Ranma ½
IN:
The man with the moustache
By: Geordie, the insane overbearing maniacal freak of nature
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Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or their respective shows, any further discomfort is therefore your own problem. The only thing I do own is:
Ithax Enterprises And Ithax Warhammer (who probably won't be appearing in the fic anyway so never mind) (Ithax Warhammer is a copyright of Ithax Enterprises Charitable Foundation and Drive-Thru Rhinoplasty Clinic. Unauthorized use of Ithax Enterprises logos, documents, weapon technologies, vehicles, mecha, clothing, prophylactics, hairnets, fishing rods or wild dogs will be punished by swift and merciless pointing-and-laughing-while-poking-with- sticks. Respect the aw-thor-it-tay of Ithax enterprises! Fnord. Shantih, shantih, shantih. Spacong.)
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And now time for your moment of Zen for this chapter.
I AM THE MAN WHO BRINGS THE DVD PLAYER TO THE ANIME CLUB! ALL BOW DOWN TO THE MIGHT OF GEORDIE THE DVD BOY!!!
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And now its time to meet the author, weather you want to or not.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This is the first time I have continued anything I have written. The only exception maybe was for a few grade-6 language stories that made no sense at all except for a small Harry Potter parody entitled Harry Potter and the big frog. that's my story and I'm sticking with it. Thus the stage for me writing fan fiction was set and here I am many years later finally getting to that fanfiction set, due to traffic, and dusting everything in my brain off and getting to business.. I wonder how long I can hold my breath for..... (Gasping sounds are heard)..... (A dull thud is heard followed by a woman screaming and strangely enough also followed by a small bat, in a jar of formaldehyde beside my keyboard). (Some days later) Ah back from the hospital again, good thing Canada has free medical or I wouldn't have a computer. Anyway Id just like to thank the one person who flamed me for they're kind roasting of me with a stupid question and id like to answer it for them, hem hem. OF CORUSE HE HAS THE MOUSTASHE ITS CALLED THE MAN WITH THE MOUSTASHE HE HAS A MOUSTASHE THAT'S THE ONLY REASON I CALLED THIS STORY THE MAN WITH THE MOUSTASH BECAUSE OF THE WEIRD MORPH OF COOKING INTO TRABEC OK, GET IT???!!!!???!!!???!!!!!! No? Well I think I know how to settle this. A race around the world, meet me at the town of Barrie, Ontario, Canada at 12:00 noon tomorrow. you don't want to? Well I win!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Thank you. NOW on with THE fic!!!
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Chapter 2:
The explanation Or The very moronic chapter
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
(Once again speaking like an old radio announcer) Good evening and welcome to the outside of Akane's room where just moments before we watched this majestic highly predatory beast drag Ranma in his female form into her own den! Why this kind of behavior has only been seen in extremely OOC fanfiction. it makes you think doesn't it? This is very exciting ladies and gentlemen, lets see if we can hear any of the proceedings inside.
"What are you doing Akane? Wait, no I need those stop it! What are you doing?!" asked Ranma, soon after the unmistakable sound of someone rummaging around in the top drawer of a dresser is heard followed by a soft buzzing, "What's that, a massager thingy? I didn't know that you had one. wait where are you going with that? Akane what. no not there, no I don't want to do this any ohhhh, Ohhhh, OHHHHH!!"
Well. let us join the party of people who are crowded around a small monitor in the backyard of the Tendo household that is propped up on a stump.
"Saotome do you really think we should be doing this? After all it is your son." Said a concerned Soun, "Tendo I want to know exactly what your daughter is doing to my son" Said Genma
As this conversation was going on Nabiki was tuning into the surveillance camera into Akane's room to display on the monitor. As she sets it up we see the pair on Akane's bed stark naked doing something so OOC, and hentai, that my monitor exploded. several days later with a new monitor we see Akane looking straight at the camera, with Ranma still in the background. Akane pulled something, off screen and the screen went static.
"Damn, I knew I shouldn't have plugged it in," Mumbled an irate Nabiki. "Shows over cant get a visual, though you still have to pay up for the service."
Meanwhile outside of Akane's room
Well that's not moral. But let us join the company of someone who does not think of. well he doesn't think of very much at all (no offence to those who think this guys cool) Ryoga.
In my basement
"Where am I?" Asked Ryoga "Who are you, why are you playing the cello, listening to anime theme music, writing psychotic fanfiction and drinking Mello Yellow by the gallon?"
"I'm the author, deal" Said Ithax Warhammer the great, air to the throne of Essex, defeater of the Romulans, and generally really cool guy who is completely the opposite of me. "Now go and please the reviewers by going back into your universe and showing up at the Tendo household."
"Huh?" Asked Ryoga "What the hell are you talking about?"
"Here Ryoga *whistles like dog trainer*" Said Ithax, as he held up steak in front of recently replaced computer monitor "See the steak? Get the steak!"
"Oh no, I am not a dog! No matter how doggish my teeth look like!" Exclaimed an angry and vicious looking Ryoga "I shall no longer be treated like an inferior just because of my abnormally large canine teeth. but that steak does look very juicy, and tasty, and and.. oh god I want it!!!!"
Ithax threw the steak into computer screen with a smile, which had turned into a black swirling portal. Ryoga jumped after it and the portal closed.
"There. wait a second. where exactly did I send him? Asked Ithax "Oh well, now where was I on that Cello/Anime soundtrack/Fanfic/soft drink?"
OOOOOOOOOOOkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. As our god-like author is guzzling Mello Yellow by the crate we return to the Ranma ½ universe, namely the koi pond in the Tendo household.
A black portal opened up right in the air above the Koi pond, out of it fell a very juicy steak followed by a screaming windswept Ryoga. Both of which fell into the Koi pond, seconds later a small black pig was seen thrashing about in the water. Trying to support the combined weight of both his body and the steak he so foolishly chased into the black hole.
Thought a struggling P-Chan
Squealing in delight, the happy pig joyfully awaited the time he would be able to eat his prize, forgetting completely who put him in this situation and the concern of where he was.
Seconds later he was on the rocks of the Koi pond eating his steak with squeals of delight, when suddenly a hand reached for him and picked him up.
"What were you doing in the Koi pond you stupid pig?" asked an irate Genma Soatome "Hmm what's this, a juicy steak at the side of the pond? Shouldn't you be in my stomach you delicious looking piece of meat?"
Saying this Genma dumped the steak in his mouth, dropped the pig roughly on the ground, then walked away chewing as he went.
P-Chan squealed his head off I SHALL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!
As he thought this, P-Chan realized something. THE BASTARD MUST DIE!!!
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Well that's it for this one, I hope you enjoy my sweat tears and blood that I poured on this one. no literally I poured all three on this thing when I printed it up see? Well no you can't see it through the monitor so. yeah. hope you enjoy it. yeah. R/R. CANADA RULES. well it seemed to be the thing to say at the time. I know.. I just. yes I just. I said I know. yeah. uh huh. no I haven't but I will. yes I have. no I don't want to. anything else would you like the Fanfic moved a little to the left or. no. *Phone hanging up* sorry had to answer that. Now where were we. oh yes CANADA RULES!!!!!!!!!!! R/R!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!! LMFAO!!!!!!!! ROTFL!!!!!!! ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!!! BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE YOU!!! __________ Ithax Warhammer __________
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or their respective shows, any further discomfort is therefore your own problem. The only thing I do own is:
Ithax Enterprises And Ithax Warhammer (who probably won't be appearing in the fic anyway so never mind) (Ithax Warhammer is a copyright of Ithax Enterprises Charitable Foundation and Drive-Thru Rhinoplasty Clinic. Unauthorized use of Ithax Enterprises logos, documents, weapon technologies, vehicles, mecha, clothing, prophylactics, hairnets, fishing rods or wild dogs will be punished by swift and merciless pointing-and-laughing-while-poking-with- sticks. Respect the aw-thor-it-tay of Ithax enterprises! Fnord. Shantih, shantih, shantih. Spacong.)
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
And now time for your moment of Zen for this chapter.
I AM THE MAN WHO BRINGS THE DVD PLAYER TO THE ANIME CLUB! ALL BOW DOWN TO THE MIGHT OF GEORDIE THE DVD BOY!!!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
And now its time to meet the author, weather you want to or not.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This is the first time I have continued anything I have written. The only exception maybe was for a few grade-6 language stories that made no sense at all except for a small Harry Potter parody entitled Harry Potter and the big frog. that's my story and I'm sticking with it. Thus the stage for me writing fan fiction was set and here I am many years later finally getting to that fanfiction set, due to traffic, and dusting everything in my brain off and getting to business.. I wonder how long I can hold my breath for..... (Gasping sounds are heard)..... (A dull thud is heard followed by a woman screaming and strangely enough also followed by a small bat, in a jar of formaldehyde beside my keyboard). (Some days later) Ah back from the hospital again, good thing Canada has free medical or I wouldn't have a computer. Anyway Id just like to thank the one person who flamed me for they're kind roasting of me with a stupid question and id like to answer it for them, hem hem. OF CORUSE HE HAS THE MOUSTASHE ITS CALLED THE MAN WITH THE MOUSTASHE HE HAS A MOUSTASHE THAT'S THE ONLY REASON I CALLED THIS STORY THE MAN WITH THE MOUSTASH BECAUSE OF THE WEIRD MORPH OF COOKING INTO TRABEC OK, GET IT???!!!!???!!!???!!!!!! No? Well I think I know how to settle this. A race around the world, meet me at the town of Barrie, Ontario, Canada at 12:00 noon tomorrow. you don't want to? Well I win!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Thank you. NOW on with THE fic!!!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Chapter 2:
The explanation Or The very moronic chapter
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
(Once again speaking like an old radio announcer) Good evening and welcome to the outside of Akane's room where just moments before we watched this majestic highly predatory beast drag Ranma in his female form into her own den! Why this kind of behavior has only been seen in extremely OOC fanfiction. it makes you think doesn't it? This is very exciting ladies and gentlemen, lets see if we can hear any of the proceedings inside.
"What are you doing Akane? Wait, no I need those stop it! What are you doing?!" asked Ranma, soon after the unmistakable sound of someone rummaging around in the top drawer of a dresser is heard followed by a soft buzzing, "What's that, a massager thingy? I didn't know that you had one. wait where are you going with that? Akane what. no not there, no I don't want to do this any ohhhh, Ohhhh, OHHHHH!!"
Well. let us join the party of people who are crowded around a small monitor in the backyard of the Tendo household that is propped up on a stump.
"Saotome do you really think we should be doing this? After all it is your son." Said a concerned Soun, "Tendo I want to know exactly what your daughter is doing to my son" Said Genma
As this conversation was going on Nabiki was tuning into the surveillance camera into Akane's room to display on the monitor. As she sets it up we see the pair on Akane's bed stark naked doing something so OOC, and hentai, that my monitor exploded. several days later with a new monitor we see Akane looking straight at the camera, with Ranma still in the background. Akane pulled something, off screen and the screen went static.
"Damn, I knew I shouldn't have plugged it in," Mumbled an irate Nabiki. "Shows over cant get a visual, though you still have to pay up for the service."
Meanwhile outside of Akane's room
Well that's not moral. But let us join the company of someone who does not think of. well he doesn't think of very much at all (no offence to those who think this guys cool) Ryoga.
In my basement
"Where am I?" Asked Ryoga "Who are you, why are you playing the cello, listening to anime theme music, writing psychotic fanfiction and drinking Mello Yellow by the gallon?"
"I'm the author, deal" Said Ithax Warhammer the great, air to the throne of Essex, defeater of the Romulans, and generally really cool guy who is completely the opposite of me. "Now go and please the reviewers by going back into your universe and showing up at the Tendo household."
"Huh?" Asked Ryoga "What the hell are you talking about?"
"Here Ryoga *whistles like dog trainer*" Said Ithax, as he held up steak in front of recently replaced computer monitor "See the steak? Get the steak!"
"Oh no, I am not a dog! No matter how doggish my teeth look like!" Exclaimed an angry and vicious looking Ryoga "I shall no longer be treated like an inferior just because of my abnormally large canine teeth. but that steak does look very juicy, and tasty, and and.. oh god I want it!!!!"
Ithax threw the steak into computer screen with a smile, which had turned into a black swirling portal. Ryoga jumped after it and the portal closed.
"There. wait a second. where exactly did I send him? Asked Ithax "Oh well, now where was I on that Cello/Anime soundtrack/Fanfic/soft drink?"
OOOOOOOOOOOkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. As our god-like author is guzzling Mello Yellow by the crate we return to the Ranma ½ universe, namely the koi pond in the Tendo household.
A black portal opened up right in the air above the Koi pond, out of it fell a very juicy steak followed by a screaming windswept Ryoga. Both of which fell into the Koi pond, seconds later a small black pig was seen thrashing about in the water. Trying to support the combined weight of both his body and the steak he so foolishly chased into the black hole.
Thought a struggling P-Chan
Squealing in delight, the happy pig joyfully awaited the time he would be able to eat his prize, forgetting completely who put him in this situation and the concern of where he was.
Seconds later he was on the rocks of the Koi pond eating his steak with squeals of delight, when suddenly a hand reached for him and picked him up.
"What were you doing in the Koi pond you stupid pig?" asked an irate Genma Soatome "Hmm what's this, a juicy steak at the side of the pond? Shouldn't you be in my stomach you delicious looking piece of meat?"
Saying this Genma dumped the steak in his mouth, dropped the pig roughly on the ground, then walked away chewing as he went.
P-Chan squealed his head off I SHALL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!
As he thought this, P-Chan realized something. THE BASTARD MUST DIE!!!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Well that's it for this one, I hope you enjoy my sweat tears and blood that I poured on this one. no literally I poured all three on this thing when I printed it up see? Well no you can't see it through the monitor so. yeah. hope you enjoy it. yeah. R/R. CANADA RULES. well it seemed to be the thing to say at the time. I know.. I just. yes I just. I said I know. yeah. uh huh. no I haven't but I will. yes I have. no I don't want to. anything else would you like the Fanfic moved a little to the left or. no. *Phone hanging up* sorry had to answer that. Now where were we. oh yes CANADA RULES!!!!!!!!!!! R/R!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!! LMFAO!!!!!!!! ROTFL!!!!!!! ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!!! BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE YOU!!! __________ Ithax Warhammer __________