'Ey, Lucius!' Lucius Malfoy looked up. 'What is it?!' The witch was used to
getting hissed at. 'This came in the mail for ya!' She threw an envelope on
his desk. Lucius sighed. 'Not another love letter...' The witch snorted.
'Sorry, mate, it's some sort of test. Everyone got one. It's from Albus.'
Lucius coughed. 'Dumbledore, eh? A love letter from him... who knew?!' The
witch sighed. 'Just... fill it in, ok? See ya!' She was gone.
Lucius looked at the envelope. 'Dumbledore is in love with me?!' The witch was suddenly back. 'No, stupid blonde! It's a TEST!' She ripped the envelope open and a piece of parchment fell out. She shoved it under his nose. 'See! Now, be a good boy and fill it in for Uncle Albus, all right!' She disappeared again.
He looked at the parchment, which had 'Please answer honestly or you'll get shocked!' on it in big red letters. 'Oooh, kinky!' Lucius grabbed a quill and started writing.
***************************************************************************
Full Name: Lucius William Malfoy
Age: Thirty-five! *gets shocked* Hey!! Watch out for the hair! I'm really 39, alright?!
Height: Just a bit taller than the average wizard. So I can look down them. Malfoy power!
Hair colour: Blonde, and exceptionally beautiful
Eyes: Lightblue/grey
Birthplace: Oxford
Current residence: Office. *gets shocked* What?!! I *am* at the office! Oh wait, you mean where I live?! Why didn't you say so... Malfoy Manor!
Favourite place lived: Malfoy Manor. I find cool new things every day, because it's so big, you know...
Do you have any piercings, if so, where: No.
Do you have any tatoo's, if so, where: No. *gets shocked* Agghhh, my pretty hair!! Ok, I got the Dark Mark on my arm and 'Luscious' around my navel...
Do you have any pets: Lots! I don't even remember how many!
Ever been in love: It wasn't love it was lust! But yeah, I fell in love
**Bad habit**: What, apart from the killing? I guess being too sexy for my own good
Are you addicted to anything, if so, what: Myself. And my sexy snake cane, obviously.
**Favourite word**: Luscious, for obvious reasons
Favourite day of the week: Sunday. Don't ask me why, it's just like that
Favourite non-alcoholic drink: Don't care
**Favourite 'naughty' word**: It's fun to say 'Youuuuuu CUNT!'
**Favourite part of the body**: Everything about me is perfect
Favourite movie: Wizard of Oz
Favourite TV-show: None
Favourite song: The muffin Man song. It's so much fun! "Do you know the muffin man, muffin man? Well?! DO YOU?! No? you do not know the muffin man? AVADA KEDAVRA!" always put me in a good mood.
Favourite holiday: I don't kn- oh wait! Christmas! Presents for meeeee, all the presents for meeeeeee!
Favourite food: Muggle! *gets shocked* My hair! My beautiful long, blonde, sexy hair!! What a world, what a world...I'd say Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans than. If I get a nasty bean, I have a good excuse to kill someone!
Favourite sport: Snowboarding! It's great to impress Muggles with my neat tricks, with a little help of good ol' Wingardium Leviosa!
Stupidest thing you ever did: Having Draco. He's so whiney! I'm gonna buy a new kid one of these days...
Stupidest thing you ever did (in public): Dressing up like a whore in Muggle London. Definitely. The cool thing is, though, people were hittin' on me!
**Silliest job you ever had**: I was a gigolo once. But I got fired because I was too damn sexy...
**Silliest word**: Errr... cat?
What colour socks are you wearing right now: Black. Obviously. Black looks great on me.
What colour underwear are you wearing right now: I don't think that's any of your busine- *gets shocked* Nooo! My hair!! It's black, alright!
Most annoying thing is: Draco. He is just so annoying. "Father, Harry Potter has a cool scar and I don't. Father, buy a broomstick for me. Father, while you're at it, buy new broomsticks for the whole damn Slytherin team..."
~Now for the questions everyone wants to know!~
Are you a virgin: Draco didn't just drop out of the sky, you know! So, no.
Ever had sex: Isn't this the same bloody que- *gets shocked* YES!
Are you gay: Excuse me?! I've got a wife and a kid!
Are you attracted to the same sex: Déjà vu! *gets shocked* Just look at the previous question! My beautiful hair... *sob*
Do you have any kinky fantasies, if so, what: Nah, not really. My wife does whatever I say, so I guess they're all fulfilled.
Last question, do you think Azkaban is a kinky place: I... I don't know... I'll check some time.
Thank you for your time.
Quote:
Jason Isaacs: "It's all about the hair for me."
( Well, he IS right... the hair... the cane... the man, Lucius Malfoy!)
~~ Whoaaa, so many reviews! I just want to thank each of you, you all make me feel good!
Next chapter: Arthur Weasley's answers!~~
Lucius looked at the envelope. 'Dumbledore is in love with me?!' The witch was suddenly back. 'No, stupid blonde! It's a TEST!' She ripped the envelope open and a piece of parchment fell out. She shoved it under his nose. 'See! Now, be a good boy and fill it in for Uncle Albus, all right!' She disappeared again.
He looked at the parchment, which had 'Please answer honestly or you'll get shocked!' on it in big red letters. 'Oooh, kinky!' Lucius grabbed a quill and started writing.
***************************************************************************
Full Name: Lucius William Malfoy
Age: Thirty-five! *gets shocked* Hey!! Watch out for the hair! I'm really 39, alright?!
Height: Just a bit taller than the average wizard. So I can look down them. Malfoy power!
Hair colour: Blonde, and exceptionally beautiful
Eyes: Lightblue/grey
Birthplace: Oxford
Current residence: Office. *gets shocked* What?!! I *am* at the office! Oh wait, you mean where I live?! Why didn't you say so... Malfoy Manor!
Favourite place lived: Malfoy Manor. I find cool new things every day, because it's so big, you know...
Do you have any piercings, if so, where: No.
Do you have any tatoo's, if so, where: No. *gets shocked* Agghhh, my pretty hair!! Ok, I got the Dark Mark on my arm and 'Luscious' around my navel...
Do you have any pets: Lots! I don't even remember how many!
Ever been in love: It wasn't love it was lust! But yeah, I fell in love
**Bad habit**: What, apart from the killing? I guess being too sexy for my own good
Are you addicted to anything, if so, what: Myself. And my sexy snake cane, obviously.
**Favourite word**: Luscious, for obvious reasons
Favourite day of the week: Sunday. Don't ask me why, it's just like that
Favourite non-alcoholic drink: Don't care
**Favourite 'naughty' word**: It's fun to say 'Youuuuuu CUNT!'
**Favourite part of the body**: Everything about me is perfect
Favourite movie: Wizard of Oz
Favourite TV-show: None
Favourite song: The muffin Man song. It's so much fun! "Do you know the muffin man, muffin man? Well?! DO YOU?! No? you do not know the muffin man? AVADA KEDAVRA!" always put me in a good mood.
Favourite holiday: I don't kn- oh wait! Christmas! Presents for meeeee, all the presents for meeeeeee!
Favourite food: Muggle! *gets shocked* My hair! My beautiful long, blonde, sexy hair!! What a world, what a world...I'd say Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans than. If I get a nasty bean, I have a good excuse to kill someone!
Favourite sport: Snowboarding! It's great to impress Muggles with my neat tricks, with a little help of good ol' Wingardium Leviosa!
Stupidest thing you ever did: Having Draco. He's so whiney! I'm gonna buy a new kid one of these days...
Stupidest thing you ever did (in public): Dressing up like a whore in Muggle London. Definitely. The cool thing is, though, people were hittin' on me!
**Silliest job you ever had**: I was a gigolo once. But I got fired because I was too damn sexy...
**Silliest word**: Errr... cat?
What colour socks are you wearing right now: Black. Obviously. Black looks great on me.
What colour underwear are you wearing right now: I don't think that's any of your busine- *gets shocked* Nooo! My hair!! It's black, alright!
Most annoying thing is: Draco. He is just so annoying. "Father, Harry Potter has a cool scar and I don't. Father, buy a broomstick for me. Father, while you're at it, buy new broomsticks for the whole damn Slytherin team..."
~Now for the questions everyone wants to know!~
Are you a virgin: Draco didn't just drop out of the sky, you know! So, no.
Ever had sex: Isn't this the same bloody que- *gets shocked* YES!
Are you gay: Excuse me?! I've got a wife and a kid!
Are you attracted to the same sex: Déjà vu! *gets shocked* Just look at the previous question! My beautiful hair... *sob*
Do you have any kinky fantasies, if so, what: Nah, not really. My wife does whatever I say, so I guess they're all fulfilled.
Last question, do you think Azkaban is a kinky place: I... I don't know... I'll check some time.
Thank you for your time.
Quote:
Jason Isaacs: "It's all about the hair for me."
( Well, he IS right... the hair... the cane... the man, Lucius Malfoy!)
~~ Whoaaa, so many reviews! I just want to thank each of you, you all make me feel good!
Next chapter: Arthur Weasley's answers!~~