Deflating
Chapter Eight: A Question of Interest
***
She was having the sodding dream again.
But it kept switching, kept going back and forth from That Day to more current events, like a preview of an upcoming movie; garbled, choppy scenes that didn't make any sense out of context.
It started out with Lily screaming at James to leave Severus Snape alone, and asking what Snape had done to him to make him act like this: "It's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean."
Quickly, a different scene flashed in front of her: James shuffling shyly on the train to give her a belated Christmas present.
Back to That Day: "Ah, Evans don't make me hex you."
"You don't want enemies. No one does."
"You said my name."
"I'd settle for a kiss instead."
"Go on…go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."
"I'm making an effort. Can't you?"
"Just…please, don't cry."
Lily shot awake feeling very confused and a little angry, James's face stuck on her mind, that perpetually obnoxious smirk firmly in place on his face. Why do I keep having this dream?
Someone needed to explain it to her in plain English. Her mother was talking in riddles, James wasn't having any part of it, and she herself was most definitely experiencing a bit of a block on the subject.
Sighing, Lily stepped out of bed, vowing to herself not to think on it anymore today--and to stay wide awake in History of Magic.
***
James flipped through his Stalking-Lily-Evans journal lazily without looking at it, glancing around the History of Magic classroom with his eyes half-shut. His gaze, predictably, landed on Little Miss Subject herself. She seemed determined to keep awake, he noted with a smirk, and was sitting up board-straight, hands clasped on the desk in front of her.
Lily was one row over, two seats in front of him--easy throwing distance for passing a note.
Quickly, James tore a piece of paper form the Stalking-Lily-Evans journal, careful not to distract his surrounding friends, who were all asleep. Now he only had to think of something clever and witty to write down…
Nothing of the sort came to mind, so James wrote, 'Enjoying your books?', folded up the paper, and tossed it to her.
James wasn't a Quidditch player just because he looked nice on a broom (well, that may have been part of the reason…but James certainly hoped it wasn't the only reason); his aim was impeccable and the paper landed cleanly on her desk. He watched her as she unfolded the parchment and read it. Lily shook her head and scribbled a reply, then levitated the paper back to him with her wand:
Why, were you hoping to borrow them when I finished? Tsk, tsk, James, they're mine now--your rare show of thoughtfulness can't be taken back.
James smiled in spite of himself and wrote back:
Nah, I've already read them all. Which part are you on?
He flicked it back to her, and when she read, her surprise was apparent even from behind her. Lily, still shaking her head, replied:
And what did you hope to get out of reading them? How to really court a girl?
From what I read, there was no courting whatsoever. The characters met and immediately started shagging. You're right, maybe I am doing this thing the wrong way…
You are a pretentious git.
You know, you keep telling me that.
Because it's true.
Aren't I getting better, though?
You've stopped hexing people in the hallways for no reason. That's a vast improvement.
Lily, dear, you have no idea how much I miss that. But what about where you're concerned?
What about where I'm concerned?
Stop stalling. Admit you love me.
James, darling, I cannot stand you.
***
"What the hell are you doing?" Remus demanded incredulously at lunch as he read the notes James and Lily were passing in the previous class. "Are you trying to delete everything you've done?"
"No, that wasn't my main intention," James said, looking completely unconcerned with Remus's frustration. Actually, he looked like he was rather enjoying it.
"So what was your main intention? To make a total ass of yourself?"
"That's just one of those fringe benefits. No, I was just trying to have a little fun with her. In case you haven't noticed, I haven't been doing much of that lately. Get a sense of humor, Moony, it'll do you some good."
Remus stared at his friend. "James," he said seriously, "are you losing interest?"
"No!" James responded defensively. "Of course not. I haven't gotten her yet."
"Well," Sirius began, interjecting his two cents for the first time since this conversation started, "I hope you're not losing interest, because it appears as though Lily's finally gaining some."
James's attention immediately snapped to Sirius. "What?"
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Pay attention to her, Prongs. She's flirting with you…subtly, yeah, but she's flirting with you all the same."
***
Lily was seriously getting tired of dreaming about every single solitary encounter she'd ever had with James. Seriously. The next morning when she'd see him, he would grate on her nerves before he even came within a ten mile radius of her. She stayed up as late as she could every night, hoping that if she got tired enough, she wouldn't dream anything.
Obviously, Lily thought as she sat in bed, reading one of James's romance novels (God, everything reminded her of him now), I'm supposed to be drawing something from these stupid dreams…but the only thing I've gathered is that James Potter is taking away my sanity…
Lily tried to keep reading, but theories kept popping into her mind, none of them making any sense whatsoever: Maybe if I write down everything he says in the dream, then rearrange the letters, it'll spell out some huge secret….Maybe James was trying to infiltrate her mind….
Eventually, much to her chagrin, she drifted into sleep…
"I'm not asking you to marry me, I'm just asking you to go on first name terms with me."
"Hey, how have your dreams been going?"
"What are you talking about, Lily? There's plenty of room in here."
"I'd NEVER call you a--a you-know-what!"
"From what I read, there was no courting whatsoever. The characters met and immediately started shagging. You're right, maybe I am doing this thing the wrong way…"
"Stop stalling. Admit you love me."
And it was then that Lily shot awake.
"Oh, my God," she muttered quietly. "Oh, my God."
She'd figured out what the stupid dreams were about all right.
And she was so upset she wanted to kill him.
It was all his fault. Yes, that made more sense. Everything was James Potter's fault.
***
A/N: Ah…so she knows…yeah, I know it's not exactly clear right now--that was intentional, I promise, because Lily is not thinking clearly…oh, look, there I go, talking about characters as if they actually are acting out what I'm typing. It's 1:15 in the morning; I got four hours of sleep last night, so this author's note doesn't really make sense to anyone at all, least of all to me. Ignore me and review, because I love them so much ;)
See you in 9!