the Prefects' meeting, and of course she would want to know about Seamus. Lavender always wanted to know about Seamus. Hermione closed her eyes briefly. Lavender shouldn't be so eager to see him, because when they met, it wouldn't be pretty. And Hermione didn't want to be there to watch it, even though it was all her fault.
In fact, it was exactly because it was all her fault.
"Well," said Hermione, turning to face Lavender, "we met Dean along the way and Seamus stopped to say something to him, but he should be here any time now, how's your ankle?"
Lavender apparently didn't notice Hermione's rush to change the subject. She smiled slightly and looked down at her leg. "It's fine, thanks. Madam Pomfrey fixed it fairly quickly."
Hermione forced herself to smile back. She was already plotting ways to get out of there when Parvati spoke up:
"So, Hermione, I heard that Harry's talking."
"He is," said Hermione. "He found out yesterday."
"Yeah, Lavender told me," said Parvati as Lavender nodded. "Do you think he'll be able to play against Hufflepuff?"
"I hope so."
"But Harry said that Madam Pomfrey wants him to stay there for another couple of days, and the game is three days away... Even if he does get out in time, he won't be able to practice, will he?" said Lavender.
"Well, I asked George about that the other day. He just shrugged and said that after being a canary for so long, Harry will be able to wing it just fine."
Parvati and Lavender laughed, and then Parvati said, still snickering, "Oh, what a horrible thing to say. Poor Harry."
Hermione nodded, although she didn't quite agree. Even though she would never admit it to anyone, she thought it was kind of sweet that George had so much faith in Harry's ability that he'd put him in the field without training. A little inconsequential, perhaps, but it was George.
The portrait hole swung open. Seamus entered the common room. When Hermione had left him, he had looked taken aback, maybe a little upset. Now he was visibly very angry. Lavender saw him and jumped to her feet, running over to Seamus.
He ignored her. Lavender grabbed his arm when he was about to get to the staircase.
"Aren't you going to say hi?" she said playfully, but her face fell as soon as she saw the look on his.
"Hi," he said. Hermione winced at his tone of voice.
Lavender gave him a weird look. "What happened?"
"Nothing," said Seamus, releasing his arm from her grip abruptly and turning to leave. Lavender grabbed his arm again before he could.
"Where are you going?"
"To my dormitory." He snapped his arm away again.
"And you're not going to ask how my ankle is," stated Lavender, frowning slightly.
"How is your ankle, Lavender?" said Seamus roughly.
"So, I reckon we're the only ones who understand what's going on," said a voice on Hermione's left.
She turned to see Dean and blinked. She hadn't even realized that he had entered the room with Seamus. "You know, we should stop watching," she said.
"Why? Seamus is about to tell her!" he said, pouting almost imperceptibly. "They're on the edge of breaking up."
Hermione bit her lip. "He's really going to…?"
Dean nodded glumly. "From what he told me, I'd be pretty surprised if he didn't."
"What did he tell you?" asked Hermione, wincing as Seamus' voice rang a few feet away, "I don't know, Lavender. Why don't you tell me what's wrong?"
"Everything," said Dean, with a worried glance in his best friend's direction. "Look, Hermione, I know you feel responsible... Well, you are a little bit responsible, but..."
"Let's just go sit by Parvati, ok?" interrupted Hermione. She couldn't even stand her own conscience reminding her of her responsibility; she didn't need Dean to do it, too.
Dean nodded. Parvati was watching Seamus and Lavender with such attention (as was everyone in the room, Hermione noticed) that she didn't even notice Dean and Hermione approach her.
Dean cleared his throat. Parvati didn't react.
"Parvati?"
Nothing.
He patted her on the shoulder, "Parvati!"
Parvati jumped. "Dean! Hi! Weren't you meeting Lisa?"
"I was going to, but we didn't really make plans to meet today."
"Uh-huh," said Parvati, her eyes back on Seamus and Lavender.
"So I just came back with Seamus, he's going to need a bit of cheering up soon."
"Uh-huh."
"And I think I'll ask Dumbledore to marry me, and then dance naked in the middle of the Great Hall." Dean sat down next to her.
"Uh-huh."
"Are you even listening to a word I'm saying, Parvati?" said Dean.
Parvati glanced at him quickly. "Of course I am! You said something about Dumbledore, and Seamus... and dancing naked."
Lavender shouted, "It was nothing like that, Seamus!" and Parvati's attention returned to the fighting couple immediately.
Dean rolled his eyes. "Parvati, you really--"
"Sshh!! You've just made me miss what Seamus said! He's being a real prat to her," said Parvati.
Hermione sat on the other side of Parvati. "Do you really think it's ok to listen to this?"
"They wouldn't be having a fight in the middle of the common room if they didn't want people to listen."
Hermione dropped the subject. It was her experience that, sometimes, public fights just... happened. She didn't want to argue with Parvati though, especially since she would have to mention her disagreements with Ron. She could grant it that sometimes it was hard not to listen to those fights-
"Well, Lavender, I don't care!"
Especially when the people involved started yelling.
"I only did that because I needed you, Seamus. I need you!" Well, Lavender had always been melodramatic.
Seamus replied with a look that caused Lavender to break down crying and run up the stairs. He watched after her for a second, then waved at the people who were watching and excused himself out of the circle everyone had formed around him.
"I can't believe Seamus would do that, that's so mean," said Parvati, still looking after Seamus.
"Mean? Parvati, were you even listening to their fight?" said Dean.
Hermione kept quiet. She was starting to feel sick.
Parvati turned on her seat to face Dean. "Yes, I was listening... Doesn't Seamus understand she only did it because she loves him? Although I don't see why she does, he just proved what a prat he really is..."
"He's your friend," interrupted Dean.
Parvati ignored him. "I mean, do you think that's a good reason to break up with someone?"
"Well, I..." said Dean, clearly afraid to be truthful.
"Because it isn't!" said Parvati hotly. "Why would you break up with someone who did everything they could to be with you? 'Oh, look, I'm sorry, I can't be with you anymore, you care about me too much'... What's the deal with that? There's nothing wrong with fighting for what you want and believing that – what?" she asked upon seeing his cheeky grin.
"It was your idea, wasn't it?" said Dean.
Parvati looked ruffled. "Hey, I just wanted to help Lavender, she was devastated at the time... I told her that being depressed wouldn't bring Seamus back and that if she really wanted him, she'd have to do something about it. It worked, didn't it? At least until Seamus found out... How did he find out, anyway?"
Hermione wished Dean's gaze hadn't immediately gone in her direction. He tried to pretend he hadn't been so obvious afterwards, but Parvati had already cottoned on.
"Ah," she said, with a look at Hermione that wasn't quite definable.
Hermione looked away as Dean gave her a guilty smile.
The portrait hole swung open once again. Hermione looked up and met Ron's eyes, doubly happy to see him. He gave her a feeble smile as she beckoned him over.
"Er- Parvati, Hermione doesn't want Ron to know about it, so if you could..." said Dean quietly.
Hermione took a deep breath. It was amazing how Dean could tell a secret even when he was trying to be helpful. She just hoped no one would press the subject further.
"You know, Hermione, I should tell him. That way maybe you'd think twice before going around spreading other people's secrets," whispered Parvati sharply, eyes flashing, as Ron approached them. "Hi Ron. I have to go check on Lavender, bye. Bye, Dean," she said briskly, standing up and leaving before Ron could say anything.
"What's up with her?" said Ron, with a bewildered look at Parvati's retreating back.
Dean looked at Hermione. Hermione looked at Dean. Dean looked up at Ron after a few seconds. "Er... you know..." he looked around and said in a conspiratorial tone, his voice barely above a whisper, "she's having that monthly problem..."
"Oh," mouthed Ron, his eyes widening slightly. Hermione held the urge to laugh despite the situation.
"What took you so long at the Owlery?" Dean asked Ron.
Ron's eyes narrowed.
"You were in the Owlery?" asked Hermione.
"I saw him in here a little while ago, he got an owl," said Dean.
"Yeah, I was in the Owlery," said Ron.
"Who sent you a letter?"
"Mum," said Ron, and his tone of voice had such a finality in it that Hermione didn't ask more questions. "So, why did Parvati have to check on Lavender?"
Hermione looked at Dean. Dean looked at Hermione. Hermione shrugged and looked at Ron. "Well, Lavender is probably upset..."
*
"Well, Lavender is probably upset... Seamus just broke up with her," said Hermione after exchanging looks with Dean.
"He did? Why?" said Ron.
Dean and Hermione looked at each other again. That was starting to become extremely annoying. When did Hermione start sharing secrets with Dean, anyway?
"Er- I'm not sure," said Dean finally. "I wasn't listening."
"Liar," came a voice beside them. "Everyone in the blasted common room was listening."
Seamus. Ron clenched his jaw.
Dean turned around and smiled sheepishly at his friend. "Well, I missed a bit at the middle..."
Seamus rolled his eyes and everyone fell silent.
"Uh," said Seamus after a few moments, causing everyone to look at him. He shifted his weight from a foot to the other. "Ron. I suppose I owe you an apology."
Ron blinked. "What?" He didn't know what was more surprising: the apology or the use of his first name.
"For the way I've treated you, these last few months."
Ron was still trying to decide how to react to that when Hermione stood up. "Maybe I should..." she said, motioning toward the stairs.
Seamus looked at her and shrugged. "If you want to."
Hermione stuck around a little longer, looking at Dean as if waiting for him to decide to leave the two alone as well. He didn't. She rolled her eyes, waved goodbye and left.
"Er," said Seamus, making Ron look away from Hermione and at him. "So you never dated Lavender."
Ron shook his head.
"I reckon you didn't cheat on her with Hannah Abbot either, then."
"What?" Ron almost lost his balance. He barely knew Hannah Abbot. "Lavender told you that?"
"Oh, yeah," said Seamus, throwing himself on the couch by Dean's side. "Described in vivid details how she saw you two, all the while crying hysterically. I didn't even suspect it was all just a big, fat lie." He started rubbing his temples. "Do you have any idea how stupid I feel right now?"
Ron sat next to Seamus, knowing that he should probably say something. The problem was, he didn't have the slightest clue as to what. Dean spared him, though, when he patted Seamus' shoulder and said, "Seamus, what a coincidence, I just remembered... you know Lisa's Ravenclaw friend? The one you think looks like a Veela? Lisa wants me to find a bloke for her. Should I tell her you're free and looking?"
"Stop trying to set me up, Dean," snapped Seamus. "That last girl was a royal pain in the arse."
"All right, I see you're not in the best of moods," said Dean, his voice heavy with fake-cheerfulness. "But you know what they say, it takes one to forget one." Seamus didn't answer. Dean gave him a worried look and looked up at Ron. "So... Ron, you seem to be into the smart type. What about a Ravenclaw, huh?" said Dean.
"What do you mean, I seem to be into the smart type?" hissed Ron.
"Hey, calm down!" said Dean, raising his hands mockingly, as Parvati joined them.
"Hi again, Dean, Ron," she said, sitting on an armchair next to them. "Hello, you git," she added pointedly to Seamus. Dean rolled his eyes.
"Good afternoon to you too," said Seamus, who was apparently too disturbed to care about Parvati's sudden hostility.
"Good afternoon?" retorted Parvati. "My afternoon is far from good, thanks to you. My best friend is crying so much that she'll be dehydrated before the end of the day."
"And you left her alone?" asked Seamus, failing to sound nonchalant.
"Not that I should answer your questions, but no, I didn't. She asked me to leave because she wanted to talk to Hermione."
"And you left?" said Dean, a note of panic in his voice. "You know that Lavender'll eat Hermione alive, Parvati!"
"Why would Lavender eat Hermione alive?" asked Ron, at the same time Seamus shouted, "Dean!" and Parvati mumbled, "Hope she does."
Dean looked from Seamus to Ron, and said, the note of panic in his voice a lot more noticeable, "Er... well..."
"Why would Lavender eat Hermione alive, Dean?" repeated Ron slowly, narrowing his eyes.
"Yeah, Dean, why won't you tell Ron why Lavender would want to do such a thing?" said Parvati, in a delighted tone of voice.
Seamus glared at her.
*
"Maybe I should..." said Hermione, motioning toward the stairs. Seamus and Ron needed some privacy.
Seamus shrugged. "If you want to."
Hermione waited for Dean to leave too, but he didn't make a sign of moving, so she gave up and went up the stairs. She hesitated as her hand reached the doorknob of her dormitory. She could hear crying inside. She swallowed guiltily and pushed the door open.
Parvati looked up as soon as she entered and patted Lavender, who was crying on her shoulder. "Look who's decided to grace us with her presence, Lav," she whispered, glaring at Hermione.
Lavender raised her head and looked up at Hermione with a look that left no doubt about it: she knew. "Parvati, could you leave us alone for a while?"
Parvati stood up. "Look, Lav, if you need anything..."
"I know," said Lavender, wiping her tears and smiling slightly at her. "Thanks, Parv."
Parvati nodded and Hermione had to step out of her way as she left.
"I trusted you, Hermione," said Lavender, her voice choked.
Hermione crossed her arm tightly across her chest. "Lavender, look, I'm sorry. I really am."
"Sorry?" said Lavender, looking up at her sharply. She sounded like an angry magpie. "You're sorry??"
"You have every right to be angry," said Hermione. "I should never have told him."
"Then why did you?"
"I'm not sure."
"You're not sure?" screeched Lavender, her voice extremely high. "You destroyed my life, and you're not sure of why you did it?"
"That stupid hatred Seamus had for Ron has always bothered me, I think you know that," said Hermione gently. She was going into dangerous territory, and she could ruin everything if she lost her reason.
"It bothered me too," said Lavender, blowing her nose.
Hermione somehow didn't think it bothered Lavender all that much, but she kept quiet about that. Lavender was already too furious at her as it was. "And ever since you told me it was a set-up, it's been even more disturbing. I couldn't understand why Seamus hated Ron so much if he had just 'dated' you." She took a deep breath and forced herself to continue. "I asked Seamus about it, when we were coming back to the common room. He said you didn't want him telling everyone about it, but if I swore not to tell anybody..." she trailed off.
"Go on," said Lavender softly, looking intently at the handkerchief she was twisting in her hand.
"He... he started telling me all those horrible things about Ron... Things that Ron didn't do and would obviously never--" She sighed. "I just couldn't take it, I'm sorry."
Lavender took some time to answer. "I was going to tell him soon, you know."
"When?" said Hermione, her voice more accusing than planned.
Lavender's eyes narrowed. "Soon," she repeated, almost spitting the word out.
The silence was broken after what seemed like forever by a knock on the door.
"Parvati, can't you wait a little more?" shouted Lavender.
"It's not Parvati," answered a voice Hermione knew all too well. She squeezed her eyes shut, praying to be mistaken. "It's Ron. Look, is- is Hermione there?"
"Yeah, but we're in the middle of something here." Lavender wiped her already dry eyes and opened the door just enough to stick her head out. "She's told Seamus about that thing that Seamus wasn't supposed to know about."
Hermione just wanted to die. Parvati must have told Lavender that Hermione didn't want Ron to know. Was that some kind of childish revenge? She groaned. She didn't want to have to explain herself to him.
"Yeah, I... I know," replied Ron. "Can I talk to her?"
"Why?"
"Just let me talk to her."
"What do you want to talk to her about?"
"She's my friend!" said Ron, and Hermione knew he was very close to losing his temper. "What's the problem, can't I have a word with my friend?"
Lavender looked inside the room and at Hermione. Hermione gestured and mouthed, "I don't want to talk to him." Lavender appraised her for a moment and then opened the door wide.
"You're right, Ron. Come in."
Ron looked inside the room, caught Hermione's look and then looked back at Lavender. "I can't go in there, that's the girls' dormitory."
"Oh, Hermione won't report you, will you, Hermione?"
Hermione glared at her.
"Oh, yes, Parvati told me you didn't want Ron to know about you being the one who told Seamus… I'm so sorry that he found out, Hermione," said Lavender, loud enough for Ron to hear, in a tone of voice that conveyed that she wasn't sorry at all. Hermione didn't blame her. "Good luck," she said, stepping out of the room and giving Ron a prod that made him step inside reluctantly. She closed the door behind her.
Hermione watched as Ron looked around the room. The determination that he had showed to Lavender seemed to have faltered now that he was inside the dormitory; he looked a little intimidated by the general girly appearance that Lavender and Parvati had made sure to give the room.
"So, you found out," she whispered.
"Yeah, well... Dean let it slip," he said, still looking intently at Parvati's nail polish collection.
"I should have known," said Hermione, and found Ron looking at her with a slight frown as she looked up at him. "What?"
"Why is it so terrible that Dean told me?"
Hermione looked away from him. It was terrible because she didn't want to be having this very conversation. It was terrible because she didn't want to have to justify to him why she told Seamus. And it was especially terrible because didn't want to admit to Ron that she had actually asked Lavender about him.
"It's not terrible..." said Hermione slowly.
"Then why did you want to keep it from me?"
"Because you obviously didn't want me to know that the reason you were snogging Lavender had nothing to do with liking her in any way," said Hermione, only realizing how much it really bothered her after the words left her mouth. They made it seem more real, somehow.
"I'm not proud of that, you know," said Ron awkwardly, looking quite red.
"Oh, then why did you agree to it?"
"I didn't agree, I just... stopped objecting," said Ron lamely.
"Oh, really? And what made you 'stop objecting'? Lavender's Divination skills, or the fact that her tongue was in your mouth?" snapped Hermione. It was amazing how, in the process of arguing with Ron, she was somehow hurting herself much more than she was him.
"Well, I... um…" stuttered Ron, going redder than Hermione thought was humanly possible.
"Yes, Ron?" said Hermione acidly.
"There's... there's nothing wrong with helping a friend."
Hermione squeezed her eyes shut, a pang in her chest. She had made the connection a long time ago, but actually hearing him put herself on the same level as Lavender hurt even more. After all, he was her friend too, and the kiss in the bathroom... He was trying to 'help', wasn't he? She shook her head lightly, which hopefully Ron would think was a gesture of disapproval.
"Friend, Ron? When did Lavender become your friend? Last time I checked, you didn't even like her."
"Funny, last time I checked, you seemed to think she was the love of my life," snapped Ron, without missing a beat.
"That's because I didn't know you were lying to me."
"I never lied to you, Hermione." The intensity in his voice would have made her smile if she hadn't just been compared to Lavender.
"You omitted the truth." When he didn't give any sign of denying it, she continued, "Why didn't you tell Harry and me about it?"
"Harry knows," he said, deadpan.
"I see," said Hermione. "So you didn't tell me."
There was silence. Ron looked down, and when Hermione had assumed that he wasn't going to answer, he muttered, "Would you have cared?"
Hermione bit her lip. If only he knew how much she did care. She took a shaky breath before non-answering, "What makes you think I wouldn't?"
"I don't know," he said, still examining his shoes.
"Right," said Hermione dryly.
"Oh, come on, Hermione, I just didn't have the opportunity to tell you," said Ron, looking up at her with an annoyed look.
"Well, when you really want to, you create the opportunity."
"Bit rich coming from you," retorted Ron, sudden bitterness in his voice.
"What? What are you on about?" she said, her eyes narrowing.
"Oh, you don't know?" said Ron, in the same tone of voice he used in their fights about Viktor.
"Am I supposed to?"
"I didn't see you 'creating the opportunity' to tell your friends about Krum ending things with you."
Hermione rolled her eyes. So it was the I'm-talking-about-Krum tone, after all. Honestly, she wasn't even dating him anymore. What would she have to do, go to Bulgaria and murder Viktor herself, for Ron to get over it?
"That has nothing to do with anything, Ron. And I did tell you about Viktor breaking up with me," she said, her voice faltering at the end of the sentence, as memories what happened after that came to her mind.
"Yeah, after you couldn't stand me nagging you anymore," said Ron, and his gaze met Hermione's as he raised his eyes. He looked away quickly and ran a hand through his hair, his ears pink. Hermione knew, at that very moment, that she wasn't the only one with a good memory.
"Maybe I didn't want you to know," she said softly.
"Why not?" he asked, looking at her again.
"Because I knew you would keep on repeating, 'I was right! I was right!' all the time."
"I didn't do that!" said Ron defensively.
"That's because I was crying my eyes out!" said Hermione, wondering what happened to her ability to keep that afternoon in the girls' bathroom out of conversations with Ron. She had got pretty good at it in the past few weeks.
"You know," said Ron conversationally, after a few moments. "Now that I think of it, I was right, wasn't I?"
Hermione rolled her eyes. "No, you weren't."
"Yes I was! Krum's a git!"
Hermione willed herself to not get angry as she answered, as civilly as possible, "Viktor is not a git, Ron."
"What? He cheated on you, Hermione! That's unforgivable!" said Ron, already getting worked up.
"He actually sent me a really sweet letter telling me about Ingrid."
"Hermione, come on! Anyone who makes a girl cry is a git!"
Hermione's resolution to stay calm went to space. "You're such a hypocrite!"
"I'm a hypocrite?" said Ron, looking a little baffled that he was suddenly the one being accused.
"Are you even aware of the fact that you've made me cry countless times?" she snapped.
"Well, I- that's... that's completely different. It's not like when Krum does it. I mean, I haven't – I haven't broken your heart or anything."
"Oh, that's what you think," murmured Hermione under her breath.
Ron's eyes widened. "What?"
Hermione felt her heart almost jump out of her ribcage. That did not just happen. She immediately diverted her eyes to the window. "Nothing."
"What did you say?"
"You heard me, Ron," said Hermione, and her voice shook a bit even though she did her best to control it.
"No, really, repeat it," said Ron's voice, sounding as stubborn as ever.
"You know what I said, Ron, stop being annoying." Her level of exasperation was starting to match that of her embarrassment.
"If you're so sure that I heard it properly, what's the harm in repeating it?" said Ron, raising his voice.
"Oh, Ron, for crying out loud!" she yelled, jumping to her feet, her frustration almost unbearable. "Could you please let it go and forget about it? Do you really want me to repeat to your face that yes, you have broken my heart? And you know why? Because I'm falling for you so hard that I can barely see straight. Is that what you want to hear? Well, there you have it. I'm in love with you. I'm. In. Love. With. You. Now tell me, how exactly did that make things easier for any of us?"
The weight of her words hung heavily in the air, and that was when Hermione realized the magnitude of her anger. Ron was apparently too shocked to speak, his skin pale under his freckles.
Hermione collapsed on the windowsill and buried her face in her knees. The silence was excruciating, but she really didn't want Ron to say anything. She knew she had scared him out of his wits. She had scared herself, too.
"Bloody hell," muttered Ron after a few seconds, in a small and perplexed voice.
"Hey, are you finished?" said Lavender from outside. They both jumped.
"Yeah," said Hermione loudly. The difficulty to get the word out made it sound like an 'eah'.
Lavender opened the door and stepped inside. "So..." she said carefully, looking from Ron to Hermione.
Hermione cleared her throat. "Er... Ron was- Ron was just going."
Ron gave her an unsure look.
Hermione darted her eyes to the door and mouthed, "Please."
"Yeah," he said awkwardly. "I was- I was just going, because I have to... uh... I have to go."
Hermione watched after him as he left. Lavender was looking at her strangely.
"You were out there the whole time?" said Hermione.
Lavender sat on her bed. "You didn't expect me to go downstairs to meet Seamus, did you?"
Hermione bit her lip. "Er... What exactly did you hear?"
"Well..." said Lavender, looking down sheepishly. "You two can be awfully loud."
Hermione would have felt at least somewhat annoyed, but Ron's departure had left her feeling numb. So she just left the dormitory. She didn't want to think about what she had done, and she definitely didn't want to discuss it with Lavender.
*
Hermione glanced at the clock on top of her bedside table. Three seventeen in the morning. She fluffed her pillow violently, wondering if Lavender and Parvati could hear her and deciding that she didn't care.
The full impact of the whole day had finally hit her. Especially the way Ron had blatantly avoided her for the rest of the evening. She couldn't see how they would ever get past that.
She could feel the tears starting to sting the corners of her eyes.
"Are you even aware of the fact that you've made me cry countless times?"
She gripped her pillow. No. She wouldn't cry. Not over him. Not again.
He had been shocked, and he had had every right to be. Really, what had she been expecting? That he'd sweep her off her feet and ride her off into the sunset? Things didn't work that way. Especially not when Ron was involved.
And her eyes were wet. Stupid, stupid Ron.
Hermione reminded herself again that she didn't want him to return her feelings. Ok, fine, maybe she did, but she didn't want them to actually do anything about it, didn't want him to sweep her off her feet. She buried her face on the pillow to stifle a sob. Right, so maybe she did.
But the rational part of her knew it wouldn't do any good. It couldn't. It would only wreck everything up. That's what feelings between friends did; they just ruined friendships right when they were going perfectly well.
And it didn't help that she had said – well, yelled – everything she was feeling right to Ron's face.
"Because I'm falling for you so hard I can barely see straight."
She cringed with embarrassment, even now. What exactly had possessed her to confess that to him? Why did she always lose her temper in fights with him and end up doing stupid things?
It was entirely his fault for being so infuriatingly clueless. Was he waiting for her to spell it out for him? Well, she had.
Hermione tried to stop her tears, which only made them come down harder. She would have to face Ron tomorrow, and she would hold her head high. Even if he gave her those pitying looks he usually saved for Neville. It didn't matter. She wouldn't lose him because of a stupid outburst. She couldn't.
She felt someone open the curtains of her four-poster, and looked up to see Lavender's puffy red eyes staring down at her. Lavender looked awful. Hermione was sure she herself didn't look much better.
"I see you can't sleep either," her roommate said.
Hermione sat up and tried to wipe her tears away hurriedly, although Lavender had obviously already noticed them.
"Er – can I?" asked Lavender, motioning for the bed.
"I thought you hated me," said Hermione, making room for her.
"I don't hate you," said Lavender, with a lifeless chuckle, sitting down next to her. "I was just disappointed in you. Very disappointed in you. But, well, I can definitely relate to... to doing something stupid out of -" her voice broke, "- out of love for a boy. Oh, here I go again," she whispered, as she started sobbing.
Hermione patted her back awkwardly, not really knowing what else to do.
"You think I'm an awful person, don't you?" asked Lavender softly, wiping her tears with the sleeve of her nightgown.
"No, of course I don't," said Hermione, although she wasn't sure how much of that was just to make Lavender feel better.
"Rough day, huh?" said a voice from the other side of the room.
They both looked up at Parvati, who was climbing out of her bed groggily.
"Look, Hermione," she said, as she reached Hermione's bed, rubbing her eyes. "If Lav can forgive you, I suppose I--" she was cut off by a yawn, "I suppose I can forgive you too."
Hermione nodded. "Thanks. Did we wake you up?"
Parvati smiled. "Oh, don't worry about it, it's my job." She sat down between them and put her right arm around Lavender.
Lavender leaned on her friend's shoulder, crying even harder.
"Sshh... Calm down, it's ok..." Parvati whispered, "It's ok, Lav... Seamus will come to his senses... calm down..."
Hermione watched the two of them, marveling at how Lavender really was calming down. Parvati patted Lavender on the shoulder for a bit and then looked up at Hermione.
"Oh, and Herm?" she said.
"Call me Hermione, please."
"Right – Hermione. Ron'll come to his senses too, you know."
Hermione was about to tell Parvati that she didn't want Ron to come to his senses, when it hit her. "Lavender! You told her?"
Lavender lifted her head from Parvati's shoulder to look at her. "Of course I told her. I tell her everything."
Parvati patted her friend's shoulder and then smiled at Hermione. "Yeah, but you don't have to worry, I can keep a secret," she said, and then added as an afterthought, "I've only told Padma."
"Padma?"
"Yeah, well, she's my twin. It's not as if I can keep things from her. But you don't have to worry. I think she's only told Lisa."
"What? A girl called Lisa knows about it?" said Hermione, starting to feel sick.
"Lisa's Padma's best friend," said Parvati, "She's great, I don't think you have anything to worry ab-"
"Wait," said Lavender suddenly, "isn't Lisa Dean's girlfriend?"
Parvati turned to her, her eyes lighting up at the opportunity to gossip. "Well, I wouldn't use the term 'girlfriend', Padma told me that they're not officially... Oh." Her face fell. "I see what you mean."
Lavender nodded gravely and gave Hermione an 'Oh, dear' look. "Well... let's just hope Lisa can really keep a secret, because if Dean finds out..."
She didn't need to finish the sentence.