WARDEN:
...Caffeine, cocaine or opium? Arm length: 31 inches... The matrons are on the way. So don't get too cozy. Put off that cigarette!
GWEN:
Ever had McGonagall before? She's fine... as long as you keep her happy.
LEE JORDAN:
And now, ladies and gentlemen. The keeper of the keys, the countess of the clink, the mistress of murderers' row. Matron Mama McGonagall!
MAMA MCGONAGALL:
Ask any of the chickies in my pen
They'll tell you I'm the biggest mother hen
I love 'em all and all of them love me
Because the system works
The system called reciprocity...
WARDEN:
On your feet.
MAMA MCGONAGALL:
Welcome, ladies.
Got a little motto
Always sees me through
"When you're good to Mama
Mama's good to you".
You might think l'd make your life a living hell, which is not true.
There's a lot of favors
I'm prepared to do
You do one for Mama
She'll do one for you.
l'd be your friend if you let me. So if something upsets you or makes you unhappy in any way, don't shoot your fat-ass mouth on me 'cause l won't give a shit. Now move it out.
They say that life is tit for tat
And that's the way I live
So, I deserve a lot of tat
For what I've got to give
Don't you know that this hand
Washes that one too
When you're good to Mama
Mama's good to you!
WARDEN:
Let's go!
MAMA MCGONAGALL:
You must be Krum. You're a pretty one.
HERMIONE:
Thank you, ma'am.
MAMA MCGONAGALL:
Why don't you call me Mama? We can take care of you. You'd be happy taken down in this block. Murderers' Row, we called it.
HERMIONE:
Oh, is that nicer? I don't think I'm really belonging here. I didn't actually
do anything wrong.
MAMA MCGONAGALL:
Don't need to tell me, honey. I've never heard of a man getting killed. When I get used to - just come to talk
GINNY:
Hey, mama. Come here.
HERMIONE:
Ginny Weasley? You're the Ginny Weasley? You know I was there that night? I was there that night that you got arrested.
GINNY:
Yeah, you're & half of Hogsmeade. Look at this, Mama. Another story of
denouncing me in Witch Weekly magazine. "Not in memory do we recall so horrible a double homicide."
MAMA MCGONAGALL:
Maybe you couldn't buy that kind of publicity.
GINNY:
Couldn't buy it? I guess I can keep these then.
MAMA MCGONAGALL:
Let's try.
If you want my gravy
Pepper my ragout
Spice it up for Mama
She'll get hot for you
When they pass that basket
Folk contribute to
You put in for Mama
She'll put out for you
The folks atop the ladder
Are the ones the world adores
So boost me up my ladder, Kid
And I'll boost you up yours
Let's all stroke together
Like the Princeton crew
When you're strokin' Mama
Mama's strokin' you
So what's the one conclusion
I can bring this number to?
When you're good to Mama
Mama's good to you!
HERMIONE:
Mama? It's... kinda freezing in here. You don't think maybe there's something wrong with the heat? Not that I'm complaining, mind you but... you know... if you can bring some blankets on the way...
MAMA MCGONAGALL:
Lights out, ladies.
...Caffeine, cocaine or opium? Arm length: 31 inches... The matrons are on the way. So don't get too cozy. Put off that cigarette!
GWEN:
Ever had McGonagall before? She's fine... as long as you keep her happy.
LEE JORDAN:
And now, ladies and gentlemen. The keeper of the keys, the countess of the clink, the mistress of murderers' row. Matron Mama McGonagall!
MAMA MCGONAGALL:
Ask any of the chickies in my pen
They'll tell you I'm the biggest mother hen
I love 'em all and all of them love me
Because the system works
The system called reciprocity...
WARDEN:
On your feet.
MAMA MCGONAGALL:
Welcome, ladies.
Got a little motto
Always sees me through
"When you're good to Mama
Mama's good to you".
You might think l'd make your life a living hell, which is not true.
There's a lot of favors
I'm prepared to do
You do one for Mama
She'll do one for you.
l'd be your friend if you let me. So if something upsets you or makes you unhappy in any way, don't shoot your fat-ass mouth on me 'cause l won't give a shit. Now move it out.
They say that life is tit for tat
And that's the way I live
So, I deserve a lot of tat
For what I've got to give
Don't you know that this hand
Washes that one too
When you're good to Mama
Mama's good to you!
WARDEN:
Let's go!
MAMA MCGONAGALL:
You must be Krum. You're a pretty one.
HERMIONE:
Thank you, ma'am.
MAMA MCGONAGALL:
Why don't you call me Mama? We can take care of you. You'd be happy taken down in this block. Murderers' Row, we called it.
HERMIONE:
Oh, is that nicer? I don't think I'm really belonging here. I didn't actually
do anything wrong.
MAMA MCGONAGALL:
Don't need to tell me, honey. I've never heard of a man getting killed. When I get used to - just come to talk
GINNY:
Hey, mama. Come here.
HERMIONE:
Ginny Weasley? You're the Ginny Weasley? You know I was there that night? I was there that night that you got arrested.
GINNY:
Yeah, you're & half of Hogsmeade. Look at this, Mama. Another story of
denouncing me in Witch Weekly magazine. "Not in memory do we recall so horrible a double homicide."
MAMA MCGONAGALL:
Maybe you couldn't buy that kind of publicity.
GINNY:
Couldn't buy it? I guess I can keep these then.
MAMA MCGONAGALL:
Let's try.
If you want my gravy
Pepper my ragout
Spice it up for Mama
She'll get hot for you
When they pass that basket
Folk contribute to
You put in for Mama
She'll put out for you
The folks atop the ladder
Are the ones the world adores
So boost me up my ladder, Kid
And I'll boost you up yours
Let's all stroke together
Like the Princeton crew
When you're strokin' Mama
Mama's strokin' you
So what's the one conclusion
I can bring this number to?
When you're good to Mama
Mama's good to you!
HERMIONE:
Mama? It's... kinda freezing in here. You don't think maybe there's something wrong with the heat? Not that I'm complaining, mind you but... you know... if you can bring some blankets on the way...
MAMA MCGONAGALL:
Lights out, ladies.