Beyond Yesterday

It snowed on the first day of December. Big, soft pure white flakes. Melissa and I were walking home from school when it started.

"Hey it's snowing!" She said excitedly, opening a palm to catch a flake. "The first flakes of the year!"

I laughed, and reached out to catch the flakes. A particularly big one fell into my hand. It felt cold, but not the unpleasant kind of coldness. I tried to blow it away, but my warm breath melted the snowflake before it even came close to the edge of my palm.

"It's not a fallen eyelash, Dana!" Melissa said, laughing. "You don't get to make a wish by blowing it away!"

"None of my 'eyelash wishes' ever came true, anyway," I replied, looking up at the darkening sky. "It looks like a blizzard is on its way."

Melissa tossed her head, her auburn hair floating in the chilly December wind. "Who cares? Hey," she suddenly said, her eyes gleaming with enthusiasm. "Let's catch some flakes with our mouth! It'll be fun!"

"We haven't done that since we were kids," I protested.

"Yeah? Well guess what? We'll be kids again today to celebrate the first snowflakes of the year!" She grabbed my shoulder and started shaking me. "Come on, what do you say? It's gonna be fun!"

"Okay, okay! Just stop shaking me, I'm starting to feel dizzy."

A wide grin appeared on my sister's face. "That's the effect I was hoping to get."

***

"Dana, would you mind answer the phone dear?" Mom called. I got up from the dinning room table reluctantly, and went to the living room to answer the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey Dana, it's Ellie," Ellie's familiar, enthusiastic voice rang in my ear just a bit too loud, and I held the receiver away for a moment before I put it next to my ears. "Are you there?" She asked, traces of doubt evident in her voice now. I laughed.

"Your voice was too loud, that's all."

"Oops, sorry about that! Anyway," I could hear the sound of paper being shuffled on the other end of the phone, "Do you want to go Christmas shopping with me this afternoon?"

"Just a moment," I said, and placing a hand over the receiver, I hollered into the kitchen, "Mom, can I go shopping with my friend after lunch?"

"Sure Dana, of course you can go," Mom called back. I released my hand from the receiver and replied into it.

"I'd love to go with you, Ellie. When do you want to pick me up?"

"Hmm. I'd say two is good. Is that okay for you?"

"Sure."

"Okay then, see you at two!"

I placed the phone down and went to the dinning room and picked up my book. Dad was setting the table, while Mom called out instructions from the kitchen.

"Need any help?" I asked Dad, setting my book aside. He looked up at me and smiled.

"No, but I'm sure your mother will need that. Run along now."

I entered the kitchen and watched Mom stirring something in a pot. It smelled like vegetable soup. "Need any help, Mom?"

"Yes Dana. Now, would you get the soup bowls for me? They are all in the cupboard. By the way," she glanced at me sideways, "Was that Anna? How does she like the high school?"

"That wasn't her," I replied, stacking up the soup bowls and brought them to the kitchen counter. "Although I have a feeling that she's doing just fine; she's got a senior boyfriend and she's extremely proud of that."

"Hmm. It seems like you two are just leading different lives now," she observed, turning off the stove. "Then, who was it?"

"It was Ellie."

"Is she another person that Bill doesn't like much so you try to avoid mentioning her name?"

"Mom, I think Bill dislikes every person that has any previous contact with Mulder, and Ellie is in contact with him on daily basis."

"Well, Bill might be a bit extreme and biased when it comes to social groups, but don't forget, he's still your brother and you need to have some level of respect for him. Now, tell me about this Ellie; is she Fox's girlfriend?"

"They are next door neighbors and really good friends," I answered her question with full honesty while helping her pouring the soup into bowls.

"So you're not jealous this time?"

"Mom!" I was startled and came close to upsetting one of the bowls, which was half-full of steaming vegetable soup. "I was never jealous of anything or anyone!"

"Uh-huh, or so you say so."

I shook my head and carried the bowls to the dining room on a tray.

Really, how annoying could parents be? Don't they ever get tired?

***

"Why do people always leave their shopping until the last moment?" Ellie grumbled as we shoved through the crowd.

The shopping center was packed. Most of the crowd seemed to know exactly what they wanted as they scuttled in and out of stores, with a long list dangling in their hands or hastily stuffed in their handbags.

"Don't forget the fact that we're here too," I said, trying to squeeze myself between two women in order to keep up with Ellie. They glared at me and I glared back. They turned their head away, and I heard one of them saying, "What's with today's kids? No more respects whatsoever."

Ellie grabbed my arm. "Hey, try to keep up with me. I'm not very patient with this crowd right now and all I want to do is get out of here."

"Sure. Fine. Whatever." I replied, and she laughed so hard and had to stop. A few people nearly bumped into her and shot her weird looks. They all turned away when I glared at them. Funny. I didn't know that my glare was that nasty. Maybe it would work on Bill too.

"You sound so funny when you say those words in a row," Ellie said as her hysterical laughter finally died down. "How many people are left on your shopping list, anyway?"

"Just Mulder," I replied, glancing at my short list. "It's rather hard to decide since I still don't really know him."

"Get him a book or something. I'm nowhere near original or creative when it comes to Mulder either. He doesn't really care about presents, anyway."

She got up and we started walking again, but then I saw Anna and another boy walking in our direction. I quickly turned around and Ellie followed, although she seemed to be confused.

"What's the matter?"

"Just saw someone that I don't want to see at the moment."

"Oh. Hey you know what?" she suddenly pointed at a store on our right, "I would have forgotten to go in there if you didn't turn this way!"

I followed her finger and saw the store she was pointing at. "What do you want with an arts and crafts store at this time of the year?"

"Ran out of yarn last night," she said, dragging me toward the store.

"You know how to knit?"

"Hey, there's more about me underneath the books. You just have to dig through them or just grab and throw them into an open fireplace. Then you'll find the real me… quite talented in something not so academic."

"Yeah, like knitting. What were you knitting, anyway?"

"A scarf for my youngest brother. There's a thing that's really neat about kids: when they're little they'll be more than gladly to receive anything you made by hand as long as you accept what they made for you. But after they're all grown up, they shrink away when you try to give handmade stuff to them." She cocked her head to one side as she browsed through the colorful yarns. "That's one of the things that make Mulder different from other seniors. He's always like a kid in some ways. Last year I gave him a dreamcatcher I made in studio art class, and I swear he had jumped at least three feet into the air or kissed me. Now what color was I using…"

I smiled and followed her down the aisle, her words still echoing in my ears. Kids always like handmade stuff… Mulder being just like a kid, in some ways…

"…One thing bad about my brother is that he refuses to have anything pink on him, and he says that red is just a really dark shade of pink…" Ellie was saying, but I wasn't listening at all because something clicked in my brain.

"Dana?" Ellie turned around when she realized that I wasn't following her. She walked over to me, and then waved a hand in front of my eyes. "You okay? Are you even in there?"

"Ellie you're brilliant!" I threw my arms around her and gave her a bear hug. Something very unusual for me to do, mind you.

"I'm very glad to be of assistance in any way," she said, clearly confused. "But I do have to remind you that we're in a store… and you're strangling me here."

***

I knocked on Mulder's door and stepped back, this time brushing snowflakes off my hair.

The door opened, and Mulder appeared in the doorway. "Hey," he said, smiling at me. "I was thinking about going over to your place to give you your present."

"Good thing I came first."

"Yeah, don't want to run into your brother Bill on a day that's supposed to be peaceful." He laughed, and small puffs of vapor floated into the December morning air. "Would you like to come in?"

"No thanks; I'm just here to give you your present," I replied, holding up the small package and handed it to him.

"Oh, for me? That's too kind of you."

"Don't say that!"

"Just kidding. You'd better come in, anyway. It must be freezing outside."

I stepped inside obediently.

Mulder was staring at me eagerly. "Can I open it?"

"Sure, just don't keep your hope up."

He carefully removed the layer of wrapping paper, and I made another note to myself: that's another difference between Mulder and every other guy I knew: they usually just tear the wrapping paper away, no matter how good it looked, or how much time a person might have spent on it.

"Wow!" He was holding up the scarf I made, his eyes widened to the size of saucers. "You made this for me?"

"Yeah. It's that bad, huh?"

"No, it's great. Thanks for a present so… unique."

"Thanks." We smiled at each other; then he said, "Oh, I almost forgot. I'd better go get your present."

"Okay," he dashed up the stairs, and then came back with a beautifully wrapped small package in one hand.

"I never knew you are that good at wrapping," I said.

"No I can't wrap presents at all… actually I asked my mom to wrap this for me because I don't want to ruin it."

"Oh," he handed me the packet, and it's my turn to stare at him expectantly. "Can I open it? Can I?"

"Sure, go ahead. But I really have to warn you, don't get your hope up."

I peeled off the wrapping as gentle as I could. Mulder watched my fingers moved across the package. "It's not like you're going to use the wrapping paper again, you know."

"Hey, you were just as careful as I am right now. Besides, how do you know that I'm not going to use the paper again?"

I removed the wrapping paper, folded it, and stuffed it into my coat pocket. And then I look at my present. And then I looked up at Mulder. He seemed to be a little embarrassed.

"I'm not the most creative person when it comes to presents, especially for girls, just to let you know. But every girl that I'm familiar with keep a journal, so I thought…" his voice trailed off and the sentence hung in the air, unfinished.

"Well, as a matter of fact, I do keep one," I said brightly; I wasn't expect anything from him, and I was happy that he had included me on his list. "But it's more like 'weekly entry,'" I added. "I'm usually too lazy on weekdays."

"Well, that's understandable." We smiled at each other again, and then he said, "Thanks for the scarf."

"And thanks for the journal," I said as he opened the door. And then something fell on my head. "Ouch!" I said, turning around and tried to find what just hit me. "What was that?"

He quickly bent down and picked up the green object. "Oh no… it's my parent's mistletoe… I told them that they could hang it somewhere else, maybe their bedroom door… but they don't listen." He reached up and hung it on the doorframe. "There. Hope they are happy now."

I looked up at the mistletoe. "Hey, do you know that story about the mistletoe?"

"Yeah, you kiss a person and you get stuck with him or her for the rest of your life."

I giggled. "You're so not romantic!"

"Well, there's no need to be romantic. Not yet, anyway."

Silence followed his words as we looked at each other. Then he leaned forward, as if he was going to kiss me. I held my breath.

But he stood straight again and supported himself with a hand on the doorframe. "Sorry, lost balance again."

"Good thing you didn't fall, because it's going to be painful for me," I commented, actually surprised how well I hid my disappointment.

"Yeah. Well, merry Christmas to you, Dana."

"And merry Christmas to you too, Mulder."

He opened the door for me and I stepped out into the rare winter sunshine.

"Good weather for a snowball fight," Mulder said. "You feeling like exercising right now?"

"No, but maybe next time."

"Oh well. Don't slip on the way home. The pavement's icy."

"Thanks for the warning."

He smiled and closed the door. And then the door of the next house flew open and Ellie hopped out, wearing a thick sweater and black jeans. "So? What did he say? Did he like it? Did he give you anything?"

"You've been listening the whole time?" I asked, amazed that she could have heard us.

"Nah. Well, just the part about great weather and snowball fight invitation. Now fill me in. I'm dying of curiosity."

"There's really nothing to be curious about. Really."

"Oh," she looked disappointed. "I've always thought that he liked you, though. I can tell. It's kind of obvious in a few ways that are easily overlooked."

I could feel myself blushing. "You're kidding, right?"

"No way!" she exclaimed, knocking my head lightly. "I never joke about anything that involves Mulder. It's sad enough that nobody takes the disappearance of his sister seriously."

"For a moment I thought he's going to kiss me," I admitted, and disappointment started to rush into my voice. "But he said that he just lost his balance."

"Yeah right. Mulder losing his balance? It's like he saying that aliens are just a bunch of crap that people invented to scare little kids into their beds."

I could tell that she was trying to make me feel better, but my mood wasn't improving. Not much, anyway.

"But Dana," Ellie continued. "Do you like Mulder? I mean, not just friends, but… you know, in… another way?"

"I don't know. I really don't know at this moment."

"Ah, the confusion of first crush," she was nodding, as if just figured something out.

"But when he leaned down…" I said slowly, "I hoped that he'd kiss me."

"There you go," she beamed at me, her eyes bright with anticipation. "You like him in that… different way."

"And you think that he likes me in that… different way," I quoted her, and she laughed.

The door opened again and a puzzled Mulder stared at us. "What are you two doing on my lawn?"

"Mulder, it's not a lawn," Ellie said, pointing at the snow. "There's no grass, see?"

"Fine then. What are you two doing in my front yard?"

"Gossips," Ellie replied, and barked a wonderful, hearty laugh. "Girl stuff. No boys allowed. Sorry."

"Okay." He went back into the house and closed the door. We laughed again.

"Give him some times," Ellie said, patting my back. "I bet it's his first time that he's had an urge of kissing a girl."

"Under the mistletoe," I added.

"Oooh, does that mean that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you?"

"Stuck with me for the rest of his life, if we put it his way."

She stared at me, and then looked at the house accusingly. "That's so not romantic!"

I shrugged. "According to the subject of our conversation, he has no need to being romantic at the moment."

"Stubborn," she muttered under her breath, and then said, "Hey, I did give you my present before the break, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah, stuffed into my locker with a hand-drawn card, right?"

"Yep. And you gave me your present the day before… so we're even there. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to you too, Ellie."

***

That night I took out the journal Mulder gave me and take a long, good look at it. I didn't think I'd ever write in it; it's perfect the way it was, blank and untouched.

I placed it back into the drawer in my desk, and thought about the moment when he leaned down.

Maybe Ellie was right; maybe we're really going to get somewhere before June, before he graduated and went somewhere else for college.

I got up from my bed and went over to the window; I pulled open the curtain, and looked at the dark velvet sky that belonged only to winter.

There was no cloud; bright stars scattered across the night sky, like diamonds decorating a black silk dress. Melissa came into the room and joined me.

"Beautiful night," she commented. "Hey look--a shooting star!"

I caught a glimpse of the streak of light, and I quickly closed my eyes.

When I opened my eyes, Melissa was looking at me, smiling. "What wish did you make?"

"I'm not going to tell," I said, climbing into my bed. "It won't come true if I tell you now."

***

December's done… just seven more chapters to go…

Uh, anybody knows a date in January that's… special? Important? Can't use New Year's Day because it's too close to Christmas.

And thanks to Diana for the suggestion… fine, I made it sound totally fluffy and corny and stuffs like that, but that's the way I am and nobody made a better suggestion…

Oh, and to the real Ellie (I based Mulder's next door neighbor on her), enjoy your summer in London! And then enjoy your school year in Texas! I'll miss you… (sniff)

I'm NOT going to tell you what Scully wished for, by the way… it won't come true if I did (wink).