GINNY:
l just can't take it anymore. Can't go anywhere without hearing about that dumb tomato! Oh, Mama, not you too.
MAMA MCGONAGALL
I've got some bad news, kid. The tour has been canceled.
GINNY:
What?
MAMA MCGONAGALL
Your name is out of the paper too long. I read about today, it's the Krum kid. She's hot.
GINNY:
And what am I supposed to do? Suck up to her like everybody else?
MAMA MCGONAGALL
It couldn't hurt.
GINNY:
Over my dead body.
_________________________________________________________
(camera changes, with Hermione)
Mind if I join you?
VOICE OFF-CAMERA
Lights out
GINNY:
Look what some Johnny sent me. Triple cream caramels, all the way from San Francisco.
HERMIONE:
Oh, I'm watching my figure. You know, the trial.
GINNY:
Hey, Great mention of you in the Prophet today, huh?
HERMIONE:
There have been so many, I just can't keep track.
GINNY:
Let me tell you, you're exactly same size as my sister. I mean, you'd fit into her costumes perfectly.
HERMIONE:
Really?
GINNY:
Yeah, and I'm just thinking, you know, with all the publicity piled up between us when Harry gets us off, we would be a natural to do an act together.
HERMIONE:
You think so?
LEE JORDAN:
Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Ginny Weasley in Act of Desperation.
GINNY:
My sister and I had an act that couldn't flop
My sister and I were headed straight for the top
My sister and I earned a thou a week at least
Oh, yeah!
But my sister is now, unfortunately, deceased
Oh, I know it's sad, of course
But a fact
is still a fact
And now all that remains
Is the remains
Of a perfect
double
act!
Watch this.
They have to match it with 2 people.
It's just all two people.
First I'd...
Then she'd...
Then we'd...
But I can't do it alone!
Then she'd...
Then I'd...
Then we'...
But I can't do it alone!
She'd say, "What's your sister like?"
I'd say, "Men,"
She'd say, "you're the cat's meow"
Then we'd wow the crowd again
When she'd go...
I'd go...
We'd go...
And then those ding-dong daddies started to roar
Whistled, stomped and stamped on the floor
Yelling, screaming, begging for more.
And we'd say, "O.K. fellas, keep your socks up."
you ain't seen nothin' yet!"
But I simply cannot do it
alone!
So what do you think?
Come on, you can say.
HERMIONE:
Pfrrrrrr!!!
GINNY:
I know you're right.
The first part is shit.
But the second part...
the second part is really nifty.
Ok, When she'd go...
I'd go...
We'd go...
And then those two-bit Johnnies did it up brown
To cheer the best attraction in town
They nearly tore the balcony down
And we'd say. "Okay, boys...
we're goin' home, but before we go here's a few more partin' shots!"
And this...
this we did in perfect unison.
Now, you've seen me goin' through it
It may seem there's nothin' to it
But I simply cannot do it
Alone!
HERMIONE:
So where's the part where you blew her brains out?
GINNY:
Okay, Hermione. I'll leave..
HERMIONE:
No, don't bother. You think you're fooling me? You're all washed up. And it's me they want now, and l'm a big star. Single. Oh, I almost forgot. You're in the paper today too. In the back. 'Ginny Weasley's trial has been postponed indefinitely.' Seven words. Here a little piece of advice. Direct from me to you. Lay off the caramels.
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
LEE JORDAN
And now, for all you Hogsmeade's stay-up-laters, to night owls who only come alive at the dark, we dedicate this tune. Hogsmeade, After Midnight.
HARRY:
This all took place in London? lncredible. All right. Thanks. They just
arrested this woman for triple homicide.
MAN:
Really?
HARRY:
Yeah, get this. She's an Aries! And her family is in the brooms or
Quaffles, something to do with Quidditch. (camera changes)
The demon Katie works in something... She's playing house. On the north side in an apartment, she met Fred. What Fred does for living, no one's quite sure. But it doesn't really matter 'cause she's paying all the bills. Anyhow, Katie comes home tonight. Fred was already in bed. She goes to change. When she returns, she notices something rather odd, extremely odd. There're strippers in the apartment. Katie disappears for a second. And she returns, she gently wakes up Fred. Fred says, ''What? l'm alone!'' ''Alone?'' she says, '' you have two other women in bed with you!'' And Fred says, ''Come on, darling, you going to believe what you see or what l tell you?''
LEE JORDAN
Good night, folks.
______________________________________________________________
RITA SKEETER:
Miss Bell, Miss Bell! Rita Skeeter from The Quibbler. Would you mind saying a word or two?
KATIE BELL:
Sure l'll say things. Go to hell!
HARRY:
Please direct your question to the counsel.
KATIE BELL:
Tell the counsel I want my money back!
HARRY:
It's not your money. It's your mother's money.
RITA SKEETER:
Are you sorry, dear?
KATIE BELL:
Yeah, I'm sorry that I got caught.
HERMIONE:
Okay, Miss Skeeter.
RITA SKEETER:
Hello, Hermione.
HERMIONE:
I got a letter from a guy. He says he going to hunger strike till I'm free.
RITA SKEETER:
That's nice.
REPORTER:
Miss Bell, did you know these two ladies personally?
KATEI BELL
Did I know these two ladies personally? Was that your question?
REPORTER:
Yeah, that's my... (Katie kicks reporter)
MAMA MCGONAGALL
She's very hot spirit, isn't she? Miss Bell…
HERMIONE:
Hey, Mr. Potter.
HARRY:
Yeah, hi, Hally.
HERMIONE:
lt's Hermione.
HARRY:
Yeah, sure, I'm just kidding.
HERMIONE:
Did you get my trial date yet?
HARRY:
Listen, kid.
HERMIONE:
I'm on top of your list, right?
KATEI BELL:
Go to hell!
HARRY:
What a hellion, huh? And social lite too. Her mother owns all the brooms
in Scotland.
HERMIONE:
What do I care about brooms?
HARRY:
All right... That's all for the questions. And l'll be happy to get back to you myself.
HERMIONE:
Harry...
GINNY:
How does it feel, kid? Pretty soon we couldn't find your name in the papers.
HERMIONE:
Mr. Potter? (Passes out)
HARRY:
Someone open the door immediately!
RITA SKEETER:
Oh, my god. Hermione! What is it?
HERMIONE:
Oh, no. Don't worry about me. I only hope the fall didn't hurt the baby.
MAMA MCGONAGALL
Baby?
GINNY:
Shit!
l just can't take it anymore. Can't go anywhere without hearing about that dumb tomato! Oh, Mama, not you too.
MAMA MCGONAGALL
I've got some bad news, kid. The tour has been canceled.
GINNY:
What?
MAMA MCGONAGALL
Your name is out of the paper too long. I read about today, it's the Krum kid. She's hot.
GINNY:
And what am I supposed to do? Suck up to her like everybody else?
MAMA MCGONAGALL
It couldn't hurt.
GINNY:
Over my dead body.
_________________________________________________________
(camera changes, with Hermione)
Mind if I join you?
VOICE OFF-CAMERA
Lights out
GINNY:
Look what some Johnny sent me. Triple cream caramels, all the way from San Francisco.
HERMIONE:
Oh, I'm watching my figure. You know, the trial.
GINNY:
Hey, Great mention of you in the Prophet today, huh?
HERMIONE:
There have been so many, I just can't keep track.
GINNY:
Let me tell you, you're exactly same size as my sister. I mean, you'd fit into her costumes perfectly.
HERMIONE:
Really?
GINNY:
Yeah, and I'm just thinking, you know, with all the publicity piled up between us when Harry gets us off, we would be a natural to do an act together.
HERMIONE:
You think so?
LEE JORDAN:
Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Ginny Weasley in Act of Desperation.
GINNY:
My sister and I had an act that couldn't flop
My sister and I were headed straight for the top
My sister and I earned a thou a week at least
Oh, yeah!
But my sister is now, unfortunately, deceased
Oh, I know it's sad, of course
But a fact
is still a fact
And now all that remains
Is the remains
Of a perfect
double
act!
Watch this.
They have to match it with 2 people.
It's just all two people.
First I'd...
Then she'd...
Then we'd...
But I can't do it alone!
Then she'd...
Then I'd...
Then we'...
But I can't do it alone!
She'd say, "What's your sister like?"
I'd say, "Men,"
She'd say, "you're the cat's meow"
Then we'd wow the crowd again
When she'd go...
I'd go...
We'd go...
And then those ding-dong daddies started to roar
Whistled, stomped and stamped on the floor
Yelling, screaming, begging for more.
And we'd say, "O.K. fellas, keep your socks up."
you ain't seen nothin' yet!"
But I simply cannot do it
alone!
So what do you think?
Come on, you can say.
HERMIONE:
Pfrrrrrr!!!
GINNY:
I know you're right.
The first part is shit.
But the second part...
the second part is really nifty.
Ok, When she'd go...
I'd go...
We'd go...
And then those two-bit Johnnies did it up brown
To cheer the best attraction in town
They nearly tore the balcony down
And we'd say. "Okay, boys...
we're goin' home, but before we go here's a few more partin' shots!"
And this...
this we did in perfect unison.
Now, you've seen me goin' through it
It may seem there's nothin' to it
But I simply cannot do it
Alone!
HERMIONE:
So where's the part where you blew her brains out?
GINNY:
Okay, Hermione. I'll leave..
HERMIONE:
No, don't bother. You think you're fooling me? You're all washed up. And it's me they want now, and l'm a big star. Single. Oh, I almost forgot. You're in the paper today too. In the back. 'Ginny Weasley's trial has been postponed indefinitely.' Seven words. Here a little piece of advice. Direct from me to you. Lay off the caramels.
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
LEE JORDAN
And now, for all you Hogsmeade's stay-up-laters, to night owls who only come alive at the dark, we dedicate this tune. Hogsmeade, After Midnight.
HARRY:
This all took place in London? lncredible. All right. Thanks. They just
arrested this woman for triple homicide.
MAN:
Really?
HARRY:
Yeah, get this. She's an Aries! And her family is in the brooms or
Quaffles, something to do with Quidditch. (camera changes)
The demon Katie works in something... She's playing house. On the north side in an apartment, she met Fred. What Fred does for living, no one's quite sure. But it doesn't really matter 'cause she's paying all the bills. Anyhow, Katie comes home tonight. Fred was already in bed. She goes to change. When she returns, she notices something rather odd, extremely odd. There're strippers in the apartment. Katie disappears for a second. And she returns, she gently wakes up Fred. Fred says, ''What? l'm alone!'' ''Alone?'' she says, '' you have two other women in bed with you!'' And Fred says, ''Come on, darling, you going to believe what you see or what l tell you?''
LEE JORDAN
Good night, folks.
______________________________________________________________
RITA SKEETER:
Miss Bell, Miss Bell! Rita Skeeter from The Quibbler. Would you mind saying a word or two?
KATIE BELL:
Sure l'll say things. Go to hell!
HARRY:
Please direct your question to the counsel.
KATIE BELL:
Tell the counsel I want my money back!
HARRY:
It's not your money. It's your mother's money.
RITA SKEETER:
Are you sorry, dear?
KATIE BELL:
Yeah, I'm sorry that I got caught.
HERMIONE:
Okay, Miss Skeeter.
RITA SKEETER:
Hello, Hermione.
HERMIONE:
I got a letter from a guy. He says he going to hunger strike till I'm free.
RITA SKEETER:
That's nice.
REPORTER:
Miss Bell, did you know these two ladies personally?
KATEI BELL
Did I know these two ladies personally? Was that your question?
REPORTER:
Yeah, that's my... (Katie kicks reporter)
MAMA MCGONAGALL
She's very hot spirit, isn't she? Miss Bell…
HERMIONE:
Hey, Mr. Potter.
HARRY:
Yeah, hi, Hally.
HERMIONE:
lt's Hermione.
HARRY:
Yeah, sure, I'm just kidding.
HERMIONE:
Did you get my trial date yet?
HARRY:
Listen, kid.
HERMIONE:
I'm on top of your list, right?
KATEI BELL:
Go to hell!
HARRY:
What a hellion, huh? And social lite too. Her mother owns all the brooms
in Scotland.
HERMIONE:
What do I care about brooms?
HARRY:
All right... That's all for the questions. And l'll be happy to get back to you myself.
HERMIONE:
Harry...
GINNY:
How does it feel, kid? Pretty soon we couldn't find your name in the papers.
HERMIONE:
Mr. Potter? (Passes out)
HARRY:
Someone open the door immediately!
RITA SKEETER:
Oh, my god. Hermione! What is it?
HERMIONE:
Oh, no. Don't worry about me. I only hope the fall didn't hurt the baby.
MAMA MCGONAGALL
Baby?
GINNY:
Shit!