Author: Foggi (L@spookysand.com)
Disclaimer: I am not Joss. Or anyone else who works on "the other show," therefore do not blame me.
Rating: PG
SPOILER ALERT: For anything coming up in the new season, all of this is based on spoilers, not actual episodes.those will be worse than this.
BIAS ALERT: I love Spike. Those of you who don't love him will probably be made fun of in this parody. No, really, I'm going to make lots of fun of you and I don't want crap for it, bitch. Read at your own risk.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------
Part Two: Cookie Wars.
Spike walks through a door. Then he walks through Angel's desk.
.
Then he walks through Fred. Oh no. Here it comes.
THE DUCKS: AHHHH!!!
THE ANGEL FANS: AHHHHH!!!
THE SPIKE HATERS: AHHHH!!!!
THE SPIKE FANS: Here we go.
THE DUCKS: Did you see it? Did you see it? Spike is going to rape Fred!!! And by doing so, he's going to prove once and for all that Buffy and Angel are going to get married!!!!
THE ANGEL FANS: Hey! Look at him! That man is taking up all of our screen time! I thought the only characters who got ot lust after Fred were.well, every other guy on this show.but, still, Spike is evil and taking up too much screen time!!!
THE SPIKE HATERS: Oh yeah, he's still evil.
THE SPIKE FANS: silence
THE DUCKS: Hey!?!? Where are the Spike fans?
THE ANGEL FANS: Maybe our annoying protests about their favorite character have finally caused them to watch another show.or.do you think???
THE SPIKE HATERS: No, they couldn't have. They wouldn't.
THE DUCKS: Oh god. They've started a letter-writing campaign! Those Spike fans are so evil! Convincing the WB that James Marsters is the most important thing on the show.
THE ANGEL FANS: Damn that Marsters. They only like him because he's sexy.and also possibly because he can act and is an all around nice guy. But that shouldn't matter this is OUR show and we should get priority over every other person on the planet!
Meanwhile, at the Mutant Enemy Offices.
JOSS: Hey, what are all of these postcards? (He reads) Hmm, they seem upset over the idea of Spike as a ghost. That's so strange. That's MY plan that they are angry over. Who would have thought? Well, these must be the stupid fans.they just don't understand the genius behind my work. (Joss walks over to the coffee table beside his desk, and sees a platter of cookies with a large balloon tied to the top of them that reads: "Keep Buffy away from that evil, only good for his looks, rapist. B/A Tru Luv 4Eva!!!") Ah, these are the mature fans!
And back to the world of internet fandom, as things heat up.
THE DUCKS: Ha! Spike is still a ghost! The Spike fans still have no power! They're going to be lead along on the same "is he eeeevil?" storyline forever! Thank god the cookies worked. Now Spike and Buffy will NEVER be together.
THE SPIKE FANS: You do know that most of us hate Buffy, right?
THE DUCKS: Cookies! Bangle!!! Muwhahahahahaha!!!
THE SPIKE FANS: Hm. That's nice.
THE SPIKE HATERS: You know, in 5.2, Spike is evil. He tries to kill Angel. And then he rapes Angel on his very large bathroom floor!!! He's so evil.
THE SPIKE FANS: It's funny, because none of your points make any sense at all.
THE ANGEL FANS: Get your sorry-ass unwanted vampire away from OUR show! We want nothing to do with Spike! We want him gone from our very memory! You eeeevil Spike fans are so stupid, all you care about is how James Marsters looks without his shirt on! You're little girly retards who understand NOTHING!!! Be gone!!!!!!
THE SPIKE FANS: Okay, first of all, if you think we're so dumb than maybe you should go read one of the many essays posted on the net by Spike fans on redemption.or one of our discussions of the hero's journey possibly. And, yes, James Marsters is sexy with his shirt off.just because you're vampire is no reason to be angry. And finally, if you want us to take our support of the character away and have Spike off the show, that's fine, really we've been lead along long enough with crap from ME and many of us are simply tired form watching our character get screwed over time and time again (do we even need to mention the treatment of spike in season seven? Or can we just say the word "cookies" and make you understand). You have to realize that all these years, the character of Angel has been the special vampire, he is the one with the support from the higher-ups and nothing Spike does will ever be good enough to match Angel in the eyes of the networks and many of the writers. And it sucks for us. Because I bet if Angel had gone out and sought a soul himself instead of trying to destroy the world in season two, there would have been a big scene. Spike does it and gets no reward at all. He dies to save the world and to give Buffy a life and then gets made fun of and becomes a ghost. And that's the kind of treatment our fandom gets. So, when people say that we get everything we want, they obviously don't know that they're talking about. And, sure, take James Marsters away from the show. You know what that would leave you with? Nothing, because the WB wouldn't have picked the show up this year without him, and that my friends is mutant enemy canon.
The Spike Fans march out together, stopping only to give James Marsters a thousand lollipops.
Disclaimer: I am not Joss. Or anyone else who works on "the other show," therefore do not blame me.
Rating: PG
SPOILER ALERT: For anything coming up in the new season, all of this is based on spoilers, not actual episodes.those will be worse than this.
BIAS ALERT: I love Spike. Those of you who don't love him will probably be made fun of in this parody. No, really, I'm going to make lots of fun of you and I don't want crap for it, bitch. Read at your own risk.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------
Part Two: Cookie Wars.
Spike walks through a door. Then he walks through Angel's desk.
.
Then he walks through Fred. Oh no. Here it comes.
THE DUCKS: AHHHH!!!
THE ANGEL FANS: AHHHHH!!!
THE SPIKE HATERS: AHHHH!!!!
THE SPIKE FANS: Here we go.
THE DUCKS: Did you see it? Did you see it? Spike is going to rape Fred!!! And by doing so, he's going to prove once and for all that Buffy and Angel are going to get married!!!!
THE ANGEL FANS: Hey! Look at him! That man is taking up all of our screen time! I thought the only characters who got ot lust after Fred were.well, every other guy on this show.but, still, Spike is evil and taking up too much screen time!!!
THE SPIKE HATERS: Oh yeah, he's still evil.
THE SPIKE FANS: silence
THE DUCKS: Hey!?!? Where are the Spike fans?
THE ANGEL FANS: Maybe our annoying protests about their favorite character have finally caused them to watch another show.or.do you think???
THE SPIKE HATERS: No, they couldn't have. They wouldn't.
THE DUCKS: Oh god. They've started a letter-writing campaign! Those Spike fans are so evil! Convincing the WB that James Marsters is the most important thing on the show.
THE ANGEL FANS: Damn that Marsters. They only like him because he's sexy.and also possibly because he can act and is an all around nice guy. But that shouldn't matter this is OUR show and we should get priority over every other person on the planet!
Meanwhile, at the Mutant Enemy Offices.
JOSS: Hey, what are all of these postcards? (He reads) Hmm, they seem upset over the idea of Spike as a ghost. That's so strange. That's MY plan that they are angry over. Who would have thought? Well, these must be the stupid fans.they just don't understand the genius behind my work. (Joss walks over to the coffee table beside his desk, and sees a platter of cookies with a large balloon tied to the top of them that reads: "Keep Buffy away from that evil, only good for his looks, rapist. B/A Tru Luv 4Eva!!!") Ah, these are the mature fans!
And back to the world of internet fandom, as things heat up.
THE DUCKS: Ha! Spike is still a ghost! The Spike fans still have no power! They're going to be lead along on the same "is he eeeevil?" storyline forever! Thank god the cookies worked. Now Spike and Buffy will NEVER be together.
THE SPIKE FANS: You do know that most of us hate Buffy, right?
THE DUCKS: Cookies! Bangle!!! Muwhahahahahaha!!!
THE SPIKE FANS: Hm. That's nice.
THE SPIKE HATERS: You know, in 5.2, Spike is evil. He tries to kill Angel. And then he rapes Angel on his very large bathroom floor!!! He's so evil.
THE SPIKE FANS: It's funny, because none of your points make any sense at all.
THE ANGEL FANS: Get your sorry-ass unwanted vampire away from OUR show! We want nothing to do with Spike! We want him gone from our very memory! You eeeevil Spike fans are so stupid, all you care about is how James Marsters looks without his shirt on! You're little girly retards who understand NOTHING!!! Be gone!!!!!!
THE SPIKE FANS: Okay, first of all, if you think we're so dumb than maybe you should go read one of the many essays posted on the net by Spike fans on redemption.or one of our discussions of the hero's journey possibly. And, yes, James Marsters is sexy with his shirt off.just because you're vampire is no reason to be angry. And finally, if you want us to take our support of the character away and have Spike off the show, that's fine, really we've been lead along long enough with crap from ME and many of us are simply tired form watching our character get screwed over time and time again (do we even need to mention the treatment of spike in season seven? Or can we just say the word "cookies" and make you understand). You have to realize that all these years, the character of Angel has been the special vampire, he is the one with the support from the higher-ups and nothing Spike does will ever be good enough to match Angel in the eyes of the networks and many of the writers. And it sucks for us. Because I bet if Angel had gone out and sought a soul himself instead of trying to destroy the world in season two, there would have been a big scene. Spike does it and gets no reward at all. He dies to save the world and to give Buffy a life and then gets made fun of and becomes a ghost. And that's the kind of treatment our fandom gets. So, when people say that we get everything we want, they obviously don't know that they're talking about. And, sure, take James Marsters away from the show. You know what that would leave you with? Nothing, because the WB wouldn't have picked the show up this year without him, and that my friends is mutant enemy canon.
The Spike Fans march out together, stopping only to give James Marsters a thousand lollipops.