HARRY:
Well, doctor, is she or isn't she?
DOCTOR:
She is.
HARRY:
Would you swear that statement in court?
DOCTOR:
Yes.
HARRY:
Good. Button your fly.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
HERMIONE:
I would just like to say that my own life doesn't matter now. Just that
of my unborn child.
RITA SKEETER:
Poor girl, you'd have your baby born in jail. My readers won't stand for that.
HARRY:
I can assure you that won't happen. The trial will come in the fastest possible moment.
MAMA MCGONAGALL
First time we'll ever have one of our girls knocked up.
VIKTOR:
Hey, Herm-own-ninny... Herm-own-ninny! I just heard the good news! I'm the father.
REPORTER:
Hey, Hermione, who's the father?
HARRY:
The question is completely out of line. How dare you insult this brave young woman?
VIKTOR:
Herm-own-ninny, honey! It's me, it's daddy! Herm-own-ninny, I'll get to you as soon as I can.
_______________________________________________________________
If someone stood up in a crowd
And raised his voice up way out loud
And waved his arm and shook his leg
You'd notice him
If someone in the Quiddtich match
Yelled "Fire in the second stand"
This whole place is a powder keg!
You'd notice him
And even without clucking like a hen
Everyone gets noticed, now and then,
Unless, of course, that personage should be
Invisible, inconsequential me!
Cellophane
Mister Cellophane
Shoulda been my name
Mister Cellophane
'Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I'm there...
I tell you
Cellophane
Mister
Cellophane
Shoulda been my name
Mister
Cellophane
'Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I'm there...
HARRY:
Oh, l didn't see you. Sit down. Look, Vincent, I'm afraid I've got to hit you hard. I can only hope you would think about it.
VIKTOR:
Viktor, my name is Viktor.
HARRY:
Who says it wasn't? It was the kid's name I was thinking about.
You know when she is due? September. Pass out those cigars anyway, I don't want you to give a damn on the people.
VIKTOR:
People vhat?
HARRY:
Laugh.
VIKTOR:
Laugh? Why would they laugh?
HARRY:
Because they can count. Can you count? September. In the first copy of Hermione's statement from Longbottom's office she says she hadn't copulated with you for four months prior the incidents.
VIKTOR:
She vould know. Yeah, I guess we've done no copulating since... Wait a minute. That doesn't figure out right. I couldn't be the father.
HARRY:
Well, forget about that. My client needs your support.
VIKTOR:
You mean she needs a meal ticket? That's all l've ever been. This time she's gone too far.
HARRY:
What you going to do? Divorce her?
VIKTOR:
You're right! I'll divorce her! She probably won't even notice.
HARRY:
Yeah. I'm sorry.
VIKTOR:
A human being's made of more than air
With all that bulk, you're bound to see him there
Unless that human being next to you
Is unimpressive, undistinguished
You
Know
who...
HARRY:
You still in here?
VIKTOR:
Yeah, l'm still in here.
Should've been my name
Mister Cellophane
'Cause you can look right through me
Valk right by me
And never know I'm there...
I tell ya
Cellophane
Mister Cellophane
Should've been my name
Mister Cellophane
'Cause you can look right through me
Valk right by me
And never know I'm there
Never even know I'm there.
VIKTOR:
I hope I didn't take up too much of your time.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
HARRY:
I've been waiting for you 10 minutes. Don't do that again.
HERMIONE:
This dress makes me look like a Woolworth lampshade. I am not wearing this.
HARRY:
You'll wear it because I tell you to wear it.
HERMIONE:
I'm not wearing this dress.
HARRY:
And when Vincent's on the stand, I want you to do knitting.
HERMIONE:
Knitting?
HARRY:
A baby garment.
HERMIONE:
I don't know how to knit!
HARRY:
Then learn.
HERMIONE:
That's no way to win the Wizengamot's sympathy.
HARRY:
You don't need advice anymore?
HERMIONE:
Look at here, Mr. Mouthpiece. It seems to me that I'm the one who's coming up with the good ideas. I'm sick of everybody telling me what to do. And you treat me like dirt. You treat me like some dumb, common criminal.
HARRY:
But you're some dumb, common criminal.
HERMIONE:
Well, it's better than be a greasy-mite lawyer.
HARRY:
Who is up to be saving your ass.
HERMIONE:
Who is up for all that he can steal!
HARRY:
Maybe you'd like to appeal at court without me.
HERMIONE:
Maybe I could. Have you read the morning papers? They love me.
HARRY:
There may be a lot more when you hang. You know why: Because it'll sell more papers.
HERMIONE:
You're fired.
HARRY:
I quit.
HERMIONE:
Any lawyer in this town would die to have my case.
HARRY:
You're a phony celebrity. You're a flash. ln a couple of weeks, no one would care about you. That's Hogsmeade.
FLEUR SCREAMED OFF CAMERA:
No! Not guilty!
HERMIONE:
What happened?
GINNY:
lt's Fleur. She lost the last appeal.
HERMIONE:
So what does that mean?
GINNY:
What that means? Next week, she's going to...
_______________________________________________________________
RITA SKEETER:
This is Rita Skeeter, coming to you from the Azkaban Prison, where history will be made today. Fleur Delacour will become the first woman in the country of England to be executed. And so ladies and gentlemen...
LEE JORDAN
And now, ladies and gentlemen, for your pleasure and your entertainment, we proudly present Fleur Delacour and her famous French Disappearing Act.
CROWD:
Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!
Well, doctor, is she or isn't she?
DOCTOR:
She is.
HARRY:
Would you swear that statement in court?
DOCTOR:
Yes.
HARRY:
Good. Button your fly.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
HERMIONE:
I would just like to say that my own life doesn't matter now. Just that
of my unborn child.
RITA SKEETER:
Poor girl, you'd have your baby born in jail. My readers won't stand for that.
HARRY:
I can assure you that won't happen. The trial will come in the fastest possible moment.
MAMA MCGONAGALL
First time we'll ever have one of our girls knocked up.
VIKTOR:
Hey, Herm-own-ninny... Herm-own-ninny! I just heard the good news! I'm the father.
REPORTER:
Hey, Hermione, who's the father?
HARRY:
The question is completely out of line. How dare you insult this brave young woman?
VIKTOR:
Herm-own-ninny, honey! It's me, it's daddy! Herm-own-ninny, I'll get to you as soon as I can.
_______________________________________________________________
If someone stood up in a crowd
And raised his voice up way out loud
And waved his arm and shook his leg
You'd notice him
If someone in the Quiddtich match
Yelled "Fire in the second stand"
This whole place is a powder keg!
You'd notice him
And even without clucking like a hen
Everyone gets noticed, now and then,
Unless, of course, that personage should be
Invisible, inconsequential me!
Cellophane
Mister Cellophane
Shoulda been my name
Mister Cellophane
'Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I'm there...
I tell you
Cellophane
Mister
Cellophane
Shoulda been my name
Mister
Cellophane
'Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I'm there...
HARRY:
Oh, l didn't see you. Sit down. Look, Vincent, I'm afraid I've got to hit you hard. I can only hope you would think about it.
VIKTOR:
Viktor, my name is Viktor.
HARRY:
Who says it wasn't? It was the kid's name I was thinking about.
You know when she is due? September. Pass out those cigars anyway, I don't want you to give a damn on the people.
VIKTOR:
People vhat?
HARRY:
Laugh.
VIKTOR:
Laugh? Why would they laugh?
HARRY:
Because they can count. Can you count? September. In the first copy of Hermione's statement from Longbottom's office she says she hadn't copulated with you for four months prior the incidents.
VIKTOR:
She vould know. Yeah, I guess we've done no copulating since... Wait a minute. That doesn't figure out right. I couldn't be the father.
HARRY:
Well, forget about that. My client needs your support.
VIKTOR:
You mean she needs a meal ticket? That's all l've ever been. This time she's gone too far.
HARRY:
What you going to do? Divorce her?
VIKTOR:
You're right! I'll divorce her! She probably won't even notice.
HARRY:
Yeah. I'm sorry.
VIKTOR:
A human being's made of more than air
With all that bulk, you're bound to see him there
Unless that human being next to you
Is unimpressive, undistinguished
You
Know
who...
HARRY:
You still in here?
VIKTOR:
Yeah, l'm still in here.
Should've been my name
Mister Cellophane
'Cause you can look right through me
Valk right by me
And never know I'm there...
I tell ya
Cellophane
Mister Cellophane
Should've been my name
Mister Cellophane
'Cause you can look right through me
Valk right by me
And never know I'm there
Never even know I'm there.
VIKTOR:
I hope I didn't take up too much of your time.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
HARRY:
I've been waiting for you 10 minutes. Don't do that again.
HERMIONE:
This dress makes me look like a Woolworth lampshade. I am not wearing this.
HARRY:
You'll wear it because I tell you to wear it.
HERMIONE:
I'm not wearing this dress.
HARRY:
And when Vincent's on the stand, I want you to do knitting.
HERMIONE:
Knitting?
HARRY:
A baby garment.
HERMIONE:
I don't know how to knit!
HARRY:
Then learn.
HERMIONE:
That's no way to win the Wizengamot's sympathy.
HARRY:
You don't need advice anymore?
HERMIONE:
Look at here, Mr. Mouthpiece. It seems to me that I'm the one who's coming up with the good ideas. I'm sick of everybody telling me what to do. And you treat me like dirt. You treat me like some dumb, common criminal.
HARRY:
But you're some dumb, common criminal.
HERMIONE:
Well, it's better than be a greasy-mite lawyer.
HARRY:
Who is up to be saving your ass.
HERMIONE:
Who is up for all that he can steal!
HARRY:
Maybe you'd like to appeal at court without me.
HERMIONE:
Maybe I could. Have you read the morning papers? They love me.
HARRY:
There may be a lot more when you hang. You know why: Because it'll sell more papers.
HERMIONE:
You're fired.
HARRY:
I quit.
HERMIONE:
Any lawyer in this town would die to have my case.
HARRY:
You're a phony celebrity. You're a flash. ln a couple of weeks, no one would care about you. That's Hogsmeade.
FLEUR SCREAMED OFF CAMERA:
No! Not guilty!
HERMIONE:
What happened?
GINNY:
lt's Fleur. She lost the last appeal.
HERMIONE:
So what does that mean?
GINNY:
What that means? Next week, she's going to...
_______________________________________________________________
RITA SKEETER:
This is Rita Skeeter, coming to you from the Azkaban Prison, where history will be made today. Fleur Delacour will become the first woman in the country of England to be executed. And so ladies and gentlemen...
LEE JORDAN
And now, ladies and gentlemen, for your pleasure and your entertainment, we proudly present Fleur Delacour and her famous French Disappearing Act.
CROWD:
Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!