"I brought you something," he said with a cautious voice. He had gone before she awoke, and he didn't know how she would be feeling today. He hoped his little gift might make her happy.
She turned to give him a small smile of acknowledgement. "What is it? More doughnuts? A warm blanket maybe?"
"No... but now that I know about them, I might put them on the list for next time," he smiled back to her. He couldn't help it; she was one of the few parts of his life that had actually gone right.
"Well what is it? Don't keep me in suspense!" She got off the window ledge and walked closer to him.
Playfully he took a step back and issued a silent challenge. The Cordelia he knew didn't seem to be one to back down from a challenge, so when she chased after him, he wasn't surprised. He didn't try to resist too hard when she captured him and held him down to the floor. He just smiled goofily up at her.
"Where is it?"
"Over there," he said pointing to the plastic shopping bag a few feet away.
She looked in the direction he pointed and then walked over to go investigate the package. Reaching in she pulled out a small transistor radio.
"A radio? I like gifts, but why did you get me a radio?"
His rising hope that she would enjoy his present just began to swan dive. "Most people enjoy music. I thought it would help you feel more at home here. More... not alone."
"Thank you, Connor," she said with a broad smile. She was so beautiful when she was smiling that she was almost literally breathtaking.
"You're welcome," he coughed back to her.
She turned on the radio and it was a bit of reassuring background noise against their daily activities. Most songs Connor had never heard. Others Cordelia did know, but she was never sure about the origin of that knowledge. It was reassuring to know something, but completely disconcerting to her not to have a context for her new-found information.
Around noon the station played an all 80's lunch hour. It must have been one of the program specialties for that particular station. With strange band names like Oingo Boingo, Talking Heads and Flock of Seagulls, Connor was sure there was some demon element behind it. Cordelia did seem to enjoy the presence of the radio more and more, while Connor only half listened while polishing and sharpening his weapons.
Towards the end of the hour, he stopped his work for a momentary break. He heard the DJ's booming and ridiculously happy voice say, "And rounding out our 80's lunch, The Bangles with 'Eternal Flame'." It was then that Connor heard the soft beginnings of the love ballad.
"Oh, not a love song," he inwardly groaned. The mere thought of it made him feel uncomfortable. While he was listening to the song, some of the lyrics started filtering into his consciousness.
"Say my name and sun shines through the rain..."
How awful! It was songs like that that reinforced that love not only made a person stupid, but also weak. Then he noticed Cordelia humming along to the melody. She actually liked this song. Connor was stuck between distaste and giving it another try simply because Cordelia liked it.
Then he heard another lyric that stuck in his head like a flaming arrow. "I watch you when you are sleeping. You belong to me..." He jumped up to clear his head and get out of the newly music-influenced environment.
"I am going to go get us something to eat," he covered as he hastily ran out of the loft.
He walked through the dark alleys for a long time not really seeing or finding anything. He came upon a random vampire and killed him quickly even with his distracted state of mind. He did it quickly and efficiently with the attitude of one swatting a fly.
He did return to Cordelia much later not forgetting to bring the promised meal. They did their activities in radio silence for the rest of the day. She had said something offhand about conserving the batteries.
In the evening when she finally chose to sleep, he covered her with a new warm blanket. It was chilly in there after the fun of visiting lawyers. Her request for a warmer blanket had not gone unnoticed.
He sat on the windowsill starting out into the night thinking and listening to the sounds of the city. He then turned and watched her protectively. She had been having bad dreams which would cause her to whimper and toss and turn in the night. He walked closer to smooth her furrowed brow, and the line from that song entered his head again. I watch you when you are sleeping. You belong to me.
No, she didn't belong to him. Not really. Cordelia belonged only to herself, even if she didn't realize the self that she was. She had chosen him and not Angel, although she could have lived in the exceeding comfort of the Hyperion. It was then that he realized he loved her for it.
He loved her for it. Connor inwardly kicked himself. Down this path were stupidity and weakness. He was certain personal attachments never amounted to anything good. Yet there she was, and much to his increasing surprise he wanted her to stay with him.
He sat on the floor near where she slept oddly feeling both contented and disturbed. One of his last conscious thoughts before drifting to sleep was that not all weaknesses are fatal. He knew about his weakness for Cordelia, but he could somehow turn and make it his strength as well. Thus Angel's son and Cordelia's new protector fell into a sleep of jumbled dreams.