Title: Captive Audience

Author: Whiskey Meteor

Rating: PG-13, mild bondage warning

Summary: Andrew's POV. This is in response to a challenge posted by Catherine at I Need A Parrot, asking for a Xandrew bondage fic with no actual sex.

Disclaimer: Everything BtVS belongs to Joss Whedon.

Notes: No real spoilers or preferences as to which season this should take place in. Just suspend your disbelief, pick a time when you think Andrew and Xander were *so* doing it, and nestle this somewhere in your made up memories.

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"Trust me, it'll be fun."

Fun, Xander says. But he's holding a pair of handcuffs, swinging them back and forth trying to look sexy but not quite pulling it off, and frankly, *fun* isn't the first thing that comes to mind. I mean, bondage? I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this. I'm sitting in bed, and he's standing by the foot, staring at me and smiling because I'm not saying anything. Now he's raised one of his eyebrows and he's swinging the handcuffs back and forth again... And, okay, it is kind of sexy- but only because it's Xander and I'm in his bed, *naked*, and all he's wearing is a pair of boxers that I know he's just dying to take off. But he's got this look in his eyes- like he's trying to use a Jedi mind-trick on me- so obviously I'm a little hesitant. I cock my head to the side curiously, not because I'm curious so much as I know that Xander loves my neck and I'm hoping that I can distract him from this whole bondage kick... "I don't know..." I whine.

Xander grins wickedly and leans over the end of the bed just far enough to reach under the covers and grab my feet. I giggle, and he pulls me down the length of the bed until I'm close enough for him to lean in kiss me. I close my eyes happily and wait for the gentle press of Xander's lips on mine- something that I don't think will ever stop giving me goose bumps- but it doesn't come. I open my eyes again and pout, because I know Xander hates to leave a pout unkissed. "That's not gonna work," he says slyly.

Damn, he's onto my clever ruse. I try to look innocent and cock my head to the side again just in case, "What's not gonna work?"

Xander reaches up, runs a finger from my shoulder to my jaw, and then flicks my bottom lip with his finger, "You're trying to distract me," he says.

Damn.

"Am not," I lie, hoping that Xander's not psychic- like Dr. X. He's still staring at me, and he hasn't let go of the handcuffs yet, so I think that maybe it's time to try another diversionary tactic.

I reach out and pull him down on top of me. He's momentarily stunned by my stealthy grab and drag, so I take advantage of it and roll us over so that I'm on top of him. I lose the blanket that's covering me in the process, so now I'm straddling Xander and I think he just remembered that I was naked. He grins and as he pulls me down into that kiss I wanted, I congratulate myself on the success of my diversion. Then Xander's lips are on mine, and mmm... There's something very magical about Xander's kisses- soft full lips and a wet inquisitive tongue and I feel like I'm spinning around. I get a rush of anticipation as he pulls back ever so slightly because I know exactly what he's gonna do next... I whimper. I can't help it, he's got my bottom lip between his teeth and he's sucking on it, and the bed is soft beneath me and Xander's hard on top of me- Wait a minute. My eyes spring open. How did Xander get on top of me? Xander meets my confused stare and grins wickedly, letting my lip scrape past his teeth and pop out of his grasp, which FYI, kinda hurts. "Ow," I whine and narrow my eyes at him.

Xander looks down at me triumphantly, "You think you're the only one who can be distracting?" he taunts. I frown and wonder if he's finally managed to pull a Jedi mind trick on me, but then he reaches down and runs a hand slowly up my thigh, and my thoughts slip away.

And now he's kissing me again, almost roughly with his tongue running along the roof of my mouth, but his hand is parked just under my hip and it's driving me crazy with anticipation. I reach down and put my hand on his, in the hopes of coaxing him to- Aw crap. Xander's pulled back now, grinning at me, and he's caught my wrist in his hand.

I don't object too much as he pulls my arm up over my head. I know Xander won't hurt me, and I'm starting to think that this is a fight I could never win. I sigh, and raise the other one for him willingly. "I knew I could persuade you," Xander chuckles as he clicks the cuffs over my wrists and secures me to the bed.

He kisses me again quickly, and then hops off the bed. "Hey," I call, suddenly a little anxious, "...Where are you going?"

He looks me over from head to toe and offers me a lecherous smile, "I'm not going anywhere," he promises. So what's he getting off the bed for? I look at him suspiciously and he shrugs shyly- one of my very favorite Xanderisms. "Promise you won't laugh?" he asks. I nod somberly. No laughing. I'm handcuffed to the bed, and I'm not about to do something to piss off the guy with the keys. He sighs, "I sorta noticed that you're naked-,"

"Oh, you noticed that, huh?" I know he was being serious, and I shouldn't have interrupted... I just couldn't help myself. He chuckles, and I sigh silently, relieved that I didn't upset him.

"And I'm not," he goes on, tugging playfully at his boxers, "So I thought I'd even out the playing field a bit."

However grateful, I'm a little confused as to why Xander getting naked would be funny. "Xander," I ask, "Why did you ask me not laugh?"

He swings his hips lightly from side to side, "I'm gonna put on a little show," he grins and I prepare myself for the bad Xander humor that I know is coming next, "Seeing as I've got a captive audience," he finishes. Yup, bad Xander humor, right on cue.

I raise my eyebrows expectantly, "So start dancin'," I command. But let's face it, I've got a whole Jaba's slave girl thing going, and even if I *were* the commanding type, I'm *handcuffed to a bed*. Thankfully, Xander takes my order anyway.

I never had him pegged as the stripping type, but... he's pretty good. He's swinging his hips and sliding his hands over his chest, making me wish I wasn't confined to the bed. He turns around and shakes his ass a little, and he's close enough to me that I can reach a foot out and kick him lightly. He jumps, and aims a reproving smile over his shoulder. I play innocent, and he grins. Then, still looking back over his shoulder, Xander runs his hands around to his back, hooks his thumbs into his waistband, and tugs it down a little. He leans over a bit, and wiggles back and forth teasingly. I'm starting to think that maybe he's done this before, but I'm not about to complain. He slides his boxers down, slowly revealing his lovely backside, and I strain at the handcuffs holding me to the bed, wishing that I could get just a little closer.

By the time he's got his boxers down around his ankles, I'm whimpering and tugging at my restraints, praying that he'll turn around and come join me in bed *quickly*. As if reading my mind, Xander swivels around to face me, in all his naked glory. He takes a step towards me but gets tangled up in his boxers, tumbles backwards, smacks his head on the wall and rebounds off again to fall face first over my legs on the bed. It's a total Jar-Jar moment, and I'm not sure whether I should be laughing or shouting for help. When he makes no move to get up, I start to worry. "Xander?" I ask, "Are you okay?" He doesn't answer, but I can feel his pulse where his chest is squashed on top of my knees, so at least I know he's not dead. "Xander?" I ask again hopefully. Still no answer. Great. He's knocked himself unconscious.

I raise my knees a bit, hoping to wake him up, but it doesn't work, and I just end up rolling him onto his back. Damn. He'd seemed really excited about this whole thing, too. Actually, and I have to confess that this makes me giggle a bit, the evidence of Xander's excitement is standing up at an amusing angle where his hips are pushed forward over my leg. My giggle fades as I realize that if I weren't handcuffed to the bed, I could get down there and do a few things that I'm sure would speed Xander's return to consciousness. I pull against the cuffs again on the off chance that they'll break and I'll be free, but they don't budge. "Trust me, it'll be fun," I say, mimicking Xander as best I can. This is not fun.

I sigh in resignation. At least he fell on the bed where I can see him so that I've got something interesting to look at until he comes to... Which I hope will be soon, because his... *excitement* is fading fast, and I'm getting bored.

Oh, and I've just figured out where I stand on the whole bondage bit. I've decided that I'm cool with it, but if Xander ever wants to play with handcuffs again... *he* gets to wear them.

The end.